Smarter than you boss? I mean REALLY smarter?

[DVS]

OK, I work in a dead end job. The economy sucks, and I wanted to eat. And, my doctor wants to get paid and I like being warm and, well you know what I mean. Life sucks, sometimes.

Anyway, that's not what this thread is about. Per the title, are you smarter than your boss? And doesn't that kind of piss you off?

And does your boss even know your job, if you were to call in sick or quit or...God forbid, got fired?

Well, I've had jobs where I knew more than the boss. Actually, I was hired just because of that. And, he would come and ask me questions. Kind of backwards, don't you think? But, he paid well.

Anyway, I'm digressing a little from the topic. I said my job is one of those dead end things, and let me tell you, that's the truth. What I'm making now, is the same I was making 20 years ago.

And the boss? He's fucking STUPID! Now, I do mean stupid. Why do I say stupid? The way I see it, ignorant is someone who could learn, but was never correctly taught, for whatever reason. Stupid is not capable of learning.

And, I say my boss is stupid because he's 29, and been in this job for nearly 10 years, so he should know it. It's also one of the first, if not the first job he's ever had.

It's a job where you have to communicate with people, both verbally and in writing. You have to have a basic grasp of the English language to do this.

But, this guy couldn't put together a complete sentence if he had glue, a heavy-duty staple gun and lots and lots of rope. He writes things out, then has me proof it, correcting the errors for him.

No, I don't make fun of him, because I really don't know his background. This particular part of his problem could be because he wasn't correctly taught, and just passed on to the next grade. They do that, you know.

His spelling is as bad as his grammar, but we won't even go into that.

OK, here's the main reason I started this thread. I couldn't hold it in any longer, and I just HAD to tell somebody.

Are you ready? Are you sitting down? I'm not kidding...


First, this guy actually thought the Mississippi River flows NORTH!

And, we were talking about those little packets of ketchup and sauce, you know? But, I think he was trying to sound educated or something. Anyway, he started talking and when he got to this spot where he wanted to say what these ketchup and sauce packets were...are you ready?

He called them condominiums. I didn't even attempt to correct him. I also kept a straight face.

OK, I don't usually make fun of people, but this place I work is FULL of these people. What has happened to the world, people? Come on, now. Talk about dumb and dumber!

OK, my rant is over now.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Basically, if you are working for someone else, that means that they have the power over you. This means that they are superior to you, as much as that fact might irk you. If you were superior to them, YOU would be calling the shots, no?? No??

So you're out of school and looking for work. As an employer, I'm going to give you some insight and tips that you will find invaluable.
1) Your college education has not prepared you ONE BIT for life in the real world. But don't fret about that, no one else's college education prepared THEM, either.

2) IF I hire you, I'm going to hire you because of what I feel YOU can do for ME, not the other way around. On a day to day basis, we act like family because it makes things pleasant for everyone. Don't mistake that for a welfare program. I didn't start this company just so I could employ a lot of people. I did it to MAKE MONEY. Ninety (90%) percent of small businesses fail within the first two years. When they fail, all the investment of time, energy and money are lost. The employees may go on to other jobs, but I'd have been here for a year or more picking up the pieces. I took a huge risk that you never took, so unless you were here on day one and put a second mortgage on your house, betting that you could make it where other people had failed, don't ever assume that you and I are equals.

3) I have something in mind for you to do. I think it's a match of my needs and your capabilities, but that's just the plan - things change. Regardless of what you were hired to do, I expect you to do any job that I give you to do. If I tell you to do something illegal, please feel free to decline and if I fire you, you may sue me - that will be my punishment for being stupid. If I ask you to do something that is legal but violates your conscience, please feel free to let me know just before you clean out your desk and look for another job. Otherwise, I expect to see your humping ass and flailing elbows getting my task done.

4) Let us not forget that just like me, you're here for the money, too. It's reasonable to expect to see my appreciation for a job well done, but always keep in mind that you're REAL thanks is delivered each Friday by the folks from Payroll.

