she finally admited it

[wild_turkey1016]

Well my wife finally admited her infedelity. I have had inklings for months but couldn't bring myself to do anything about it. A couple of days before Christmas I confronted her once again and she said yes she is having an affair and she is filing on 3 Jan. She left yesterday with my kids to go away for the New Years weekend with her lover and his family.

She told me she had been dating for about 2 years. Was I ever blind. The signs were there and I knew on some level but denial is a powerful emotion. It prevented me from protecting myself. She always accused me of cheating which I never did. She swore that she could never do that to her children. Me thinks thou dost protest too much.

Anyone else have this happen to? Anyone else see the signs but refuse to beleive?

 

[babydoll2u]

Well my wife finally admited her infedelity. I have had inklings for months but couldn't bring myself to do anything about it. A couple of days before Christmas I confronted her once again and she said yes she is having an affair and she is filing on 3 Jan. She left yesterday with my kids to go away for the New Years weekend with her lover and his family.

She told me she had been dating for about 2 years. Was I ever blind. The signs were there and I knew on some level but denial is a powerful emotion. It prevented me from protecting myself. She always accused me of cheating which I never did. She swore that she could never do that to her children. Me thinks thou dost protest too much.

Anyone else have this happen to? Anyone else see the signs but refuse to beleive?

{{{{{wild_turkey}}}}}
I'm so sorry for your hurt hun...

 

[done_got_old]

Well my wife finally admited her infedelity. I have had inklings for months but couldn't bring myself to do anything about it. A couple of days before Christmas I confronted her once again and she said yes she is having an affair and she is filing on 3 Jan. She left yesterday with my kids to go away for the New Years weekend with her lover and his family.

She told me she had been dating for about 2 years. Was I ever blind. The signs were there and I knew on some level but denial is a powerful emotion. It prevented me from protecting myself. She always accused me of cheating which I never did. She swore that she could never do that to her children. Me thinks thou dost protest too much.

Anyone else have this happen to? Anyone else see the signs but refuse to beleive?

File for divorce and seek custody of your children. Use her infidelity as grounds. The trip will help prove your case.

This has never happened to me because I refuse to knowingly allow someone to hurt me. I learned as a child that, "where there's smoke, there's fire."

As hard as it may seem, you will can get over this. Don't spend time beating yourself up for not taking action earlier. Take it now!

 

[LorriLove]

i feel for you turkey sweetheart... the wicked woman should not have treated you that way, she should have been honest and up front from the start... marriages do fall apart, that's life, but a little honesty doesn't go amiss.

and done got old's right, no smoke without fire, don't be so damn laid back and trusting in future.

 

[SexyChele]

I agree with done_got_old - file first! Try to get in touch with an attorney immediately! And try to get custody of the kids. Taking the children away from their father and being with her "john" (I wouldn't even condone this with the word "lover" - that would be an abomination to my way of thinking) is cruel. I'm not sure how old your kids are, but this just isn't right. If she wanted to go whoring with this jackass, fine. Leave the kids with their father to ring in the New Year. But to have her kids play witness to their mother being treated like a common whore? That should make you angry enough to demand the kids stay with you.

Good luck! This is going to be tough, but you cannot afford to wallow in pity at this time. Your kids need you.

 

[bethesdabob]

Real sorry for what you're going through, I know your pain.

I discovered that my wife had been having an affair, at the time my 3 kids were all less than 10.

I moved out, we reconciled about three months later, I could never really forget how I had been deceived.

I got over it, became lots more involved with my kids, that helped the pain a lot.

 

[Donsehan]

yeah, done got old's got a point, otherwise she'll take them away from you. I'm young, and I know that if I had a kid, I definately wouldn't want some person who took my heart and crushed it to take my kid/kids away from me.

 

[jacuzzigal]

I agree with done_got_old - file first! Try to get in touch with an attorney immediately! And try to get custody of the kids.

I third this.

Best of luck to you, WT.

 

[corkie2]

Well my wife finally admited her infedelity. I have had inklings for months but couldn't bring myself to do anything about it. A couple of days before Christmas I confronted her once again and she said yes she is having an affair and she is filing on 3 Jan. She left yesterday with my kids to go away for the New Years weekend with her lover and his family.

She told me she had been dating for about 2 years. Was I ever blind. The signs were there and I knew on some level but denial is a powerful emotion. It prevented me from protecting myself. She always accused me of cheating which I never did. She swore that she could never do that to her children. Me thinks thou dost protest too much.

Anyone else have this happen to? Anyone else see the signs but refuse to beleive?

This kind of behavior is allot more common than people want to believe. My daughter's BF did about the same thing to her a year ago this coming February. He said he was taking their 3 yr old to visit his parents in VA and would return in a few days. I even have a recording from my answering machine where he is saying that he would be back and would call me.

Speaking from experience the advice I would give you is this:

First.........ASAP without any delay what so ever GET YOURSELF A LAWYER you need one like yesterday. If you don't you will find yourself in a mess. Especially if she has one........sad but true fact.

Next start documenting everything that happens.....I mean everything. Keep a journal where you write down what happens. It is usable in court and very helpful in keeping dates and facts straight. You are even allowed to use it to refresh your memory if you wind up having to testify in court.

Document all phone calls to both her and your children. Dates, times and outline what was said writing down in quotes anything that is important. You have to be a bit obsessive about it but it is very important to remember this stuff if things get nasty between you and your wife.

Keep all bits of paper you get in a file that is solely dedicated to your case.

Don't think you are alone in this.


Here are some helpful links for you. Some are aimed at mothers but the same laws apply. (these are from my links file for custody research for my daughter)




http://ancpr.org/courts.htm



http://www.custody911.com/nf_custody_mothers.htm


http://www.law.cornell.edu/statutes.html#state



http://www.ncsconline.org/D_KIS/info_court_web_sites.html


Most importantly do everything you can do to not engage in name calling and arguing with your wife in front of your kids. Never bad mouth her to your kids or in front of them. The courts are most impressed with parents who remain business like and put the kids first. The court does not care about your anger at her or what she says or does to you when it comes to custody. It is about the kids. If you cannot talk to her do it through your lawyer and do not discuss the case with the kids......it is off limits. Do not use them as go betweens.......to carry messages or whatever between you.

Another good thing is to use e-mail as much as possible to discuss things with her. That way she is putting what she says and does in writing..........*EG* it is admissible in court. Save them and print them to put in a nice little organized notebook. (this method helped a friend of mine get custody of his son BIG TIME)

Good luck and you can PM me if you like...........

corkie