Sexual Fulfillment vs. Conversation Online
- Thread starter lavender
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AzureAngel
Love is Life
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- Mar 31, 2002
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Actual conversation makes more demands of the individual. Plus, it requires that you learn a bit of English (ur hot sex plz!@#), which is a pretty strong sticking point for some.
And that whole thinking thing. It's a little rough.
And that whole thinking thing. It's a little rough.
lavender said:
I think SRP (Sexual Role Play) fills some of that void for me, I find it incredibly hot.
To be honest, I've had more 'sex' and flirtatious fun in my life since joining Lit than I have ever had. It's not so physicallt gratifying sure, but I don't have blue balls
ksmybuttons
Push and Pull
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- Dec 1, 2001
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I love the conversation without having to curtail my sexuality. I like not having to mentally edit what I say so as not to offend people with different views of sexuality. I end up pondering something new everyday.
That is one of the myriad of things that draws me here.
I cannot boink the screen, but the mental play is wonderful.
That is one of the myriad of things that draws me here.
I cannot boink the screen, but the mental play is wonderful.
KillerMuffin
Seraphically Disinclined
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2000
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- 25,603
I can get sexual fulfillment with my finger. Words on a screen are a catalyst. It's not as good as the ol' bump'n grind.
Let me ask you this.
If your permanent mate could no longer keep up with you sexually due to disability-- I'm not just talking physical pain just to have sex, I'm also talking about meds that lower the libido-- what would you do?
Let me ask you this.
If your permanent mate could no longer keep up with you sexually due to disability-- I'm not just talking physical pain just to have sex, I'm also talking about meds that lower the libido-- what would you do?
WaxNWane
Hare puller
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- Apr 13, 2002
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Funny stuff Azure. 
As to the topic, I only flirt online with my girlfriend - cuts down on the long distance bills. In that case, there's nothing base about the fulfillment. And for many, the mind is an erogenous zone...the visuals and wordplay can really do the trick.
But, sadly, the cynic in me knows that the majority think with their groin and look to chat up anything they can rub against. Of course, who cares about the majority, anyway?
As to the topic, I only flirt online with my girlfriend - cuts down on the long distance bills. In that case, there's nothing base about the fulfillment. And for many, the mind is an erogenous zone...the visuals and wordplay can really do the trick.
But, sadly, the cynic in me knows that the majority think with their groin and look to chat up anything they can rub against. Of course, who cares about the majority, anyway?
ksmybuttons
Push and Pull
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- Dec 1, 2001
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KillerMuffin said:
That is what your stories and my vibrator are for...
When my husband was diagnosed with cancer of the urinary tract in 1994, we both found that the sex wasn't that important to the over all feeling of closeness. We definately became closer through that then all of our sexual acts combined.
Sex was much, much better once it resumed.
glamorilla
creamy white center
- Joined
- Apr 4, 2002
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I give the most amazing cyber.I don't do it much anymore. I don't actually masturbate while I'm doing it but I like being turned on and flirting and teasing and i especially like knowing I'm getting someone hot... I usually type lying down in bed so i can pleasantly hump my mattress away. It's fun...but only if you really know how to do it.
Does it replace real sex...no...but then neither does masturbation and I'm not giving that up either.
Real sex is real sex...I'll pretty much try and have tried anything for kicks (twice if its nice) but I'd be much happer having a nice good diet of healthy "basic sex" over any kind of experimental/fantasy/kink play.... I find cybering is much better at exploring these fantasies than trying something in real life you may not be prepared for.
Does it replace real sex...no...but then neither does masturbation and I'm not giving that up either.
Real sex is real sex...I'll pretty much try and have tried anything for kicks (twice if its nice) but I'd be much happer having a nice good diet of healthy "basic sex" over any kind of experimental/fantasy/kink play.... I find cybering is much better at exploring these fantasies than trying something in real life you may not be prepared for.
TN_Vixen
Rear Window
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- Sep 24, 2000
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- 7,710
Lavendar
Oh well, I can't address all of your comments in one post, because although it appears as though you're asking basic sexual relationship questions, you're not.
The problem is that it is very difficult to meet someone in person without them having an ulterior motive. I have a life... I have a pattern to my life and I don't intend to allow some cheesy player to ingratiate himself into my situation. That's just not my style.
But, Lav. there are tons of guys and tons of girls who are willing to put themselves on that line. You'll never fine a woman here who disagrees, judges unless it means the promotion of herself in some form or fashion. I applaude you that you've done so without succumbing to such pressure and you're faith in the women you've portrayed here only reinforces you're class. Thank you.
Oh well, I can't address all of your comments in one post, because although it appears as though you're asking basic sexual relationship questions, you're not.
The problem is that it is very difficult to meet someone in person without them having an ulterior motive. I have a life... I have a pattern to my life and I don't intend to allow some cheesy player to ingratiate himself into my situation. That's just not my style.
