Slow Dancing

[dr_mabeuse]

When we were in grammar school we had to learn to slow dance and it was agony - a total embarrassment. It wasn't till many years later that I realized what the real purpose of slow dancing was: to hold a woman in your ams and move your body against hers in a way that was socially acceptable and yet as intimate as you wanted it to be. A vertical expression of a horizontal desire, as they say.

Since then I find myself using dacning as a device in a lot of stories. I like the sensuality of thighs slowly rubbing together; the woman's hand caressing the back of the man's neck, his hand sliding down to the top of her ass; their eyes locked together gauging each other's reactions, or looking away so they can explore each other in private. And all this done in the midst of a crowd of strangers oblivious to the drama going on right in front of them.

Inevitably there comes the moment of truth that I wanted to ask about though. If the dance is good (and often even if it's not) the man's going to start getting hard, and the woman's going to feel it.

My question is: what's your reaction in such a situation, men and women both? Do you pull back and try to avoid it? Is it embarrassing? Or is it a compliment or something to be shown off?

And of course, for men, there's the age old question: how do you exit the dance floor with that thing in your pants? The old hand in the pocket trick? Or following close behind the girl?

 

[Honey123]

Inevitably there comes the moment of truth that I wanted to ask about though. If the dance is good (and often even if it's not) the man's going to start getting hard, and the woman's going to feel it.

Well, I wouldn't be dancing that close to a man, unless I was completely attracted to him and wanted my body touching his, getting a reaction.

My question is: what's your reaction in such a situation, men and women both? Do you pull back and try to avoid it? Is it embarrassing? Or is it a compliment or something to be shown off?

I would not pull back. Like I said above, I would only be in that close proximaty because I wanted him to feel my body against his. My hips would be swaying deliberately to get his "attention" and I would only consider it a compliment.

Not only would I be moving my body against his sexually, I would be playing with his hair and keeping my face close to his so he could feel my breath against his neck.....

 

[3113]

When we were in grammar school we had to learn to slow dance and it was agony

My God, you're old....

Sorry. Couldn't resist.

Though there have been a lot of different types of dances for different purposes (sword dances, celebratory dances, dances to worship the divine, etc), as in all cultures, in the West dance comes down pretty much to a mating ritual. From the 18th century on, as Jane Austen will attest, it's been the primary way for young men and woman to touch and get close to each other.

The sad state of dancing and being able to dance is all due to the ease with which a man and a woman can now interact. We need to get back to chaperones and no touching except on the dance floor. That'll bring back the art of dance pretty fast.

I don't know about slow dancing, but just about every other type of current dancing is all about rubbing bodies together. That's the whole point. Often, there's no subtilty at all. The guy bumps and grinds his hips up against the woman's behind, glides his hands up and down her body--they might as well be given a condom.

And if you think the strangers around such couples are oblivious to the drama--be it slow dancing or bump-and-grind...well, those involved in their own drama will be. Others, who aren't into their partners, who are bored and are looking around will notice.

As for this troubling situation if the woman doesn't know the man and isn't attracted to him, then the guy is in REAL trouble. But if she is attracted and into the guy, she might well help him off the dance floor...and to the cloak room or other secluded place.

Otherwise, he'd better start thinking of something else double quick. Complex math problems?

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Depends, Dr. M. If this was a guy I was really attracted too I'd smile and lead him out of the joint for someplace private. If I wasn't particularly attracted he just wouldn't get that close.

JJ

 

[impressive]

Inevitably there comes the moment of truth that I wanted to ask about though. If the dance is good (and often even if it's not) the man's going to start getting hard, and the woman's going to feel it.

My question is: what's your reaction in such a situation, men and women both? Do you pull back and try to avoid it? Is it embarrassing? Or is it a compliment or something to be shown off?

My reaction? If it DOESN'T happen, then I'm doing something wrong. I wouldn't be dancing that close to someone I didn't want to arouse.

 

[cloudy]

My reaction? If it DOESN'T happen, then I'm doing something wrong. I wouldn't be dancing that close to someone I didn't want to arouse.

Yes.

 

[bashfull]

Pardon me for intruding...

...but as I was reading over the responses, I feel compelled to ask


Any ladies wanna dance?



Bash

 

[Remec]

My question is: what's your reaction in such a situation, men and women both? Do you pull back and try to avoid it? Is it embarrassing? Or is it a compliment or something to be shown off?

And of course, for men, there's the age old question: how do you exit the dance floor with that thing in your pants? The old hand in the pocket trick? Or following close behind the girl?

The reaction sort of depends on whom I'm dancing with and whether they respond/react to it before I do. In college, I once had a girl jump totally away and act like I'd practically violated her on the dance floor. But, I also had someone I'd gotten to know just a bit snuggle up close to me and almost knock me over in her enthusiasm when I decided to go for a kiss middance.

As for the afterword, if we break and another slow song comes on, then I'll try and rely on the dark, my proximity to her, and a shift to my usual stride to hide--things *g* If a faster song comes up, with the usual rise in the lights, then I just slip off the dance floor that much faster, or try and get her to dance the fast one with me and let the distance and the up tempo soften things up enough to not register to the bystanders.

 

[SummerMorning]

Depends on the girl, depends on the dance ... I've had girls react as though I wanted something with them, even if I was "just" dancing ... so a lot of what Honey said. Women slow dance when they - usually - want something. In other cases they might be surprised.

 

[CharleyH]

When we were in grammar school we had to learn to slow dance and it was agony - a total embarrassment. It wasn't till many years later that I realized what the real purpose of slow dancing was: to hold a woman in your ams and move your body against hers in a way that was socially acceptable and yet as intimate as you wanted it to be. A vertical expression of a horizontal desire, as they say.