5) You CAN be fired. Your Boss is the one that can get you a raise by asking perhaps one or two people, and who can fire you without asking anyone. The best way for you to have job security is to make him or her look good in my eyes. Fastest way to get canned is to make their performance suffer.

6) You don't own your job - I do. As a free person in the USA, you can quit any time you like. I can't force you to stay - or even give notice. Likewise, if I decide to let you go ... but I've paid you for your time worked, we're even.

7) There will be days when this appears to be a hostile workplace. Take it in stride. LIFE is sometimes hostile to all of us and you won't like all the jobs you have to do. Lord knows I don't like all the jobs I have to do, either.

8) No, you may NOT start with your two weeks paid vacation. The job title 'King' is already taken.

9) Please don't think that Insurance, Vacations, sick leave etc. are free. They have to be paid for and it comes from the same pile of money. I pay the money for those OUT OF the money that I make, part of which is the money I PAID you to help me make. If I commit them to you, use them in good health (except sick leave) but don't tell me that employers owe that.

10) When it's time for you to ask for a raise, be prepared to tell me what I've gotten from you over and above our original agreement (which was I pay, you work). Show me the VALUE of paying you more and I'll GLADLY pay the extra. If you can't ... ask yourself why I should do it anyway.

11) Don't think that I owe you overtime, either. Yes, the government says that I have to and I do, but remember - you don't work 1.5 times more or produce 1.5 times as much during that extra hour. That extra comes out of money I'd hope to set aside for something else, like raises or expansion. Maybe it has to come from my son's college fund, which I set up because I have greater hopes for HIM than what has befallen me.

12) I'll know all of your problems because you'll be in my office regularly telling me about them. You'll only know a fraction of mine ... and be thankful for that - the ones you don't know would curl your hair.

13) If you're ever in a bad jam, tell me. I might be able to help. Having said that, the reason they call them 'personal problems' is because they're YOUR problems, not mine. Generally, if you can't handle your personal life, I'll be hesitant to let you handle part of my life (and yes, this business IS my life).

14) Some day, you may start your own business. Just remember that if you do, you'll have employees that treat YOU the way you'll be treating ME. THINK about that. A LOT.

Got all that ? Ok, you've got the job! You can start by sweeping the floor.

Oh, wait, I forgot, you have a college degree.

"Son, this here is called a BROOM. This end is called the HANDLE and that end is called ........"

From
The Megapig Site . Enjoy.

 

[Aeroil]

hmm, I didn't know the missippi river flows north but then again I hate geography and I live in canada, and I know virtually nothing of the US terrain. condominiums eh? he meant condiments no doubt. hehehe, yes I understand, I've had incompetent teachers before and I'm surrounded by idiotic students which do many, many things of the nature which you've been describing, worse still they ask me for help, me being "The smart kid". In short, I know exactly how frustrating that is, usually I just try to politely correct them because if I try to keep quiet I get pissed. Still, as often as not I'm told to shut up, but I don't mind.

 

[TigerClaw]

......

 

[TigerClaw]

......

 

[Netzach]

I definitely relate to everything posted there.

This is why I am a struggling uninsured but optimistic eternally self-employed lunatic.

My only fear -- that I will have to work for someone else again someday. I'll do almost anything to see it never happens again.

 

[Netzach]

Basically, if you are working for someone else, that means that they have the power over you. This means that they are superior to you, as much as that fact might irk you. If you were superior to them, YOU would be calling the shots, no?? No??

Not really.


12) I'll know all of your problems because you'll be in my office regularly telling me about them. You'll only know a fraction of mine ... and be thankful for that - the ones you don't know would curl your hair.

And this is the only one that I'd say is utter unrepentant bullshit. I've worked for immature fuckwits whose lives I know inside and out who never knew more than a whiff of mine. Again and again. I knew every time their kids took a runny poo so they "had to run!" I knew every insecurity and business related moment of angst, it was not a pretty point of view for an employee. If I ask for more money and you have to say no, do not fucking insult me by telling me 100 excuses why. Do not act like I am breaking off a marriage when I then quit.

