Short Stoires - Need some pointers

[Ella_79]

This is my first posting on Literotica

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=305784

I normally write short stories, and since there is no category for them I've had to submit them as poems since they are under the required word count. Does anyone have any pointers on how to post as short stories?

I'd also love to hear what you have to think of my first short story, I wrote this one a few years ago.

Thanks
~Ella

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

This is my first posting on Literotica

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=305784

I normally write short stories, and since there is no category for them I've had to submit them as poems since they are under the required word count. Does anyone have any pointers on how to post as short stories?

I'd also love to hear what you have to think of my first short story, I wrote this one a few years ago.

Thanks
~Ella

The problem with this story, beyond the fact that it only has 291 words, is that it's not a story. You have not developed any character, there is no plot and all that happens is a short viginette of a rememberance of sex. It's a scene from a story. Stories begin at some place and time, the characters interact, then the story moves along to another time and/or place at an ending. This doesn't go anywhere.

It's beautifully written. I think you could expand this to a real story and do well with it. But you have to answer the questions, why is she remembering? Where or how did he leave? Is he coming back? Answer those and you have the beginnings of a good story.

If you need help, pm me. You show promise.

JJ

 

[drksideofthemoon]

I agree with Jenny, it's just too short, there is no story there.

You've shown us a scene, a vignette, the reader will be left with more questions than answers.

What you wrote, was well written. I would love to see something more from you, something longer.

As Jenny offered, I will offer too, if you want any help, don't hesitate to PM her or me.

Good Luck, and please keep writing.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

drk and Jenny are right. The rules here are you must post a story of 750 words min, so you were lucky to get posted.

We need a bit of character development - get to know the players - or we just click off.

You clearly can write, try a longer story.