Simile Simple An Exercise

[DocktorWu]

I have been going through a series of poetic device writing exercises lately. I thought this one might be something the forum would enjoy. The object here is to focus intensely on simile.

A '''simile''' is a technique that uses words such as "like" or "as" to compare two ideas. Similes allow the two ideas to remain distinct in spite of their similarities. For instance, a simile that compares a person with a bullet would go as follows: "John was a record-setting runner and as fast as a speeding bullet."

The exercise is to integrate each of these 11 phrases unchanged and in the order listed throughout your poem. Remember to finish of the simile.

01. the moon, broken off like
02. a red flower brilliant as
03. her fingers delicate as
04. the island stretches off the coast like
05. your backbone ridged like
06. the bicycle careening down the hill like
07. soft as
08. crazy bird its song like
09. she spun off like
10. his monotonous voice like
11. days pass like

The challenge is to not only finish off the simile but to also create a poem that is coherent. When a simile is well executed it exist as an organic part of the poem. It shouldn't stand out!

 

[DocktorWu]

Pandora Glitters At The End Of The World

There is…
the moon, broken off like an ice sculpture in progress.
Fragments flutter in then out, bloom through the atmosphere
a red flower brilliant as chips from a kaleidoscope.

Her fingers delicate as yesterday's tide fall from my shoulder.
She’s drawn the curtains to the patio doors
afraid to view the ocean's response.

I tell her it's not bad, that the island stretches
off the coast like breadcrumbs
scattered absently by a hungry child.

I peer through the curtains making a part like a cat's eye
she still won’t look. It's the sound of the waves
marching against shoreline that bothers her;

they leave a grating echo that sends
your backbone rigid like a long scream into the wind.
Pandora doesn't want to see what that looks like.

Tired of the play-by-play, she straddles me, blocks the view.
Her arms fold around me to gather in time; histories of us are
condensed into desperate consumption then filtered out through pores
like dreams of a perfect life.

We are in sync with a collapsing nature.
Our movements copy the gnawing of the beach.
We pace the fury of the moon spitting fragments at the earth
in an unalterable ride of gravity.

Pandora glitters in this chaos
her nails anchor in my shoulder unapologetic.
Yesterday we made love, talked in whispers like teenagers
but fear would not hide and made our tenderness a threesome,
colored it tragic like the cloudless sky.

Today we are fucking in a frenzy
desperate enough to blot out everything.
The world is still a moan but cannot pierce our intensity.

We are runaways
like the bicycle careening down the hill
like pieces of the moon
like gravity.

Too soon my illusions are brushed aside
as soft as the cushioned crash
of bone and feather to glass.
Crazy bird, its song like a cry of recognition.

The phone chirps a chorus. It is Alain, he thinks
the birds are committing suicide;
dozens have flown into his windows.
He talks about his wife, how she spun off like the birds
two days before today.

He hears my silence asks if we want to come over
his monotonous voice like
the hollow crunch of leaves
fills me with his loss. Pandora changes rhythm above me
rocks her hips in a quarter moon stroke.

She nods her head I mouth the words no
but still yes comes out.
She rises, smiles at the glistening left
smoothes her dress and tells me it's not the time to be alone
not when days pass like this one.

I watch her walk past the window
a piece of the moons tears a spotlight for her
and Pandora glitters at the end of the world.

 

[JadeMystery]

To Be There Again

I can’t sleep tonight,
I see the moon,
Not as it is,
I see the moon broken off like the jagged rock on the shore of the lake,

There where his love was all that existed in my life,
I’ll never forget that day,
The warmth of the sun bathing us in golden light,
The flower he picked for me,
A red flower,
Brilliant as the soul of the man I loved,
I remember hearing him talk about me,
Oh, how he adored me,
So much more than I deserved,
“Her smile is radiant”, he says
“And her fingers,
Delicate as the tentative brush of a first kiss on your cheek,”
Oh, to be there again.

We sat on the beach that day,
Gazing out at the lake,
The sail boats creating moving art,
The island stretches off the coast like a giant fallen asleep in the surf,
We sit together in silence,
That comfortable silence that you can only share with that special someone,
Then you stiffen,
For no apparent reason,
I look over at you,
You’re sitting straight up,
You backbone rigid like the trunk of a young tree,
Lovely natural curves,
But with a strength that is undeniable,
Then you ask that question,
That question that I’d barely dared dream that you would ask,
“Will you marry me?”
Of course I will my love.
Oh, to be there again.

Then that day came,
That impossible day,
That day that I wish I could erase forever,
It happened so fast,
You bicycle careening down the hill like a runaway train,
No way to stop it,
No way to slow down,
Your brakes broken,
You heading straight for the street,
I can’t,
I won’t picture it again,
The first time was so much more than enough for one lifetime,
And all the times it played back after that was pure torture.

I still wake up,
Seeing your face through my tears,
Imagining your caress on my arm,
Soft as a spring breeze across my skin,
Oh God to be there again,

The funeral,
People,
Black,
Flowers,
Tears,
So many tears,
You were so dearly loved my darling.

A bird cries out over head,
A crazy bird its song like an old woman,
No longer herself,
There is no sense in what is said,
Only the cackling of a mind long lost
Horrible noise on such a day,
How dare that bird,

Your mother is devastated,
Her dear dear son,
Her baby boy,
Her only child,
The only thing she had left,
She spun off like a woman possessed,
No more in control of herself than she was of the horrible events that came before,
She couldn’t take anymore,
The pain,
The people,
The priest,
His voice monotonous like the sound of summer crickets when you’re trying to sleep,
Saying what needed to be said,
Not because he knew you,
Loved you,
But simply because it needed to be said.

Days pass like the movement of a glacier,
Slow,
Cold,
Torturous,
And all I have left are my memories,
Memories of you,
Memories of us,
Oh, to be there again.

 

[Angeline]

The moon, broken off like a fingernail,
hung jagged in the sky, shone
on the night, on a red flower brilliant
as the dress she wore, carmine lips

and her fingers delicate as spider legs
crept up your arms. She is an island
that stretches from the coast
like punctuation she summarizes the sea,
she embraced your backbone ridged
like those gentle shadowy hills,
the distance between her hands
and your flesh is immediate

as the bicycle careening down the hill
like a warning a siren's song
can be soft as that lonesome moon
in the mist. Her cries were a crazy bird,
her song like the sparrow's falling
when she spun off like a planet.

She is Mercury,
and his monotonous voice
like space or air droned
where days pass without a sound.