Shadow Steps (Closed for Asa)

[Asa]

She smiled a little watching him fall asleep then she hurried from the room she was not sure what to think or do about the kiss and hoped it was just something brought on by being punch drunk from the Painkillers or something like that. Someone having any kind of feelings like that for her was not something that made any sense to her.

 

[raiguy]

The next few days passed slowly for Ryan. He slept on and off, and every time he was awake, he hoped he would see Liria. When she didn't show up after two days, he decided to not let his hopes get up and figured she'd be busy. He was now looking forward to leaving the hospital simply to get away from the hustle and noises.

 

[Asa]

She was there at his place with the home health nurse from the base. Introducing Ryan to Garrett handing him the file of Garrett's credentials working with 3 or 4 World renown hospitals as well as military med work.

SO I guess I will leave you two to get to know each other and Garrett start working. She knew they would get along and suspected that Garrett and Ryan would talk about at least her stubborn streak or who knows what all. She really didn't care but her father and uncles suspected that Ryan might like her though she could not see why they barely knew each other.

 

[raiguy]

Ryan grunted a bit in hello to Garrett. He was tired and hadn't had a really good day. He realized how nch he liked Liria, but knew she wouldn't return it. He slowly got more despondent as he saw Liria standing with his nurse. He didn't care about credentials. He just wanted Liria to understand and maybe return his feelings.

As Ryan slid into his bed, he rolled away onto his good shoulder, determined to ignore her since he would just get worse seeing her smile.

 

[Asa]

Garrett looked to Ryan then to Pitiable.

Lir go on back to work I got this. Need to talk to my patient for a few.

There was something in his tone that would lend to him seeing what was hidden in Ryan's actions. Liria shrugged nodding.

Talk to ya later Ryan.

Once she was gone Garrett looked over.

So you like the Col. daughter? What ya wanna know?

 

[raiguy]

Ryan just shook his head.

"She's made it pretty clear she isn't interested, so there isn't lot that will help. The more I know, the more it's going to hurt if and when she rejects my feelings." he muttered, tired of it all.

His profession hadn't left for any room for love or any kind of romance, and it seemed like whoever was pulling the strings on his life had decided that the one girl he had to fall for had to be the girl who appeared to not want him.

"You can tell me anything you want, but I don't know how it would really help. If you have any ideas, please share though," Ryan said, rolling onto his back, lost in thought.

 

[Asa]

Ya have to understand the Col. daughter. you have read his file... can you imagine growing up female in that house. She was a soldier in training in his eyes from the time she could handle a gun. Then high school hit and a young man asked if he could date her thats when the half soldier half china doll view he now has of his daughter came into play. With the soldier part she never really cared for anything emotional cause she never really had to deal with it growing up in any way that a normal person would understand it.

Garrett sat there watching his reaction what he had told him thus far.

 

[raiguy]

"So basically she doesn't know what love is or how to handle someone caring about her?" Ryan asked, figuring that his hopes just hit the rocks with what Garrett told him.

 

[Asa]

In a nutshell... yeah. It would take the right person to be patient and not freak her out. Give her time... I think she could in time learn to deal wih it and like someone interested in more than just her work and who her dad is though getting on the Col good side would be a good start too.

Garrett shrugged watching the guy.


Step one is you gotta ask yourself if you can handle waiting this out and moving at her pace?

 

[raiguy]

"That's a dumbass question. If I didn't think it was worth it, I wouldn't be in this bed with bullet wounds healing," Ryan said sarcastically. He knew she was worth waiting for, but just didn't know if she would ever come around.

 

[Asa]

That was all before what I told you. So still worth it? Treating her like a wilting violet or helpless is not the way to go.

Garrett was not sure this kid was right for her but psych was one of his specialties so that was why he was here.

 

[raiguy]

"I never tried to treat her like she was helpless, only wanted her to realize what she was getting into. It's not over either. They'll be back, or another case will come up where it gets worse. I know Liria can take care of herself. When someone in my line of work is called in, it becomes something that she isn't ready to handle on her own. That was all I was trying to do," Ryan said, rolling back over, tired of his psychological bullshit. He knew why the guy was here, and he was tired of talking in circles or giving information for her dad to use.