Since then I find myself using dacning as a device in a lot of stories. I like the sensuality of thighs slowly rubbing together; the woman's hand caressing the back of the man's neck, his hand sliding down to the top of her ass; their eyes locked together gauging each other's reactions, or looking away so they can explore each other in private. And all this done in the midst of a crowd of strangers oblivious to the drama going on right in front of them.

Inevitably there comes the moment of truth that I wanted to ask about though. If the dance is good (and often even if it's not) the man's going to start getting hard, and the woman's going to feel it.

My question is: what's your reaction in such a situation, men and women both? Do you pull back and try to avoid it? Is it embarrassing? Or is it a compliment or something to be shown off?

And of course, for men, there's the age old question: how do you exit the dance floor with that thing in your pants? The old hand in the pocket trick? Or following close behind the girl?

In grade 8 I was too embarrassed to say anything, but certainly felt it. These days? It really depends on if I want the man or not. If I don't then I finish the dance with a word of thank you and a cheek kiss of acknowledgement that I was flattered by the hardness (its a hard thing to avoid) and if I do? I normally try to subtley brush against it as is humanly and teasingly possible. Unless I really want to tease him, then ... watch out!

 

[CharleyH]

My reaction? If it DOESN'T happen, then I'm doing something wrong. I wouldn't be dancing that close to someone I didn't want to arouse.

Hmf - tell that to your brothers grooms at weddings!

 

[Guest]

My reaction? If it DOESN'T happen, then I'm doing something wrong. I wouldn't be dancing that close to someone I didn't want to arouse.

Those first slow dances were breathless adventures, weren't they? Everything was awkward fumblings and clumsy steps. I didn't press that closely to my partners because of extreme shyness. If I'd felt male arousal I would have blushed myself off the dance floor.

Later it was more reciprocal. More eye contact, his hand on my neck and bare shoulders and sliding to the small of my back. That feeling of being safely enveloped inside strong arms and hard chest while moving to romantic music. With our thighs touching, it was impossible not to feel his aroused state but I would have known it anyway from the look in his eyes.

These days slow dancing is incredible foreplay for my husband and I. We're better at it, we know how to move together well and I consider it my solemn duty to rub against him until he has difficulty walking after our dance.

 

[yui]

I suppose I primarily view it as a biological reaction that a man can’t truly control. If I’m attracted, I’m not above a bit of bump and grind teasing; if I’m not attracted, I don’t make a big deal out of it unless he’s trying to get into my space and hump me … I simply do everything in my power to avoid encouraging him or his raging erection.

I’m not offended. I’m not turned on, or flattered, really, because I typically, if unjustly, think men can be aroused by someone they don’t particularly have any fondness for. It’s different for me. I don’t look at a hot guy and think, “Wow, I’d like to bump uglies with him;” however, I don’t know that men react the same way. Lust and true want are internal for me, I can want a “homely” guy I genuinely like quiet fiercely, and cheerfully pass over a “hot” guy I don’t.

If I want you, and you have an erection, then I’m going to encourage it with every sway of my hips while we’re dancing.

Disclaimer: Though, I’m ashamed to say, if I’ve had too much to drink, and I’m feeling wild and free and out of control, I might do it for the rush, the power, because when I’m a little high, then it’s easier to justify the unjustifiable, but it absolutely doesn’t mean I’m attracted to the guy in question.

 

[CharleyH]

I suppose I primarily view it as a biological reaction that a man can’t truly control. If I’m attracted, I’m not above a bit of bump and grind teasing; if I’m not attracted, I don’t make a big deal out of it unless he’s trying to get into my space and hump me … I simply do everything in my power to avoid encouraging him or his raging erection.

I’m not offended. I’m not turned on, or flattered, really, because I typically, if unjustly, think men can be aroused by someone they don’t particularly have any fondness for. It’s different for me. I don’t look at a hot guy and think, “Wow, I’d like to bump uglies with him;” however, I don’t know that men react the same way. Lust and true want are internal for me, I can want a “homely” guy I genuinely like quiet fiercely, and cheerfully pass over a “hot” guy I don’t.

If I want you, and you have an erection, then I’m going to encourage it with every sway of my hips while we’re dancing.

Disclaimer: Though, I’m ashamed to say, if I’ve had too much to drink, and I’m feeling wild and free and out of control, I might do it for the rush, the power, because when I’m a little high, then it’s easier to justify the unjustifiable, but it absolutely doesn’t mean I’m attracted to the guy in question.

You said it more succinctly than I, but I know I don't have to be high for that rush. Why can't you do it without imbibing? What has to be justified, exactly?

 

[CharleyH]

Just a small bump.

 

[impressive]

Hmf - tell that to your brothers grooms at weddings!

I don't dance THAT close to them. If they spring one anyway, that's their problem -- it is a hazard of dancing with me, even at arm's length.


SSS -- Hmm. I don't recall any awkwardness, but I've always been rather gung ho about it all.

 

[CharleyH]

I don't dance THAT close to them. If they spring one anyway, that's their problem -- it is a hazard of dancing with me, even at arm's length.


SSS -- Hmm. I don't recall any awkwardness, but I've always been rather gung ho about it all.

I doubt you are so cruel to those with a hard on, Imp - but if you don't get them dancing with men? No need to worry about it., love - we understand. You're a dyke!

 

[Trombonus]

I've never been to a dance. I avoided them like the plague in high school, and now that I'm in my mid-twenties and in college, dances are a thing of the past. I can't dance, period. I spasm a little, but you can't call anything I do dancing. I kinda want to learn, but don't have anyone to learn with. I know I'm going to make a complete fool of myself if I try to learn, but even so it's something I'd like to be able to do, especially if I can throw a little romantic evening of slow dancing with a gf somewhere down the line, if I get one. Not sure what to do about it though.