Slavegirls are usually petite, right?

[borntobetamed]

I have a mindset to be a submissive ( I think I do), sadly I don't have the physique for it. It's like when someone has a burning passion for dancing, but doesn't have the body for it.

Believe me when I say that I don't have weight issues, I do exercise regularly, was a dancer since I was 5 but gave it up for academic reasons, I am reasonably toned and I can run a not-so-embarrassing distance. I like my body and what it can do. 18 year-old girls often "hate" their body parts for being so and so, I was comfortable with mine. Of course there are always places for improvements, but I was comfortable with the way it is.

But it seems that in the D/s world, petite girls are the precious gems, being small is the ideal appearance of a submissive. And I have seen read and talked to quite a lot of Dominants out there, most specifically comment on how sexy a petite girl is. So please, don't consider this thread a compliment fishing pole, because that is not what it is. I really am serious and honest about this issue of mine.

I am starting to have image issues - something I have never had before. I'm not overly tall, but 5'8 isn't something that would be and can be considered "petite" either.

I envy tiny girls for being tiny and easily manhandled. If it was weight issues, anyone can lose weight, but I don't think losing height is possible for me (I'm not going to chop off my legs).

It is rather sad actually. I have little experience in the D/s world. But it is something that I really want, especially the pleasing a Master aspect, and being owned, being the pleasure of someone. But if I, myself alone, can't be a visual pleasure then what's the point.

So, please, wise people of the D/s world, are tiny girls more suitable as submissives? I will appreciate honesty more than encouragement like "every size is beautiful".

PS: Apology for any grammar mistakes or weird expressions. English is not my first language.

 

[marieR19]

Oh no no no no no. You've bought into a stereotype, sweetie.

Look around the threads here a bit, there are MANY of us "bigger" subs around here, in height or in weight. Being submissive is a state of mind, a state of being, and has *nothing* to do with your body type.

Of course some people will prefer certain body types, but that's all on them. And from experience I can say that there's really no shortage of people who either feel "bigger is better" or just don't care either way. (One of my exes, who was a bit of a sub herself, was fairly close to 6 feet. I loved it.)

 

[CrimsonDom]

My opinion

In my opinion it doesn't matter the size of the woman who wants to be submissive what truly matters is the mindset. My pet is about 5'5" roughly and 165 or 170 and i wouldn't trade her at all.

 

[knot_sweet]

As both a dancer and a switch, over 5ft 9in and 203 pounds, I can tell you truly that the most important aspect is your attitude. There are some lovely looking women at my dance studio but I've been told by more than one guy that when I move, they watch.

As for BDSM, there are some guys who get off on a big, strong woman willing to submit entirely to them. Knowing I could kick their arse yet drop to my knees for them just adds to their feeling of dominance. Sure, there are some things that I'll never be able to do... but what I'm willing to do and give more than makes up for the things I can't. After all, real life is not a porn movie.

Small is also a state of mind. You can make yourself feel small, or act small simply by turning off the "I'm here" vibe that most people have. Decrease your personality bubble. Be a receptor instead of a broadcaster if that makes sense?


Ignore the guys looking purely for tiny girls (there are always going to be guys that feel that way) and start looking for men who care more about your attitude. Submission is not an appearance, it's a state of being. And when you're being you, submissive you as best you can, then what's not beautiful or perfect about that?

 

[eastern sun]

The flip side of this statement would be "Dominant Men are usually big, right?"

I love the fact that I am taller than my husband (especially in heels), and still his slave. It actually turns people's heads on the street.

Unfortunately, in s&m clubs, the very same factor has often led submissive men to approach me as a Domme. We humans do pay attention to size differences.

But there are no rules except the ones you agree to.

 

[catalina_francisco]

As with anyone, submissives come in all shapes, sizes, genders, colours, religions. If someone tells you different, they are the ones locked into stereotypes and fantasy roles, and probably best avoided. Enjoy your journey and remember there is only one you, don't waste your time wishing you were someone else.

Catalina

 

[Netzach]

No, often they are 6'4'', actually. And need re-shaving.

You can do whatever floats your boat.

 

[Tryharder62]

I am a big girl and I think you will find if you get more into the lifestyle you will have a good reception. Dom/Sub is about more than the body. It is about the mind and soul connection to. Just be yourself.

 

[KoPilot]

S-type taller than the d-type husband also.

I have a lot of hangups about my height for non-D/s reasons (macrophilia being... well, all of them) but when you're tied up on the bed, it really doesn't matter how tall you are when standing, amirite?

