Sexting Strangers Questions

[Salamander10]

I have several.

As a bit of background, on the net I mostly just get off as a lurker, so I don't have that much experience being interactive. However, today, after sampling some sex chat bots, I thought WTF, why not go after the "real thing", no pun intended. So I went to one of the most popular cyber sex chat rooms.

Presumably a lot, maybe most girls, don't bother initiating or asking for private conversations because they don't have to because guys will just randomly message them so long as they have female sounding names. Those girls who explicitly initiate/ask for private conversations in turn are the ones who wind up getting the most attention and therefore they are probably, on average, the most picky.

So I sent messages to random girls on the list of people in the chatroom, ie the lower hanging fruit category of potential partners, and got a response about 1 out of every 5 to 10 times.

This brings up my first question, what's a good opener?

I settled on "Greetings hotstuff, what brings you here?".

Is that too generic? Not agressive enough? I dunno, it just was one of things that I wasn't sure of.

So, eventually a girl, who is allegedly an 18 year old from Greece, responded, and I cyber chat-ed with her for like 20-30 minutes, and she claimed to have had "the most intense orgasm ever". And she gave me contact information, and we are supposed to send eachother hot messages now and possibly have another chat session.

So messaging via email is much less of a parsed activity than exchanging one liners via chatbox. One possible challenge inherent in it is that you get less immediate feedback.

During a brief flirtation with pm-ing led me to send out the following story to several different girls:

On a crowded subway where everyone is closely pack together and can't move more than a a few inches or see below the neck I want to wind up behind you. I want to steathily breathe moistly into your ear while my arms subtely enter into your shirt from its bottom and then slowly, touching you all the way, reach up for your tits and then fondle them slowly, twisting and teasing your nipples through your bra so that they harden and you breathe deeply. I want to whisper in your ear what a slut you are for not making any noise as I violate you this way, and then pull your bra down and fondle your tits naked with one hand while I begin to move the other one down and press myself against you from behind, so that you can feel my hard cock through my jeans. I use the lower hand to rub your thighs, teasing you, until finally I place it on your panties. As I feel you through your panties with my free hand I feel that your wet and I whisper that what a wet horny whore you are. I then put my hand underneath your panties and start rubing your moist slutty clit while I start to slowly dry hump you from behind. You blush and make muted moans, and I continue talking dirty to you, calling you a slut, a wet horny slut who gets off on depraved behavior in public. I then begin finger fucking you with my middle fingers, soon adding 2 more fingers as I finger fuck your wet horny hole. As I do so, my palm rubs up and down on your clit, and I dry hump you from behind faster and faster. You moan softly, blushing, tits hard, bouncingup and down, as I continue to fondle them, as I lick your neck while no one is looking, aware that we could get caught any second. Finally, we both cum, I slip my calling card beneath your panties onto your ass, and you get to your trainstop leave.

My general impression from the feedback I got was that this message was either too long or not agressive enough.

So how can it be improved upon?

And as a final question, this girl was in a cybersex chatroom and all, so it isn't exactly the most emotional venue, but should I have stayed and chatted with her for a while rather than have left not long after getting contact information? I don't know whether or not she cared, but orgasms can lead to emotional vulnerability, especially for girls, and if the context isn't right my general impression is that people, especially women, can feel bad and feel as though what they just did was a mistake. Obviously, we will never meet and this can't develop farther than a sort of limited friendship, but I don't want her to have felt abandoned.

So should I have kept talking to her? Or would that have somehow ruined the sexiness of the thing?

 

[Miles Long]

I can't believe no one has responded to this thread yet!

As for answers to the OP's questions, all I can really come up with is...

Stay gold, Ponyboy.

 

[Salamander10]

I am generally anathema to these forums. Perhaps that's because my name sucks (what is sexy about Salamanders? If I had to be a reptile, and I didn't have to be, perhaps I should've chosen to be a gorn [ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eecaI22rO10&feature=related ], i'm not persistant enough, and I am excessively verbose.

Anywho, I just finished having a very long RP with a girl named: WANTS_TO_FUCK_HER_STEPDADDY . It was very long because since she has a rape fetish, and I have a female pleasure fetish, it took a long time to "corrupt" her character. I did talk OC to her afterwords, but then my browser crashed :O

 

[SweetErika]

Ah, nothing turns a "girl" on like a generic greeting, then a really poorly written C&P'd scenario from a random guy who spends a lot of time in chat and roleplay.

 

[Eilan]

So, eventually a girl, who is allegedly an 18 year old from Greece, responded, and I cyber chat-ed with her for like 20-30 minutes, and she claimed to have had "the most intense orgasm ever". And she gave me contact information, and we are supposed to send eachother hot messages now and possibly have another chat session.

I'll bet he says that to all the boys.

