Sexual Mishaps

[Christy2Cum]

We all love blooper clips or seeing when someone else gets hurt, so I figured this may be a fun thread.

I have quite a few to share but will start with this one that really stands out to me for obvious reasons.

I was with an old boyfriend of mine and he was doing me doggie, was so good, he was pounding me real hard but then his cock slipped out of my pussy and he rammed it in my ass. Worst pain of my life, he was big, I was dry hence my emphasis on lube these days.

His response was he didn't know my holes were so close, really this wasn't your first time with a woman dumbass? Ended the night on a real low and I didn't spend the night, I was pretty sore and really pissed.

 

[Islander55]

I certainly had a few bloopers over the years but one of my first was in college and giving my first BJ to completion. These days I know enough to just keep it in my mouth but that time I panicked when I felt that first spurt. He ended up cumming all over my top. We were in his room so after I had to make my way through a bunch of people with very obvious cum stains on my top.

 

[CuttingEdge]

It was a Sunday morning and the wife was getting ready for church. She looked pretty good I thought, so I ended up taking her right there and then on the bathroom vanity. This was something she had no problem with, but then we were late, so off to church we went.

As we stood up to sing the last hymn, she made a beeline for the bathroom which is not uncommon for ladies to do during certain times of the month for them. When she came back, I mentioned that need, and she said that was not the problem at all. When she stood up, my cum from earlier oozed out of her and it was running down her thigh. That is not good when you are in church with a dress on.

 

[Northsidejoe]

It was a Sunday morning and the wife was getting ready for church. She looked pretty good I thought, so I ended up taking her right there and then on the bathroom vanity. This was something she had no problem with, but then we were late, so off to church we went.

As we stood up to sing the last hymn, she made a beeline for the bathroom which is not uncommon for ladies to do during certain times of the month for them. When she came back, I mentioned that need, and she said that was not the problem at all. When she stood up, my cum from earlier oozed out of her and it was running down her thigh. That is not good when you are in church with a dress on.

Another good reason why men should eat creampies!

 

[Christy2Cum]

Another good reason why men should eat creampies!

Can't argue with that!

 

[J_Bone]

Had a few, but one I remember when I was on a river tubing trip with a bunch of friends. Myself and one buddy had befriended two bikini-clad hotties while on the river, which got more and more friendly as the float progressed. By the end, they'd agreed to come back to our rented house with us to party, which would lead to more fun.

So I'm in the back seat of his truck with my girl making out as he's hauling ass on this bumpy country dirt road for four or five miles to where we were staying. She ends up straddling me as I'm leaned back against the seat and we're going at it when my buddy hits this huge dip in the road without slowing down and the truck takes a huge bounce. Unfortunately, this happens at just the same time I had my tongue buried deep in her mouth....in fact, I think she was sucking it.....and when we hit the dip in the road, the bounce caused her to bite the fuck out of my tongue midway back on the left side. It hurt like holy hell and temporarily killed the mood and it bled and bled and bled. She was so apologetic, but it was hardly her fault. It finally stopped bleeding a half hour or so later when we were back at the house and despite being sore as hell, it still worked fine and got plenty of use the rest of that day and night . It eventually totally healed, but was sore and noticeable for a good week afterward.

 

[Christy2Cum]

Had a few, but one I remember when I was on a river tubing trip with a bunch of friends. Myself and one buddy had befriended two bikini-clad hotties while on the river, which got more and more friendly as the float progressed. By the end, they'd agreed to come back to our rented house with us to party, which would lead to more fun.

So I'm in the back seat of his truck with my girl making out as he's hauling ass on this bumpy country dirt road for four or five miles to where we were staying. She ends up straddling me as I'm leaned back against the seat and we're going at it when my buddy hits this huge dip in the road without slowing down and the truck takes a huge bounce. Unfortunately, this happens at just the same time I had my tongue buried deep in her mouth....in fact, I think she was sucking it.....and when we hit the dip in the road, the bounce caused her to bite the fuck out of my tongue midway back on the left side. It hurt like holy hell and temporarily killed the mood and it bled and bled and bled. She was so apologetic, but it was hardly her fault. It finally stopped bleeding a half hour or so later when we were back at the house and despite being sore as hell, it still worked fine and got plenty of use the rest of that day and night . It eventually totally healed, but was sore and noticeable for a good week afterward.

