single people only: want to show someone they're wrong

[sweet0815]

I want to prove a friend wrong. Single only. Who would enter into a serious dating relationship with someone even if they was single and had kids. This person doesn't think finding love is possible now that they have kids. They're young 20-30s and think they'll end up alone forever. I don't think so. Anyone care to comment their opinion

 

[Lotus_Maiden]

Is this person just got out of a relationship? If so, it's just a "phase". They'll get out of it. If not, well, I've seen plenty step-family so it's not impossible. Is it harder to date once you have kids. Probably. You don't have 100% freedom. You'll have to synch schedule, get babysitter and the likes, but again it's not impossible. Tell them stop being a Debbie Downer

 

[BBGunn81]

I have two kids, and I am single. I will say it does make it very difficult to date, however not impossible. And it hasn't so much affected others wanting to date me as it has been difficult to know when to introduce them to the kids, and the other person can be a bit 'put off' if it seems like you are hesitant to introduce them to your kids. I don't want it to seem like a revolving door of women being introduced to my kids, so the introduction to them is very gradual and very much only done at a point where I think there might be a future here.

That being said, I have a few single male friends without kids and I know they have dated women with kids without reservation. I also have a friend that married a woman that had kids from her previous marriage and her kids love him as their stepdad and their family is incredible. He used to be very anti-kid and never wanted them himself. His tune has changed quite a bit since meeting her and the kids.

It all comes down to expectations and what you and your significant other want out of life. If they don't see themselves with kids in their lives, maybe they aren't dating material for that parent. I hope that if I meet a woman that is really into me, she will just see my kids as a bonus in her life.

 

[DaddysLilLolly]

I'm confused. (That doesn't take much. lol) Are you looking for single people to date?

 

[Paul_Chance]

When you are a single parent with children the dating equation is different - but I know a whole lot of step-families. The main challenge is simply one of time and timing, since as a parent your life and schedule orbits around your children. It can get further complicated by whether or not you have a good support system around you (i.e. trusted caregivers for the children). But it's certainly possible and happens all the time.

 

[sweet0815]

I'm confused. (That doesn't take much. lol) Are you looking for single people to date?

This isn't for me. I want to show a friend just because he/she has kids that no one would ever want to be with them. He/she is wasting their love on a person online that won't ever work out because they think that's all they can get.

 

[sweet0815]

I have two kids, and I am single. I will say it does make it very difficult to date, however not impossible. And it hasn't so much affected others wanting to date me as it has been difficult to know when to introduce them to the kids, and the other person can be a bit 'put off' if it seems like you are hesitant to introduce them to your kids. I don't want it to seem like a revolving door of women being introduced to my kids, so the introduction to them is very gradual and very much only done at a point where I think there might be a future here.

That being said, I have a few single male friends without kids and I know they have dated women with kids without reservation. I also have a friend that married a woman that had kids from her previous marriage and her kids love him as their stepdad and their family is incredible. He used to be very anti-kid and never wanted them himself. His tune has changed quite a bit since meeting her and the kids.

It all comes down to expectations and what you and your significant other want out of life. If they don't see themselves with kids in their lives, maybe they aren't dating material for that parent. I hope that if I meet a woman that is really into me, she will just see my kids as a bonus in her life.

I love your response this is exactly how I view it. The kids would be a bonus and it just takes finding the right person

 

[Eyereadtoo]

He/she happens to be totally wrong. There was a time when I was convinced there was no way I could fall for a girl who had kids, I was so mistaken. Before I realized it I was treating her children as if they were my own and and they lit up every time I came around. They were so anxious to show me new things they'd learned or gifts they had recently received, I opened up and truly cared for them.

Your friend was like me once, very closed-minded and oh so wrong.

 

[Chris_Michael]

Well, in 2016, the statistics are not in your favor. 30% of men are willing to get married. That's not even taking into consideration the potential cost of dating a woman with a child.

Straight up, it's a bad deal. A very bad deal. Sex is widely available through porn, prostitutes, or short term flings. So, men have less interest to invest in a single mom.

Besides, I don't want to be #2 in a woman's life. Who would want that? It would take a man who was super desperate to try to make sense out of dating a single mom.

My $0.02. I'm an adult virgin. Pathetic loser. Forever alone and free. Nothing tying me down. Lots of porn and a low sex drive thanks to meds.

 

[lovetporoleplay]

My take

I'm single and would not care if she had children or not. I accept people for who they are not for whst they have or don't have. True love is always possible. Keep the faith. Don't look for it and don't build a wall because of a fear of being hurt. It's worth the risk.

 

[Chris_Michael]

I hate this guy with all my soul, but there is one or two things he's right about. Single moms is one.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=o1xf78EltKM

 

[jaF0]

I wouldn't, but I just can't stand kids period, so I may not be the best example.

 

[ArthurW]

Here is a problem your trying to convince someone. If they have had problems what you do means nothing. It's how they are on here that needs to be checked. They may be attracking the wrong type by what they say or do. I wish you both luck.

 

[sweet0815]

Well, in 2016, the statistics are not in your favor. 30% of men are willing to get married. That's not even taking into consideration the potential cost of dating a woman with a child.

She takes care of her kids herself. She has an excellent job. She doesn't accept help or even need it so costs would be nothing. If anything she helps others every way possible. I know for a fact she helps numerous people get back on their feet and buys things to donate to those who lost their homes and things like that. She's self efficient and doesn't need a guy for their money.....and I know it might not help her but I thought I would try. She was always told no one would ever love her if she left her ex and has the kids so she started believing it. I just wanted to show her there is other opinions other than that. AND NO THIS IS NOT ABOUT ME.

 

[jaF0]

She was always told no one would ever love her if she left her ex and has the kids so she started believing it. I just wanted to show her there is other opinions other than that.

Unfortunately, there is often a lot of truth to that. Many people don't want to get involved in those things. It's not even always about the kids, but the possible involvement of the Exes, especially if things aren't amicable.

If you're in a major metro area, there are often groups for singles with kids.

 

[Eyereadtoo]

She takes care of her kids herself. She has an excellent job. She doesn't accept help or even need it so costs would be nothing. If anything she helps others every way possible. I know for a fact she helps numerous people get back on their feet and buys things to donate to those who lost their homes and things like that. She's self efficient and doesn't need a guy for their money.....and I know it might not help her but I thought I would try. She was always told no one would ever love her if she left her ex and has the kids so she started believing it. I just wanted to show her there is other opinions other than that. AND NO THIS IS NOT ABOUT ME.

She sounds like a wonderful young lady. Any guy that that is so selfish and into himself that can't see what outstanding qualities she has doesn't deserve her in the first place.

 

[demos]

A friend in his late fifties has done just that, although his partner is older than 20s/30s. She has a family of five, from junior school age to senior, and a career. He is self-employed and has greater flexibility of time, so performs the school run and is fully involved with his ready-made family.

Yes, it is certainly possible and if you make a purely rational analysis of her attributes and situation, it can be easily demonstrated to your friend that she has a great deal to offer.