Shay...

[nh23]

Shay, I'm angry. I'm really angry. I was just going to let it go, but the more I've thought about it... The more I've realized that it's people like you that are keeping those on here who have valuable opinions and advice from posting on here. We talked yesterday for quite some time in PM's and on messenger. You had some concerns, I tried to be as helpful and I could. Yes others can be catty, yes others can be judgemental, so on and so forth. I listened and didn't judge when you told me that you were a slave, a sub, a dom, a switch. That just about every bad thing that can happen in life has happened to you. I tried to be as understanding as I could and help someone in need. I told you the same thing I've been posting on here. There is very good advice on Lit, sometimes you have to weed out the bullshit yes. There have been a lot of trolls on here lately. That yes sometimes it seems that the others are hard on newbies, but just stick around. Make yourself and you situation known. Boy, do I feel like an complete and utter ass. I'm fully aware now of why the others have reacted to you the way they have. You gave me the address to another forum that discusses BDSM issues. Hmm..wonder what I found when I went there? You whining about how I attacked you here on Lit, and how everyone on Lit was so mean to you. Let's get something clear. A difference in opinion or making a point more clear is not " attacking" you. Jesus Christ, put on your big girl panties and deal. And even more disturbing.. You who have been coming here asking all of these questions as a newbie are the fucking admimistrator of the other forum! You do realize that your leading the sheep right to the wolves..right? How can you be an expert on something you know so little about. I know what your going to say.. You research, You've read and experienced so much. Well if that's the case, why so many questions here? So the other subs are being rude to you..they won't answer any more of your questions? Woo fucking Hoo! Good for them. They were smarter than me. They got wise a lot faster than I did. Go back, read my posts, I'm never rude to others. This is abnormal for me, but I'm here for advice and to be around like minded people. some of those who can give it aren't posting anymore because of all this bullshit. And they are sorely missed. I'm done with my rant now.

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

Shay, I'm angry. I'm really angry. I was just going to let it go, but the more I've thought about it... The more I've realized that it's people like you that are keeping those on here who have valuable opinions and advice from posting on here. We talked yesterday for quite some time in PM's and on messenger. You had some concerns, I tried to be as helpful and I could. Yes others can be catty, yes others can be judgemental, so on and so forth. I listened and didn't judge when you told me that you were a slave, a sub, a dom, a switch. That just about every bad thing that can happen in life has happened to you. I tried to be as understanding as I could and help someone in need. I told you the same thing I've been posting on here. There is very good advice on Lit, sometimes you have to weed out the bullshit yes. There have been a lot of trolls on here lately. That yes sometimes it seems that the others are hard on newbies, but just stick around. Make yourself and you situation known. Boy, do I feel like an complete and utter ass. I'm fully aware now of why the others have reacted to you the way they have. You gave me the address to another forum that discusses BDSM issues. Hmm..wonder what I found when I went there? You whining about how I attacked you here on Lit, and how everyone on Lit was so mean to you. Let's get something clear. A difference in opinion or making a point more clear is not " attacking" you. Jesus Christ, put on your big girl panties and deal. And even more disturbing.. You who have been coming here asking all of these questions as a newbie are the fucking admimistrator of the other forum! You do realize that your leading the sheep right to the wolves..right? How can you be an expert on something you know so little about. I know what your going to say.. You research, You've read and experienced so much. Well if that's the case, why so many questions here? So the other subs are being rude to you..they won't answer any more of your questions? Woo fucking Hoo! Good for them. They were smarter than me. They got wise a lot faster than I did. Go back, read my posts, I'm never rude to others. This is abnormal for me, but I'm here for advice and to be around like minded people. some of those who can give it aren't posting anymore because of all this bullshit. And they are sorely missed. I'm done with my rant now.

oh my.......

Additional commentary of my opinion may be gratuitous at this stage , so I'll desist.

I hope you are okay NH23

 

[shy slave]

Brave post nh23

Thank you

 

[catalina_francisco]

Hope you're feeling better nh23. If it's any comfort, a lot of us have been taken in at some point of another by similar personalities. Not trying to be inflammatory but I tend these days to be cynical when I see them, and figure their main purpose in life is to get attention at any cost, even if it means making up stories about who and what they are. They usually get bored after awhile once they no loger are getting their fix and find people are not falling over themselves to agree with and help them in their tragic tales.

