Sexual Assult. "It can't happen to me." Think again.

[Starfish]

If you think you are immune to sexual assult, think again.
Even you men.

Are you aware of what you should do if you are assulted and raped or molested?

Are you aware of the best things to do to prevent a rape?

I feel that a thread like this could really help us to combine and share our knowledge about this horrific and terrible plauge that is raging across our planet.

This was brought up in my mind because we have a local serial rapist in Toledo. He has managed to rape a number of women (over 20 for certain... not sure exactly of the number) and has avaded capture still.
Whoever his next victim is, I fear for her. I know that there will be more, because women don't think about what the potential for the assualts are. They are very high, and it is scary.


Please share, and those of you who have been raped, please share what you did in your experiance. Post unregistered if you'd like. We'll understand.

I was sexually assulted in 1987 on New Years Eve. It was a cross between regular assault and rape. He never penetrated me, because people came to my aid, and he tried to make it look like he was just yelling at me the whole time, while instead he had hit me across the face hard, and had me pinned to a car, and was trying to get my skirt up and had my underware half down and was roughly grabbing me, and alternately struggling to get his dick out. I was fortuneat that he didn't get any farther.

I didn't do the right thing. I went to Denny's with my friend Karen and got into more trouble that night (another story), because I felt that I didn't get raped.

Well, Little did I know what side effects would come from that attack. My fear and suspicion tripled, and I was not able to be intimate with a man for over 3 years. I still have massive trust issues, and I think a lot of it comes from that episode, but I don't know why for sure.

I needed to press charges, and to fight the prick. He was a Marine too. He would have been in deep fucking shit for that. I may or may not feel better about what happened based on that alone, but I should have gotten counseling.

Women, Men, what would you do? What are you prepared to do?

This is not an easy topic, but I fear it is one that most people avoid dealing with until it is too late.

 

[Guest]

I may or may not feel better about what happened based on that alone, but I should h

It's never too late.

 

[MorgaineLaFay]

Ahh Fishie...I read this three times wondering if I should post or not. Alas..I am sick today, my head is fuzzy. What the fuck. I am not afraid to share about myself here. A similar thing happened to me in 88. I was 18. It was in a parking garage, I got separated from my friends looking for our car. This guy that was with me was trying to help me find my friends car, or so I thought. Ultimately in the end...I ended up pretty messed up for a few years. It wasn’t a trust issue for me, it was the fact that I didn’t do anything. I was so scared, I froze. I couldn’t find my voice to scream out for help. I was completely silent, petrified. I am over this now. And I have no doubt that I would handle myself differently if it was to ever happen again. But I will never forget that feeling of being violated and being too scared to take care of myself or fight back.

Morgy

 

[MissTaken]

Personal experience: I was fortunate enough to escape a sexual assault/potential rape at age 20. He was drunk enough that a nasty kick between the legs gave me the few moments I needed to run away.

Two years later, I was not so fortunate. It was a "Date rape" situation in that I wsa having a drink with a new friend, a guy in the apartment complex who was dating one of my friends. He forced me to have sex. Details are unimportant and please, don't flame me with all the obvious questions i.e. "What were you doing having a drink alone with someone you only sort of knew?" I have asked myself those questions often enough for all of us.

What I did? Went home, showered for more than an hour, well past the time when the water turned cold. Wrote a letter to the man who I had first been with, accusing him of creating a slut...I felt very dirty. Eventually I have moved beyond the whole thing, my professional background and friends have been important.

Professional thoughts: If you have been assaulted or raped, go directly to the police. Ignore that driving need that says you want to shower and be alone. DO NOT SHOWER. The police will arrange for some testing etc and showering will destroy any important evidence.

Even if there was no penetration, do not shower.

While it is important to behave responsibly in order to prevent assault, it is NEVER the victim's fault. Responsible behavior may include making sure a friend accompanies you home if it is late or you have had too much to drink. Learning self defense skills is helpful. Having a safe call for blind/internet dates is a good idea. Safe call: a friend who expects to hear from you at a specific time in order to ensure you are okay.

 

[LadyDarkFire]

Working as a peer support for a couple of years, I can tell you, anyone who thinks they will never fall victim to an attack, that it couldn't happen to them, is going to be in more risk. Being cautious is one of the best ways to prevent an attack from happening, and remembering that it is NEVER a victim's fault is a way to stay sane in a very insane situation.

Here's some information from a pamphlet handed out at the Women's Center where I volenteered.

