Sissy Jane Writes

[SissyJane]

(Original posting removed. You can get to all my works in my sig naturally)

I guess I'd like feedback on two of my works in particular.


Mystery Lover - A girl gets picked up by a woman for a lesbian one-nighter.


Taken by Lion - My attempt at a *non-consensual* forced-sex fantasy.



Thanks,

Sissy Jane

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

I don't think we do it like this. We look at a story, maybe two, when asked. But we do not critique the entire body of writing for an author.

The stories you write over time become better as you skills improve. So, is it fair to you to rip up a story you wrote in the beginning which has nothing to do with what you are now along the progression?

Critiqe takes time and we get no pay for doing this. What you have laid out is something like a full day for each of us. This is time that could be spent elsewhere more productively.

What story do you want us to look at?

 

[SissyJane]

Ah, I see. I guess I was trying to use the thread a different way, but I can see your point. I'll re-edit the first post to comply with the intention of this sub-forum. My apologies.

 

[SissyJane]

I've chosen two, one recent and one of the better ones of my previous series of writing a couple years ago. I'd appreciate feedback. Thanks.

 

[mia_erotica]

too fast

I read your Taken story and it seemed more like an outline to me. There were some good ideas but it was very rushed and that made me not connect with the narrator.

 

[ellynei]

I have thoughts about "Taken by Lion."

I am, however, a wacko without social graces, so nobody cares what I think.

I guess I should keep those thoughts to myself.

So that, I guess, I will.