But, Lav. there are tons of guys and tons of girls who are willing to put themselves on that line. You'll never fine a woman here who disagrees, judges unless it means the promotion of herself in some form or fashion. I applaude you that you've done so without succumbing to such pressure and you're faith in the women you've portrayed here only reinforces you're class. Thank you.
TN_Vixen
Rear Window
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- Sep 24, 2000
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- 7,710
Fine, Be an Ass About This Situation, I don't really give a shit
Good Goddamn.. I had a wonderful speech prepared but it was "nixed" in favor of whatever Party representative you'd decided to appoint.
Fine... (laughing out loud)... you use that party, you bleed them dry for whatever information you can bleed them for.
Y'know, maybe I wasn't cut out to be this type of representative? No, I know I wasn't, but goddamn if I wans't a great salesman and you fucked that up royally.
Good Goddamn.. I had a wonderful speech prepared but it was "nixed" in favor of whatever Party representative you'd decided to appoint.
Fine... (laughing out loud)... you use that party, you bleed them dry for whatever information you can bleed them for.
Y'know, maybe I wasn't cut out to be this type of representative? No, I know I wasn't, but goddamn if I wans't a great salesman and you fucked that up royally.
Svedish_Chef
On Walkabout
- Joined
- Apr 26, 2000
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- 9,937
Fuck
I'm after your brain not tween the thinghs... thats just a bonus.
Vixie why the HELL arent you online?
I'm after your brain not tween the thinghs... thats just a bonus.
Vixie why the HELL arent you online?
Hamletmaschine
This space for rent
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2001
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- 9,011
I can't speak for others, but it would be quite a stretch for me to imagine whatever flirting or sexual banter I engage in here at Lit. as sexually fulfilling. That's not to discount what others might get from it. But, for me, it's more a matter of "when in Rome. . .": people flirt and tease and banter about sex here; if you want to blend in or join the virtual community, go forth and do likewise.
Neither am I expecting sexual fulfillment from online communication. As I said on another thread recently, I've always found cybering to be just plain silly. Perhaps the partners I've had were stupid or unimaginative or semi-literate, or perhaps I'm just not any good at it, or perhaps it's because I can't type and jerk off at the same time. But I don't do it, and I wouldn't even attempt it nowadays unless it was with someone I'd gotten to know pretty well.
Sexual fulfillment to me is a function of some sort of relationship that goes beyond having said 'hello' to someone a couple of times on a BB. I know it's possible to develop a relationship that begins with online communication and proceeds, as all relationships proceed, through some fairly routine stages or phases. And I'm certainly interested in that. But it doesn't necessarily entail "sexual fulfillment" as either the intended aim or the result of interaction.
In other words, I ain't looking to get laid here, and I don't expect it to happen. If I ever developed a relationship with someone I met online that might hold the promise of "sexual fulfillment" I'd be surprised as hell.
It happened to me once, and I was surprised. But I also got burned really badly, and so in addition to my general skepticism about it, I'm a little more guarded, too.
Neither am I expecting sexual fulfillment from online communication. As I said on another thread recently, I've always found cybering to be just plain silly. Perhaps the partners I've had were stupid or unimaginative or semi-literate, or perhaps I'm just not any good at it, or perhaps it's because I can't type and jerk off at the same time. But I don't do it, and I wouldn't even attempt it nowadays unless it was with someone I'd gotten to know pretty well.
Sexual fulfillment to me is a function of some sort of relationship that goes beyond having said 'hello' to someone a couple of times on a BB. I know it's possible to develop a relationship that begins with online communication and proceeds, as all relationships proceed, through some fairly routine stages or phases. And I'm certainly interested in that. But it doesn't necessarily entail "sexual fulfillment" as either the intended aim or the result of interaction.
In other words, I ain't looking to get laid here, and I don't expect it to happen. If I ever developed a relationship with someone I met online that might hold the promise of "sexual fulfillment" I'd be surprised as hell.
It happened to me once, and I was surprised. But I also got burned really badly, and so in addition to my general skepticism about it, I'm a little more guarded, too.
ksmybuttons
Push and Pull
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- Dec 1, 2001
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- 30,254
I came here to explore my sexuality. I am not looking to flirt or to gain a sexual relationship. I have found I get to explore other lines of thought that also expand me. That is a good thing. Sexual fulfillment is a 3D thing.
MissTaken
Biker Chick
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- Jun 30, 2001
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I will admit, I like the sexual banter. I enjoy trying to play with words on the board and at times, enjoy some of the attention I recieve. (Operative word: "some")
I have cybered and found it sadly lacking. A lack of sex isn't a problem for me, there are willing partners. I have never been able to meet my needs for intimacy when cybering or even having phone sex.
