Show Don't Tell

[Carnal_Flower]

I've never quite understood this. Let's discuss what it means.

Example

I have a scene I'm writing with a high school teacher lusting after one of his students.

I am immersed in the scene. "Mr. X didn't realize he was staring at [hot student] until she looked up and caught his eye."

Ok, now at this point I want to "tell" the reader about Mr. X. How old he is, when he started teaching there, when and how he first noticed [sexy chick.] I want to provide some context and background. I also want to describe a bit of the cconflict he's feeling about the attraction.

How do I possibly "show" any of this?

The only only way I can think is to have him TELL her. So if I'M not "telling" it, HE is.

At some point someone, whether it's the writer or a character is going to HAVE to go into "tell" mode!

Unless you want to write a pure spoken drama in real time.

Thoughts?

 

[R. Richard]

He's grading one of her papers and the thoughts roll though his alleged mind.

 

[geronimo_appleby]

He's grading one of her papers and the thoughts roll though his alleged mind.

boom. right there ^^^

 

[SusanJillParker]

I've never quite understood this. Let's discuss what it means.

Example

I have a scene I'm writing with a high school teacher lusting after one of his students.

I am immersed in the scene. "Mr. X didn't realize he was staring at [hot student] until she looked up and caught his eye."

Ok, now at this point I want to "tell" the reader about Mr. X. How old he is, when he started teaching there, when and how he first noticed [sexy chick.] I want to provide some context and background. I also want to describe a bit of the cconflict he's feeling about the attraction.

How do I possibly "show" any of this?

The only only way I can think is to have him TELL her. So if I'M not "telling" it, HE is.

At some point someone, whether it's the writer or a character is going to HAVE to go into "tell" mode!

Unless you want to write a pure spoken drama in real time.

Thoughts?

He's been teaching since Kennedy was President or he remembered explaining to his students about Nixon's impeachment.

He could reference how his students have changed over the years from wearing pocket protectors and carrying slide rules to them all having smart phones and laptops.

You could reference something in the news than and compare that to something in the news now.

"I remember when I first started teaching here..."

By using imagery and description, you show the reader instead of boring the reader to death with long passages of narrative.

Showing the reader allows you not to lecture the reader. Showing the reader gives the reader the images that you're trying to have them imagine.

 

[Carnal_Flower]

The single difference is that instead of me the narrator stepping in and saying Mr. X first noticed her eyes . . . Blah blah it's Mr. X having an internal monologue.

I dont see much of a difference.

You get the vividness of spoken words or a stream of consciousness type of thing, but a well-written paragraph of exposition CAN work just as well.

I just don't see how you get away from SOME "telling."

QUOTE=SusanJillParker;81793660]He's been teaching since Kennedy was President or he remembered explaining to his students about Nixon's impeachment.

He could reference how his students have changed over the years from wearing pocket protectors and carrying slide rules to them all having smart phones and laptops.

You could reference something in the news than and compare that to something in the news now.

"I remember when I first started teaching here..."

By using imagery and description, you show the reader instead of boring the reader to death with long passages of narrative.

Showing the reader allows you not to lecture the reader. Showing the reader gives the reader the images that you're trying to have them imagine.[/QUOTE]

 

[SusanJillParker]

The single difference is that instead of me the narrator stepping in and saying Mr. X first noticed her eyes . . . Blah blah it's Mr. X having an internal monologue.

I dont see much of a difference.

You get the vividness of spoken words or a stream of consciousness type of thing, but a well-written paragraph of exposition CAN work just as well.

I just don't see how you get away from SOME "telling."

QUOTE=SusanJillParker;81793660]He's been teaching since Kennedy was President or he remembered explaining to his students about Nixon's impeachment.

He could reference how his students have changed over the years from wearing pocket protectors and carrying slide rules to them all having smart phones and laptops.

You could reference something in the news than and compare that to something in the news now.

"I remember when I first started teaching here..."

By using imagery and description, you show the reader instead of boring the reader to death with long passages of narrative.

Showing the reader allows you not to lecture the reader. Showing the reader gives the reader the images that you're trying to have them imagine.

[/QUOTE]

You can show what he's thinking by using internal monologue.

'She's so beautiful,' he thought. 'I'd love to see her big tits bouncing while I'm fucking her.'

I always mix internal monologue with dialogue as much as I pepper narrative with imagery and description.

 

[Carnal_Flower]

But I'm just telling you what he thought. That's telling, not "showing," or am I missing something?

Don't we as writers tell a story?



You can show what he's thinking by using internal monologue.