Of course, if she is running us down to others in her own forum, and saying how mean we are to her, it must make at least some people there question the truth in it or at least begin to look at her differently and not in the least positively...unless of course they don't think for themselves which would be sad. So perhaps we will find some more new faces popping up here to check us out and draw their own conclusions? Perhaps her whole purpose in coming here with her rapid fire questions was to get some legitimate answers she could pass off as her own in her forum...sort of trying to give herself some creedence....oh well, if she is, somewhere along the line the smarter people will see there isn't anything to back it up. Sad really.

Catalina

 

[reignophelia]

Shay, I'm angry. I'm really angry. I was just going to let it go, but the more I've thought about it... The more I've realized that it's people like you that are keeping those on here who have valuable opinions and advice from posting on here. We talked yesterday for quite some time in PM's and on messenger. You had some concerns, I tried to be as helpful and I could. Yes others can be catty, yes others can be judgemental, so on and so forth. I listened and didn't judge when you told me that you were a slave, a sub, a dom, a switch. That just about every bad thing that can happen in life has happened to you. I tried to be as understanding as I could and help someone in need. I told you the same thing I've been posting on here. There is very good advice on Lit, sometimes you have to weed out the bullshit yes. There have been a lot of trolls on here lately. That yes sometimes it seems that the others are hard on newbies, but just stick around. Make yourself and you situation known. Boy, do I feel like an complete and utter ass. I'm fully aware now of why the others have reacted to you the way they have. You gave me the address to another forum that discusses BDSM issues. Hmm..wonder what I found when I went there? You whining about how I attacked you here on Lit, and how everyone on Lit was so mean to you. Let's get something clear. A difference in opinion or making a point more clear is not " attacking" you. Jesus Christ, put on your big girl panties and deal. And even more disturbing.. You who have been coming here asking all of these questions as a newbie are the fucking admimistrator of the other forum! You do realize that your leading the sheep right to the wolves..right? How can you be an expert on something you know so little about. I know what your going to say.. You research, You've read and experienced so much. Well if that's the case, why so many questions here? So the other subs are being rude to you..they won't answer any more of your questions? Woo fucking Hoo! Good for them. They were smarter than me. They got wise a lot faster than I did. Go back, read my posts, I'm never rude to others. This is abnormal for me, but I'm here for advice and to be around like minded people. some of those who can give it aren't posting anymore because of all this bullshit. And they are sorely missed. I'm done with my rant now.

I agree with Catalina. I can see a brighter side to this.

I never interacted with her one on one, but just watching from the periphery, two things came to mind: naive and self-absorbed. I'm sorry to add abusive to the list. I'm so sorry that you had to experience this abuse. I hope you are feeling better.
Administrator on the other forum eh? Hmm...
Well, let them come over and see for themselves. My glass is half full.


-R

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Y'all seem to be more forgiving and tolerant of asshattery than I am. Too bad NH23 didn't give us the addy of that other board, so some of us could go there and post links to Shay threads here, so the members there could see what a user she (?) is. But as I said, some people are more forgiving and tolerant than I.

 

[nh23]

oh my.......

Additional commentary of my opinion may be gratuitous at this stage , so I'll desist.

I hope you are okay NH23

Yes, feeling much better now rebecca. Thank You!

 

[nh23]

Brave post nh23

Thank you

Your Welcome! I hate to be that way, but enough is enough you know?

 

[nh23]

Hope you're feeling better nh23. If it's any comfort, a lot of us have been taken in at some point of another by similar personalities. Not trying to be inflammatory but I tend these days to be cynical when I see them, and figure their main purpose in life is to get attention at any cost, even if it means making up stories about who and what they are. They usually get bored after awhile once they no loger are getting their fix and find people are not falling over themselves to agree with and help them in their tragic tales.

Of course, if she is running us down to others in her own forum, and saying how mean we are to her, it must make at least some people there question the truth in it or at least begin to look at her differently and not in the least positively...unless of course they don't think for themselves which would be sad. So perhaps we will find some more new faces popping up here to check us out and draw their own conclusions? Perhaps her whole purpose in coming here with her rapid fire questions was to get some legitimate answers she could pass off as her own in her forum...sort of trying to give herself some creedence....oh well, if she is, somewhere along the line the smarter people will see there isn't anything to back it up. Sad really.

