Show of hands...Infidelity?

[Guest]

OK...Read the chatter, now what matters!
Who here on Literotica.Com (besides your interlocutor) has been unfaithful in real life with a member of the opposite sex that they met online? (Show of hands!)Did you have a good time? Are you remorseful? Have you or will you do it again...and if so why?
This is going to be a VERY interesting set of responses. (I DO have my own read on this and a certain member of the Literotica literati knows of WHOM I speak!) But I may post a comment after I read some of them.
Newbie here, but a facinating site indeed!

 

[Deborah]

I begged you not to kiss and tell. What part of "shut the fuck up you crazy bbbitch!" don't you understand? Now look, you are making me stutter. Hey, XXXXXplorher, I bet this he/she is in your little black book too.

 

[Southernhelle]

I met a man more than twice my senior this summer..swept me off my feet, flew me out of my dull existence for a few days of exquisite pampering...and he had a fabulous cock too. the important things all come out in the end....but to answer you, mr. bluesman, i wasn't the infidel, i was the other woman. i think that weighed on his consciousness for awhile, but he appears to have found some new playmates slightly closer to home. naturally they won't quite match up, but perfection comes along so rarely..*s*

 

[Guest]

Dear Deb-
You ASSume too much. Not the man you think!
Now SouthernHelle may have given the store away! But I won't! I have my own read on this and I'll be damned if I give it away!
WRITE! You ALL have strong sentiments here...mine will conclude the topic when the thread is at its end. Send me some opinions!

 

[Rodrigo]

I've cheated on girlfriends in the past, and probably would cheat again if presented with the right opportunity. I have never cheated with anybody I've met on-line, mainly because, for me, cheating was about the sex and nothing else. It was about bar-girls and strippers and hookers and the heat of the moment. It was about passion, lust, and I have to actually see the girl, smell the girl, touch her, to generate that lust. I have a very open relationship with the girl that I'm with now, so situations in the past that would lead to cheating now involve my girlfriend. So cheating doesn't enter my mind.

 

[Shintani]

Stay tuned...I'm working on it...and I suppose that if everything does work out, we'll both owe Laurel a great big thank-you for putting up the Chat.

 

[Laurel]

Oh no.. I'm not going to have some cuckholded spouse after me with a shotgun, am I?

 

[Unclebill]

Not yet but wish me luck! And because of my philosophy, there will be no remorse if or when it happens.

A nice piece of advice offered me some years ago goes as as follows:

"If you're thinking about doing something and you're going to worry about it, DON'T DO IT. If you're going to do it, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT!"

The bottom line comes down to this simple idea: if the relationship with your spouse is a valued one you do not wish to lose, don't do that which can cause its loss, e. g., infedility.

 

[Guest]

I cheated, lost my wife, my kids and everything that was important to me. I blew it. If you cheat be sure you are ready to give up what you have. As the old saying goes, "You don't know what you got till its gone!" I lost everything even my mistress, who as it turns out was just using me for a fling. Most good girls won't settle for a long term relationship with a man who cheats on his wife to be with them anyway. Do as I say not as I do. Cheating isn't worth it guys. Just my opinion.

 

[Kip Carson]

I personally would never cheat. I think that if you flirt online it's ok. I never would use my real name, or even tell them where I was from, it's better that way. Losing everything for one hour's worth of pleasure is foolish. I have a wife and 2 kids to think about. So, I am personally against it. Also, have you ever thought about AIDS? Sex could kill you now days. So, if you do do it, wrap that rascal!!!!!!
Besides, I love my wife and wouldn't want to hurt her. She is cool about me sex chatting on line because it's just fantasy. If you don't fantasize, than you have problems.
Only my opinion.
Kip Carson.

P.s. Laurel, better buy a bullet proof vest just to play it safe. Ha Ha.
only joking, ok?

 

[Guest]

I personally never took the online thing very seriously until now. I am about to drive for several days to meet a man I met online.

 

[Guest]

Well, Laurel...that WAS quite a rant but a well-reasoned one and on the whole I can't disagree. I posted it because I DO have a personal angle on this subject. After 16 years of fidelity, I recently had affairs with more than one lover and cannot fathom WHY I went beyond the fantasy and allowed myself this forbidden fruit. Selfish? Absolutely! Sneaky? No doubt. Do I feel BETTER about myself for this indulgence? Not at all. Yet, somehow, the very promise of that forbidden fruit tempts me in ways that it never could in the past. Is this a mid-life crisis? It sure seems like one.

I wanted to hear from other readers what their experiences were and what advice might come this way.

 

[Cybergene2k]

The idea that men, or women for that matter, must be "faithful" to their mutual spouses or lovers is really going against human nature. Men are programmed to be polygamous, and while we are so, still we can remain otherwise loyal and loving to our woman.

I have had more than one cyber lover
offer their beds to me, but there is the
need now to be very cautious as it is really like playing a form of Russian
Roulette with your health and life.