'She's so beautiful,' he thought. 'I'd love to see her big tits bouncing while I'm fucking her.'

I always mix internal monologue with dialogue as much as I pepper narrative with imagery and description.[/QUOTE]

 

[olivias]

How do I possibly "show" any of this?

The only only way I can think is to have him TELL her. So if I'M not "telling" it, HE is.

The point isn't all show. It's show where that is possible and more effective. Of course a successful story is a mix of show and tell.

 

[8letters]

I've never quite understood this. Let's discuss what it means.

Example

I have a scene I'm writing with a high school teacher lusting after one of his students.

I am immersed in the scene. "Mr. X didn't realize he was staring at [hot student] until she looked up and caught his eye."

Ok, now at this point I want to "tell" the reader about Mr. X. How old he is, when he started teaching there, when and how he first noticed [sexy chick.] I want to provide some context and background. I also want to describe a bit of the cconflict he's feeling about the attraction.

How do I possibly "show" any of this?

The only only way I can think is to have him TELL her. So if I'M not "telling" it, HE is.

At some point someone, whether it's the writer or a character is going to HAVE to go into "tell" mode!

Unless you want to write a pure spoken drama in real time.

Thoughts?

I think the problem is that you are trying to present a lot of background after having one tiny action - his student catches him staring at her. When does something interesting happen? Does he help her out when she has car troubles? Does she come talk to him after school? If you have an interesting scene, then you have plenty of opportunity to provide context as the scene plays out.

 

[Carnal_Flower]

once upon a time, a little bunny went hopping through a forest.

That's telling a story.

"A fluffy white puff flashed before my eyes."

Different, but only because a character is now telling a story.

The only way to truly "show" is to use the medium of film or visual art.

What exactly is "showing" in writing?

I think it's always a form of telling, because it's words.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

It oughta be DO DONT TELL

 

[TxRad]

once upon a time, a little bunny went hopping through a forest.

That's telling a story.

"A fluffy white puff flashed before my eyes."

Different, but only because a character is now telling a story.

The only way to truly "show" is to use the medium of film or visual art.

What exactly is "showing" in writing?

I think it's always a form of telling, because it's words.

The difference is between an information dump and spreading things out when and where needed in small doses.

 

[geronimo_appleby]

once upon a time, a little bunny went hopping through a forest.

That's telling a story.

"A fluffy white puff flashed before my eyes."

Different, but only because a character is now telling a story.

The only way to truly "show" is to use the medium of film or visual art.

What exactly is "showing" in writing?

I think it's always a form of telling, because it's words.

putting it into words to fire the reader's imagination. you put the images into their head.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I've read through the various examples given, and I'm no further enlightened, either. So far, the explanations seem to be, "avoid info dump, ease into back story slowly."

Perhaps, as CF suggests, a lot depends on the voice and point of view of the narrator, and the writer behind the narrator whose own voice and opinions might occasionally creep through. If the narrator becomes like another character, they can weave in and out of the story-telling with observational asides.

Is this one of those "writerly things" that everyone thinks they know the answer to, but nobody does?

I know I don't know, not in any way that I can articulate the difference.

I'm thinking about one of my own stories, where I could have opened it by writing, "Adam was a man in his fifties, cynical and jaded, but filled with passion and warmth, just waiting for a young woman to re-awaken him." That's telling, a one-liner that could be a summary of the story, but it misses every nuance of the character, says nothing of the interaction between him and the young woman, gives nothing of her personality. All of that additional layering is "shown" by "telling" the story, engaging the readers so they invest in the characters.

But CF, I've read a good chunk of your work. Even if you don't "know" the difference I don't think it matters - you get it "right", whatever it is, especially your long City of Angels piece. That's masterful.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

Its really all of it TELL not show because it aint tv or movies.

So I draw the line with concrete words that launch imagination.

 

[SamScribble]

I think what most authorities mean when they suggest 'show don't tell' is: write in a way that creates pictures in your reader's mind. And, on that basis, James's 'concrete words that launch imagination' is just about right.

 

[Areala-chan]

"Show, don't tell" just means, "Impart information in such a way that the reader figures something out contextually."

Telling is when you have your narrator declare that Bob is a great fighter, a black belt in Tae Kwon Do, winner of many martial arts tournaments, etc...

Showing is when you detail how Bob systematically dismantles three opponents, then watches the fourth turn tail and run before he can get stomped. Never once does a narrator have to explain what a great fighter he is, or that he has a black belt in anything, or that he's even participated in a martial arts tournament. A reader can infer Bob's fighting prowess from this scene and reach that conclusion on his or her own.

