Shifting middle age?

[nicklucas]

Hello. I'm new to Lit, so if this topic has been covered (or covered and recovered to the point of shabbiness, like your maiden aunt's divan), then I apologize. The search turned up no threads with a similar title.

I thought about this while devising a profile signature. How we define or plot a range for "middle age" or "middle years" has changed, hasn't it?

Many years ago, my mother had a glum spell when she turned 35 and "middle aged." Does anyone consider 35 to be middle-aged anymore?

I certainly don't. Then again, I'm 53. My colleagues in their 40s seem young to me. Those in their 30s? Hardly adults. In their 20s? Babies!

As for the other direction, I can remember when turning 60 meant you were officially old.

Does your mileage vary?

Perhaps my view is distorted because of my own advancing years. But I talk to a lot of people, socially and professionally. I doubt the collective, generally accepted range of 35-59 still holds.

Our lengthening average life spans (until recently, anyway) probably have something to do with the way we think of the middle of our lives. If the actuarials suggest you'll live longer than your parents or grandparents, then of course your notion of the middle will shift upward.

Is there something else at work? I can think of a few possibilities: i.e., more people staying healthy and active far longer than previous generations; anti-ageism campaigns; maybe even sex-positivism (appropriate for a forum here).

What do you think? I'm curious to know.

 

[SpeareChucker]

Remember how big a quarter used to be when you were a kid?

and how much candy it would buy?


Perception is ever-changing sand on a beach...
When you gaze out, things don't really change,
when you focus on a grain (you), things do change.

Middle age is like the middle class.
It's everything not on the extremes.

 

[Conager]

That's how the perception of one's own aging works. Other than some physical and appearance changes your "age" stays locked at whatever age you felt you had come of age. That is self and doesn't change.

That you-centric perspective makes it seem like it is the rest of the world changes. You will always see the world through the same eyes, the passage of time changes that poimtnof view, not at all.

Matthew McConaughey's character in "Dazed and Confused" described the phenomenon aptly. "They get younger and younger every year, I just stay the same."

Every year of your life will seem to pass more quickly than the preceding one, so even time changes, while you stay the same.

 

[SpeareChucker]

I hear that days are longer in the extremes;
when you're very young and when you're very old.

I can only vouch for the former...

What do you say about the latter Conager?

 

[SusanHaack]

You could always ask profgav69. He's well versed in barely legal and gilf, the whole age spectrum. Not a very cl3v3r fellow, and so ugly his wife hasn't fucked him in years but he does know age play. And incest. And ladyboys. And anal vibes.

 

[SpeareChucker]

You could always ask ...

That's an ugly post...

 

[SusanHaack]

That's an ugly post...

Truth hurts.

 

[SpeareChucker]

And Love Stinks

Do you have a point there?
Do you think that it is an established poster,
If not, what a fucking welcome wagon you roll out...

 

[SusanHaack]

If you want advice see a professional, amirite? Otherwise stay off a porn board and ask Dan Savage.

 

[LupusDei]

However, it's not just perception.

People do live longer and healthier lives, or more precisely, higher percentage of people do. There always been outliers, but I do believe there had been a recent and ongoing shift. Then, I'm of a region and variety where octogenarians riding bicycles and cutting grass with hand scythe were always seen as rater the norm. There's a basketball league for 75+. But times change too. Now, I'm honored to personally know three women who have given birth at 43-45 years. Sure I'm not twenty myself anymore, but it's not just celebrities, you can't really tell a girl at 45 from 25 apart reliably (and no, no plastic surgery). And yes, I also happen to know the other extreme, a woman who not only become grandmother before turning 40 (nothing extraordinary on it's own) but indeed looking the part, twice the age, or allegedly, closer to the "old" normal.

I'm optimistic, it will only go worse, the inequalities. I won't be terribly surprised to be of the last generation necessarily dying from "old age" although more probably that dubious honor goes to today's toddlers.

 

[SpeareChucker]

If you want advice see a professional, amirite? Otherwise stay off a porn board and ask Dan Savage.

It's about having some fun,
not making enemies and
embarrassing your host.

Unless, of course, you're the latest busybody alt.

 

[SpeareChucker]

Then Lupus, what you have is an elongation, not a shift,
because youth still ends at a certain age.
Ask anyone under 30...

 

[busygav69]

It's about having some fun,
not making enemies and
embarrassing your host.

Unless, of course, you're the latest busybody alt.

^^^^ minority racist.

 

[Lancecastor19]

Boomers were the Pepsi Generation. Youth Culture.

They still think they are "young", so until they stop being relevant to advertisers, 50 is the new 30, etc.

 

[nicklucas]

Boomers were the Pepsi Generation. Youth Culture.

They still think they are "young", so until they stop being relevant to advertisers, 50 is the new 30, etc.

Lance, this is sort of where where my thoughts were arcing. When did 50 become the new 30? (Presumably at some point after becoming the new 40. ) Assuming there has been a cultural/sociological shift in attitudes, did it just coincide with boomer milestone birthdays?

I see your point, and I agree to an extent, but I believe there are other forces at work beyond boomers having always been such a juicy advertising demographic that our Madison Avenue tastemakers flattered them and, in turn, convinced the rest of us.

As Lupus noted, it's far more common now to meet people of an age that used to be considered old and still in their primes. I know a guy in his 80s who runs at least 5 miles every day. He could definitely outrun me (as much a commentary on my fitness level as his). His wife, a darling woman in her 70s, teaches dancing. She once cracked a joke about "bedroom playthings" that made my wife blush (as much a commentary on ... oh, never mind).

If our common definition/range of middle age has indeed shifted, what is it now?

 

[Lancecastor19]

It's just Vanity Marketing....the same logic that made a Size 16 Dress an American Size 8.

 

[Conager]

I think you are right. Mirrors still give the same accurate image they always did, but our self appraisal of the old guy in the mirror as not "so old" based on what the huge slice of boomer demographic is being flattered with.

I was talking to a young woman the other night and made some comment about being older than the advent of something. Can't remember what as I bask in the flattery that if true I look good for my age.

I look every bit of my age, other than shaving off the more salt than pepper. She has grown up with images of people my age doing things I that my body probably can't do for any meaningful length of time.

 

[oggbashan]

My father in his 90s couldn't believe he was that old. But he did walk twenty miles on an average day. If he walked thirty he got tired.

When I was young, older people in the UK had grown up without the NHS and had medical problems that were not dealt with. A reasonably fit 60 year old looked old, older than a fit 80 year old would look now.

It is sobering to look at a newsreel of pedestrians on London Bridge in the 1930s and see how many moved with difficulty in their 40s - but some of them might have had injuries from WW1. Those injured in WW2 had better medical care. Only a very few elderly people now would have injuries from WW2. The whole population is in much better health than in any previous decade.

So, it's not just perception - people are living longer active lives than previous generations.

What was startling was the look of women in Southern Spain in the early 1950s. After about age twenty five they used to dress in shapeless mourning black and stay like that until they died. It was difficult to distinguish between a thirty year old and a sixty year old. Now, Spanish women dress much better through to their 70s.