Prevention- It is the best way to avoid a sexual assult.
- Remember, just because you know someone doesn't mean that they will not attack you. Most victims know their attacker.
- Be aware of your surroundings. Looking over both shoulders as you walk across a parking lot does not look paranoid. It shows caution.
- Have your car keys in your hand if walking to your car. Remember to check the backseat and under your car as you approach.
- When in doubt, don't be afraid to ask for someone to escort you to your car. If you have alot of packages, and don't feel comfortable in a quiet, dark parking lot, ask security for help to your car. It's part of what they are there for.

If an attack occurs-
- It is not your fault
- Immidiately go to a Hospital, or the Police.
- Call someone you trust, and who cares to come with you. Having a calm head there with you can really help get through the rough stuff.
- Do not shower or change your clothes before going to the hospital. As hard, and sickening as it may sound, it is something that can preserve evidence, and help you catch your assailant.
- Be sure to tell the hospital what happened. This helps them do what they need to do. A rape kit, along with preventative medical mesures are important.
- Any medication they give you for prevention of STDs, TAKE, and take the full prescribed course.
- Remember that you are not alone. This is an unfortunate occurance that happens to more women than one might be lead to believe. Please, report it, it can help you with closure, and it can prevent the attacker from striking again.

 

[privy2u]

Great Thread Fishie

When i first saw the thread I wanted to post a smart assed answer, but I quickly saw you weren't doing the play on words thing, refering to rough sex or even using play rape as a role playing bedroom game.

All of those came to mind as the thread opened as I anticipated the foundation of the topic. Thanks for not doing any of those things!!

I know Fishie is aware, and a few others, that I was in law enforcement for several years. During that time I worked my share of sexual assault, rape and molestation cases. Let me give you two different case where the suspect is still serving a term in prison.

First is a woman who gave alcohol to 13 and 14 year old juvenile girls staying the night with her daughter. Once intoxicated she began to teach them how to use a vibrator. Guilty-rape by instrumentation/serving 10-20 yrs.

Second is a woman who was out drinking with friends. A man she hadn't seen in 10 years came in and they started talking about they last time they had seen each other their senior year of highschool. They walked outside for some air because she felt a little light headed. Three days later she finally got away from him. He had put a drug in her drink and raped her repeatedly for three days as he drove around the countryside. Guilty-kidnapping-2nd degree rape-/serving life!

Both cases involved a crime commited against another by someone they trusted!

You can't stop trusting people, but, you can be less trusting in certain cercumstances. Expecially if there aren't others nearby that can come to your aid. What to do?

That's a tough one. I tell everyone, men included, to carry a small aerosol can of pepper spray (capsicum) on your key ring. It is the oil of ceyenne peppers in an oil base. Some canisters are foam and if you can find those they are better in my opinion. I have been sprayed directly in the face as a part of training and can vouch for their effectiveness. If you aren't using it to defend yourself you need it to help someone else!!

I do not recommend firearms because most people aren't qualified to use one. Even the little firearms training classes for civilians are a joke. Sure, everone who has attened one will argue with me on that one but, in a gun fight a highly trained firearms expert only shoots at 50% of his ability on a range!!
I don't want anyone around me with a gun that isn't a highly qualified expert like myself. There are several other strong points against guns being carried by civilians, but, I won't go there because it would sound like I am anti-gun and I'm not. I wish all of us carried one on our hip as soon as we were old enough to drive a car.
(I am going to get a load of shit over that one LOL)

The point is we must all be aware of our own surroundings, recognize the potential of dangerous situations to get out of hand and have a plan (any plan) to overcome it and survive!


Sorry about the long text - got carried away! I'll hold my tongue, no, I'll get a beer!


privy

 

[Dhalgren]

deep breath

Funny how advise sounds so good..until the moment something happens and you can't move, you can't speak..and really, your mind doesn't think and work like it did when you heard the sound advise in the first place…


When I was 14, I was walking home from a friend’s house.

Thinking nothing bad could ever happen, I took a side alley to shave a good 5 minutes off my walking time.

The car I heard approaching behind me didn’t really worry me..it was an alley after all.

As it came parallel to me..he grabbed me and pulled me in over him.

Suddenly I was a slight girl…paralyzed by absolute white fear, tied, blindfolded…gagged…and held down in the front seat while he drove some distance away.

The car stopped and he pulled me into a room I never actually saw…

Laid on what felt like a large weight bench, with a knife held at my throat..I was stripped of my clothes and my virginity…fucked so many times I completely lost count..using himself and items that did damage for weeks.

He cut into my flesh..making tiny little cuts all over my body.

I could smell something I swear to this day was rotting flesh..

He told me over and over he was going to kill me..that I should pray to God for forgiveness for being a woman slut.

I knew I was going to die there.
I had no question my parents would next see my dead body left like this.