 

[Asa]

So far he could not tell if this Ryan kid would be serious or would bail. Liria was not going to be easy to deal with in the beginning he knew that and this guy's attitude was not convincing him that he would be able to handle her.

Several days of care with random visits from the Col or Liria and he still was not convinced. The Col may have had his hopes that this guy could get through to her but so far he was not convinced.

 

[raiguy]

Ryan was tired of Garrett. He knew when he was being analyzed. Finally he had had enough. He knew he was getting a visit by someone today so pulled Garrett aside.

"Look. You've been analyzing me for the past week, trying to discern whether or not I'd be good for Liria. The fact is that you don't know shit about me, or whether or not I'll be good for her. All your psych background doesn't mean a fucking thing. If you are done pretending to act like you know what's best for her, and what I can and can't do, leave. I'm tired of you cross-examining me, trying to figure out if I can stay and be patient. I've already told you multiple times that I genuinely care for her, and that I will be here as long as she lets me, and then some. You have chosen not to believe me, so that's fine. Get your shit and get the fuck out of my house," Ryan said, his pistol in his hand, a subtle reminder to Garrett that he was tired of being an experiment.

Ryan knew for a fact that he would be there for Liria no matter how much she pushed. He would never push back, just be patient and wait for her to open up on her own. He knew what it took to get her to figure out her own feelings, and was more than willing to bust his ass to make it work between the two of them. He didn't need some prick telling him or anyone else that he wasn't good enough for her.

 

[Asa]

The Col Rested a gun at Ryans back. Son you ever pull a weapon on one of mine again and we won't have to worry if you are good enough or strong enough to wait on my little girl now will we. Garrett head back to the base. LIria will make up her own mind you know that Ryan here nor you or I will be able to do anything about it till she does.

The Col moved around and stared him in the face.

Your first fuck up kid was messing with the 9mm of hers. Your second fool mistake was breaking into her place. Your holier than though you are the only one with a lick of sense attitude is another mistake with her... So you wanna keep acting like a jackass or tone it down a little hat in hand it and try to start over with Liria if you truly do care about her.

 

[raiguy]

Ryan just laughed.

"Go ahead and shoot me. The reason why I did that was to try to help her stay alive. I don't act holier than thou. I've killed people for a living, so you think I don't know that you think I'm a piece of shit? You think I don't think I'm a piece of shit? That I'm not worthy of your daughter? I've thought about that since the first day I realized I had feelings for her. I've tried to be nice to her, to be courteous, to act like a gentleman. Apparently her answer to that is no. Now remove your gun from my back. Oh, and I didn't mess with her 9mm. I just put it in a different room in her apartment. I left a pistol for her to use that was specifically designed to stop people like me," Ryan said, not even caring if he got shot.

He was tired of it all. He was tired of the way he felt, tired of people judging him, tired of Liria never giving him a chance. He knew he would never measure up to the colonel's standards. He also knew that Liria would never give him a chance since her dad didn't like him. He knew it was futile so just walked back into his room, then closed and locked the door before anyone could get into it with him.

Ryan sat on the bed, his head dropping into his hands. He couldn't pin why he was falling for Liria, but knew it was happening. He felt like shit for acting the way he did to her at first. He knew he didn't deserve a chance, that he never really did. What did he have to offer her? He was a glorified operator. He was scarred, damaged goods. Who would love someone who had killed for a living? Would they ever even understand what he had been through?

Ryan didn't realize that he was crying until he looked down at the marks on his carpet. He quickly wiped his eyes and reached for his duffel bag. He knew that he didn't have a chance, so decided to spare everyone the trouble of dealing with him. He packed what little clothes, money, weapons, and identification he had in that small duffel bag then pulled out a slip of paper.

