Shoot! I started a thread by accident

[Mr Blonde]

A thread about generalized anxiety

[size=0.5]We are doing this thread in reverse. I accidently hit "new thread" instead of "new reply" and now we are covering my tracks. Based on first two replies, this topic will be about generalized anxiety.[/size]

What are people's experiences with submissives suffering from anxiety?

I can clearly remember a couple of my ex-girlfriends suffering from social anxiety. I did not think it was a clear trend or an explanation for them being submissive, however.

 

[Xelebes]

Threadjack!

How about Generalised Anxiety and BDSM.

I've noted from the BDSM personals that a lot of the male subs are afflicted by this. Is my poorly made observation hold some truth or what?

I know I have been afflicted with Generalised Anxiety with all my life.

 

[Phoenix Stone]

Ah, but if true, is it causative or corelative? ie. which came first the chicken or the egg?

(Do subs have generalized anxiety because they are subs -- if they do -- or is it being chased around with a whip that makes them that way? Or, is it one of those thingies where you the brain tries to explain what it's feeling after the fact, as was shown in some adrenaline studies? In other words, if one is anxious, might not one ingenious way to deal with it be to put oneself in anxiety-producing situations that can 'explain' the symptoms, thus normalizing them?)

 

[Mr Blonde]

[SIZE=0.5]Yes, this thread seems perfectly normal![/SIZE]

 

[Xelebes]

I don't know. It could also be a balancing act. When someone is perpetually anxious (like I am), there has to be an escape. I am assuming quite a few people with this turn to releasing their anxieties and tensions by being physically helped. A lot of the time, I feel like I am crazy and am doomed to go into the nuthouse, be put in a straight jacket and locked up to have some quiet time to dwell on things. I'm not sure if others deal with this but I find some form of pain usually breaks me from this downward spiral.

I don't know, really. Just some of my observations about myself.

 

[Phoenix Stone]

In other words, if one is anxious, might not one ingenious way to deal with it be to put oneself in anxiety-producing situations that can 'explain' the symptoms, thus normalizing them?)

Ah, so you suspect this one, then.

Not fessing up to much here, today, except to say that I can relate.

Frankly if one needs a release for perpetual anxiety, one could do worse.

The other possibility is that generalized anxiety -- and other things such as depression -- are common in the general population, so likely to be common in the pervy population, too. (And I mean pervy in the best possible way. )

This kinda parallels the childhood abuse/bdsm thread. Bet there are plenty of folks on here who Don't have this, too.

 

[Phoenix Stone]

oops

 

[Kajira Callista]

Re: A thread about generalized anxiety

[size=0.5]We are doing this thread in reverse. I accidently hit "new thread" instead of "new reply" and now we are covering my tracks. Based on first two replies, this topic will be about generalized anxiety.[/size]

What are people's experiences with submissives suffering from anxiety?

I can clearly remember a couple of my ex-girlfriends suffering from social anxiety. I did not think it was a clear trend or an explanation for them being submissive, however.

Anxiety is a form of depression. I have kind of noticed alot of Doms and subs tend to be anxious when in need of that adrenaline/endorphin and whatever else physically we all get from BDSM. Maybe the emotions (anxiety, depression, edgy,etc.) are our bodies way of letting us know its craving something? I do know that when the need in me starts to take over i am edgy/anxious, bitchy, sad and hyper all at once. I also know that once the need is satisfied in some way, i'm calm and at peace with myself again. My own personal opinion is that we all do become not only emotionally but physically addicted to this lifestyle, eventually the want becomes a need, which in turn causes alot of different emotional reactions...anxiety being one of them. Also maybe submissive personalites show anxiety in a more outward way because we are used to being open in that way (showing emotional state) where as a Dominant tends to be in control of emotions in a different way,even able to mask them from themselves?(hope it made sense, on my first cup of coffee here)

 

[Xelebes]

Ah, so you suspect this one, then.

Not really. More like the attempt to actually wind down. I don't feel any more anxiety from recieving pain, rather my anxiety goes up the wazoo when responsibility or a workload without any back-up for when I fail, gets placed on me. Probably the biggest reason why I don't drive vehicles and I don't do a bunch of other stuff, but I think all of that is really low self-confidence that is a result of the anxiety, lol.