He touched my gag as he was about to remove it..told me to be quiet and asked me my name..

Before I uttered a word through a gag that was holding in all of my sobs..he suddenly changed his entire demeanor.

I could feel it.

He said I was a chosen one..and that he would be punished if he harmed me. That he was only allowed to kill the marked women. He began to wipe me down with a smelly rag and dressed me without my underwear…tied my feet together and carried me to his car.

Taking all the bounds off but my blindfold, he left me roughly the same place he found me…telling me he would know if he told anyone.

I couldn’t see his license in the dark..as he pulled away.
But I already knew I would never tell a single person.

(which I didn’t until four years after)

I have immense guilt for never trying to stop him..
I just didn’t want to hurt my parents.

I changed forever that day..

I hid my entire self away.
I began to wear baggy clothes.
I still have a hard time trusting.

It took me years to walk in the dark alone.
To break though the horrible trauma.
To talk about it.

 

[Starfish]

Oh Dhalgren. I cannot say a thing right now. I am sorry. I am in tears for you. I am sorry.
I will come back later. Ia m sorry.

 

[Guest]

God I'm so very sorry ladies.

Makes me ashamed to call myself a man when I hear how men have done such harm to some of you.

 

[Basia]

I don't really know how to put this...

So I'll be blunt. I don't know when it started, but I was molested by my biological father untill I was 2 years old. It took me untill I was 16 to be able to be intimate with anyone. And I am so lucky to have the guy that I do, because I still flash back to what happened every so often. Even if it happenes while we are being intimate, he holds me, and lets me know that if he ever lays eyes on him that "the fucker will be dead in a matter secconds".

 

[Laurel]

I think sexual assault is a lot more common than people realize. I'll bet the vast majority of assaults go unreported. That's why I carry my stun gun, baby. Don't mess with me or I'll cook your sausage.

 

[PainSlut]

I was raped when i was 14. i was at a friends house.. and a coworker of hers came by to visit us.. my friend was 16, her coworker 21, they worked together at a local pizza place and i had met him a few times.. he was not familiar with the part of town we were in so he asked me to ride to the store with him so he could pick us up some beer... well me being a silly young girl said of course... what could happen between here and the store only a mile away? so of course i went... i told him to go straight.. but he veered off into the interstate on ramp... i thought he had misunderstood... he forced me to take my shorts and panties off while he drove... we eventually came to his house... he made me walk from the car to the door bottomless and once we were in the house.. it began.. i don't want to go into what happened... i don't even want to think about it... but hours later he pushed me off the bed and made me take a shower.... after he watched me scrub with dish soap he made me get back in the car and he simply drove me back to my friends house and dropped me off in the middle of the street.. it took me a year to even speak of what had happened... and until just recently to be able to calmly discuss it... i can still remember how if felt.. and i would never wish it on anyone...

 

[scylis]

the mall where i work is right next to the worst part of town, the section where pawn shop employees have a life expectancy of less than a year, so i usually wear my "do not touch" get up to work and such. basically it's a black trenchcoat with my nice, steel-toed boots and my mirrored sunglasses that clip to the bridge of my nose. however, the most important part of my get up is my suburito. a suburito is a wooden practice sword for kendo meant to build up strength when practicing your strikes. it's about 3-4 lbs. of curved, solid red oak and it will meat out severe justice to any who try to mess with me or the girls from the jewlery store owned by the same people who own the store i work at.

oh, and Laurel? can i get mine well done? *holds up a beer brat and gives an inquiring look*

 

[DustyWolfe]

*takes a very deep breath as she prepares to spill her soul* I have a theory now. My theory is that once you become a victim you have to toughen up not to be victimized again. Only problem with that is that most people tend to not like you much once you grow a certain hardness to your character.

I know my life story sounds impossible and is incredibly hard to belive that a person can be victimized 3 times in their life, but I'm telling you it happens. Once a victim always a victim, unless you fight with your life to break the trend.

When I was 4 I was playing with some boys that lived down the street. There was only one other girl in the neighborhood and being the tomboy that I was I hated playing with her because she was prissy. The two boys father was a member of the PTA at the school my brother attended and that I would attend the following year. He was also a deacon in our church and my brother's sunday school teacher. Okay.. Now you have some background. Sorry this is a bit scattered.
I was playing at the boys' house one day when their father walked in. He took the youngest boy who was 3 at the time into another room and they never came out. I could just hear Justin sobbing. I got upset and went home. The next night my parents went out of town and left me at a friend's house. The neighbor happened to be my friend's uncle and he spent that weekend at the house because her aunt died of breast cancer. I slept in the spare bedroom all alone. I woke up as "Jack" started molesting me. This happened on and off till I was 7. His two older boys were encouraged to molest me too. The oldest was like 13.
I pushed all of it aside and dealth with it by never saying a word about it.