That is definitely a mishap! Glad you were able to recover though!

 

[CuttingEdge]

With my first wife, we were really young; twenty years old and just married, and more than willing to try different forms of sex.

So one night I convinced her to try anal sex, and used plenty of lube and all that, but I am on the bigger side and it took awhile to put it up there. I finally get it all the way into place and she says, "well it is not as bad as I thought it would be, just don't pump".

I'm thinking, 'don't pump? 'What am I exactly supposed to do here now then, just kneel here with my shaft THERE...for a twenty minutes?' I mean I was ready to drive her head through the headboard and out through the wall after reaching the Holy Grail of Marriage and she says, 'don't pump'?

I did eventually gravitate to moving it inside her, which she warmed up to, but was not something we did a lot in our ten year marriage.

 

[Christy2Cum]

With my first wife, we were really young; twenty years old and just married, and more than willing to try different forms of sex.

So one night I convinced her to try anal sex, and used plenty of lube and all that, but I am on the bigger side and it took awhile to put it up there. I finally get it all the way into place and she says, "well it is not as bad as I thought it would be, just don't pump".

I'm thinking, 'don't pump? 'What am I exactly supposed to do here now then, just kneel here with my shaft THERE...for a twenty minutes?' I mean I was ready to drive her head through the headboard and out through the wall after reaching the Holy Grail of Marriage and she says, 'don't pump'?

I did eventually gravitate to moving it inside her, which she warmed up to, but was not something we did a lot in our ten year marriage.

Sorry hun, I had to laugh imaging you there with your cock in her ass doing nothing! Not sure what she thought would happen, my first time I controlled it both depth and speed and here I am! I survived!

 

[Northsidejoe]

Sorry hun, I had to laugh imaging you there with your cock in her ass doing nothing! Not sure what she thought would happen, my first time I controlled it both depth and speed and here I am! I survived!

And we're all glad that you did survive!

 

[Christy2Cum]

And we're all glad that you did survive!

Thanks for the support hun!

 

[Northsidejoe]

Thanks for you posts on the forum. So many women don't have the nerve to post their true feelings and experiences. I totally support and admire the women who do!

 

[Christy2Cum]

Thanks for you posts on the forum. So many women don't have the nerve to post their true feelings and experiences. I totally support and admire the women who do!

It's actually why I am here.
I wish there were more women like me on here as much as anyone, but too many assholes and pushy jerks make it very difficult, they need to find a different online forum.
I will offer my support services to any other woman who wants to reach out to me in a DM.

 

[eric_erosfan]

When we bought our first place my girlfriend and I christened it that first day by fucking in every room in the house. I lifted her against me and kept my cock in her as we walked from room to room. But the stairs were tricky and I lost my footing halfway up the stairs and fell against the back wall of the stairs and then onto the treads but made sure she fell on me. So as I am asking her if she is okay as we are upside down on the stairs I realized I held her so tight when we fell that my cock was still inside her. We burst out laughing but I ended up with the biggest bruise on my side and back. But not a mark on her. And we never tried to fuck and do stairs at the same time again.

 

[Bbl87]

His response was he didn't know my holes were so close, really this wasn't your first time with a woman dumbass?

I don't think you should be having sex if you aren't aware of that.

 

[Christy2Cum]

I don't think you should be having sex if you aren't aware of that.

Oh I agree, he just wasn't very smart but the sex was good most times, not great but good.

 

[Bbl87]

Oh I agree, he just wasn't very smart but the sex was good most times, not great but good.

Hey, I'd take good sex right now.

 

[Christy2Cum]

Hey, I'd take good sex right now.

Back then I was wanting more, a lot more, but I agree good sex would be more than acceptable as my situation is so different.

 

[Bbl87]

Back then I was wanting more, a lot more, but I agree good sex would be more than acceptable as my situation is so different.

