she wants all the fun

[BlackPartridge]

We both have talked about concept of sharing. The problem is she won't allow the idea of me being with another woman. But wants herself to be shared.
but somehow I still I like the idea.

 

[magicalmoments]

We both have talked about concept of sharing. The problem is she won't allow the idea of me being with another woman. But wants herself to be shared.
but somehow I still I like the idea.

Provided you can cope with the reality of another man with your wife while you don't get to experience other women, you should go for it.

Would love to see some pics of her?

 

[switchersm]

cuckold

We both have talked about concept of sharing. The problem is she won't allow the idea of me being with another woman. But wants herself to be shared.
but somehow I still I like the idea.

Sound that she wants you to become her cucky.

 

[BlackPartridge]

Provided you can cope with the reality of another man with your wife while you don't get to experience other women, you should go for it.

Would love to see some pics of her?

For now I feel I can cope up. The adrenaline rush I get thinking about it makes my heart desire it to happen.

 

[Setanta84]

At least she's being honest with you. That's something.

Also, it might be better to not try to "even things out." It's easier for a woman to get laid than a dude. We generally want sex more and aren't as picky as women are if there is a returned sexual interest. If you try to compete with your female partner for that kind of attention, you're going to lose--and it could get weird.

 

[SlutAddicted]

I think that any extra-marital sexual activity is more likely to work out if there isn't an expectation of same treatment. The notion of reciprocity seems to me to be based upon the premise that someone is getting away with something. Whereas wife (or husband) sharing is about facilitating the other persons enjoyment.

It is healthy for both partners to facilitate the other's enjoyment of course but tit for tat or keeping score is not particularly healthy in my view.

As it relates to wife sharing I think there are two specific things to think about.

First of all, a woman's sexuality and physiology is such that she can legitimately enjoy sexual relations with more than one man and satisfy all of them. She may or may not need or desire more than one man but she can certainly enjoy and satisfy more than one. She can receive incremental pleasure from each man without taking any away from any of them. As a man you like the idea of variety and would like to think you can satisfy multiple lovers, but it is probably not true and it is unlikely that you physically "need" more than one if your SO is an attentive lover. Chances are that if you were with other women you would be spreading yourself thin and engaging in competition that may take away from the sexual pleasure you provide to your SO.

Secondly, don't compare your fantasy to her reality. If she is prepared to take control of her sexuality she can easily find and fuck men that she wants. That has as much to do with the receptivity of other men as any aspect of her, but that is the way it is. A man will have a much harder time finding a willing casual female sex partner and his fantasies of how it will work out are probably way off the mark.

All of that is not to say you should accept her fucking other guys or that your jealousy is unfounded. But IF you are truly past those things you wouldn't care about reciprocity. It would be more akin to any leisure activity.

If she is an amazing skier but a poor golfer and you are the opposite, you wouldn't feel compelled to both play each game. You would let her enjoy skiing without insisting on keeping up with her on every single hill - doing so would take away from her enjoyment without adding anything to you. And much as you might like the image of you doing double black diamond runs you know it is just a fantasy. The latitude to take an afternoon away skiing should be in her favour just as the latitude to play a round of golf should be in your favour.

If you are not able to deal with the jealousy then just don't go there. Reciprocity won't help. You will get competitive, lose badly and end up waiting for you turn with your own wife.

 

[geronimo_appleby]

We both have talked about concept of sharing. The problem is she won't allow the idea of me being with another woman. But wants herself to be shared.
but somehow I still I like the idea.

don't do it. destined for heartache.

 

[ConflictedOne]

I don't like the fact that she is telling you NO...

Have you asked her WHY?

 

[Aglaopheme]

We both have talked about concept of sharing. The problem is she won't allow the idea of me being with another woman. But wants herself to be shared.
but somehow I still I like the idea.

If you like the idea then good proceed with caution. However what SlutAddicted said about our ability to please multiple men etc may be true if you want to experience other women as well and she doesn't want to share then you still have so issues to work out. That's asking for nothing but trouble.

 

[policywank]

Jealousy is a powerful emotion. Like all emotions it is involuntary - it can't be willed away and any attempt to invalidate the feelings won't work. So be very careful what you talk yourself into.

However, as you explore your true feelings it can be helpful to consider the source of jealousy:
1) For most guys the immediate reaction is that the other man is somehow better. Obviously that might be the case but it is far from a universal truth. Women are not all inherently monogamous, we are entirely capable of enjoying sex with a man that we do not love and we enjoy variety as much as anybody. I do not have to renounce fish to enjoy steak. The proposition that "if you were taking care of your woman she wouldn't want other men" is ridiculous. Both genders eventually forego variety in exchange for the benefits of a longterm committed relationship - that is not the same as being so enthralled with your husband that you could never enjoy another man. You don't have to accept her being with other men but your relationship will be healthier if you don't insist on living the lie that it could never cross her mind.
2) Jealousy often involves not wanting to share a SO's attentions. But in a healthy relationship your SO will spend time with friends and family. If it goes too far and she starts neglecting you, you will rightly be jealous of the time she spends with others. But otherwise you are accepting of the fact that she has these other relationships including with people to whom she connects in a different way than she connects with you. Why is it so different if one of those friends is a sex partner? I think it is because what is being shared is deemed somehow more sacred because we have a baseline expectation of monogamy. It may be that for you monogamy is the right route but consider it on its own merits, not because it is the default assumption.
3) Societal expectations often make it impossible to fully form our own views or at least to rely solely on those views without regard to others. Even if we really believe monogamy is not for us we can be swayed by the judgment and sanctions of society. It's all well and good to say ignore what other people think but it does affect us in a very real way. If you are able to get past the notion that the other man is better or that you should have exclusivity over her I believe it is incumbent on her to be exceptionally careful and diligent to mitigate the social repercussions. I hate to say it but for women especially that means really stepping up to not delude yourself about how men act and behave. The vast majority of "other" men can not handle this in an open-minded way and if she wants to go down this road it is entirely incumbent on her to keep a handle on the other man.

