Silly thoughts and laughter only

[Guest]

Have been down in the dumps today and the only way i can get myself up is to laugh. So i listened to Stephen Lynch .
now i know.. i am in no way twisted or odd.
these are the words to his lullabye song... thought i would die of laughter!

Hush little girl
sweet baby don't cry, tonight
Daddy is here and he'll
sing you a soft lullabye, tonight
Why can't it all be like
it was before
How can I explain why mommys
not here, anymore

Because daddy likes porno
and $10 whores
Daddy gets wasted and robs
liquor stores
Daddy likes rubbing against
little boys on the bus
i think thats why your mommy left us
mommy left us...

hush little girl, there is
no reason to fret, not tonight
don't mind the smoke,
daddy just wants to forget
(exhales deeply) tonight
soon it will all be like it was before
any minute she will walk
through that front door...

but daddy plays poker
and drinks lots of beer
then he wants sex that invloves
mommy's rear
daddy has sores on his naughty
parts oozing with puss
I think thats why your mommy left us

Please don't cry, i swear i'll
try, to be here by your side

Right after daddy gets
home from the bar
visits his booky,
and steals a new car
he'll drive to the strip club
and if daddy plays his cards
right, he'll bring home your
new mommy tonight, li de di, li de di...

what makes you laugh? do you like this kind of bizarre humor too?

 

[minsue]

Never fails to make me grin

Poisoning Pigeons in the Park
- Tom Lehrer
I'd like to take you now on wings of song, as it were, and try and help you forget perhaps for a while your drab, wretched lives. Here's a song all about spring-time in general, and in particular, about one of the many delightful pastimes the coming of spring affords us all.

Spring is here, a-suh-puh-ring is here.
Life is skittles and life is beer.
I think the loveliest time of the year is the spring.
I do, don't you? 'Course you do.
But there's one thing that makes spring complete for me,
And makes ev'ry Sunday a treat for me.

All the world seems in tune
On a spring afternoon,
When we're poisoning pigeons in the park.
Ev'ry Sunday you'll see
My sweetheart and me,
As we poison the pigeons in the park.

When they see us coming, the birdies all try an' hide,
But they still go for peanuts when coated with cyanide.
The sun's shining bright,
Ev'rything seems all right,
When we're poisoning pigeons in the park.

We've gained notoriety,
And caused much anxiety
In the Audubon Society
With our games.
They call it impiety,
And lack of propriety,
And quite a variety
Of unpleasant names.
But it's not against any religion
To want to dispose of a pigeon.

So if Sunday you're free,
Why don't you come with me,
And we'll poison the pigeons in the park.
And maybe we'll do
In a squirrel or two,
While we're poisoning pigeons in the park.

We'll murder them all amid laughter and merriment.
Except for the few we take home to experiment.

My pulse will be quickenin'
With each drop of strychnine
We feed to a pigeon.
It just takes a smidgin!
To poison a pigeon in the park.

 

[Guest]

Oh, I LOVE Tom Lehrer!!!!

I love Poisoning Pigeons, the Masochism Tango, In Old Mexico, and especially the Vatican Rag!

Vatican Rag

First you get down on your knees,
Fiddle with your rosaries,
Bow your head with great respect,
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!

Do whatever steps you want, if
You have cleared them with the Pontiff.
Everybody say his own
Kyrie eleison,
Doin' the Vatican Rag.

Get in line in that processional,
Step into that small confessional,
There, the guy who's got religion'll
Tell you if your sin's original.
If it is, try playin' it safer,
Drink the wine and chew the wafer,
Two, four, six, eight,
Time to transubstantiate!

So get down upon your knees,
Fiddle with your rosaries,
Bow your head with great respect,
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!

Make a cross on your abdomen,
When in Rome do like a Roman,
Ave Maria,
Gee it's good to see ya,
Gettin' ecstatic an'
Sorta dramatic an'
Doin' the Vatican Rag!

 

[snooper]

I, too, love Lehrer, but I prefer the old Lehrer, before he gained a social conscience.

Songs like The Hunting Song, The Wienerschnitzel Waltz, and the best of all, which guides so many of the writers here, Lobachevski.

 

[NoJo]

Ahh Nikolai Ivanovich Lobachevsyki! My hero. "Plagiarize! Plagiarize! Let no one else's work evade your eyes!"

 

[Guest]

i had honestly never heard of Tom Leherer. Praise to google. i found some of his work and listened to Masochism tango and The Elements.
awesome stuff.. made me think and smile.. who ever said that learning was painful?

does anyone know who sang Camp Woebegone? the "elders" of the family used to listen often.