Sister

[themedic82]

So I noticed there are several incest related discussions on this board but I haven't really found one that fits what I'm going through and I was hoping to get some advice.

Here it goes:

I was in my mid twenties when I found that I have a half sister. While getting to know her I began to have strong feelings of love and lust for her. After a few years we began to become fairly close emotionally and one night she confessed to wanting me more than a sister should. I told her that I had and still have very similar feelings for her as well. Since that night we have been flirting with each other but nothing else besides lingering kisses goodbye. Once she flashed me while she was drunk which drove me crazy, but that is as far as we have gone. The largest issue right now is that we are both married with children. We have been beating around the bush for several years now, hiding our feelings and wondering what we should do, or not do. She says she is confused and torn and I agree. We both love the people we are with but we cannot deny our strong love and attrition for each other. If anything were ever going to grow it would have to be in secret and we are both unsure if it is worth it.

Can you all help me?

 

[Holley]

For me the problem is not you having sex with your half sister, the problem is going to be, if the two of you can live with cheating and betraying your spouses.
It will be a secret that may have to be carried forever.
Life is short, if it feels good do it.

 

[Prince Albert]

I agree witth Holley. It might be becuase there was a "deep dark secret" that is now open, you/she feel this way. I definitely see the bigger issue, is your respective spouses & children.

 

[themedic82]

For me the problem is not you having sex with your half sister, the problem is going to be, if the two of you can live with cheating and betraying your spouses.
It will be a secret that may have to be carried forever.
Life is short, if it feels good do it.

Having sex is the major issue here. We have been flirting with each other for several years now and this always leads to me wanting just a little more. The hardest part is I want to both make love to her, as well as fuck her. It is a dangerous endeavor. I know it would be awesome, but I guess I'm just curious to know if it is worth a lifetime of secret.

 

[panchro]

I'm not good at advice. I'll tell you, though, that I had a similar dancing around with a first cousin where we both freshly out of marriages so we didn't have the adultery issue you have. I think time was the thing that kept sex from happening. We flirted and played and flashed. But, after a point, it kind of dissipated. One night we had a log discussion about "should we/shouldn't we." We decided not to. Looking back, I'm glad. We wouldn't have stayed lovers. That's just my case.
Panchro

 

[NaturistLouise]

The largest issue right now is that we are both married with children.
We both love the people we are with .....

These two lines should be enough to say 'NO'. As much fun as the sex might be, in my opinion, it simply is not worth it.

 

[bailadora]

These two lines should be enough to say 'NO'. As much fun as the sex might be, in my opinion, it simply is not worth it.

QFT. I don't know how to say this without coming across as judgmental, but honestly? The fact that you're even contemplating taking this to the next level is mind boggling. When the shit hits the fan (because inevitably, it always does), it's not only your life and hers that'll be negatively affected, it's the lives of your wife, your children, your brother-in-law, and your nieces or nephews. I don't know how it is in your family, but I can tell you that in my family, the cheaters would be ostracized and the rest of the clan would rally around the cheated upon and the kids. Are you REALLY willing to face that kind of censure?

Keep the fantasy as spank bank material if you must, eliminate the antics with your sister and limit contact if you can't control yourself. If you have any integrity at all, you'll realize this is the right thing to do.

 

[fgarvb1]

Well, for starters leave out phrases like "beating around the bush"!

LOL!

 

[deucie]

Just do it.

Your only young once!

 

[Eilan]

We both love the people we are with but we cannot deny our strong love and attrition for each other.

You don't say. . .

 

[kellyz_craic]

There's a syndrome I don't know what it's called but it's a psychological thing where siblings don't grow up together and when they meet later in life there's strong attraction. It's partly body chemistry and partly psychological. Although you're only half blood, there's probably that kind of strong biological and genetic link.

The real issue here is not your respective marriages but your kids. Marriages can founder and the fact you're both courting danger may well be because your marriages are over but it's the kids who will really suffer if you act recklessly.

Plus, what happens if you fuck her? You announce to your families that you're an item now?

Way more trouble than it's worth. I get the taboo factor and all that but seriously, pull your head out of fantasyland and work on your actual marriage before you toss everything away for this.

If you cross this line, there will be absolutely no going back.

 

[sweet_secrets4u]

Weigh up the pros and cons and make your own decision. Only you can tell if its worth it, if it got known to those who are near and dear to you.