Sex in the '60's was relatively safe and
abundant... old inhibitions went out with
BC tablets. Now it requires more care
and caution.

Never say that cyber sex is inferior or
not exciting, a lot depends on the libido and imagination of the individual.
Going FF is more risky, but sometimes
almost inevitable.

 

[Laurel]

Ah, the nature argument... Other things common in the natural world: infanticide, child rape, cannabilism...

I frankly don't buy the "it's in our nature" line. Society as we know exists only because the majority of us resist the impulse to steal, to kill, to rape.

It is wrong to hurt your spouse's feelings to satisfy your own urges. If you don't want to be with just one person, don't make that kind of commmitment - it's that simple. Don't get married and then lie to your spouse. Life isn't fair - you can't have your cake AND eat it, too.

People want the security of a commitment, then want to be able to let their hormones lead them all around town. It's immature and selfish, and you end up humiliating and deeply wounding the person who should be the most important thing in your life.

I have no problem with swinging couples or with open relationships. I don't think sex out of a commitment is a bad thing as long as both parties involved are aware of it. It's the lying that isn't cool.

I'm not talking about the "snowed-in-the-cabin-with-the-snow-bunny" fling - I'm talking about serial infidelities. I used to know a man who was unhappy with his marriage and chased women all over the office. His wife was unsatisfying, they fought all the time, blah blah blah... the excuses were endless. Yet, after I got to know him more, he told me his first marriage had ended because he got caught with another woman! Was it his previous wife's fault that he was cheating then?

If you make a commitment, then it is your responsibility to try to make it work. If it isn't working, then end it - don't f**k around and be a bad example for your kids!

I'm not married, but I do know that I would never be with a cheating man. There's no reason to, as there are plenty of honest, gorgeous, intelligent men out there who have self control.

The Golden Rule applies here - treat others as you would like to be treated. If you enjoy being lied to and humiliated, then by all means go ahead and sneak around.

All right, rant over... hehe...

 

[XXplorher]

Uh, Deborah, ya lost me there completely. Say what?! Seriously – huh?!

As far as the topic:

I’m currently single, never married. But to answer the question -
NEVER. Never have, never will, EVER be disloyal to my woman. Period. What’s a relationship without trust and loyalty? It’s nothing – that’s what. If you need to wander, then you are with the wrong mate. Be a man (or true woman) and end the relationship – THEN go wander and see what you find. It’s called conviction. Many should try it.
That said, I HAVE been in open relationships where ‘no strings attached’ was understood. And if husband and wife want to pursue other areas, and it’s talked about, understood, and accepted by both parties – fine. No problema.

Otherwise, I feel it’s the most heinous, selfish act you can do to the one you claim to love. As you can see, I’m very passionate about that mentality.

PS Laurel, I hate to echo your sentiments and appear a suck-up, but beautifully said (vs. my jaded angry prose, eh (how do you put in those smily faces?)) It’s worth repeating:

People want the security of a commitment, then want to be able to let their hormones lead them all around town. It's immature and selfish, and you end up humiliating and deeply wounding the person who should be the most important thing in your life.

 

[Guest]

Alright Kip Carson, nice to hear that their are still men in this world who love their wives and take the marriage vows seriously.

 

[Shintani]

Laurel, I wouldn't worry too much about anyone's jilted EX coming after you with a shotgun...an Uzi, maybe, but definitely no shotgun.
Kip, you're right about the safety factor, with all the shit floating around out there, seems like you have to boil people before you fuck 'em these days.

 

[Deborah]

Hey XXplorher, I am simpy amazed you are confused. What part of dumb blond jokes don't you understand? That's OK, bluesmantoo didn't get it either.

 

[Slutgirl]

I met my current husband online,(not here, at a game site), anyway, at the time I was still married to my first. I left him for the man I'm with now. I never "physically" cheated, but I spent $3000 in phone bills and stopped sleeping with my first husband six months before I left, I guess maybe that counts?

 

[XXplorher]

Now I'm even more confused. Was that humility I just saw from Deborah? Hmm.....

 

[Hullo_nurse]

I agree with Laurel & XXplorher-- don't screw with your marriage. If you are unhappy then get out before you go between someone else's sheets. As with Kip's spouse, I an "allowed" to flirt on line & go to sites like this one & even write for this site, but I would NEVER consider getting cock somewhere else live & in the flesh. I'd rather take out the lesbo pornos & my handy dandy vibrator. It is a sacred vow one takes when entering the covenent of marriage & is not to be taken lightly. If you can't do the time, don't do the crime....

 

[Guest]

In my opinion, cheating is what a coward does. Get out before you cheat. Real men don't cheat.

 

[Guest]

Kip,
I too have a wife and two children and I completely agree about infidelity! Wrong, wrong, wrong! Not for me and obviously not for you.

 

[GuyJD]

My wife believes 100% in fidelity but my girlfriend feels that if I'm not treated right at home, she can always take care of my needs.....LOL.

 

[Always]

i've never cheated.. then again, i've never had anyone to cheat on.