 

[Guest]

Basically, if you are working for someone else, that means that they have the power over you. This means that they are superior to you, as much as that fact might irk you. If you were superior to them, YOU would be calling the shots, no?? No??

So you're out of school and looking for work. As an employer, I'm going to give you some insight and tips that you will find invaluable.
1) Your college education has not prepared you ONE BIT for life in the real world. But don't fret about that, no one else's college education prepared THEM, either.

2) IF I hire you, I'm going to hire you because of what I feel YOU can do for ME, not the other way around. On a day to day basis, we act like family because it makes things pleasant for everyone. Don't mistake that for a welfare program. I didn't start this company just so I could employ a lot of people. I did it to MAKE MONEY. Ninety (90%) percent of small businesses fail within the first two years. When they fail, all the investment of time, energy and money are lost. The employees may go on to other jobs, but I'd have been here for a year or more picking up the pieces. I took a huge risk that you never took, so unless you were here on day one and put a second mortgage on your house, betting that you could make it where other people had failed, don't ever assume that you and I are equals.

3) I have something in mind for you to do. I think it's a match of my needs and your capabilities, but that's just the plan - things change. Regardless of what you were hired to do, I expect you to do any job that I give you to do. If I tell you to do something illegal, please feel free to decline and if I fire you, you may sue me - that will be my punishment for being stupid. If I ask you to do something that is legal but violates your conscience, please feel free to let me know just before you clean out your desk and look for another job. Otherwise, I expect to see your humping ass and flailing elbows getting my task done.

4) Let us not forget that just like me, you're here for the money, too. It's reasonable to expect to see my appreciation for a job well done, but always keep in mind that you're REAL thanks is delivered each Friday by the folks from Payroll.

5) You CAN be fired. Your Boss is the one that can get you a raise by asking perhaps one or two people, and who can fire you without asking anyone. The best way for you to have job security is to make him or her look good in my eyes. Fastest way to get canned is to make their performance suffer.

6) You don't own your job - I do. As a free person in the USA, you can quit any time you like. I can't force you to stay - or even give notice. Likewise, if I decide to let you go ... but I've paid you for your time worked, we're even.

7) There will be days when this appears to be a hostile workplace. Take it in stride. LIFE is sometimes hostile to all of us and you won't like all the jobs you have to do. Lord knows I don't like all the jobs I have to do, either.

8) No, you may NOT start with your two weeks paid vacation. The job title 'King' is already taken.

9) Please don't think that Insurance, Vacations, sick leave etc. are free. They have to be paid for and it comes from the same pile of money. I pay the money for those OUT OF the money that I make, part of which is the money I PAID you to help me make. If I commit them to you, use them in good health (except sick leave) but don't tell me that employers owe that.

10) When it's time for you to ask for a raise, be prepared to tell me what I've gotten from you over and above our original agreement (which was I pay, you work). Show me the VALUE of paying you more and I'll GLADLY pay the extra. If you can't ... ask yourself why I should do it anyway.

11) Don't think that I owe you overtime, either. Yes, the government says that I have to and I do, but remember - you don't work 1.5 times more or produce 1.5 times as much during that extra hour. That extra comes out of money I'd hope to set aside for something else, like raises or expansion. Maybe it has to come from my son's college fund, which I set up because I have greater hopes for HIM than what has befallen me.

12) I'll know all of your problems because you'll be in my office regularly telling me about them. You'll only know a fraction of mine ... and be thankful for that - the ones you don't know would curl your hair.

13) If you're ever in a bad jam, tell me. I might be able to help. Having said that, the reason they call them 'personal problems' is because they're YOUR problems, not mine. Generally, if you can't handle your personal life, I'll be hesitant to let you handle part of my life (and yes, this business IS my life).

14) Some day, you may start your own business. Just remember that if you do, you'll have employees that treat YOU the way you'll be treating ME. THINK about that. A LOT.

Got all that ? Ok, you've got the job! You can start by sweeping the floor.

Oh, wait, I forgot, you have a college degree.

