Your not getting much feedback because what you got there is something of a pre cursor, there's no sex just the hint that there will be sex soon. Most people don't comment on that, they gotta get to the hanky panky and then comment on if there was a thank you ma'am or not. 
Needs to be longer.
In all seriousness I have some around here somewhere I think, maybe it was thrown out again.
It's a good start, your not doing the see this hot chick with 32-26-32 measurements we look at each other and run to the bathroom or alley for a fuck without even asking names first.
You had good detail, and lack of detail, less is generally more descriptions of a body generally are best when there is less. Quick warning, if you continue to not describe the guy you will get complaints. I do the same thing with my stories, rarely do I mention what I looks like and some don't like that and want you to do it their way. Just ignore them and keep doing it your own way.
. Thanks also for making your feedback constructive, I half expected to receive a few "it's rubbish" responses and nothing else. It was my intent to avoid the "lets run to the bathroom" scenario, I suppose I was aiming for the erotic rather than pornographic but that really is all in ones own perception. I am a little confused by your comments regarding the level of detail and would appreciate your clarification to that point. Thanks for letting me learn form your expertise.
I'm a little surprised that you want to relate to the man in the story, I would have expected you to want to relate to the woman so you could indulge yourself as her. I appreciate your help, my writings are limited to this one and a few more that I am yet to publish. Literotica didn't spur me to write, true life and fantasy did and I'm in the stage of asking is Literotica where my stories will be appreciated.
Thanks for the feedback, I doubt there is a way you could offend me but thanks for trying if you did