When I was in the 5th grade I was molested by my teacher. A female teacher! I never would have believed that it would have happened. It went unnoticed for the most part except by a friend who finally told my parents. I stopped eating and dropped from 135 pounds down to 80 and grew depressed. I struggled through the 6th grade and the 7th till my parents yanked me out and put me in private school and counseling. I never really dealt with it though. I always had scars she had given me as grim reminders of the truth. Don't ever think that someone of the same sex can't rape you....

My freshman year in college I was doing a project for my psychology class about child abuse and repression, at the same time I had to have surgery and was under a lot of stress. The memories came spilling back into my mind like a flood of terror. At this point in my life I was also trying to fight with the idea that I liked women. This really freaked me out because I grew up in a Christian home. I was determined to prove that I was not gay.
A couple of weeks later I met this guy, I wont say his name because it really hurts to do so. He charmed me and we spent alot of time together before he asked me out. We went out for several weeks before my birthday and he kept trying to get me to have sex with him. I kept telling him no and pushing him away. Finally, on my 19th birthday we went to the movies and then to this gaming place. He ended up taking me out into the country while I yelled out him asking him where we were going. He told me he was taking me on a horseback ride in the moonlight, though I never believed him. He got me out of the car and raped me. Happy fucking birthday huh?.

It took me 3 months to get away from him because my parents loved him and encouraged him to come over. It happened again and again. He would drug me, inject me. Whatever it took for him to get me he would do.

Now that I'm finally away from him I've toughened up considerably. Though I have been in one abusive relationship since then I refuse to be victimized by a man ever again. I've always been a bit butch but I find that as I grow older I become more so. Perhaps this is how I am dealing with it.

Anyways, sorry for rambling on. Ladies, Men.... Just be careful out there. You never know who to trust these days. Never leave your drink unattended. If you ever have a doubt about someone stay away.
Take my story for what it's worth.
I'm not angry, nor am I bitter.
Just very weary in my young age.
I hope that this helps someone out there.

Dusty

 

[Starfish]

I am not shocked, just saddened by all of this so deeply.

I remember hearing about girls in school saying that their boyfriends had forced them, and one time I had to save my friend from a guy who was trying to take advantage of her, when she was pretty drunk. She was saying no to him over and over, and he wouldn't stop. I didn't know what the fuck was happening, but I saw him groping her and she was saying stop and no, and I just let into him, the prick. Fucker never knew what hit him.


It happens so much. It is repugnant.

Lady Dark Fire has some good advice. Everyone should read it.

I guess I didn't think about how utterly depressing this topic can be, as I can only think of each of your situations in deep sadness, for I wish I could lift these memories and the pain from your minds.

 

[Guest]

I was 19, I was been living alone in a crummy apartment. I was in my bed, alone.

Two men broke into my apartment looking for stuff to steal, probably for drugs.

They found me, one had a knife, I thought I was going to die that night. They both raped me. I was punched in the face to make me keep quiet. Punched really hard.

The one with the knife told me to keep quiet and they left and must have laid on my bed for an hour before I felt like I could move and felt that they had left.

I called the police, 911, and just sat on my floor until they came.

I must have been in some sort of shock because I was still naked when the police arrived. They were great to me, even though I felt so dirty and having to relive it with the questions they had to ask me was traumatic.

I still fear two male body types....all I could tell was the size of them. I never really saw a face clear enough to identify either one. I looked under my bed for years after that night, to be sure that no one was hiding there, waiting for me. Irrational as hell, but that's what I did.

I cry everytime I see that another woman is raped. And all your stories are so sad and haunting. I feel for everyone of you.

 

[RavenStorm]

Well this was a hard topic for me to read about. I was raped as a child by my uncle for a few years. Then a few years ago I was raped again by someone I trusted. I learned at the age of 7 what sex was. I was a grown woman in a child's body never fitting in as either. I still carry emotinal and physical scars from those experiences. I have a daughter and a son that I have to watch over now and would kill anyone that ever thought of hurting them in that way. I feel a connection with the women that have been raped. I will never know what they are going though, but I can relate. I also cry when I hear about another rape case.

 

[Guest]

I'm posting as Unregistered because I've been here a long time, and this isn't a subject that I discuss openly, or want associated with my username. In other words, I don't want it coming up in conversation. My past isn't fun, it isn't funny, and it isn't something I enjoy having to *defend* to people who would call me a liar, just to be ugly and hateful.

