Silly Jokes

[TheEarl]

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

None, that's a hardware problem!

So very, very true...

The Earl

 

[Richard_Smith]

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

None, that's a hardware problem!

How many REAL MEN does it take to change a light bulb?

None, we real men aren't afraid of the dark.

 

[BlackShanglan]

I'm indebted to Chris Rock for ...

"Oooh, honey," crooned the hooker. "Fifty bucks and I'll do anything you want."

"Fine. Paint my house, bitch."

 

[Richard_Smith]

Back To *SILLY*

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants running over the hill?
A: Here come the elephants running over the hill.

Q: What did Jane say when she saw the elephants running over the hill wearing sunglasses?
A: Nothing...She didn't recognize them.

 

[thambok]

Did you hear about the 2 peanuts walking down the street?

One of them was a salted.

 

[thambok]

A farmer in Iowa was on his tractor plowing a field.

A long straight stretch of road ran along the field, so the farmer had a habit of watching the few cars that came by.

As he plowed, he noticed a long Cadillac flying along the road. As the farmer watched, the car hit a rabbit.

The car screeched to a halt, and backed up to where the rabbit lay beside the road.

The driver got out of the car, walked over to the rabbit, and picked it up by the ears.

He turned the rabbit this way and that, verifying that the rabbit was indeed dead.

The driver walked to the back of the car and popped the trunk, where he pulled out a canister.

The driver held the rabbit up, and sprayed it with the canister on all sides. The rabbit twitched a few times, then hopped down.

The rabbit would hop 3 times, then turn around and wave. Hop 3 times, turn around, wave. The rabbit kept this up all the way across the field as the driver looked on.

Satisfied, the driver shook the canister and found it to be empty. He threw it into the ditch, closed the trunk and drove off.

The farmer had been watching the entire scene unfold in amazement. Once the car cleared the horizon, he made his way to the ditch as fast as his tractor would take him. Once he got there, he grabbed the canister, rotated it and read the label....









It said "Hair Restorer with Permanent Wave".

 

[thambok]

Two carrots are walking down the street, when one of them is hit by a car.

His friend frantically calls the ambulance, fearful for his friends life.

At the hospital, he paces back and forth, desperately wanting information.

Finally a doctor comes out, and he rushes to the doctor asking for news.

"C'mon Doc. How is my friend? Is he gonna live?"

"Well," the doctor replied, "I have good news and bad news."

"The good news is that your friend is going to live."

"The bad news is that he will be a vegetable for the rest of his life."

 

[thambok]

What do you call 2 skunks in a 69 position?

A pair of Odor-Eaters.

 

[thambok]

What's the square root of 69?


8 something.

 

[BlackShanglan]

What's the square root of 69?


8 something.

*snicker*

 

[Guest]

.....

 

[Richard_Smith]

A farmer in Iowa was on his tractor plowing a field.

A long straight stretch of road ran along the field, so the farmer had a habit of watching the few cars that came by.

As he plowed, he noticed a long Cadillac flying along the road. As the farmer watched, the car hit a rabbit.

The car screeched to a halt, and backed up to where the rabbit lay beside the road.

The driver got out of the car, walked over to the rabbit, and picked it up by the ears.

He turned the rabbit this way and that, verifying that the rabbit was indeed dead.

The driver walked to the back of the car and popped the trunk, where he pulled out a canister.

The driver held the rabbit up, and sprayed it with the canister on all sides. The rabbit twitched a few times, then hopped down.

The rabbit would hop 3 times, then turn around and wave. Hop 3 times, turn around, wave. The rabbit kept this up all the way across the field as the driver looked on.

Satisfied, the driver shook the canister and found it to be empty. He threw it into the ditch, closed the trunk and drove off.

The farmer had been watching the entire scene unfold in amazement. Once the car cleared the horizon, he made his way to the ditch as fast as his tractor would take him. Once he got there, he grabbed the canister, rotated it and read the label....









It said "Hair Restorer with Permanent Wave".

And of course we all know what a WOK is.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
No..... Not a Chinese Frying Pan.
A Wok is what one throws at a wabbit.

 

[Richard_Smith]

And of course we all know what a WOK is.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
No..... No a Chinese Frying Pan.
A Wok is what one throws at a wabbit.

A true story…(if I’m lying, I’m dying).

I once woke up thirsty in the middle of the night and went to the refrigerator to get a glass of soda.

As I opened the door and the light came on, I saw a rabbit inside.
What made it even stranger was that it was breathing, though it had its eyes closed.

So I shook its shoulder and it opened one eye, yawned, and said, “Yeah?”

“What…What are you doing here?” I asked.

“Is this refrigerator a Westinghouse?” it answered my question with a question of its own. I was so surprised that all I could think to do was to look at the logo on the outside.

“Yes. Yes it is,” I nodded my head. “It is a Westinghouse.”

“Then shut the door, please, so that the light will go out,” the rabbit replied, once more closing his eye. “I’m Westing.”

 

[Richard_Smith]

A true story…(if I’m lying, I’m dying).

I once woke up thirsty in the middle of the night and went to the refrigerator to get a glass of soda.

As I opened the door and the light came on, I saw a rabbit inside.
What made it even stranger was that it was breathing, though it had its eyes closed.

So I shook its shoulder and it opened one eye, yawned, and said, “Yeah?”

“What…What are you doing here?” I asked.

“Is this refrigerator a Westinghouse?” it answered my question with a question of its own. I was so surprised that all I could think to do was to look at the logo on the outside.

“Yes. Yes it is,” I nodded my head. “It is a Westinghouse.”

“Then shut the door, please, so that the light will go out,” the rabbit replied, once more closing his eye. “I’m Westing.”

Fortunately I had a WOK in my kitchen, which I proceeded to throw at it.