Sexless Marriages

[Fleurdelille]

It's almost been a month now
Looking down, seeing you lying there on the bed. Drowsy, one foot already in the sleeping realm.
"Let's get this over with, am I right?" I say with a wink, knowing that's exactly your kind of humour.
You giggle, such a cute smile you have. "Just put it in."
I might have a have a high sex drive, but just seeing someone naked doesn't always do it. I need foreplay every one in a while.
Exploring your nakedness with my hands certainly keeps you awake, extremely ticklish as you are. My kisses too, even though my beard does half the job itself.
"What's the matter? You're horny all the time, every day" you quip
Sighing, barely hard, looks like I am going to have to do it all by myself afterall.
No use playing around, no exciting sexplay, lets just fuck this one out. Strapping on the rubber.

 

[OneSevenOne]

This is my very first message here...
Today I "celebrate" 50 months of celibacy. She left a year and 9 months ago after 5 years of sex maybe once every 6 months, she was the one blocking me off. It took her only 9 days after leaving here to open her legs for her new ex.
I am *so* ready to have sex again...

 

[ccs29745]

This is my very first message here...
Today I "celebrate" 50 months of celibacy. She left a year and 9 months ago after 5 years of sex maybe once every 6 months, she was the one blocking me off. It took her only 9 days after leaving here to open her legs for her new ex.
I am *so* ready to have sex again...

So are all, or at least I am. Dumb question of the day.... Can you get pregnant from virtual sex.lol

Sorry, I'm just in a really good mood today for some reason

 

[Mrifonly]

Celebrate the fact that you are free

This is my very first message here...
Today I "celebrate" 50 months of celibacy. She left a year and 9 months ago after 5 years of sex maybe once every 6 months, she was the one blocking me off. It took her only 9 days after leaving here to open her legs for her new ex.
I am *so* ready to have sex again...

At least you are free now and can start over sooner rather than later.

Early on I tortured myself wondering if my wife was seeing someone else, since I couldn't imagine her drive dipped so quickly so soon. Nope (at least I've never found any evidence of it after some pretty diligent searching). So I've stayed with it for 18+ years and accepted the little sex and physical intimacy I've been able to get. Now I'm here looking, and I'm grateful for it, but it took me a long time to wake up. And I struggle with the sneaking around and "cheating" aspect of it.

You have a shot at more without as much wasted time. I'm happy for you.

 

[jayjay04]

DDBustyBrit - is he at a stage where it maybe just isnt working as it did?
Im a little bit younger than you guys, so I have the joys of worrying about that to come, or I suppose not if it is not being used anyway.

Just a thought. Might not be you, lets face it you dont look too shabby but more just one of those things?

 

[takkatajim]

Been there, hated it. A dead bedroom turns me into a lousy man.

 

[Doctor Joe]

I’m hoping for the best for you. My situation is very similar. I’m using my vibrator 2-7 times per week because my husband can’t get an erection anymore and won’t get treatment for his leg pain, or for other medical issues. I’ve stopped asking him to see his doctor and I have stopped asking him to hug me or kiss me because he doesn’t even want to be the affectionate husband he was before. I stopped trying to initiate sex a long time ago. I’d be happy if he’d at least initiate a hug. We’ve been through couples therapy and all that. Nothing works. We talked earlier this year and I told him that I am going to get my needs met with other men. He has accepted it.

He did accept it? Wow. at least that seems to be one unselfish gesture!
So how are thinking of going about finding the men and the sex you crave??

 

[DDBustyBrit]

DDBustyBrit - is he at a stage where it maybe just isnt working as it did?
Im a little bit younger than you guys, so I have the joys of worrying about that to come, or I suppose not if it is not being used anyway.

Just a thought. Might not be you, lets face it you dont look too shabby but more just one of those things?

Nope it’s a fair question and it’s not a factor. He’s fit, healthy, has some serious shoulder issues that cause pain, but basically he’s just not into it anymore.

I read all these posts, I love our group but man it can get depressing in here!

TTanywhere - I hear ya on signals, I have also started to pay more attention and shocker - I have also been flirted with in Lowe’s!!

 

[ccs29745]

Nope it’s a fair question and it’s not a factor. He’s fit, healthy, has some serious shoulder issues that cause pain, but basically he’s just not into it anymore.

I read all these posts, I love our group but man it can get depressing in here!

TTanywhere - I hear ya on signals, I have also started to pay more attention and shocker - I have also been flirted with in Lowe’s!!

Wasnt me! Dog gone it. Have some very attractive women come in my lowes and I scare them sometimes when I tell them welcome back.

I try to remember my customers so they feel more individual than just feeling like another customer.

 

[MutualMatureMike]

Nope it’s a fair question and it’s not a factor. He’s fit, healthy, has some serious shoulder issues that cause pain, but basically he’s just not into it anymore.

I read all these posts, I love our group but man it can get depressing in here!

TTanywhere - I hear ya on signals, I have also started to pay more attention and shocker - I have also been flirted with in Lowe’s!!

It's depressing and supporting, common ground and similar experiences, knowing we're not alone, or freaks, but part of a wider and more common picture really does help.

 

[Polranny]

It's depressing and supporting, common ground and similar experiences, knowing we're not alone, or freaks, but part of a wider and more common picture really does help.

I totally agree, It's good to know the situation is not that unusual but from a societal point of view it's depressing

 

[TTawhere]

TTanywhere - I hear ya on signals, I have also started to pay more attention and shocker - I have also been flirted with in Lowe’s!!

It’s one of those skills that I need to work on, really.

I’ve been married for 22 years and the only person I flirted with was SWMBO during that time. We’ve got our own language and vocabulary of flirting - some verbal, some not. The kind of thing you develop together over time. It’s still there for us, it just doesn’t go anywhere now.