Haha, don't get me wrong, I'd love great, amazing, forget where and who you are sex. But with currently getting uninterested sex 1-2 times a month, good sex would be a massive upgrade.

 

[Goldenfinger]

I had sex with a Girlfriends mother. I got caught. It did not end well.

 

[BiWifeMyrtleBeach]

Once at a couples party, there were several of us on a bed fooling around when one of the guys got up to move to another position. His foot got caught in a bedsheet, lost his balance and feel, cracking his head on the nightstand which resulted in a concussion. Was really a killjoy for the rest of the night. On a happy note, he made a complete recovery and is doing well today.

 

[HumpDayHoratio]

With my first wife, we were really young; twenty years old and just married, and more than willing to try different forms of sex.

So one night I convinced her to try anal sex, and used plenty of lube and all that, but I am on the bigger side and it took awhile to put it up there. I finally get it all the way into place and she says, "well it is not as bad as I thought it would be, just don't pump".

I'm thinking, 'don't pump? 'What am I exactly supposed to do here now then, just kneel here with my shaft THERE...for a twenty minutes?' I mean I was ready to drive her head through the headboard and out through the wall after reaching the Holy Grail of Marriage and she says, 'don't pump'?

I did eventually gravitate to moving it inside her, which she warmed up to, but was not something we did a lot in our ten year marriage.

My old GF set up a friend of mine with her BFF. We’d house sit for the BFF’s sister and BIL.

One weekend we’re drinking and having fun when the topic of anal sex comes up. We’re all young and inexperienced so we’re talking about the pro’s and con’s of this new and exciting sex act we’d only maybe seen in porn.

When it comes time for lights out, we take the guest room which was right under the master bedroom where our friends slept. We’re both getting busy when we hear the girl making statements of ”its too big” and rather loudly at that. A lot of walking around and just being noisy. We hear a ‘it’s oK’ sort of talk.

Then it gets quiet for a sec, then “UHGGGGGGHHHH”!. A looooong pause. Then the most blood curdling scream I’ve ever heard! Banging, crying, yelling. My GF goes to render assistance. I walk up the stairs to my see my friend, naked with still erect member, with a sheepish look saying “I just put the tip in”!

Well, turns out he didn’t just “put the tip in”, he rammed the tip of his 7+“ cock to the hilt!. Poor girl wasn’t warmed up properly and probably never tried it again.

My GF and I (in private) when discussing this laughed our asses off. Not at our friends pain, but how inept my friend was at handling the whole thing!

 

[StrongMaster7]

I've told this one before. In college we were always looking to save a buck or two. A friend in the dorm worked in the pharmacy of a big hospital. He said he could get us condoms for cheap. $5 for a box that would cost $20 was not bad. My roommate and I each bought a box.

My first chance to use these cheap condoms came on a Friday night. My busty girlfriend and I were fucking in her giant boat of a car in a vast, unlit parking lot. She pushed me back on the back seat and straddled by sheathed cock and began riding me. Her big tits with those long, thick nipples had me ready to blow my wad in no time. As I was building to my explosion, I suddenly realized how good it felt and glanced down to see the shredded condom at the base of my cock. I lifted my girlfriend off my cock and blew my wad all over her tits. Fortunately, I had dodged a bullet.

Later, I was talking with my roommate. I mentioned that the cheap condom I used broke. My roommate told me his did too! A first for both of us. The lesson? You get what you pay for.

 

[Inthelastrow]

When my wife and I were dating in college, we decided to try 69'ing. It was all going well till I started to cum. She did not want me to cum in her mouth so she quickly and unexpectedly shifted a way in the middle of my ecstasy and sat up right. The end result was that I hit her in the face with my knee and broke her nose. With blood streaming down her face I had to react quickly with a washcloth and Ice pack, me still naked with cum all over the place. I ended up taking her to the hospital. It was kind hard explaining (lying) to her folks and mine how she ended up in the hospital with a broken nose. Also ended any future 69's.

 

[Crownvic]

She ruined my orgasm...she enjoys doing that...gives her an orgasm...