Should a father have a choice?

[unregistered]

 

[Wok]

As a percentage, women are more likely to be deadbeats than men.

The reason there are more deadbeat fathers is because courts default to awarding primary custody jointly or to the woman. There isn't a court in the U.S. that defaults to awarding custody to the father.

I'll have to dig up the study but there was one in particular that found that 95% of men orderded to pay child support do so as ordered. The exact same study found the complaince rate for women at 0%.

I would like to see that study. I guess I have been feed to much propaganda, and if true, stand corrected.

 

[Riles]

1. Use to be God, Judges, and juries.
2. Agree
3. Taking his possessions is so harsh.

I have a feeling we'd get along well as friends.

 

[Gord]

I have a feeling we'd get along well as friends.

I think you might of being working on a farm too long - I have never heard the word sire being used to describe a human before - a fucking big stallion yes but not us If we are the sire's what does that make you lot ?

 

[ma_guy]

I would like to see that study. I guess I have been feed to much propaganda, and if true, stand corrected.

I think it's more a matter of sheer numbers than propaganda. The courts are much more likely to award custody to the woman so the numbers of men ordered to pay is much, much higher to begin with.

 

[Plucky19]

I have a feeling we'd get along well as friends.

You just want to cut his balls off and take his stuff

hehe

 

[unregistered]

 

[biggsmall0669]

I feel bad for the father, but I don't think he should get final say in whether the child is not aborted. And yes, I do think he should have to pay child support, even if he wanted an abortion.

I would never abandon a child of my creation, however in the case that it does happen, I believe if the man knows he doesn't want the child while there can still be an abortion and the mother has the child anyways the man shouldn't have to pay for the next 18 years when he informed her he wanted nothing to do with a child.

 

[bg23]

Sounds fair to me.


I think it would suck to make a woman carry a baby to term legally and definitely violates a woman's right over her own body.

yeah, it does. but i think she has to take as much responsibility as the father.

if by voluntarily depositing his sperm into a woman's vagina, he is volunteering for fatherhood, and has no say in the matter, then by accepting his sperm voluntarily into her body, a woman is also volunteering for motherhood.

so long as one of them is going to take the kid, i don't think it should be aborted.

whether i'd want to see such a law...well, no. but theoretically, it'd be fair.

 

[Wok]

I think it's more a matter of sheer numbers than propaganda. The courts are much more likely to award custody to the woman so the numbers of men ordered to pay is much, much higher to begin with.

So it still goes back to it does not really matter if the dude did not want the kid or not; the guy still has to pay regardless. Now do not get me wrong, it is not the kid's fault he/she was born, it just seems to have a double standard.

 

[morewickedfun]

So it still goes back to it does not really matter if the dude did not want the kid or not; the guy still has to pay regardless. Now do not get me wrong, it is not the kid's fault he/she was born, it just seems to have a double standard.

It is.
I've said it above. He has no say in whether he becomes a parent. She gets to decide that on her own. He should have a say if he chooses not to parent. Not to contribute.

 

[Wok]

It is.
I've said it above. He has no say in whether he becomes a parent. She gets to decide that on her own. He should have a say if he chooses not to parent. Not to contribute.

Well, it is not that way unfortunately...

 

[morewickedfun]

Well, it is not that way unfortunately...

Nods and things should be changed.

 

[Riles]

I think you might of being working on a farm too long - I have never heard the word sire being used to describe a human before - a fucking big stallion yes but not us If we are the sire's what does that make you lot ?

Hush you!

I use the word "sire" because to me, a father or dad is a term earned through participation in more than just conception.

And yes, I've heard many gasps and groans from new-comers sitting down at my dinner table when conversation flows like such, " that old bottle teat cow spit that calf out like nothing, pass the peas please, and I think I need to needle the calf, it's spraying shit accross the pen, more gravey anyone? Looks like this new bull should be a real good sire, got a great sac on him and I saw him jerkin off in his stall earlier, must be one of the heifers coming in season, what did you want to drink, did you pick up those cleanings from the pen earlier, it still smelled like something died in there, pie anyone?

 

[unregistered]

 

[ma_guy]

So it still goes back to it does not really matter if the dude did not want the kid or not; the guy still has to pay regardless. Now do not get me wrong, it is not the kid's fault he/she was born, it just seems to have a double standard.

