Smart Man?

[MaeveoSliabh]

This was written by a guy... it's pretty damn smart. Girls -- Have a sense of humor!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

 

[Stella_Omega]

She needs to find herself a metrosexual

 

[3113]

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

Guess it depends on your sense of humor. I didn't find it funny at all. All I thought was...you'll find her smarter when she takes you for all you're worth in the divorce

 

[MaeveoSliabh]

Guess it depends on your sense of humor. I didn't find it funny at all. All I thought was...you'll find her smarter when she takes you for all you're worth in the divorce

Having been on the receiving end of that type of attitude from girls more than once... I find it funny as just about anything. But that's just me.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Guess it depends on your sense of humor. I didn't find it funny at all. All I thought was...you'll find her smarter when she takes you for all you're worth in the divorce

Nah., I see the point, but that relationship was rocky from the get-go, honestly. She needs more than just her sorority sisters' advice on how to get her guy to open up to her-- when you're getting hot and heavy isn't it. That's dishonest, and definitely counter-productive.

Likewise, the young man who decides to make a finances congruent with love-- well.
He feels that her sexual favors are a commodity. If that's the way they see both it, no wonder they're not getting straight with each other....

 

[TheeGoatPig]

Guess it depends on your sense of humor. I didn't find it funny at all. All I thought was...you'll find her smarter when she takes you for all you're worth in the divorce

Girlfriend, not wife. No divorce required.

And it's time for a clean break. That relationship is a goner.

 

[Lee Chambers]

This man is my hero.

 

[angela146]

It's so comical for me to see relationships where the man's sex drive is higher than the woman's.

I suppose I will be there in another ten years.

 

[S-Des]

This man is my hero.

Have to agree with you there (even though I suppose it'll be longer than a night he's sleeping by himself).

 

[BlackShanglan]

I find this oddly depressing. But then, I've seen a number of good things go sour because people insisted on reading manipulative deliberation into sincerely felt emotional impulses - myself not least. Now when I hear someone self-righteously attacking a partner for "playing games," I tend to look first at the speaker. Freud had some points on the topic of projection.

 

[Recidiva]

Not smart so much as vengeful. And not too bright in choosing his girlfriend.

Fortunately I don't have to hang around either of them.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Not smart so much as vengeful.

Yes, I think that's the nub of it. He's not trying to solve a problem; he's just punishing someone for not giving him what he wants.

 

[Ravishing]

I find this oddly depressing. But then, I've seen a number of good things go sour because people insisted on reading manipulative deliberation into sincerely felt emotional impulses - myself not least. Now when I hear someone self-righteously attacking a partner for "playing games," I tend to look first at the speaker. Freud had some points on the topic of projection.

After thinking back on things I've seen friends of mine do to those they were with; I'd have to say I agree. Having been the one who'd talk to those lost souls that they walked over. Well. Depressing in reading this, doesn't even start to say it..

 

[Recidiva]

Yes, I think that's the nub of it. He's not trying to solve a problem; he's just punishing someone for not giving him what he wants.

Once you've progressed to "teaching someone a lesson" you no longer consider yourselves peers. Probably never did. If you can't work it out with some patience and communication, and possibly masturbation, I don't hold out much hope. Learning is something you have to be willing to do before you undertake the task of teaching.

I'm sympathetic to the gap of genders and frustration, but I don't think starting out saying "I've never got how women think with their heart" mostly means "I don't get it" and then heads quickly toward "I'm gonna think with my head, I'm smarter than that bitch."

I don't think she's too bright for teasing the hell out of someone and thinking that's going to turn out all that well. If you're to the point of turning down sex with your partner (after it gets hot and heavy) find a new one. Hell, be alone for a little while until you learn to appreciate someone else's company and not be insulting.

 

[BlackShanglan]

I don't think she's too bright for teasing the hell out of someone and thinking that's going to turn out all that well. If you're to the point of turning down sex with your partner (after it gets hot and heavy) find a new one. Hell, be alone for a little while until you learn to appreciate someone else's company and not be insulting.