The anxiety grows out of the need to double check everything and interferes with everything. The excape is probably finding something where you have no point of return - where being anxious will never get me anywhere and I must resign to my fears and accept them. This is different than normalising the anxiety.

 

[Etoile]

*raises hand*

I've had GAD (good ol' 300.02 in the DSM-IV) since I was very young. As a child I would panic around dogs and men (my biological father abused my mother before they divorced when I was 1 1/2 yrs old). While growing up, I'd freak out (read: have a panic attack) even if it was something as simple as a spilled glass of milk. I couldn't handle it.

My GAD wasn't diagnosed until I was 17, when I was also diagnosed with depression. I've been medicated for it off and on since then (though the medication for depression has been consistent). I've had immediate take-while-you're-panicking meds, and I've had daily meds that help reduce the overall low level of panic I feel all the time. Without them I flap my arms nervously and can't handle things - I have to be removed from the negative situation. In the 6+ years we've been together my girlfriend has gotten very skilled at talking me out of panic attacks. A major part of this is helping me realize that's what's going on, and also not faulting me for it - she knows it's a neurochemical issue. Once I have been convinced I'm having a panic attack, it's easier to calm down.

Sometimes I panic during time with Daddy, but e doesn't handle it as well. In fact e doesn't like it at all. Sometimes I panic if something hurts too much, or if I can't perform as Daddy wants me to. I do my usual freak-out with the flapping arms and high-pitched keening and everything. What's funny is that while it's happening, I know Daddy doesn't like it, and I keep trying to tell myself to snap out of it...but I can't.

 

[sunfox]

I'm afraid I can't contribute to the subs suffering from anxiety... I am very collected most of the time. My SO says I'm too calm, almost comatose most of the time, which is true.. even my blood pressure is chronically low, as if my heart were as laid back about everything as I am.

I handle things very easily, and it's usually me who does the calming down for him, under most circumstances.

Interesting thread though. Carry on.

 

[SwtSouthrnSub]

Re: Re: A thread about generalized anxiety

.

 

[Kajira Callista]

Re: Re: Re: A thread about generalized anxiety

Your post made me think, Kajira Callista.

Anxiety may not always be a form of depression, it can be a single emotional response or a combined response... as with those that experience manic-depressive mood swings. There are many life influences that can cause anxiety and depression, both treatable with medication if needed. Those that suffer from bi-polar disorder may or may not require extra treatment or therapy beyond medication, depending on the severity.

Anxiety may also be confused with an intense need for fufillment of one's needs, be it sexual, emotional or BDSM related. Theres a point where desire and frustration can become blurred and lead to a blue mood or anxiety.

I don't necessarily seek BDSM involvement as a venue to acquire a needed endorphine rush. If that happens, it happens at His will. (I wouldn't turn down the opportunity either, though) I have times where anxiety almost gets the best of me, but it doesn't connect with my involvement in the lifestyle. Anxiety without depression is often a product of stress. (Although there can be circumstances which lead to stress within individual D/s relationships)

As a relationship progresses, I can see where a submissive may crave more and more of the endorphine rush that his/her relationship provides. But there may also be a dependency issue in the making. A submissive is taught to be dependent on his/ her dominant or Master. Submissives may feel more intense emotions based on the honesty and trust required within a BDSM or D/s relationship. When needs aren't fufilled, anxiety can develop. Sometimes, this may be a part of their dominants or Master's plan for their submissive. It depends on the degree of control that they have mutually agreed upon.

Communication is vital if anxiety develops. Sorting through those feelings with your dominant or Master is very important.

Dominants and Masters are not "Gods." They may, at times provide the basis for anxiety within their submissives or slaves through actions that they may not realize are potentially harmful.

Anxiety should be dealt with no matter what the cost - be it within the context of honest comunication, or visits to the doctor's office. We must remain both safe and sane to participate within this lifestyle.

Maybe i was mistaken but i was under the impression that this thread was directed at anxiety "within the lifestlye" not particularly in general. My post was a simple one, my opinion and from my own experiences alone... but as i said, from what i read in this thread i was under the impression that it was focused on anxiety and D/s BDSM.

 

[Xelebes]

Anywho... got a new book. Trying it out.

Beyond Anxiety & Phobia - Edmund J. Bourne, PhD - New Harbinger Publications

Just checking it out.

 

[Etoile]

Speaking of books, has anybody tried M.S. Copeland's The Worry Control Workbook or any other anxiety workbooks?