Sexual power of attorney?

[Desdemona]

http://www.slate.com/id/2192178/?GT1=38001

Can you imagine the reaction if they were doing something even remotely kinky?? Give me a break. If I caught my 78 year old Mom giving some old geezer a BJ, I'd like to think I'd be thrilled for them both and get out of there quietly.

This makes me glad I don't have kids. At least nobody from my side of the family will interfere when I'm old and horny. Anybody heard of a sexual power of attorney? I haven't. Who knew we needed to protect our later sex lives?

ADR, you have expertise with this age group. What say you?

 

[Primalex]

The real problem is having a legal guardian who is not at all interested in your well-being. So make sure you get a good notary as guardian, not someone from your family just because the latter is handy.

 

[Desdemona]

good point.

The real problem is having a legal guardian who is not at all interested in your well-being. So make sure you get a good notary as guardian, not someone from your family just because the latter is handy.

Thanks for the idea.

 

[Desdemona]

I had another thought in the shower.

Some here may well be horrified at the thought of elderly people being sexually active. Think about how you feel right now about your sex life. Personally, I feel pretty protective of it. My feelings haven't changed during the decades that I've been sexually active. (ok that makes me sound older than I really am. I started YOUNG. It was the 70's). I don't think I'm going to feel differently about my right to sexual activity as I continue to age.

Anyway, I've seen evidence that some older people are kinky. When Snooze and I were at FetCon a few years ago, we saw a couple who looked to be 70+ selling steel chastity belts at the exhibit hall. This woman, who looked like your average granny in the grocery store was modeling a chastity belt. Her partner looked like somebodys grandpa. So, think about your future folks.

Do you want to be free to practice whatever sex acts you're physically capable of?

Does your state of mind really matter?

OK, I'm off to work now. See you later.

 

[intothewoods]

Unless there's some diminished capacity, and the person is being taken advantage by someone who's quite lucid, then I think it's great that people are having sex into their golden years. These people are adults. I don't understand why they're being treated like children.

 

[Breaker_Morant]

http://www.slate.com/id/2192178/?GT1=38001

Can you imagine the reaction if they were doing something even remotely kinky?? Give me a break. If I caught my 78 year old Mom giving some old geezer a BJ, I'd like to think I'd be thrilled for them both and get out of there quietly.

*shivers* and has that feeling that I've just seen my grandmother topless *shivers and just feels generally turned off to sex for about 48 hours*

I've overhead my mom talk about doing that with a guy.. and had to go and immerse myself into a self help book.

 

[Netzach]

I dread this. I really do. I dread being "oh yeah, that woman over there acting inappropriate is Netz" - I hope something falls on me before I overshare my rather delightful past when my mind is gone.

Then again, if it's gone I won't care. Less than ever. I hope I scare people who are also going to be old and sagging and can't get it up someday then.

 

[Netzach]

*shivers* and has that feeling that I've just seen my grandmother topless *shivers and just feels generally turned off to sex for about 48 hours*

I've overhead my mom talk about doing that with a guy.. and had to go and immerse myself into a self help book.

Uh, why?

Or do you plan on stopping having sex the moment your ass sags?

 

[the captians wench]

*shivers* and has that feeling that I've just seen my grandmother topless *shivers and just feels generally turned off to sex for about 48 hours*

I've overhead my mom talk about doing that with a guy.. and had to go and immerse myself into a self help book.

See I've never gotten this mind set. My mom and I are very open about sex. Hell I made her first flogger and gave her tips on how to use it. And she's passed on a few tips to me that lead to a few thank you noted being recieced in the morning.

My dad and I are not as open, but we're not ashamed to talk about it either. I would be more open with my dad if it weren't for the fact that he can't talk about sex with out being crude. When my mom and I talk, it's more of a discussion, when dad and I talk it tends to lead to lude comments.

My step dad and I were open as well. He was 73 when he died so that may have atributed to my whole view on age.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Sheesh, just exactly what do they need protecting from sexually at that age? It never ceases to amaze me when people have this attitude that sex is reserved for the more youthful and suggest disgust at the thought of an elderly person naked...at least the elderly have a valid reason for not being visually in top shape, what do some others have to defend their seriously out of shape and sagging bits at 30 something, and which they don't seem to think people should find unattractive or be prevented from having sex?

Catalina

 

[Breaker_Morant]

Uh, why?

Or do you plan on stopping having sex the moment your ass sags?

At age 14 you don't imagine your mother as a sexual being. Even at my current age, I could do without the mental imagery. *involuntary shiver*

 

[Netzach]

I always guessed my mother was with the mainstream of humanity. It bothered and bothers me more that she was totally not getting any till I was six or seven or whatever.