The first thing is that you’ve just got to be open and pay attention.

There’s also a very fine balance between a flirt and being creepy. Without knowing the other person, that’s a serious tightrope act with no net.

As a married guy it is really hard because some women might smile at you and flirt some with no interest, but if you return it wearing a ring, all of a sudden you’re this disgusting letch, while others don’t care. Go figure.

Gotta kiss a lot of frog princesses...

 

[deepster]

I was in a sexless marriage for 11 years, of which at least 7 were so bad, I would get it once or twice a year, after a lot of begging. Then a unicorn came by and all of a sudden the urges of the wife woke up and I turned into a pseudo cuckold.

Past 3 years have been filled with watching porn and lusting after the ex, all while switching between the left and right hands.

Welcome to Heaven! Or is it Welcome to Hell? I am not sure which

Anyone else with this problem?
I have a high sex drive and the wife doesn't.
Looking for others with this problem, and possibly helping fill our needs.

 

[DDBustyBrit]

It’s one of those skills that I need to work on, really.

I’ve been married for 22 years and the only person I flirted with was SWMBO during that time. We’ve got our own language and vocabulary of flirting - some verbal, some not. The kind of thing you develop together over time. It’s still there for us, it just doesn’t go anywhere now.

The first thing is that you’ve just got to be open and pay attention.

There’s also a very fine balance between a flirt and being creepy. Without knowing the other person, that’s a serious tightrope act with no net.

As a married guy it is really hard because some women might smile at you and flirt some with no interest, but if you return it wearing a ring, all of a sudden you’re this disgusting letch, while others don’t care. Go figure.

Gotta kiss a lot of frog princesses...

Well and then there’s the whole sexual harassment factor more than ever for men I think... it’s risky for you to even make that first move unless she leaves you in no doubt it will be welcome.

 

[ccs29745]

Well and then there’s the whole sexual harassment factor more than ever for men I think... it’s risky for you to even make that first move unless she leaves you in no doubt it will be welcome.

Very true on sexual harassment stuff. Been fired for it and never screwed ther girl. I was not into her and she hated it. So she claimed I sexually harassed her after she wore down the 32 guys she had slept with and I told her my name would never be on that list. Im still not on that list

 

[TTawhere]

Well and then there’s the whole sexual harassment factor more than ever for men I think... it’s risky for you to even make that first move unless she leaves you in no doubt it will be welcome.

Professionally, this is not an issue where I work, because it is such a small male-dominated one. The two women at work, I have no interest in.

In the wider world, I’m much more subtle and wouldn’t flirt in an inappropriate way - or certainly one that would get me arrested!

 

[BlondeNina]

As a married guy it is really hard...

It's hard for women who are interested in married guys, too. Sometimes, a married guy just won't take a hint OR he'll take a hint, entertain you but pull back when it's tome to get down to some real business.

 

[sinfulpleasure67]

It's hard for women who are interested in married guys, too. Sometimes, a married guy just won't take a hint OR he'll take a hint, entertain you but pull back when it's tome to get down to some real business.

And you live where?

 

[HughManitee]

It's hard for women who are interested in married guys, too. Sometimes, a married guy just won't take a hint OR he'll take a hint, entertain you but pull back when it's tome to get down to some real business.

No pulling back here, we go down that road I’m all in

 

[Beachaged]

I think most guys are cautious due to the whole sexual harassment issues. No guy wants to lose his job or anything else for that matter. So the guy wants to make absolutely certain the woman is into him. I think the other issue for people who have been married for a long time they haven’t dated in a long time and aren’t used to subtle signals from someone of the other sex.

 

[Mrifonly]

I think most guys are cautious due to the whole sexual harassment issues. No guy wants to lose his job or anything else for that matter. So the guy wants to make absolutely certain the woman is into him.

Absolutely true of me. It's too risky. I don't want to blow up my whole life.

 

[philos]

I’m not worried about that. My problem is years of rejection have killed my self confidence. Twenty plus years of feeling like a pervert for wanting it or a gargoyle because I’m not wanted takes it toll.

 

[deepster]

Stray/stay is my current debate

For being on the receiving end of the other half straying, I can only say its the worst feeling ever. And based on that personal experience, I wouldn't recommend that to anyone.

 

[Wanking_Frank]

Thank you for your candor. My ex and I never discussed anything about our sex lives. Though knowing my ex, she would never have discussed it. Her mechanism is to avoid confrontation and difficult conversations, bury feelings and then just run away from a situation when she hits a breaking point. I'll admit that I needed and still am working to be a better communicator and work on other issues.

A part of me wonders if the vast number of relationships simply have an expiration date. That no matter what we discuss or try, our sex lives have just simply run their course. Then when both people find a new partner, sex becomes rejuvenated for both partners.

You might be right. My wife and I are at a crossroads and after talking with a counselor, we’re taking the slow road toward separation. The lack of sex is perhaps not even in the top 10 reasons for it, but we’ve just seemed to reach the point where we don’t want to be around each other anymore and can’t do anything “fun” together.

I guess I gave up on the sex years ago, there’s only so many times being rejected that a person can take, and it wasn’t worth asking / begging/ persuading etc anymore.

I hope we can get through this process and move on with our lives in a more healthy way. It’s hard pretending there’s nothing wrong to the rest of the world.

 

[DDBustyBrit]

It's hard for women who are interested in married guys, too. Sometimes, a married guy just won't take a hint OR he'll take a hint, entertain you but pull back when it's tome to get down to some real business.

I agree with you, unfortunately not all men are like Lit men! Even some Lit men are all talk until you want to get down to the ‘real’ business and then they bottle! Personally I think they should be sued as false advertising if you’ve invested time!