On a crowded subway where everyone is closely pack together and can't move more than a a few inches or see below the neck I want to wind up behind you. I want to steathily breathe moistly into your ear while my arms subtely enter into your shirt from its bottom and then slowly, touching you all the way, reach up for your tits and then fondle them slowly, twisting and teasing your nipples through your bra so that they harden and you breathe deeply. I want to whisper in your ear what a slut you are for not making any noise as I violate you this way, and then pull your bra down and fondle your tits naked with one hand while I begin to move the other one down and press myself against you from behind, so that you can feel my hard cock through my jeans. I use the lower hand to rub your thighs, teasing you, until finally I place it on your panties. As I feel you through your panties with my free hand I feel that your wet and I whisper that what a wet horny whore you are. I then put my hand underneath your panties and start rubing your moist slutty clit while I start to slowly dry hump you from behind. You blush and make muted moans, and I continue talking dirty to you, calling you a slut, a wet horny slut who gets off on depraved behavior in public. I then begin finger fucking you with my middle fingers, soon adding 2 more fingers as I finger fuck your wet horny hole. As I do so, my palm rubs up and down on your clit, and I dry hump you from behind faster and faster. You moan softly, blushing, tits hard, bouncingup and down, as I continue to fondle them, as I lick your neck while no one is looking, aware that we could get caught any second. Finally, we both cum, I slip my calling card beneath your panties onto your ass, and you get to your trainstop leave.

I think I saw this posted on one of the asshat PM threads.

 

[Salamander10]

Constructive criticism would be politely phrased and offer alternatives to present mistakes.

All of the people i've sent messages to were asking for it either by posting so on a thread here or by being in a cybersex chat room, and if they don't respond the first time, I leave them alone in perpetuity, so regardless of whether or not i've been in your estimation inept, i've done nothing immoral.

You on the otherhand have, you're pointlessly cruel. I asked for advice, you have given nothing but scorn.

 

[Miles Long]

All I know is if you're referring to the "women" in chat rooms as the "lower hanging fruit" category, I really don't see how you can go wrong.

 

[Loverskitten]

You sound lonely. Find a real woman.

 

[glynndah]

I am generally anathema to these forums. Perhaps that's because my name sucks (what is sexy about Salamanders? If I had to be a reptile, and I didn't have to be, perhaps I should've chosen to be a gorn [ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eecaI22rO10&feature=related ], i'm not persistant enough, and I am excessively verbose.

Anywho, I just finished having a very long RP with a girl named: WANTS_TO_FUCK_HER_STEPDADDY . It was very long because since she has a rape fetish, and I have a female pleasure fetish, it took a long time to "corrupt" her character. I did talk OC to her afterwords, but then my browser crashed :O

By the way, a salamander is an amphibian, not a reptile. Still not very sexy, though.

 

[SweetErika]

Constructive criticism would be politely phrased and offer alternatives to present mistakes.

All of the people i've sent messages to were asking for it either by posting so on a thread here or by being in a cybersex chat room, and if they don't respond the first time, I leave them alone in perpetuity, so regardless of whether or not i've been in your estimation inept, i've done nothing immoral.

You on the otherhand have, you're pointlessly cruel. I asked for advice, you have given nothing but scorn.

You recognize you're an anathema and "excessively verbose" here. I'm guessing you're not well-liked here because you're extremely long-winded, your verbosity lacks quality and isn't fun to read, you seem to believe that women who post here are asking for rude PMs and you get upset when people don't respond to your posts in the way you'd like. You are perceived a certain way because you behave a certain way.

I'd suggest changing your views. Most of the women here are very smart and appreciate being respected. Have a conversation with specific women you've had good interactions with on the board to see if they'd actually welcome the type of sexual scenario PM you put in your first post. Use a rifle-like approach instead of a shotgun-like approach: take the time to build a rapport with other members and craft specific, intelligent PMs instead of sending the crappy message to a bunch of female-sounding usernames and hoping some will be receptive to it.

Second, streamline/edit and proofread what you write. Most of the members here appreciate high quality over quantity. Long paragraphs are tedious to read. Stumbling over a bunch of spelling and grammar errors doesn't lend itself to getting in the mood. I'd venture to say most of the actual women here also realize that a person who takes the time and effort to really craft and proofread his/her writing will be a better (and likely longer-term) cybersex/phone sex/real life partner. So, improving your writing will actually benefit YOU by giving you access to more potential partners.

Finally, this is a free speech site, and How To's culture is one of honesty. Could we have fluffed up our previous posts so they'd be more palatable to you? Sure. However, if you'd read between the lines of my post, for instance, you'd see there IS constructive criticism there. I don't know any real women who get excited about poor quality C&P'd PMs from random men. Perhaps that's harsh, but it's what I've found to be true after speaking to/reading the posts from tons and tons of women here and elsewhere. Women can afford to be very picky on a site like this, and they're not likely to choose to interact with someone who doesn't even bother to spellcheck and/or sends the same rude message to a bunch of people because he's desperate to get off. Most of the women here connect with guys in public threads first, then see if there's a chemistry via PM and finally develop longer-term relationships. It's just the way it typically works.