Yeah, pretty much. In more and more cases it's becoming apparent that the guy gets to be the parent even if he didn't have sex with the woman at all.

http://www.reason.com/news/show/29035.html

 

[Riles]

You just want to cut his balls off and take his stuff

hehe

Now plucky, didn't you read my laws? I've got my own stuff, I don't need his, or his balls, unless of course he's gonna sire my child and then run off with the maid.

 

[unregistered]

 

[ksmybuttons]

and in the UK too - I think the male race has brought on that problem itself - too many men did cut and run and leave the woman standing

Men today are in a way paying for what their predecessors did

We all pay for what our predecessors did in so many ways.

There isn't any decent birth control for men. I always layered them...multiple precautions and never had an unwanted pregnancy. Accidents aren't. It's just another word for carelessness.

You know, if you have sex with people that really matter to you, then there isn't a problem. Rape doesn't fit in here and I doubt anyone is going to say a raper has any rights to a child that's conceived in that situation.

So, I think a guy needs to remember going in that he doesn't have a choice if there is a pregnancy. He knows it up front and it becomes his issue if he wants to finance a pregnancy. He should think about it every time he dips. That's responsibility, too.

 

[Scouse B'stard]

That scares me, a child I put up for adoption coming back to ask "Why?"

And there's nothing you can say to make that child understand where you were at that
time in your life.

You think that's scary? Imagine donating to a sperm bank then 18 years later someone turning up on your door step looking for his/her dad...

 

[Riles]

You got a picture of this maid?

She's not hired yet. She'd come shortly after I got knocked up and started wearing nothing but sweats and bunny slippers and ordering out for every meal.

You'd find her in a strip joint, but swear that her resume reads like Mr. Clean, and her uniform would be the typical feather-duster-french-maid. I of course would be oblivious and completely blindsided by the demise of the 'luv of my life'.... shortly there after we'd be called on the Springer show and for sympathy votes, I would cross my legs and hold the kid in so I could make my appearance.

 

[Plucky19]

Now plucky, didn't you read my laws? I've got my own stuff, I don't need his, or his balls, unless of course he's gonna sire my child and then run off with the maid.

Damn maids!

 

[morewickedfun]

You think that's scary? Imagine donating to a sperm bank then 18 years later someone turning up on your door step looking for his/her dad...

Lets back up a bit and what if the woman who gets your sperm decides to seek support?

 

[isthisdesire]

We all pay for what our predecessors did in so many ways.

There isn't any decent birth control for men. I always layered them...multiple precautions and never had an unwanted pregnancy. Accidents aren't. It's just another word for carelessness.

You know, if you have sex with people that really matter to you, then there isn't a problem. Rape doesn't fit in here and I doubt anyone is going to say a raper has any rights to a child that's conceived in that situation.

So, I think a guy needs to remember going in that he doesn't have a choice if there is a pregnancy. He knows it up front and it becomes his issue if he wants to finance a pregnancy. He should think about it every time he dips. That's responsibility, too.

I think you and CC are saying about the same thing and I'm just gonna go ahead and agree here.

and I'm in the same boat as Plucky. I don't have sex with people I can't see myself having kids with. a pregnancy right now would be unwanted, but I know that boyfriend would support me and he knows I'd never be able to abort or give it up. that's one of the reasons we waited so long to have sex. we had to come to an understanding about what we would feel and do if an accident happened. that being said, we use two forms of birth control EVERY TIME.

the best thing to do is to avoid being in that situation at all. use birth control, fuck people who have similar opinions and who you would have children with.

 

[morewickedfun]

I think you and CC are saying about the same thing and I'm just gonna go ahead and agree here.

and I'm in the same boat as Plucky. I don't have sex with people I can't see myself having kids with. a pregnancy right now would be unwanted, but I know that boyfriend would support me and he knows I'd never be able to abort or give it up. that's one of the reasons we waited so long to have sex. we had to come to an understanding about what we would feel and do if an accident happened. that being said, we use two forms of birth control EVERY TIME.

the best thing to do is to avoid being in that situation at all. use birth control, fuck people who have similar opinions and who you would have children with.

Despite your attempts at responsibility, (birth control can and does fail) (this includes tubals and vasectomies) So despite this, if you were to get pregnant should your boyfriend have a say in whether to abort or not? Yes, you've made sure that he is on the same level as you in regards to children but people change their minds when it's actually on your plate.