"Son, this here is called a BROOM. This end is called the HANDLE and that end is called ........"

From
The Megapig Site . Enjoy.

(this is NOT directed at Rosco BTW)

Yes..and No...
One, it's called a job...It's not supposed to be Disneyfuckingland..Or you would want me to pay you..Instead, You pay me, for my time, and my skill..
Two...You work to live..Not the other way around..
As soon as we forget that then the boss has you by the balls..
I get paid overtime, well, one because the law demands it, but mainly because you are taking MY time. Which is valuable to me. More valuable to me than your time is..to me.

We sometimes forget that there are really only two commodities..
Time...And skill...
Everything else is a byproduct of the two things you are actually selling.
*Grin* no one ever believes that. Because it is INCONVENIENT.
It is INCONVENIENT for the employer to recognize that the time of the employee is a valuable commodity... But of course it is..Shit..You pay them for it every week.
If I have to work overtime of COURSE I'm going to get paid extra for it.. That is time that is being taken from me..and in many cases from families..
TIME ISN'T FREE...
It is a non renewable resource...
I've watched immensly skilled people, bow up, and quit jobs. Go to work doing something less temporally demanding.. Because they wanted to get out of the "mandatory overtime" bullshit. And thats what it is..bullshit.
I've also watched small companies driven to the edge of closing because they tried to do that to employees.. Just left one myself as a matter of fact.
When I left, I was manager of a Dept. Because I had been there longer than anyone else, the owner started thinking he could treat me like shit and I wouldn't leave. (ooops. Wrong answer)(course I had stayed through a %250 personel change in less than five years)
ANd as management .. I can tell you..MOST, of the overtime worked was purely due to bad scheduling and planning.
Well...and one other thing...If the owner wants to run off to do things that don't have anything with HIS business. During business time. Don't nobody expect me NOT to charge him all the market will bear for my time.
If he doesn't like that, he is free to replace me. As a matter of fact, he is struggling to do so right now. It will take him about 2 years to train someone to do about half the things I used to do when I started there. I say about, because he doesn't know himself how to do some of those things.
Time and skill...All the other shit is a byproduct of those two.

 

[TigerClaw]

......

 

[Guest]

I get paid overtime, well, one because the law demands it, but mainly because you are taking MY time. Which is valuable to me. More valuable to me than your time is..to me.

This is Key. Laws are changing taking over time away from people. Also companies in the last 25 years have been converting hourly jobs into salary to aviod paying overtime. Now, you are required to work as many hours as it takes to get the job done. If you get the job done in 40 hours they throw more work at you.

PS, as Rosco indicatest that quote is from another site. Whether it is his view or not I am not sure but I felt compelled to remind people we do have the right to say no.

But it is happening in an odd way..

Check out the case of the Fed Gov..Versus (of all people) Roto Rooter.

It has great bearing on the overtime issue..But essentially what it says is that salary is no excuse for not paying for time worked.

 

[TigerClaw]

......

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[Guest]

May I add to your rant?

Just because I am subordinant to you doesn't mean it's smart to ignore my suggestions.

The owner of my coffee shop regularly- as in almost daily- will rant in front of customers about how expensive it is to run the shop. He'll also bitch and moan that on Friday nights all the goth/skater kids come in. They feel comfortable in our shop. Out of a crowd of 30-40 kids, maybe 15 or 20 will buy something. This morning he was ranting away over how it costs him money to run the electricity/staff the shop/etc to keep his store open and they don't spend enough money. He's throwing a tantrum about this right in front of the cash register. At 9am. On a business day. With customers walking in and out getting a drink on their way to work.

So I calmly walked around the bar, put my hand on his shoulder and quietly said "R___, this is an inappropriate conversation to be having in the front of the shop. It needs to happen in the office, not in front of customers." He looked at me like I was nuts and told me if I owned the place I'd be doing the exact same thing. Ummm... no. If I want my business to thrive I'm sure as hell not going to expose my customers to my financial stress. As far as they are concerned the shop should look abundantly prosperous, healthy, and thriving. I've told him to stop bitching in front of customers, the General Manager (his daughter) has told him, the night manager has told him. teh day manager has told him, the kitchen manager (his son) has told him, his wife has told him. But his attitude is that he OWNES the store so he can say what he wants when he wants. Stupid ass.