Catalina

Yes, your right Cat, and I myself will be more careful in the future. What was really sad about the other forum is that they really look up to her there. Most of them seem to be pretty new to the lifestyle and are taking her word as gospel. I hope some of them venture here to see how things really are. Oh, I'm sure she was using the answers she got here as her own. Thank You Cat.

 

[nh23]

Y'all seem to be more forgiving and tolerant of asshattery than I am. Too bad NH23 didn't give us the addy of that other board, so some of us could go there and post links to Shay threads here, so the members there could see what a user she (?) is. But as I said, some people are more forgiving and tolerant than I.

The other forum is a group on cafemom.com called Different Loving. It's a private group, so your supposed to have an invitation to join. Although Shay is the one who approves the new members, and she didn't recognize who I was when I applied to the group. So, if you really wanted to post on there I'm sure it wouldn't be hard. ( Well maybe now she will be paying attention ) I try to be forgiving and tolerant to everyone. I will however as I stated be more careful in the future.

 

[RawHumor]

The other forum is a group on cafemom.com called Different Loving. It's a private group, so your supposed to have an invitation to join. Although Shay is the one who approves the new members, and she didn't recognize who I was when I applied to the group. So, if you really wanted to post on there I'm sure it wouldn't be hard. ( Well maybe now she will be paying attention ) I try to be forgiving and tolerant to everyone. I will however as I stated be more careful in the future.

If you're a member there, then post a link to one of her threads (or a few of her threads) here.

I also noticed that she seemed quite confused. As you said, going from domme to sub to slave to whatever, and then wanting advice for her friend... starting several threads each day asking for advice.

It's a shame, too, cuz I kinda liked her Am Pics thread.

 

[nh23]

If you're a member there, then post a link to one of her threads (or a few of her threads) here.

I also noticed that she seemed quite confused. As you said, going from domme to sub to slave to whatever, and then wanting advice for her friend... starting several threads each day asking for advice.

It's a shame, too, cuz I kinda liked her Am Pics thread.

I'm not longer a member of the group. I guess I should have kept my membership, but I was angry and when I saw the things she was posting I deleted my membership. I thought about posting there when I first read everything, but I didn't feel that it would be effective. They really seem to look up to her over there. The way I see it the more she bitches about Lit, the more likely it is they will come over here for a look of their own.

 

[sexycaz22]

{{{{HUGS}}}} nh23

I have to agree with you there, Shay have asked so many questions; and changes her mind constantly about who she is....

Makes me think whether if she is really serious about the BDSM or not.......

I am really sorry for your bad experience with Shay, and is very surprised to find that Shay is the administrator over at the other site....that's terrible, especially since she were saying that she were new to the bdsm lifestyle.

Hope you feel better after posting on here with your feelings/emotions.

 

[Chris_Xavier]

Damn.. where is the bun-meister.. she'd really enjoy this?

 

[nh23]

{{{{HUGS}}}} nh23

I have to agree with you there, Shay have asked so many questions; and changes her mind constantly about who she is....

Makes me think whether if she is really serious about the BDSM or not.......

I am really sorry for your bad experience with Shay, and is very surprised to find that Shay is the administrator over at the other site....that's terrible, especially since she were saying that she were new to the bdsm lifestyle.

Hope you feel better after posting on here with your feelings/emotions.

Yes, she does seem to be very confused. I mentioned that to her yesterday. How confusing it must be to feel that you are so many different things. I do feel a lot better. And I'm so glad I posted this thread. It reminds me how much I love Lit, and those on here how are genuine.

 

[RawHumor]

So... from what people are saying, it seems that someone asks her a question over there, and then she asks us over here, and then she relays our answers as her own nuggets of wisdom to the original asker of the question?

 

[nh23]

Damn.. where is the bun-meister.. she'd really enjoy this?

LOL....

 

[nh23]

So... from what people are saying, it seems that someone asks her a question over there, and then she asks us over here, and then she relays our answers as her own nuggets of wisdom to the original asker of the question?

Yep.. You got it.

 

[HottieMama]

nh...i also own a group over on CafeMom that Shay is a member of.

Looks like i will be deleting her from my group.

 

[sexycaz22]

So... from what people are saying, it seems that someone asks her a question over there, and then she asks us over here, and then she relays our answers as her own nuggets of wisdom to the original asker of the question?

Yep.. You got it.

That's disgusting. A very unkind thing to do.....umm got other words in my mind...but I am too nice to say so!

I talked with someone from CollarMe, about safety tips etc, and I took some advice from a thread on here, BUT, I said where I got it from, and that it were not my own advice.