 

[countryboy7201]

pound it out big driver nobody will think your cheating bc they know shes your sister

 

[amofiga]

I'm also probably going to go against the tide here and say it MAY be good to do it. However, the caveat here is if you both are NOT "in love" with each other but see each other as really good friends with benefits and potentially good sex partners for fun and enjoyment. Against what a lot of people say around here, I think that affairs can work if both partners have respect for each other's families and don't get emotionally involved. If you can keep it friendly but casual, it can work. I wrote and posted a couple of incest stories. One where a brother and sister have a really good erotic and friendship bond that lasts for life but don't invade each other's family life. Another where it nearly caused a disaster in personal lives. It's up to both of you to talk this through as to what you want, what you expect, where the boundaries are. If you are both emotionally stable enough to keep it as a "fun sex" thing, then go for it. If either or both are the type to get too emotionally involved, walk away.

In your original post you alluded to "strong feelings and love". That's a red flad to walk away. If you had said you both had the hots for each other and you both were into exploring erotic sex with each other then I'd say go for it.

Good luck

 

[SweetErika]

I'm also probably going to go against the tide here and say it MAY be good to do it. However, the caveat here is if you both are NOT "in love" with each other but see each other as really good friends with benefits and potentially good sex partners for fun and enjoyment. Against what a lot of people say around here, I think that affairs can work if both partners have respect for each other's families and don't get emotionally involved.

Sure, affairs can work for the cheaters. They don't work well for the victims/people who are cheated on, though.

Most of the people here who advise against cheating have either felt the utter heartbreak of being cheated on, or watched loved ones go through that intense pain as the cheating partner, family member or close friend. It's such an awful, destructive thing to do to a partner/spouse, and it frequently causes irreparable damage.

 

[bailadora]

Against what a lot of people say around here, I think that affairs can work if both partners have respect for each other's families and don't get emotionally involved.

Honest question: how is knowingly getting involved with someone who doesn't have his/her partner's consent to go outside the relationship even REMOTELY respectful to the cheated upon partner or their extended families? From my perspective, the extra person may not be the one directly robbing the cheated upon partner of consent, but he/she is certainly aiding and abetting. I fail to see how that translates to respect on any level.

 

[amofiga]

<<<< Sure, affairs can work for the cheaters. They don't work well for the victims/people who are cheated on, though.

Most of the people here who advise against cheating have either felt the utter heartbreak of being cheated on, or watched loved ones go through that intense pain as the cheating partner, family member or close friend. It's such an awful, destructive thing to do to a partner/spouse, and it frequently causes irreparable damage. >>>

<<< Honest question: how is knowingly getting involved with someone who doesn't have his/her partner's consent to go outside the relationship even REMOTELY respectful to the cheated upon partner or their extended families? From my perspective, the extra person may not be the one directly robbing the cheated upon partner of consent, but he/she is certainly aiding and abetting. I fail to see how that translates to respect on any level >>

Both good and valid points. That's why I say it "may" work, but part of the assumption is that both parties are extremely discreet and careful and thus the "cheated on" do not find out. Often an affair is "found out" because the parties are careless and cavalier about it or one party gets emotionally involved or possessive and spills the beans or discusses the affair with another friend and word spreads.

Are affairs right? no. Are they "moral" no. Are they the best thing to do? no. However, everyday, there are probably millions of affairs taking place around the world where the "cheated on" don't know and in essence don't get hurt as long as the cheaters don't allow anyone to get hurt. I admit that it's a fine line and not a tightrope that is advisable or necessarily good. However, if it's "bound to happen" or if not doing it creates a lot of tension and resentment and anguish, perhaps it could be better to taste the forbidden fruit and then see that it's not as sweet as anticipated, walk away, and be satisfied that you tasted it rather than live a life of anguish and wonder.

Partial analogy. Sometimes people go on diets and it drives them nearly insane because there is something....chocolate cake....ice cream...whatever, that they miss so much that they end up going off the diet and binging. I've read various articles that say it's sometimes wise to take a forkful of cake or spoonful of ice cream now and then to just say you have the taste and it makes the dire craving go away. The assumption is that there is enough rationality and willpower to stay with one bite. I am personally on a very low sodium diet for medical reasons. I used to love salty foods....pretzels...Italian sausage...whatever. For months it drove me absolutely crazy to avoid these foods completly. Now, I allow myself perhaps one pretzel now and then or a single nickel-sized slice of a smoked sausage link to taste and savor once a week, and it helps to satisfy the craving and makes it easier to stay on the diet.....for me anyway. I can take a taste and not lose control. Everybody is different.