*Grin* Sorry Luv but I can't help but laugh a bit ..Too much experience with coffee shop owners..
They tend to be a bit...."Special".
(And smart people always make them pay up front)

 

[oddity83]

Last job I work I had at one piont 12 bosses. I was the company bitch. I filled propane, loaded and unloaded trucks, pulled orders,, did qualitty control, packed UPS orders, wrapped pallets, did the driving for parts and drop off, took the CEOs car to get it washed took the secretary home one day, (never did ask why) douple checked orders, and few other odd jobs. I left with a one week notice. management was worried sick, the guys in th warehouse where laughing and clapping. We all wanted out. The owner of the company was a dick. But for 8 bucks an hour he got a ot more than paid for outta me.

 

[TigerClaw]

......

......

 

[h_i_s]

My boss is intelligent perhaps yet is NOT wise by any means. She owns two franchises of a VERY popular, international Hair Salon chain, yet can't seem to abide by a few very common labor laws. She holds 'mandatory' meetings yet does not pay her employees for time spent in these meetings. Workers are expected to show up for work, and set up at least 15 minutes prior to their shifts, yet she does not pay them for those 15 minutes. There are assigned 'chores' at the end employee's shift that are also mandatory, and she has instructed her managers to remind employees to clock out PRIOR to completeing those chores. Massachusetts' labor laws dictate that employees must be paid for ANY time spent which involves any actual form of work activity. She is in for one major law suit if she doesn't smarten up soon. Unfortunately, there is only myself and one other out of the 20 employees who are actually aware of thier rights as employees, and i NEED my job to pay the bills. i know i should report her cheating ass, and one day i'll have had enough of her taking advantage... i just can't afford to report her at this time.

During an informal discussion among myself and a few of the other employees, i informed some of the other's of their rights, and her law breaking practices (and was able to do so in a non threatening manner, just to get the info out to others) and made sure a manager heard. Suddenly we are told to STAY clocked in to complete chores. It's a start, at least.

< end >RANT< /end >

¸,ø¤º°sinn0cent1°º¤ø,¸ (proudly owned by, and devoted to INSIDEYOURMIND)

 

[Netzach]

You would have a very good lawsuit if it came to that. I worked in a big box store that, as horrible as management was, would absolutely freak the hell out if you clocked out and didn't leave the floor.

basically if you get injured on the job in that clocked out time, you could pursue options other than workman's comp, it would be like a customer being injured on the premises. It's a dumb way for her to try and save money, as I understand the law.

 

[D's mariposa]

I'd say my immediate supes at Hades Air were on par with me as far as brains go. The suits on the corporate level, though. Good God! They wouldn't have lasted a day on the phones. I am SO glad I'm out of there! If that particular carrier manages to stave off the impending self destruction long enough, it might survive if some of the others go under first. But with the crapola that was coming down from headquarters when I left, I'll be surprised if it does.

You know, I didn't even mind that the suits were clueless. The problem was, the reservations people, the counter people the flight attendants were saying "here's where we're at. This is how our customers feel. Maybe we should try it this way instead of that way." But they didn't listen to us! When the people who are interfacing with the customers are saying "Houston, we have a problem." it's in the corporation's best interest to SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN! And now, I see them implementing some of the very strategies we'd been pushing for over a year! I'm thinking it's too little, too late and it's too damn bad cause a lot of my friends and loved ones are tied up with this carrier and they're going to get screwed in the end.