For me, it is very polite and nice to tell someone where you are getting the advice from, and from whom, rather than passing it off as your own advice and pretending to know everything.

 

[His_pita]

My dom had a few PM's from her, and she even sent him the link to her forum telling him to feel free to give it to me. I glanced at it but don't have time for a new forum in my life. My Sir is a very helpful and kind to newbies and when she PMed with questions he answered.

I had a PM conversation with her once and even gave her my IM name so that we could chat. I have been too busy to open IM, and frankly we both developed not so good vibes. We believe in listening to our feelings about people, especially those we interact with online.

At first I thought all the new threads were funny and coming from someone naive and seeking attention. But after reading that she has been bad mouthing people from here that is just plain childish.

 

[catalina_francisco]

The other forum is a group on cafemom.com called Different Loving. It's a private group, so your supposed to have an invitation to join. Although Shay is the one who approves the new members, and she didn't recognize who I was when I applied to the group. So, if you really wanted to post on there I'm sure it wouldn't be hard. ( Well maybe now she will be paying attention ) I try to be forgiving and tolerant to everyone. I will however as I stated be more careful in the future.

LOL, well then that just verifies how bright she is doesn't it...not even cottoning on it was you after giving you the address?!! Sheesh, I didn't even think she was that lacking in brain cells.

As to not getting caught again, try not to let it jade you too much. We often get flack here for being cool or suspicious toward newer memebers, posting links to previous threads which deal with the same issue etc., but this is just why we get that way. As unsociable as it may seem, I and others tend to try and wait a bit to see if they stick around and what they have to say...unfortunately from Shay's first post I found it difficult to take her seriously and thought perhaps I was just getting too jaded. She is only hurting herself because firstly she can never hope to make real firends when she bases her intereactions on lies, and secondly she must be very unhappy and frustrated in her own life to feel the need to go to such lengths to pretend to be something she isn't. Let's hope whoever she/he is, they find a way to open up more and be a little authentic and honest in their life so it doesn't become a complete waste.

Catalina

 

[nh23]

nh...i also own a group over on CafeMom that Shay is a member of.

Looks like i will be deleting her from my group.

I hate that.. I really do. But, the things she is doing are just not right. She has no idea how much she can be impacting others who are new to the lifestyle over there.

 

[CutieMouse]

Wow... that's terribly sad on many many levels.

Looking at this from a very detached logical standpoint, it's possible the whole thing could be seen as a rather extreme form of "sub frenzy"... a passionate desire to "spread the gospel" of kink, if you will. Sad, but almost understandable.

If one were more cynical, it could easily be seen as a calculated effort... a stepping stone to (eventually) building a BDSM website. Cold and lazy; not very understandable at all.

In a distant sort of way, I can feel myself rather pissed off to find my advice to Shay was plagerized (even though I don't have a lot of energy to waste on that, at the moment). I spent *years* getting to a place where I was capable of giving that sort of advice; I'm sitting here thinking my personal life is falling apart, in the midst of that I still reached out to help someone else "starting their journey" (and was told how mean I was being by a few forum regulars, in the process)... and it was all a scam. Sigh. I do hope her posts elsewhere about how badly she was treated by the Lit BDSM boards, will pique people's curiosity, and they'll lurk long enough to discover this place can be a treasure trove of knowledge and experience, then join the conversations here... Sadly, it's more likely she'll burn through a few more online forums. (I seem to remember she was asking for more resources at some point...)

Interesting historical sidenote, the stealing of knowledge [books], is considered one of the most heinous crimes possible, and [if you believe such things] carries a terrible terrible curse that will doom the thief to the darkest pits of Hell. Plagerists don't share the same pit, but they live on the same block... I like to believe the same curses apply, even if the medium used is electronic, rather than ink and vellum.

Back to being quiet...

(edited to fix a grammar typo)

 

[nh23]

That's disgusting. A very unkind thing to do.....umm got other words in my mind...but I am too nice to say so!

I talked with someone from CollarMe, about safety tips etc, and I took some advice from a thread on here, BUT, I said where I got it from, and that it were not my own advice.

For me, it is very polite and nice to tell someone where you are getting the advice from, and from whom, rather than passing it off as your own advice and pretending to know everything.

What makes it even worse to me is that while she is passing this information off as her own, the whole time she is bitching about how horrible Lit is.