 

[themedic82]

First - Thank you to all for your own views on this.

What I meant by love is that she is my sister and I love her as my sister. I'm not "In love" with her. I do agree that there are serious implications if we start a sexual relationship. That is why I'm reaching out to everyone here. I am not looking to be judged, but rather look for help in making a decision on how to proceed in my relationship, whether that be "normal" or not.

I was wondering if anyone has any experience in this type of situation that could way in rather than just blasting me for even entertaining the thought.

Thanks to panchro for sharing their experience.

 

[patdefrance]

I agree with Panchro

Pat

 

[IceyBlue]

I've been there, the only way a situation like that can work, and that is fair to all involved is if all four adults involved are open and honest about it.

Some folks would much rather have an open relationship than a divorce.

Besides, moresomes can be uber hot too.

 

[akatrex]

If anything were ever going to grow it would have to be in secret and we are both unsure if it is worth it.

http://www.yourcelebritystuff.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/John-Edwards-Finally-Admits-Hes-the-Father-of-Mistress-Daughter.jpg

Johnny Edwards who served as a U.S. Senator from North Carolina. He was the Democratic nominee for Vice President in 2004, and was a candidate for the Democratic presidential nomination in 2004 and 2008.

On June 3, 2011, Edwards was indicted by a North Carolina grand jury on six felony charges of violating multiple federal campaign contribution laws to cover up an extramarital affair he admitted to following his 2008 campaign.

Secrets Never Get Out!


Divorce is Expensive in many many ways!

 

[lee_in_chbg]

I certainly understand the taboo aspect, dealing with it myself (though not my sister), but the real question, stated by many already, is - Is it worth it?
Potentially, it could ruin both your lives, as well as your spouses & your children. Just the incestuous part of the affair would be damaging enough, but to be caught cheating, too, could be devasting.
If the sexual attraction is too strong, try cyber & cam. Not as good as the real thing, but it could help alleviate the tension. And that tension will remain, as long as you see each other.
Tough spot, friend. Keep us posted on developments...

 

[DarkPleasures]

For the sake of the families (spouses and children), I'd say don't do anything. Are you really prepared to cheat on your wife (and she her husband) and potentially ruin that relationship? Does other family know that your sister and you are family? Or is she "just a girl"...?

I've been with one of my half sisters, but being adopted and only knowing my biological family for three years now, she was like any other stranger that I had gotten to know that is bisexual. In my mind, the taboo incest kink was there, but it wasn't the same as had we grown up together.

 

[bailadora]

I do agree that there are serious implications if we start a sexual relationship. That is why I'm reaching out to everyone here. I am not looking to be judged, but rather look for help in making a decision on how to proceed in my relationship, whether that be "normal" or not.

I was wondering if anyone has anyone experience in this type of situation that could way in rather than just blasting me for even entertaining the thought.

You've a fairly recent join date, so perhaps you are unaware of HT culture, but HT'ers are the type to tell you what they think, not what you want to hear. I'm not trying to be bitch, if people think you are being unfair to your partner or if they think something is a bad idea, they're going to tell you so. Some might be more polite than others, but they're going to tell you nonetheless.

In your opening post, you ask, "Is it worth it?" And for the most part, people have weighed in with a resounding no, for reasons that you already seem to be fully aware of. IMX, HT'ers are some of the most sexually open minded people I've known. But the key principle is consent of all parties involved, which cheating precludes. It reads to me as if you are hoping someone will come along and say, 'Yeah, mate. We went for it and it was totally worth it." With few exceptions, you're not going to get that response.

Ultimately, you're the only one who can make this call. But before you do, I think you should ask yourself how you would feel if the shoe were on the other foot and your wife was the one who was considering cheating on you. If you really love your spouse the way you say you do, I think you would be better served in redirecting all the time you spend obsessing over your sister towards your spouse. You just might find that your relationship with her becomes stronger for it.

 

[Eilan]

Did you want advice, or did you want validation? If you want sunshine blown up your ass, try one of the other forums.