 

[Netzach]

I just dread losing my internal editing mechanism for the sake of those around me. I've lead a colorful life and I spend a lot of time thinking of appalling things to say to people.

 

[Breaker_Morant]

I always guessed my mother was with the mainstream of humanity. It bothered and bothers me more that she was totally not getting any till I was six or seven or whatever.

I grew up Southern Baptist - Thou Shalt Not Talk About It but the Preacher's Wife Will Provide Comfort to All Who Need It.

 

[Desdemona]

not only do I think them

I just dread losing my internal editing mechanism for the sake of those around me. I've lead a colorful life and I spend a lot of time thinking of appalling things to say to people.

I frequently say appalling things to people... just for the shock value.

 

[FurryFury]

OMG! That is soooo sad! I would hope people could let two folks be happy. *grr*

I always saw my parents as very sexually beings because they were.

My grandmother was strange. She talked about sex like it was dirty but something she found fun and naughty. She confused me. Her toy collection confused me too.

I always said I would be having sex as long as I could. I have a lot of years of trying to be "good" and remain a virgin to make up for.

 

[EmpressFi]

I can picture the scene of the father being led away and it makes me both hurt and be angry. I feel so badly for him, for them. Yeah, I might not want to think about my parents having sex, but love is a rare gift, and it was snatched out of their hands by an unfeeling lout. He was probably just jealous that good ole dad was getting it and he wasnt.

 

[Netzach]

The article nailed it. He was nervous about his inheritance.

Which is one more reason I'm glad I don't have children. They'll stick a knife in you for a buck when you're old and nuts! Then again, I don't have money either, another sure fire way not to have to worry about that.

 

[rida]

The article nailed it. He was nervous about his inheritance.

Which is one more reason I'm glad I don't have children. They'll stick a knife in you for a buck when you're old and nuts! Then again, I don't have money either, another sure fire way not to have to worry about that.

Yes, it is not the sex that annoyed the son. Was the fear of loosing the money. They even offered him to sign a pre-nupt! Honestly, how petty can you get ... But I have seen how petty family can get over inheritance, even when it comes down to peanuts and a couple of cheap jewelry.

My plan is to spend all my money (if any) before I go, setting up for necessary expenses to be covered and gifting any leftover how I see fit while alive.

As for the mentally unable to make a consciouses decision to have sex, in relation to the circumstances of the article: if he was not fit to decide for his own sex life, how could he be mentally fit enough to be a threat to the inheritance money?

I see though a bigger issue in the "mentally unable to make a consciouses decision to have sex" when it comes to elderly. What if it is a married couple? Barring cases where abuse is taking place, are you going to forcibly separate them because one is losing it (Dementia, Alzheimer or what not) and as such cannot consent to be sexual with their spouses?

 

[graceanne]

Some people. I'm sorry, both my parents are sexually active, and I'm sure my grandparents were until their partner died. What? Sex isn't fun anymore when you're old? It reminds me of what my mom said about retirement homes when she was a young woman. (1970's) Married couples weren't allowed to share a room, and on the rare occasion the families made a fuss about it they had to have separate beds.

 

[Desdemona]

ok.... wait

OMG! That is soooo sad! I would hope people could let two folks be happy. *grr*

I always saw my parents as very sexually beings because they were.

My grandmother was strange. She talked about sex like it was dirty but something she found fun and naughty. She confused me. Her toy collection confused me too.

I always said I would be having sex as long as I could. I have a lot of years of trying to be "good" and remain a virgin to make up for.

You saw your granny's toy collection?????????? Please tell me you were an adult or at least close to it.

 

[Desdemona]

well, I'm poor

But I might have a few pennies left over after my final expenses. Don't have kids. Guess I'll have to have a chat with my niece, who is the only one who will give a shit about me when I'm old and demented anyway. Hope this conversation doesn't scar her flor life. Don't worry, she's in her 30's. She can handle it.

 

[SirQittus]

This (and other assorted old people consent/decisionmaking issues) makes me think that someone oughta create the equivalent of a BDSM checklist for old folks - when you're doing your will, or retiring, or other periodic event, you go over a list that has all kinds of different items on it and you assign a 0 through 5 on each one. The big ones would be things like euthanasia in various conditions, but "getting it on with my nursing home friends" would certainly fit in.

It may not have prevented this particular situation, but it'd make it all the clearer that the son is being a prick and acting contrary to the wishes of his dad even when his dad was legally competent.

 

[FurryFury]

You saw your granny's toy collection?????????? Please tell me you were an adult or at least close to it.

I can't remember the age I was. I'm going to guess 11ish?

 

[Primalex]

But I might have a few pennies left over after my final expenses. Don't have kids. Guess I'll have to have a chat with my niece, who is the only one who will give a shit about me when I'm old and demented anyway.

What's her number?