 

[DVS]

My boss is intelligent perhaps yet is NOT wise by any means. She owns two franchises of a VERY popular, international Hair Salon chain, yet can't seem to abide by a few very common labor laws. She holds 'mandatory' meetings yet does not pay her employees for time spent in these meetings. Workers are expected to show up for work, and set up at least 15 minutes prior to their shifts, yet she does not pay them for those 15 minutes. There are assigned 'chores' at the end employee's shift that are also mandatory, and she has instructed her managers to remind employees to clock out PRIOR to completeing those chores. Massachusetts' labor laws dictate that employees must be paid for ANY time spent which involves any actual form of work activity. She is in for one major law suit if she doesn't smarten up soon. Unfortunately, there is only myself and one other out of the 20 employees who are actually aware of thier rights as employees, and i NEED my job to pay the bills. i know i should report her cheating ass, and one day i'll have had enough of her taking advantage... i just can't afford to report her at this time.

During an informal discussion among myself and a few of the other employees, i informed some of the other's of their rights, and her law breaking practices (and was able to do so in a non threatening manner, just to get the info out to others) and made sure a manager heard. Suddenly we are told to STAY clocked in to complete chores. It's a start, at least.

< end >RANT< /end >

¸,ø¤º°sinn0cent1°º¤ø,¸ (proudly owned by, and devoted to INSIDEYOURMIND)

I started this thread, I guess I should participate in it, too.

She is in for a major law suit, if she doesn't staighten up. And, I'm not so sure the pay out would not also include back wages. A class action suit could put her out of business and maybe in jail if it was proven she did this on purpose.

You should get on the U. S. department of labor web site and print the laws out...make copies and place them around so other employees can see them. You could even go as far as highlighting the pertinent areas.

Where I work, we don't even get a lunch. We don't get breaks, and we aren't allowed to eat or drink while working. We work in 8 hour shifts, and because it's security, we need someone else to relieve us, if we need to go to the bathroom.

They tried to force us to come to work 15 minutes early, in case the shift being relieved needed to update us on any situations. But, because they won't pay us for that time, they no longer try it.

They don't pay very well, and because of that, the people I work with aren't the brightest bulbs around. But, after 9-11, they need more intelligent people, so their old management ways are just that...old.

Sometimes management depends on the employee not knowing their rights. Then, they can just play dumb and get out of it, when brought to their attention.

WORKERS UNITE!!!! DON'T LET "THE MAN" GET THE BETTER OF YOU!!

 

[Guest]

My boss is intelligent perhaps yet is NOT wise by any means. She owns two franchises of a VERY popular, international Hair Salon chain, yet can't seem to abide by a few very common labor laws. She holds 'mandatory' meetings yet does not pay her employees for time spent in these meetings. Workers are expected to show up for work, and set up at least 15 minutes prior to their shifts, yet she does not pay them for those 15 minutes. There are assigned 'chores' at the end employee's shift that are also mandatory, and she has instructed her managers to remind employees to clock out PRIOR to completeing those chores. Massachusetts' labor laws dictate that employees must be paid for ANY time spent which involves any actual form of work activity. She is in for one major law suit if she doesn't smarten up soon. Unfortunately, there is only myself and one other out of the 20 employees who are actually aware of thier rights as employees, and i NEED my job to pay the bills. i know i should report her cheating ass, and one day i'll have had enough of her taking advantage... i just can't afford to report her at this time.

During an informal discussion among myself and a few of the other employees, i informed some of the other's of their rights, and her law breaking practices (and was able to do so in a non threatening manner, just to get the info out to others) and made sure a manager heard. Suddenly we are told to STAY clocked in to complete chores. It's a start, at least.

< end >RANT< /end >



¸,ø¤º°sinn0cent1°º¤ø,¸ (proudly owned by, and devoted to INSIDEYOURMIND)

Bugger that..She just ran afoul of FEDERAL labor law...Hell, even walmart (the spawn of satan) lost that one.

 

[sincerely_helene]

He called them condominiums. I didn't even attempt to correct him. I also kept a straight face.

I can't help but wonder if he asks the pharmacy clerk where they keep the condiments and tells people he lives in a condom.

 

[DVS]

Re: Re: Smarter than you boss? I mean REALLY smarter?

I can't help but wonder if he asks the pharmacy clerk where they keep the condiments and tells people he lives in a condom.