I used to enjoy cybering in that it taxed my imagination to engage in on line "play." At times, I would achieve orgasm. Was it fulfilling? No. Do I cyber now? Not anymore.
In terms of my role on the board, I post in cycles. I spin through a cycle of flirtatious, silly, slutty behavior into a cycle of posting on coversational threads. I pm with a number of people, most of whom it is conversational regardless of how we post together on the board.
As a single working mom, lit fulfills my need for socialization and intellectual stimulation, not my need for sex.
Chatting on line to a boyfriend or date can be it's own form of foreplay. Flirting leads to sexual tension which leads to some rather dramatic rendezvous'. (How the hell do you pluralize rendezvous?)
Sorry to have made such a lengthy post, but it seems that the question and issues at hand are far more than one dimensional as is so true with many of our Lavy's posts.
I have cybered and found it sadly lacking. A lack of sex isn't a problem for me, there are willing partners. I have never been able to meet my needs for intimacy when cybering or even having phone sex.
I used to enjoy cybering in that it taxed my imagination to engage in on line "play." At times, I would achieve orgasm. Was it fulfilling? No. Do I cyber now? Not anymore.
In terms of my role on the board, I post in cycles. I spin through a cycle of flirtatious, silly, slutty behavior into a cycle of posting on coversational threads. I pm with a number of people, most of whom it is conversational regardless of how we post together on the board.
As a single working mom, lit fulfills my need for socialization and intellectual stimulation, not my need for sex.
Chatting on line to a boyfriend or date can be it's own form of foreplay. Flirting leads to sexual tension which leads to some rather dramatic rendezvous'. (How the hell do you pluralize rendezvous?)
Sorry to have made such a lengthy post, but it seems that the question and issues at hand are far more than one dimensional as is so true with many of our Lavy's posts.
lovetoread
hello daddy
- Joined
- Mar 16, 2001
- Posts
- 42,978
Obviously,an online relationship was not enough for me,but in the months that I was apart from him,it surely did make the time go by faster.
JazzManJim
On the Downbeat
- Joined
- Sep 12, 2001
- Posts
- 27,360
I don't find it tough to fulfill my base sexual urges online.
I get horny, I read a story, or a few posts, or some good pictures, maybe banter a bit, and get my jerk on. Problem solved.
For the deeper issues of intimacy and closeness, that's tougher. I have made some good friend here - people I would never have met and gotten to know if I hadn't come here. I value them highly and they, as do my friends offline, satisfy most, if not all, of my intimacy and closeness needs.
Though it's not a perfect arrangement, it keeps me happy in general. Yeah, I do long for a relationship from time to time, but I've gone a while without one, and I can go a while longer.
I don't know if that sufficiently answers the question, though.
I get horny, I read a story, or a few posts, or some good pictures, maybe banter a bit, and get my jerk on. Problem solved.
For the deeper issues of intimacy and closeness, that's tougher. I have made some good friend here - people I would never have met and gotten to know if I hadn't come here. I value them highly and they, as do my friends offline, satisfy most, if not all, of my intimacy and closeness needs.
Though it's not a perfect arrangement, it keeps me happy in general. Yeah, I do long for a relationship from time to time, but I've gone a while without one, and I can go a while longer.
I don't know if that sufficiently answers the question, though.
Northern Lights
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Apr 12, 2002
- Posts
- 145
Perhaps because people see the rewards of base sexual needs as being much greater than the rewards of basic conversation.
I'm not saying they are, but I think many people do.
I'm not saying they are, but I think many people do.
Northern Lights
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Apr 12, 2002
- Posts
- 145
Re: Fine, Be an Ass About This Situation, I don't really give a shit
Huh?
TN_Vixen said:
Huh?
erosman
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Nov 2, 2001
- Posts
- 4,553
Lit for me is a door into a world that my RL never provided. I would agree that the sexual banter is definitely different than RL sexual banging. But, neither do I want to bang or banter all day long. Lit is a great variety...a smorgasboard. Sometimes the conversation is a little disappointing, but I think that is because at any given time, there are dozens of people talking. It is so easy to be distracted. I prefer the PMs, and better yet, I would rather chat, and beyond that would be phone conversations, and still better is RL connective talking. I think there is a lot of reservation to open one's self up on this board, or maybe that is just the conservative in me... . Frankly, there is timing too. Some days I read someone's posts and feel like I could be right next to them talking...or fucking. Other days the same poster is somewhere in left...oops!, I mean right field, and the connection would be strained at best. But that works in RL too. I spend more time in RL conversations than RL sex...sadly.
. Frankly, there is timing too. Some days I read someone's posts and feel like I could be right next to them talking...or fucking. Other days the same poster is somewhere in left...oops!, I mean right field, and the connection would be strained at best. But that works in RL too. I spend more time in RL conversations than RL sex...sadly.
