Showing You Care

[DarlingBri]

These days, it can feel difficult to show the people we love how much we care for them. We may find time to say "I love you," but think we don't have time or good ideas to thoughtfully show that love. For my 1,000th post, I wanted to share some ways to show you care, to ignite some romance, to focus on the non-sexual aspects of our relationships.

I'm not a relationship expert (far from it), but the five years I've been in love with my other half have taught me more about love and caring than I thought ever existed. http://cwm.ragesofsanity.com/cwm/cwm/heart-on.gif

I've phrased these for men, since it seems they struggle a bit more, but anyone can use these ideas.

There are "high" and "low" versions, for when you're low on cash, time, or energy, or flush with them all. They're all lovely. Some will knock her socks off, and some will just touch her heart. But isn't that what it's all about: touching her heart?

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1. Picnics
LOW: Picnics are a nice treat. You can get sandwiches, soda, crisps, and fruit at the supermarket. This will work best if you *don't* tell her you're taking her on a picnic, because she may want to organise it. Just tell her you're picking her up or taking her to lunch. DON'T forget the blanket! (You can also do this in the backyard if you need to.)
HIGH: Rent a convertible. Drive way out in the country. Make a full day of it. Get someone to help you plan the picnic and pack the lunch. Champagne is a nice touch here. DON'T forget the glasses!

2. Dinner for Two
LOW: I don't think any woman expects those of you who are Kitchen Disabled to whip up French cuisine for two. Pizza can be romantic (honestly!) if you light some candles, get out a bottle of wine, and play some nice music.
HIGH: Her favourite restaurant, or one to which you've always wanted to take her. Again, an element of surprise garners high marks as long as she knows what to wear. But remember, the romance here comes from you, not the restaurant.

3. Flowers
LOW: A classic. Bring her some for no reason at all. From a florist, a gas station, or the garden. It really doesn't matter.
HIGH: Get them delivered. To the office is nice, home works too. An especially unexpected touch if you're staying in a hotel together, or she's away on business in a hotel.

4. Refrigerators
LOW: Covertly stick her favourite candy bar, bottle of wine, or just something silly in the fridge. She'll smile when she eventually finds whatever you've buried in there.
HIGH: I'm not sure there's a high version of this. Anyone who has an idea, please share it

5. Baths
LOW: Buy her some bubble bath. Tell her you want her to go have a nice relaxing soak in the tub while you do something for her. Dinner for Two is a good idea! (see above) So is putting the kids to bed.
HIGH: Deck out the bathroom. Run the bath, add the bubbles, light lots of candles, turn the lights off. Warm the towels and her bathrobe in the tumble dryer.

6. Poetry
LOW: Find some poetry that reflects how you feel about her on the 'net or in a book of poems. Email her the poem, write it in a card, or read it to her.
HIGH: Write her a poem. Doesn't matter if it's terrible. She'll love it, and it actually won't be terrible to her.

7. Snail Mail
LOW: Send her a card now and then. Doesn't matter if you live with her. It makes a lovely treat when the postman arrives.
HIGH: Send her a present as a surprise.

8. Escape
LOW: A hotel or motel in your own town. Makes a nice "night off" from the realities of life, and someone else gets to change the sheets, make the bed, and clean the bath. Bliss.
HIGH: A hotel or motel anywhere else, subject to time and budget constraints. Just be together somewhere interesting. If you can surprise her with your destination, even better. (Tell her if she'll need a passport, and the climate, so she can pack, of course).

9. Kiss her
LOW: Just kiss her. Kiss her like you did the first time. Kiss her with soul, kiss her with love, kiss her with thought. Kiss her with clothes on, when you can't even take her to bed. Just really, really, kiss her.
HIGH: Add moonlight. Take her to the bottom of the garden, the beach, a field, a mountain top, a fireworks show. Just really, really, kiss her.

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If anyone else has ideas, please share them. I'm always looking for ways to show the most important person in my life how much I love him. He does such a wonderful job of showing me

 

[Iris]

I think I'm truly blessed because my lover always shows me he cares. He doesn't have all that often to really do anything special - although when he does that's very nice too - but it's the small things he does every day that let me know. How he holds a door for me, how he looks up from his work to smile at me, and most of all how he supports me. Even if he doesn't agree with something I'm doing, he always wishes me the best and helps out when he can, even if it means putting something off for himself. The beauty of it is that I never take his support for granted...he does it out of the goodness of his heart. Frankly he sometimes makes me feel a little guilty.

I love to reciprocate too. When I know he's had a hard week, I ask him over and cook dinner, and even do the dishes. I let him vent and get it out of his system, even though sometimes I know there's nothing I can do, but once whatever is bothering him is out, he'll feel better.

I think the every day ways of showing someone you care are more important than going all out once a month.

 

[tuirin]

Have one day set out in the month were she is a queen for a day?

 

[Weevil]

3. Flowers
LOW: A classic. Bring her some for no reason at all. From a florist, a gas station, or the garden. It really doesn't matter.

This works fairly well until your next door neighbor starts asking nosy questions like "Who dug up my garden.?" or "Those flowers you're carrying, they look a lot like the roses that were stolen from my backyard."

Writing songs about her is what she said she really liked about me, so if you play an instrument and like to sing then give that a shot. I look back on some of the terrible songs I wrote her when we was in High School and they make me gag but she seems to still like them.

 

[Samuari]

petting usally

wins me points, you know reaching over and tucking a whisp of hair behind her ear, or stroking her arm, maybe a light kiss on the back of her neck...