I was molested by a neighbor as a child. I knew what sex was, in the form of rape, from 7 years old.

When I was fifteen, I was at a school sponsored summer function. I made "friends" with a 22 year old RA, who flattered me and treated me as an equal. Someone who made me feel like an adult, rather than a scared child from the "wrong side of the tracks." I was at the summer program, to some extent, to escape my mother, who beat me regularly for years, until I put a stop to it by leaving for good at 17. I was a mess, and he preyed on it.

Several of us from the dorms stayed up late at night playing cards. It was summer, it was nearly the end of the session, and the dorms were all but empty. Slowly, the crowd dwindled. I had consumed some alcohol (thinking, "I'm a grownup!") He kissed me, I kissed him back. He pushed me to go further; I resisted but did not leave. He pulled me to him, and I tried to leave, and that's when it got really bad.

I left with my clothes literally hanging from me in tatters, blood running down my legs, tears blinding my sight. I had screamed myself into laryngitis, to no avail. I had to walk across the same dorm where he worked, where I lived at the time. My bed was only a few hundred yards and several walls from his. I was terrified: of him; of what would happen if my mother found out--who constantly called me a bitch and a whore already, though I was neither.

My dormmate found me three hours later, passed out in the shower stall, still bleeding. I spoke to no one. I completely blamed myself. She tried to call the police. I got dressed and left, walking around alone for hours, in the dark, *wishing* for death.

Six weeks later, he was arrested for doing it to someone else, another teenage girl. Nobody knows how many there were before me, I have no idea if there were more after, other than the one with the courage to speak.

Protect yourself, at all costs. You do not get back what is lost in a rape. Ever.

 

[LakotaMoon]

Reading this brought so much aggressions up...
It leaves me speechless.

I am lucky. Nothing like this ever happend to me. And I pray to god it never does.

Please, take care of you!

 

[SilverVeil]

I had posted my experience in the How To section asking for some advice. I still have not resolved my problem, I have put it on the back burner for awhile.

But something that bothers me is this : When I was in college, I was date raped. I called the police. He was arrested and convicted.
Yet when it involved a family member when I was a child I told no one.

I was a kid, I did not know who to tell, and even then my relationship with my family was not the best. I am as confused today as I was then.

I have told people. Yet I have not told my family about my family member and neighbor. I may never do so.

How can I be so strong, yet so weak ? And here I thought I understood myself.

 

[mistyc]

I had posted in the threat "Have You Ever Raped a Woman"
I'm not going to relate my story here as well, but I just had to say that because of the support I received in that thread, I am finally asserting myself and am no longer a victim just waiting for something bad to happen. It took 25 years to overcome this, and if it wasn't for the wonderful support I received in Lit. I would still be sitting behind my wall.

But I do have to say that more often than not, the legal profession will let the rapist free more so in the cases of date rape or rape by a family member than that of stranger rape.

Because of this I have no faith in justice being served, nor any faith in the legal profession.

That is why many rapes go unreported. But I must emphasise that ALL rapes should be reported. It is about time that the legal system sit up and take notice that this DOES happen more and more. Thank goodness for the DNA testing. But it still comes down to victim against offender unless there are actual witnesses.

Seek medical help immediately, I know showering to wash away the filth is first thing in the mind of the victim, it washes away much of the evidence. It is this evidence that will make or break a case.

If you do not have family support, go to a trusted friend, someone you can trust not to ridicule, or judge. Seek counselling.

For those that have been through the most disgusting crime against women I have one thing to say to all of you. You are survivors. You will come through this a stronger person. I know because I was also a victim of rape.

 

[Vivacia]

http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=62508

For those that may want to read it here is the link to the other rape thread that mistyc refered too...

I too posted on that thread as an unregistered as I wanted to tell my story without risking my family (who even now don't, and hopefully never will, know) finding out about it.

My heart goes out to all of the women, girls and men, that have posted on either of these threads...

 

[Vivacia]

Bump

 

[perks]

13, principal of my "Fundamental Christian" school. He took my virginity, trust. I went pretty crazy after that, fucking my way through life. I dealt with it through my art, which freaked my teachers out in HS and college. The last sculpture I created was a 6 foot metal cage penis with a skeleton arm ejaculating from the tip holding a carved human heart. The shaft of the penis was covered in photos of me. I went to culinary school after that. I finally told my parents 7 years after the fact. It doesn't go away.

 

[Sabineteas]

I don't think it ever will go away. It will always be in a corner of your mind and will leap out without warning. Physical trauma can be healed, for the most part, mental trauma, I don't know for sure.