 

[SlutAddicted]

If you like the idea then good proceed with caution. However what SlutAddicted said about our ability to please multiple men etc may be true if you want to experience other women as well and she doesn't want to share then you still have so issues to work out. That's asking for nothing but trouble.

Just to expand on my point, I would not automatically accept the one-sided nature of her request. You need to understand where she is coming from. I am just making the case that reciprocity is not an absolute.

 

[suckonsimon]

We both have talked about concept of sharing. The problem is she won't allow the idea of me being with another woman. But wants herself to be shared.
but somehow I still I like the idea.

My wife is such a hot fuck after she's been flirting with other guys. Multiply that by a factor of X and that's the home-coming sex which is coming your way mate. Her fun is gonna be your fun.

 

[screwher]

We both have talked about concept of sharing. The problem is she won't allow the idea of me being with another woman. But wants herself to be shared.
but somehow I still I like the idea.

I totally get that. After just over twenty years my wife is still bat shit crazy about me and would never be able to handle me with another woman. I myself though would love for our marriage to evolve to a semi open relationship where she gets fucked by other men. This is my fantasy, idea, "kink", whatever you want to call it.

Of course my situation is a little different. At the present your wife wants to be shared but doesn't want you doing it? Hmm... did she bring up the idea of her having sex with other men? Or did you? If she did - well she can't have her cake and eat it to. If you did then whatever she wants is fair ball, my friend. Ultimately you did say you liked the idea regardless. I say run with it.

 

[policywank]

Definitely important to understand why this interests her. There is no one right answer but her perspective will very much affect your understanding of whether you can accept the situation as well the likelihood that the experience is what she expects or is hoping for.

 

[SquareC]

Hmm... did she bring up the idea of her having sex with other men? Or did you? If she did - well she can't have her cake and eat it to. If you did then whatever she wants is fair ball, my friend. Ultimately you did say you liked the idea regardless. I say run with it.

I've never understood that saying...if you have cake, why shouldn't you eat it? Isn't eating it the entire point of having cake? In fact, the entire reason for the existence of cake is to be eaten.

On topic, the biggest thing in any sharing situation is communication. The two of you really need to be on the same page before anything happens to involve a third person. And "why/why not" is one of the first questions that should come up.

 

[littlecordelera]

We both have talked about concept of sharing. The problem is she won't allow the idea of me being with another woman. But wants herself to be shared.

*shrugs* Sounds fair to me.

 

[Setanta84]

I've never understood that saying...if you have cake, why shouldn't you eat it? Isn't eating it the entire point of having cake? In fact, the entire reason for the existence of cake is to be eaten.

On topic, the biggest thing in any sharing situation is communication. The two of you really need to be on the same page before anything happens to involve a third person. And "why/why not" is one of the first questions that should come up.

The point of the idiom is you can't retain possession of the cake AND eat it.

 

[SlutAddicted]

The point of the idiom is you can't retain possession of the cake AND eat it.

Thanks for that. I always found that one confusing.

 

[SlutAddicted]

I would say from experience that the only significant question right now is, can you deal with her fucking other men. If not, having the "right" to fuck other women will change little or nothing.

If you can deal with it then there is a broader discussion about what kind of poly relationship you two want. The fact that she is inclined to take the initiative doesn't necessarily mean anything but it does increase the chances that you have a real hot wife on your hands.

If that is something you two want to embrace, agree some basic parameters (including that she doesn't neglect your needs) and let her run with it.

 

[BlackPartridge]

I would say from experience that the only significant question right now is, can you deal with her fucking other men. If not, having the "right" to fuck other women will change little or nothing.

If you can deal with it then there is a broader discussion about what kind of poly relationship you two want. The fact that she is inclined to take the initiative doesn't necessarily mean anything but it does increase the chances that you have a real hot wife on your hands.

If that is something you two want to embrace, agree some basic parameters (including that she doesn't neglect your needs) and let her run with it.

Thanks.yeah am okay with her into poly relationship as long as its just sexual n I get to watch or hear the details.

 

[SlutAddicted]

Thanks.yeah am okay with her into poly relationship as long as its just sexual n I get to watch or hear the details.

Watching and hearing the details, participating or getting your sexual needs taken care of in some other way. Either way I think it must be a two-way street that benefits both of you. Just don't get caught in the trap of thinking the only way to do that is to have same treatment or think that same treatment will mitigate any of the other attendant emotional considerations.

For all my kinks I do not buy into the hot wife/cuckold scenario where the husband is neglected.

 

[NightL]

But wants herself to be shared.

The word "share" - like you have any control over the situation...

she won't allow the idea of me being with another woman

well you could always be with another man and deny her, then say "So there!"

 

[Learin]

well you could always be with another man and deny her, then say "So there!"

https://stancarey.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/futurama-fry-should-i-lol-or-roflmao.jpg

 

[MrSneakyinPA]

We both have talked about concept of sharing. The problem is she won't allow the idea of me being with another woman. But wants herself to be shared.
but somehow I still I like the idea.

Man on MAN!! That would be absolutely PERFECT if my wife said that. You have no idea my friend.

 

[Feelfreetotouch]

Ah jealousy... it will rip you apart. Just when you thought you were ok with sharing, you're brought to your knees with emotional pain. The feeling of betrayal soon follows and your ability to remain cool and not looking like a graveling fool malfunctions. Good luck.