 

[Wide_eyed_Indulgence]

I agree with everything these nice folks have said about attitude and not buying into stereotypes. But if you still feel uncomfortable, just find yourself a big, hunky Dom.

 

[CutieMouse]

But it seems that in the D/s world, petite girls are the precious gems, being small is the ideal appearance of a submissive. And I have seen read and talked to quite a lot of Dominants out there, most specifically comment on how sexy a petite girl is. So please, don't consider this thread a compliment fishing pole, because that is not what it is. I really am serious and honest about this issue of mine.

I'm 5'8", as well; 6'[+] in heels. I remember feeling so awkward in college, because of my height. Even now (25 years later), I've had male friends tell me that I'm the sort of woman who is hard to approach, because men often assume a woman wouldn't want to be taller than her partner. (Thank you societal conditioning!)

I am starting to have image issues - something I have never had before. I'm not overly tall, but 5'8 isn't something that would be and can be considered "petite" either.

Guess what? Petite doesn't just mean short or small. It also means slender or trim. For example, I am a tall woman, but I have petite wrists. Women often describe me as smaller than I am, because of how I carry myself. They see tall, slender and narrow; I see an aging body that's lived a hell of a lot. LOL

I envy tiny girls for being tiny and easily manhandled. If it was weight issues, anyone can lose weight, but I don't think losing height is possible for me (I'm not going to chop off my legs).

I have been the tallest girl in school pictures since I was 4. I was taller than my teachers by the 4th grade. I was taller than my parents by then, too. The lover who was most easily able to throw me around/manhandle me? 1 1/2" shorter and about 30# lighter than myself. (Very strong/physically fit gentleman of Asian descent.) Do not fall into the size = X trap.

It is rather sad actually. I have little experience in the D/s world. But it is something that I really want, especially the pleasing a Master aspect, and being owned, being the pleasure of someone. But if I, myself alone, can't be a visual pleasure then what's the point.

You will be a visual, mental, emotional, physical, intellectual joy to whomever is right for you. And he (or she) will be the same, in return.

So, please, wise people of the D/s world, are tiny girls more suitable as submissives? I will appreciate honesty more than encouragement like "every size is beautiful".

Only in [sometimes poorly written] erotica.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Actually, you haven't talked to "a lot of dominants," you've talked to a "lot of men."

Of COURSE they will tell you all about their fantasy woman-- but trust me, most of them will take what they can get. Men have a habit of asking for the moon, just in case the woman happens to have it in her pocket. Doesn't mean she has to provide it to him.

On being a visual pleasure; Some men have an ideal in their heads that they consider perfection, and that they cannot shake. Those men may be very lonely most of their lives. Anyone who is that obsessive won't treat you like a pleasure, he'll treat you like a character in a book that he is writing. You are only important by way of how well you fit into his inner narrative.

When men are being totally honest-- except for a few who have perfection on the brain-- and you ask them what the most beautiful woman looks like, they will tell you; "She's naked, and she wants me."

Please, read the essay linked in my signature. There are other paths to pleasing someone-- paradoxically, you might find yourself becoming the owner...

 

[BabygirlRose]

Definitely not I know loads of slaves/subs/pets/babygirls/etc... who are anything but petite or tiny or anything like that. Being a sub is muucchh more than just the physical aspects. It's about the emotions, the mental connection, the trust, the willingness to completely submit (or be a brat just for fun). Hell, I am tiny (5'0") and sometimes that causes issues with doms/sexual partners because if they're over 6' and want a kiss while they're on top of me we have to contort to some odd position so that our faces are equal while he's still inside I envy your height. Enjoy it!

 

[midwestyankee]

Actually, you haven't talked to "a lot of dominants," you've talked to a "lot of men."

Of COURSE they will tell you all about their fantasy woman-- but trust me, most of them will take what they can get. Men have a habit of asking for the moon, just in case the woman happens to have it in her pocket. Doesn't mean she has to provide it to him.

On being a visual pleasure; Some men have an ideal in their heads that they consider perfection, and that they cannot shake. Those men may be very lonely most of their lives. Anyone who is that obsessive won't treat you like a pleasure, he'll treat you like a character in a book that he is writing. You are only important by way of how well you fit into his inner narrative.

When men are being totally honest-- except for a few who have perfection on the brain-- and you ask them what the most beautiful woman looks like, they will tell you; "She's naked, and she wants me."

Please, read the essay linked in my signature. There are other paths to pleasing someone-- paradoxically, you might find yourself becoming the owner...