Showing isn't always possible (or even desirable), and the writer's broad ability to do so is affected by things like what tense the story's written in, whether the perspective is limited or omniscient, and other factors.

Basically, 'telling' is hearsay testimony. 'Showing' is direct evidence. Both have their uses. I hope that helps.

 

[sr71plt]

I think that explains it quite well.

 

[Cruel2BKind]

He's going to get coffee. He's glancing around the cafeteria as he gets it (morning, students are in cafeteria getting breakfast, doing last minute homework, putting in eyedrops, etc.) He's surveying the scene and just start describing her the way you're describing the rest of the room. Clumsy writers start doing that all the time, describing everything in way too much detail.

But you will subvert that. Because after you've scratched out a paragraph or so of describing the subject of teacher's desire (not thinking of fucking her, just describing her features) have her look up, and then suddenly teacher realizes he isn't surveying the room, but straight-up staring. The author's POV becomes seamless with the character's POV, you have used your structure to get across the shock of being discovered.

 

[Hypoxia]

Telling utilizes some form of the verb "to be". She is that or was there. Her qualities are stated.

Showing uses active verbs. The wind blew her auburn hair as she ran across the blasted heath.

Telling is a passive data dump. Showing engages the readers senses to convey flavor, texture.

 

[sharingfantasies]

To me tell is: Maria opened her birthday present. "Thanks, Mom," she said excitedly.
Show: Maria opened up her birthday present. She jumped up and down doing a happy dance, then gave her mother a hug and a big kiss. "Thanks, Mom."

The writer doesn't say she is excited, the writer shows the excitement.

When I read description I like it spread out in the story. In one setting maybe he overhears a student talking about Old Mr... or walks by a mirror and notices there is more gray than usual. I don't have to be told his age, I get an image of his age from the descriptions. Later, a student might mention how it is easy to find Mr... because he towers over most of the people at school.

That is more interesting than a paragraph that says Mr.... was 6'4" with dark hair going gray. etc.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

When I did psychological evaluations the outcome or target was always lawyer proof concrete evidence . Like.....

Diagnostic Impression: Hyperactivity with labile mood. At ten oclock Pee Wee burst thru my office door, pushed every object atop my desk onto the floo r,pulled books from the shelves at his mother, kicked at other staff and tried to urinate on them as they attempted to restrain him. He yelled, cursed, laughed, screamed, and cried during the event. (that's real hyperacity, by the way).

 

[Haulover]

I had a professional editor two decades ago. She gave me a lot of inight into this.

I like this explanation.

"Show, don't tell" just means, "Impart information in such a way that the reader figures something out contextually."

Telling is when you have your narrator declare that Bob is a great fighter, a black belt in Tae Kwon Do, winner of many martial arts tournaments, etc...
...

If it sounds like a narrator is informing the reader about any part of the story, you'll soon lose their attention. The reader needs to understand what's happening from the actions and dialog of the characters.

There will always be several simple "narratives" in any story. It's unavoidable. The objectives are to (a) minimize them, and (b) never use them in the most important parts of the story.

 

[Carnal_Flower]

All helpful responses thank you!

 

[CyranoJ]

What exactly is "showing" in writing?

I think it's always a form of telling, because it's words.

I think of it as the distinction between description and exposition. To "show" is to convey information in the descriptive details that are part of an unfolding scene. Exposition takes time out from the scene to just straight-up explain stuff.

It's maybe helpful to think of description as being the eye of a camera. Take your professor, for example: what about his looks or mannerisms gives away his age? Is his face a roadmap of yearly routine? Were his spectacle frames and ties last fashionable when Carter was President? Has he been teaching here long enough -- perhaps in this same classroom -- for the desk to have a familiar surface of ruts and dents and scratches that his hands know by instinct? Visual details like that can establish age without your having to break off and have him specifically tell us that he's been teaching since such-and-such year, which is something the "camera" wouldn't see.

Likewise with the hottie. You can show the attraction and the conflict first: in the way his eyes linger on her as she takes her seat, the way he guiltily looks away when her eyes meet his, the set of his lips as he tries to look authoritative and to play his plain infatuation down. Again, details of an unfolding scene rather than stopping the scene to tell us when he first noticed her (although if you want you could use a brief flashback for that purpose, or have her casually mention to him at some point that she's noticed him staring at her breasts ever since she wore such-and-such outfit during the heatwave in early fall).

Exposition isn't totally verboten, obviously, but that's how I see "showing."