Slammed I am

[Freya]

A new bar shirt?

 

[bknight2602]

Cute Freya.

 

[Nobody Special's wife]

That is cool I need one of those

 

[Freya]

Today I got up early as usual. When I was going to have breakfast I slipped on the stairs and got a big bump on my head. To calm me down, the maid gave me a cup of coffee, I burned my tongue because it was too hot. I put a slice of bread in the toaster and when I went to get it out I got an electric shock that sent me on my behind. The telephone rang, it was from the office just to tell me that last night the safe was broken into. I decided this was a good time to take a nice hot bath and meditate in order to bring down my stress and relax.

That is when it happened..........

 

[april-wine]

 

[Nobody Special's wife]

I'm sorry I have to laugh LMAO

But Ouch, Would you like me to put a bandaid on it for you , or kiss it and make it better

 

[bknight2602]

Ouch thats gotta hurt!

 

[Vilac]

That is when it happened..........

If you have a penis, then I'm afraid that you can't be my bestest-forever-internet friend that I've never met before.

Just some forewarning.

heh
V~

 

[erosman]

LMAO I can still hear my Mom saying, 'Get everything inside before you close the door!' (no, no, no...the car door, silly)

 

[Freya]

Vilac - bestest friends who have never met are supposed to love each other unconditionally. *sniffle*

Here's one you'll like.



Scientists have discovered that most women will, at some time contain intelligent DNA.

Unfortunately 95% of them spit it out.

 

[Freya]

Day after pics...No, not mine.

 

[Freya]

Well, maybe that last one...just once!

 

[Vilac]

Vilac - bestest friends who have never met are supposed to love each other unconditionally. *sniffle*

Here's one you'll like.

Scientists have discovered that most women will, at some time contain intelligent DNA.

Unfortunately 95% of them spit it out.

I'll love you unconditionally if you have a penis......although the whole lust thing will fly right out the window.

And....you're right....this one I like. Although I have to hang on to the hope that more than only 5% swallow. Such a high "Spit Rate" makes me weep on the inside. heh



V~

 

[Freya]

People can be so mean.

 

[Freya]

I'll love you unconditionally if you have a penis......although the whole lust thing will fly right out the window.

And....you're right....this one I like. Although I have to hang on to the hope that more than only 5% swallow. Such a high "Spit Rate" makes me weep on the inside. heh



V~

The other 95% of us have that intelligent DNA all the time. Ingestion is just a thirst thing.

I'm pretty sure there's no penis in my AV, but should I turn around to be sure?

 

[Vilac]

The other 95% of us have that intelligent DNA all the time. Ingestion is just a thirst thing.

I'm pretty sure there's no penis in my AV, but should I turn around to be sure?

"pretty sure"!? You'd better be damn sure. heh.

I'll take your word for it....but I reserve the right to check at a later date.

V~

 

[Freya]

Ya know, I should check all my email before I post them. I think you'd have liked this version of that joke better.

 

[Vilac]

Ya know, I should check all my email before I post them. I think you'd have liked this version of that joke better.

Yanno...I do like that one slightly better. I'm not quite sure why.

Perhaps it's the font?

heh
V~

 

[Ask For More]

People can be so mean.

Thats frickin hilarious

 

[Freya]

Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. Since Valentine's Day is named after a Christian saint and we're Jewish," she asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?" Melissa's father thinks a bit, then says "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?" "Osama Bin Laden," she says. "Why Osama Bin Laden," her father asks in shock. "Well," she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore." Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with newfound pride. "Melissa, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard." "I know," Melissa says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could blow the shit out of him."

 

[Freya]

Yanno...I do like that one slightly better. I'm not quite sure why.

Perhaps it's the font?

heh
V~

Somebody sent me a pic, told me it was one of your school pics from when you were a kid. True?

 

[Vilac]

Somebody sent me a pic, told me it was one of your school pics from when you were a kid. True?

Hey....that's after I lost 35 lbs. I was slimming down there.

I almost have a neck in that photo.
V~

 

[Freya]

Hey....that's after I lost 35 lbs. I was slimming down there.

I almost have a neck in that photo.
V~

LMAO! But you're so cuddly.


Ever wonder where easter eggs come from?

 

[Vilac]

Well...everyone knows where *those come from, silly.

Geesh

V~

 

[Freya]

Well...everyone knows where *those come from, silly.

Geesh

V~

Now we have scientific proof though.

And for the next time you go golfing - this is NOT what this machine is for.