There is much wisdom here. It's also worth remembering that the very best thing about our lovers' bodies is that they are attached to our lovers.

 

[Ahlam]

Au contraire

Hello! I am "Ahlam" and I happen to be a submissive woman of small stature. The male Doms I've played with have each wished that I was taller or a different size (both fatter and thinner), so I doubt that there is a truly consistent ideal body type. Rock what you got, sexy lady! People who don't like it can get bent. One of the best things about being 5'8'' is that clothes are more likely to fit. That's probably a lot of fun.

 

[Stella_Omega]

There is much wisdom here. It's also worth remembering that the very best thing about our lovers' bodies is that they are attached to our lovers.

*swoon*

 

[leighannste17]

It takes time to find the right Dom. I'm new to this type of world myself, but I'm pretty sure, Dom's are a lot different then most men or women. I met one a long time ago, that didn't ask me to be a certain height. We were just experimenting, and as luck would have it. The oral sex with him, was actually better then any other sex I had, with any of the men I've been with at all.

Just be patient, do your research. Be nosy, ask questions. And I'm sure you will learn stuff about it.

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

*swoon*

X2.

 

[Dyslexicea]

I can only speak for myself, I am submissive but I could never be full time D/s. Regardless I'm tall over 5'10", rather thin, if I wasn't so anal about my weight I'd weigh 10 lbs. more. Like CutieMouse I was self conscience about my height but unlike CutieMouse I do have a twin sister which I know made it easier. Yes when I dated boys it was a problem, which meant I dated older and taller boys, of course dating boys at all was a problem but I was the good Catholic girl trying to live up to the expectations of both my family and the church.

My wife is a little shorter than I am but that has nothing to do with her being Domme, as a matter of fact, at times she's a little to Domme, by which I mean if she had her way we'd be 24/7. Which is rather shocking to me as I was somewhat apprehensive about telling her of my desires.

I don't think your being 5'8" tall is going to deter most Doms, they aren't boys, from wanting you as a sub, it's who you are not how tall you are.

If you do find height to be problem you can always step over to our side of the fence. Although height can be a problem if you happen to be femme, like me, and you're interested in a petite butch girl. But show you're submissive side and you'll have no problems finding someone who's a Domme, butch or femme, who's interested.

 

[desertslave]

I've attended more than a handful of dungeon sessions over the years, in various cities, and I can guarantee you that both genders in whatever PYL come in all shapes and sizes, and everyone seemed to be having a grand time, every time.

 

[blulilacgrl]

The one thing that I am struggling with (and trying very hard to accept) is that what is most appealing about me to my Dom is NOT my physical appearance. Yes there are things that he appreciates about me physically but the most desirable thing is my willingness to submit. That I let go of my insecurities of my weight and my age and all the other things that frighten me and surrender them to him. That is the heart of his attraction to me.

Oh and my boobs. For some crazy reason he likes my boobs.

 

[njlauren]

Don't sweat it, and don't let what some porn projects or what some men tell you get in the way of enjoying yourself. There are all kinds of subs, short ones, tall ones, skinny ones, curvy ones, ones others would consider overweight, and they all have found D's to be with. My general experience with the BD/SM world is that a lot of the people don't match what conventional wisdom would call 'conventionally good looking", for a lot of reasons, some of the people it is because they are heavy set, others because they choose to be different (butch leather dykes, for example), or the heavily tatooed crowd (and I am talking what conventional wisdom says, which is often an oxymoron).

I am not small, both tall and pretty big, and I felt at home in the BD/SM world, because so many people were different and most people don't care. Yeah, there are people in the BD/SM world who judge others as cruelly as jerks in a singles bar on Fridy night, people who think they are all that, but they tend to live in their own little circles, most BD/SM people I have met/experienced seem to appreciate people more for who they are.

 

[nh23]

I think feeling little is more of a mentality. My husband is about five inches taller than me, but I weigh more than him. He always makes me feel little and tiny though. Just his demeanor toward me and my mentality toward him. No matter how I am feeling about my body that day when he calls me his little girl or little pet I always feel so small.

 

[Krotos]

My current slave girl is a good deal taller than me, and larger in size. She is as gentle as they come, and obedient to a fault. I get an extra power trip from having the ability to control and subjugate a woman larger than myself.

I often joke that she is my perfect revenge for all those tall girls who wouldn't date me.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Take five minutes looking at the profile pics on any of the well known websites catering to kinky folk and you'll see that this is a daft proposition.