Liria,

I'm sorry how I acted. I realize that I should never have treated you like that. You deserved better than someone treating you like an inept, weak person. You are stronger than that, deserve more than that. I'm sorry that I caused you all this grief. I hope that someday I can make up all that I've fucked up for you. I do have to thank you for making me realize I have a heart, or had one. Please take care of it, because it belongs only to you.

I love you,
Ryan

Ryan unlocked his door, happy to find his apartment empty. He placed the note in an envelope addressed to Liria, then left his apartment. He got into his truck, looking back at the place, dreading moving forward, but knowing he had to.

As Ryan drove to who knows where, he couldn't help but look back after he stopped and changed vehicles, determined not to be a nuisance to Liria anymore.

 

[Asa]

The Col was not going to argue with him even though his assumptions of peoples opinions of him was far from correct. He made sure Liria got the letter and waited for the fall out.

I want one of you to find him and tell him he wants to run away fine... but don't ever talk about caring about anyone but himself if he is going to run away and send some pathetic letter of apologizing instead of being a man and telling me to my face...

No... Better yet DRAG him back here at gunpoint or in an ambulance if you have to and I will tell him myself. Treating me like I was clueless or helpless then running away before apologizing in person what was he scared I would kick his ass... GODS you all can be so infuriating and people wonder why I prefer my work to dealing with people.

Garrett sat back letting her rant while her father and a couple of his men went about tracking him down. They were little more than assassins as well in a specialized team that "doesn't exist beyond the cover of some training operation.

 

[raiguy]

Ryan smiled, happy to have found a place away from it all. He knew that he couldn't be found unless he wanted to be found. His mentor had seen to that. He made sure of it by installing a state of the art security system all around his property and in his house. If someone tried to find him, he would know. If someone tried to hurt him, he would make sure it was the opposite.

He also knew what the colonel did for a living, having figured it out when the colonel approached him without making a sound. Even military training didn't teach it as well as the colonel showed.

He knew he had done the easy thing, but knew that he was tired of everyone looking down on him, or thinking he was too stuck up. He was tired of the snide comments from people who thought they were his betters.

Ryan sat back, running his fingers through his long, shaggy hair. He had let himself go a bit in that department. A week old beard was forming, and he hadn't gotten his hair cut in quite a few months. He just didn't care. He was tired of hurting, wanting Liria that bad, but knowing she, nor anyone around her, wanted him to be the one who cracked her shell.

Ryan quickly closed shop as his proximity sensors went off. He quietly moved to his room, gathering his weapons, body armor, and a few other things he knew would be handy if people decided to come looking for him to take him back or kill him.

As Ryan stepped out of the barn, he saw his house light up with flashlights, then his normal lights. He was happy to have found a house with a tunnel connecting the barn and the house. He quietly made his way off of his property, heading away from the places he knew, the places people knew he would go.

 

[Asa]

One of her uncles left a sealed note from Liria at the house as they left and the Col made a few phone calls Liria wanted him found he would be found and dragged back in irons if need be. The Col knew she didn't realize why she was acting the way she was about some guy leaving... she cared even if she didn't understand it or realize but if he thought so poorly of himself and was so willing to run away instead of stand and fight for what he wanted... The Col was divided.

Garrett tried once or twice to try to guide Liria to her own realizations only once to get his jaw clocked one good one. The others tried to talk to her as did their wives but it was more combative and the cowardice that Liria saw not her own feelings and they knew that was a situation that would take time or a stronger man. A coiple of her uncles pondered if the Col would have a problem with them arranging a date between Liria and their newest recruit from Recon.

 

[raiguy]

Ryan made his way back after everyone was gone. He saw the note from Liria, knowing what it was. This girl was pissing him off. She treated him like shit, yet he was head over heals for her.

Sick world, right? he thought to himself. He checked the letter for chemicals or traps, then opened it, surprises she hadn't been more mean. He decided once and for all to just get it out in the open. If she didn't listen or try to understand this time, she wouldn't ever. Ryan knew this and prepared himself accordingly.

He caught the first flight back to the one place he was genuinely scared to go back to, then proceeded directly to the colonel's office.