Even there, though, I wondered at the motivation read into the actions of a person who enters into an approach to sex but then retreats. Should she not have attempted it at all? That doesn't seem likely to lead in any better direction. Joined with that "teaching a lesson" perspective on the speaker's part seems to be an assumption that her actions are centered on their effect on him - that she chooses her moment in order to tease and irritate him, and that his perception of the events must be central to her actions as well. That's often simply not the case. When I'm rabbiting on excitedly about a story I'm working on and the SO has to gently remind me that some of us (the SO) have just finished a 12-hour work day, the timing isn't ideal - but it really is based on the SO's exhaustion and not the SO's malicious anticipation of my disappointment. Why look for malice when there are so many other answers - unless one wishes an excuse to be malicious in return?

 

[Recidiva]

Even there, though, I wondered at the motivation read into the actions of a person who enters into an approach to sex but then retreats. Should she not have attempted it at all? That doesn't seem likely to lead in any better direction. Joined with that "teaching a lesson" perspective on the speaker's part seems to be an assumption that her actions are centered on their effect on him - that she chooses her moment in order to tease and irritate him, and that his perception of the events must be central to her actions as well. That's often simply not the case. When I'm rabbiting on excitedly about a story I'm working on and the SO has to gently remind me that some of us (the SO) have just finished a 12-hour work day, the timing isn't ideal - but it really is based on the SO's exhaustion and not the SO's malicious anticipation of my disappointment. Why look for malice when there are so many other answers - unless one wishes an excuse to be malicious in return?

It's possible her upset was genuine and not an attempt at manipulation.

Maybe it's my sense of sexual manners. Do not get someone excited and then back out. It's just rude. Take one for the team?

But as for emotional involvement, I also think you have to invest emotion in order to get some back. In her case, if the next day she's out on a buying spree on his dime (another thing I think is rude) again, not too bright.

The sense of entitlement is strong with them. Entitlement is sorta like the force, only, not.

 

[Guest]

I also have to wonder about the phrase "things started to get passionate."

For whom?

Honestly, if my husband and I spoon at night, sex is inevitable, unless I immediately say - I'm beat - I'm sorry - and we laugh and make arrangements for the next possible time. (On occasion he's said it as well.)

Snuggling close at night generally leads to sex.

Maybe they snuggled. Perhaps it was just a goodnight hug and kiss, then he took that to mean "Let's fuck." while she was thinking - "Goodnight."

At any rate, their communication stinks, and his actions were childish and very vengeful, as has already been mentioned. And if she led him on before stopping him cold, hers were as well.

Depressing couple. They probably treat their friends and acquaintances in the same manipulative manner.

 

[Huckleman2000]

Interesting psychoanalysis, but I think this was just one of those "e-mail stories", not a real couple. The modern equivalent of Reader's Digest submissions.

 

[Guest]

Interesting psychoanalysis, but I think this was just one of those "e-mail stories", not a real couple. The modern equivalent of Reader's Digest submissions.

Nahhh, they're real.

I think they live near us - just the next street over.

 

[Edward Teach]

That gal is so gonna be fucking someone else. Did it give an address?

 

[BlackShanglan]

That gal is so gonna be fucking someone else. Did it give an address?

*laugh* There's that, too - if you're doing it right, it's supposed to be fun. People don't normally avoid fun. Maybe someone needs a manual - or a pinch-hitter.

 

[S-Des]

Interesting psychoanalysis, but I think this was just one of those "e-mail stories", not a real couple. The modern equivalent of Reader's Digest submissions.

I've been reading the comments about people who are concerned with this couple's problems, and have been wondering if they were also worried about the poor Nigerian General who doesn't have any place to store his millions.

 

[BlackShanglan]

I've been reading the comments about people who are concerned with this couple's problems, and have been wondering if they were also worried about the poor Nigerian General who doesn't have any place to store his millions.

Heavens, no. But jokes, like other stories, do tell us about people's underlying attitudes and perspectives. I've enjoyed the discussion.

 

[JamesSD]

Wait, there are actually relationships that "work" that disfuncitonally?

Guess I'm just lucky/smart that I've never dated a woman for more than a couple months that wasn't inclined to repond "hell yeah!" to the question "wanna do it?"

 

[Stella_Omega]

I've been reading the comments about people who are concerned with this couple's problems, and have been wondering if they were also worried about the poor Nigerian General who doesn't have any place to store his millions.

Yes, I stay up nights worrying about him!