"Show don't Tell" wah?

[annaswirls]

After posting my first story here, Gauchecritic sent me a wonderful email and a link describing what "Show don't Tell" means, with helpful examples. I never really understood until I saw the examples (eh hem, until I was shown, not told )


Let's use this thread to help each other with this concept by showing. It is definately not an easy one to understand, and it is also not easy to stick with it once you do.


I will go find that link!

~J

 

[annaswirls]

SHOW:
haiku, by Taniguchi Buson

The piercing chill I feel:
my dead wife's comb, in our bedroom,
under my heel.



TELL:
by Jennifer VanBuren

My wife, you are dead.
This morning I stepped on your comb
It had fallen to the floor
of the bedroom where we slept together
twenty years.

Oh! The pain, in my foot,
and heart.

I miss you so much, sweetheart!
I see, and feel you everywhere.

 

[sandspike]

I see your point.

I wish the rest was that easy. Who or what is Gauchecritic?

 

[annaswirls]

I wish the rest was that easy. Who or what is Gauchecritic?

a writer here who noticed my inability to show in stories.



he has some poems here too