"You came looking. I got the message. I'm here. Go get her so she can chew me out and we can clear the air. I know you don't like me, but understand that I'm in love with your daughter. If she doesn't understand that, I'm walking out and will not be found, by anyone," Ryan said quietly, even though it was only the colonel and himself in the office.

He stepped back and showed he was unarmed for good measures, then dropped a dossier on the colonel's desk.

"I wanted you to know why I protected her, then and now. This isn't for leverage or anything. I wanted you to know the truth, and hope that maybe you can help me, and maybe her, understand each other," Ryan said as the colonel opened the file, recognizing it as the first mission Ryan's mentor took him on. A mission to kill the colonel and her daughter by the same man who had tried pulling strings earlier. Ryan never read the file, disgusted with his mentor after that. He didn't know why, but he couldn't and wouldn't kill a girl, or a child. When he saw the girl and her father, he refused and pleaded with his mentor to not take the contract. In the end, his mentor caved, but Ryan left quickly after, knowing repercussions would follow shortly. Ryan hadn't seen Liria until he ran into her being tailed, and somehow felt the same pull he felt all those years ago when he was not much older than her, but on a contract to kill her.

 

[Asa]

Boy you really think no one likes you... I know you had a contract on Liria and me years ago. Your handler came to me about it. I told him do what he had to do treat it as a test for you... you passed. I am the one who trained the guy who trained you... He is my kid brothers father in law... We used to work together. This operation and team of mine... we don't exist... all our paper work as I am sure you found out reads that we are a bunch of desk jockeys right... wrong.

SO ya see... you are the only one that doesn't like the fact that you kill for a living... so do we... Hell kid I was younger than you when I got into this field. your record is impressive but to catch up to me you need another couple of hundred under your belt.

Tagging a button Garrett Bring her in...

Liria walked in and seeing Ryan her anger flared full force.

You dare try to tell me I have your heart then run away like a COWARD! But then again seems thats all any branch of the service or sect of covert assassin and all of that bullshit really teach you all anymore... run away! Fine you wanna run take your heart with you... I don't need anyone around me that thinks I am some helpless wilting violet cant think for myself or take care of myself... I have had a gun in my hand since I could pick one up... NO ya know what why the hell should I care I have my job and they believe I can handle whatever insane lethal investigation that ask me to do...

The Col just lit a cigar and sat back knowing one of three things would happen... she would get too pissed off to talk... Maybe. She would run out of words and rage... not likely. Or the boy would grow a set and kiss her. which would open a whole other avenue but one point at a time.

 

[raiguy]

Ryan stepped forward, kissing Liria passionately and deeply, pulling her close. He stepped back after a few seconds then simply said, "I love you. Now shut up and listen to me. I ran because I had some things I had to sort out. I ran because I was tired of not knowing a few things about me, about how I grew up. I figured them out shortly after I left. I also realized that I've been in love with you since I was 11. Ask your dad if you don't believe me. I know I acted like an asshole by not giving you your space or treating you like you deserved. I know I fucked up by leaving. I promise that if you let me, I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. It's up to you though. If you want me gone, I'll leave and never bother you anymore," Ryan finished quietly. He took a step back then braced himself for the rage, slap, dressing down, or whatever else she would throw his way. He would gladly take it if it meant she felt the same way.

 

[Asa]

She stood there staring not sure what to say or do...

Garrett was luckily standing where she could not see the stifled chuckle as he tried to maintain a military bearing.

Her father just sat back smoking his cigar watching this all unfold.

 

[raiguy]

Ryan shot Garrett a glare, knowing what he thought. He'd be damned if that shit ruined this. He continued waiting for Liria to respond, afraid to push her too much for fear that she would completely snap and ruin anything she wanted, or what he wanted most.

 

[Asa]

Liria looked at him she truly had no idea what to say or do and that was starting to scare her. Work really was all she had ever let herself deal with and now... this... what should she say... what should she do... Her tried to speak her lips parting slightly seeking words but nothing was there.

The Col spoke where he knew that only Ryan could hear him... you may need to say or do something I really don't think she has any idea right now... you shocked her...