Sister

[OnceFuturePoly]

Incest is not relevant here, except that the family connection makes it harder to walk away from her -- she will always be family and families are expected to get together from time to time, so years from now you may be sitting next to her.

If you both can truly do FWB and keep it that way, and are willing for sex to be on a very irregular basis, then you have a chance to pull it off a few times a year.

There are always occasions that can allow a tryst without suspicion, but they don't come often and aren't repeating events. Meeting sister in the afternoon and then going home to wife won't keep it secret -- something will start her wondering. What's best is both you and sister leaving family behind to attend a legitimate out of town event (e.g. wedding), preferably overnight. But plan for someone who knows you and your family getting a report back to your spouses.

What I'd do (and did) was get permission from my SO and show her that she remained the most important one in my life. It was surprising how understanding and willing she was to permit occasional contact. Plus, our love life improved a lot. But then my SO's a very special woman.

 

[themedic82]

Did you want advice, or did you want validation? If you want sunshine blown up your ass, try one of the other forums.

I'm not looking for any sort of validation. I just don't want people to get all pissy about how dare I cheat... I understand the cheating part of this whole thing. This question is about getting ACTUAL feedback about experiences (pros and cons) with this type of situation with a family member. So if you can't get that, why don't you find a new thread to bitch in?

 

[DarkPleasures]

I just don't want people to get all pissy about how dare I cheat... I understand the cheating part of this whole thing.

So, you've been down that road before and are fine with it. Why bring it into your original post then? We didn't need to know that your half-sister and you are both married if you don't give a shit. If you don't want "advice" on any one certain thing, do not bring it up in a How To/Advice board. Simple as that.

It would be like telling us about the pimples on your ass and then getting pissed off if someone focuses on that aspect. *shrugs* Not rocket science.

 

[subwannabe]

It's something you would have to think about if you weren't both happily married with children. Because of that you really have to make it something you don't think about. The more you flirt the better chances you will have a weak moment. Good luck.

 

[Hans101]

I'm not looking for any sort of validation. I just don't want people to get all pissy about how dare I cheat... I understand the cheating part of this whole thing. This question is about getting ACTUAL feedback about experiences (pros and cons) with this type of situation with a family member. So if you can't get that, why don't you find a new thread to bitch in?

1) You should not cheat
2) Your situation is unlikely to be something that most people have experience with.

 

[Mrtouf]

Okay well I can tell you this, which you probably already know: Once you go down this road, there's no turning back. Oh sure, if you think you've made a stupid mistake, you can stop. But having already done the deed you will start to rationalise doing it again, no matter how bad you feel.

Quite apart from the lasting psychological damage it'll cause, thinking along the lines of 'okay we have done it once, so one more time cannot do much more harm' is the sure way to be caught. Let's not even get into the shitstorm that will ensue if you manage to get her pregnant, and if you did end up fucking then Sod's law says that will definitely happen.

However I can tell you that what you're experiencing is a normal result of not growing up with your sibling and is an issue that some of us will have to contend with at some point as parents are more likely to go their separate ways and have families with other people. You are likely to be in each other's lives for some time to come so do the sensible thing and get help from a real therapist.

The conversation you need to have with your sister is not 'we need to talk about the implications of a sexual relationship' it should be 'we need to talk about how to be just siblings who get along well, nothing more.'

Hope this helps.