 

[YankeeGirl74]

I'd suggest changing your views. Most of the women here are very smart and appreciate being respected. Have a conversation with specific women you've had good interactions with on the board to see if they'd actually welcome the type of sexual scenario PM you put in your first post. Use a rifle-like approach instead of a shotgun-like approach: take the time to build a rapport with other members and craft specific, intelligent PMs instead of sending the crappy message to a bunch of female-sounding usernames and hoping some will be receptive to it.

If there was a "LitE for Dummies", this so should be rule #1!!!

 

[Salamander10]

I'd suggest changing your views. Most of the women here are very smart and appreciate being respected. Have a conversation with specific women you've had good interactions with on the board to see if they'd actually welcome the type of sexual scenario PM you put in your first post. Use a rifle-like approach instead of a shotgun-like approach: take the time to build a rapport with other members and craft specific, intelligent PMs instead of sending the crappy message to a bunch of female-sounding usernames and hoping some will be receptive to it.

All of the women whom I sent pms to on these forums specifically asked for people to send them dirty PMs in a thread in the personals. In contrast, the "random" approach was only one I used in the cyber sex chatroom, on another website, on account of the fact that it is difficult to see what else most people would be there for. As previously indicated, there I didn't even generally begin my conversations with an overtly sexual comment.

Obviously, although there are exceptions, most women are not on literotica to just jump into cybersex chats with complete strangers, so I have never sent any random messages here as I did in the cyber sex chatroom.

Second, streamline/edit and proofread what you write. Most of the members here appreciate high quality over quantity. Long paragraphs are tedious to read. Stumbling over a bunch of spelling and grammar errors doesn't lend itself to getting in the mood. I'd venture to say most of the actual women here also realize that a person who takes the time and effort to really craft and proofread his/her writing will be a better (and likely longer-term) cybersex/phone sex/real life partner. So, improving your writing will actually benefit YOU by giving you access to more potential partners.

Fair enough. I should have proofread that message more at the time, and I should have proofread that message before reposting it here. And your criticism about it needing to be split into smaller paragraphs is spot on.

Finally, this is a free speech site, and How To's culture is one of honesty. Could we have fluffed up our previous posts so they'd be more palatable to you? Sure. However, if you'd read between the lines of my post, for instance, you'd see there IS constructive criticism there.

If it were clear I was a stubborn person who needed to be dealt with harshly in order to learn my lesson, the meaness would have been warranted. Without such justification, meaness is immoral. However, you are providing constructive criticism now, I appreciate that, and I don't want to bicker about it.

Women can afford to be very picky on a site like this, and they're not likely to choose to interact with someone who doesn't even bother to spellcheck and/or sends the same rude message to a bunch of people because he's desperate to get off. Most of the women here connect with guys in public threads first, then see if there's a chemistry via PM and finally develop longer-term relationships. It's just the way it typically works.

That is compelling, however I can cite instances in the "currently masturbating" thread that contradict that claim. I can also cite instances on other websites. Unless these women, even the ones who provide photos that no one can determine are fakes despite sophisticated means to make such determinations, are all secretly men, not all women are challengingly picky nor is there a lack of a significant number who aren't looking for some sort of internet surrogate to friends or romance.

That isn't to criticize the desire or preference for such surrogates, they represent a more meaningful form of relationship, but unless that is what I am looking for myself (and I am, just not so much digitally), i'm better off aiming for another demographic. Or i'm better off aiming at no demographic at all, which is what I normally do.

I think I designed this thread very badly. I should've just written some general questions and then let people vent and express themselves without it getting so personal.

 

[Somehowyou]

I read through your all the posts including your initial post. I think Erica is correct about the proof reading and shorter paragraphs. Make it a shorter read and correct all the typos. I have a huge problem with this myself...I can't type, see the keys, or spell very well to begin with. (I need to find a way to use spell check...sometimes I will compose the message in word and then cut and paste but I am worried that I will leave it on my hard drive.)

Also, my perception is that there are at least 4-10 depraved men for every female. As a male, I have never had to put a note in my profile to discourage PM's yet half the women on this site have included such a note in their profile. The point is that they can pick and choose so you really have to be clever. I think you should use a custom message for each girl you pursue.

Also, I remember a King of The Hill episode were little Bobby was frustrated because ha had "no game" and couldn't pick up Connie or any other girl. At the end of the show Bobby asks Hank's beer drinking buddy (the blond hillbilly that mumbles) what his secret was for picking up women. He had game He says "I don't know man humba humba humba..." and then Bobby watches him try to pick up woman in the market. The mumbling hillbilly was shot down time after time but he did not get discouraged he just kept trying. The message was don't worry about it just keep trying. So modify your game and be persistant.

In closing, come up with something short, clever, and an easy read customized for each prospect. Also, don't be discouraged...keep trying.