sexless for over 2yrs

[satindesire]

I recommend yahoo messenger chat, with or without pics and webcam.

Wow, love your profile pic. Do your perfect breasts scare men away?

Do you have to try hard to be creepy and predatory or does it just come naturally to you?

 

[mrtomthumb]

I just want apologize to the original poster for the mini-hijack.

hope your thread gets back on track and you figure out what is best for you.

whatever you do have fun and don't feel pressured into anything you are uncomfortable with.

 

[Sam1888]

There is a lot of advise going around here about therapists, but if the Scot in Scotgirl means you are Scottish you should know that you don't need therapy. All you need are good friends you can really talk too, as they will empathise and help you through this. Failing that you open up to a fellow Scot who will listen and reassure you.
At the end of the day you are a woman and all women are beautiful to men, you hold all the cards when it comes to sexual encounters. So don't feel you can't get naked in front of a man, as the look in his eyes when you disrobe will tell you all you need to know about how desirable you are.
Just beware, there are a lot of men out there who are after just one thing and they will tell you anything and promise you the earth to get it. So take things slowly, make sure you trust the man, you decide too let close to you and you will find that things can be wonderful for you again.
I am here if you need to talk and I have no ulterior motives. (although having read that back I think that is exactly what someone would say if they did have ulterior motives so you will have to take a leap of faith as I don't know how else to put it). (sincerity just doesn't come across in the written word. Lol)

 

[satindesire]

There is a lot of advise going around here about therapists, but if the Scot in Scotgirl means you are Scottish you should know that you don't need therapy. All you need are good friends you can really talk too, as they will empathise and help you through this. Failing that you open up to a fellow Scot who will listen and reassure you.

I'm sorry, are you truly implying that because she's Scottish, she doesn't need therapy?

 

[Texguy84]

I'm sorry, are you truly implying that because she's Scottish, she doesn't need therapy?

Well, the last sentence at least could be read to say that she should find a Scottish psychiatrist, which I'm sure exist.

 

[Que]

SD is right; having sex before you've healed from a broken relationship only delays the healing not helps it.

I know you're craving the validation of a man finding you attractive and being physically intimate with you, but right now, you need to make YOU the focus of your attention. And therapy is a great way to do that.

I'm so sorry that you're going thru a divorce; it is an awful and stressful thing to experience.

What the lady said. I am still beating my head against the wall thinking time will heal without work and sex on the rare occasions its available in my environment wil validate. No and no. but i persist.

 

[Sam1888]

I'm sorry, are you truly implying that because she's Scottish, she doesn't need therapy?

What I was implying is that as she is Scottish she should know that therapy is a racket dreamt up by people that want to make money out of people who don't know any better or who have no friends and don't know how to open up to each other.
I am Scottish and know from experience that true friends are there for you no matter what you are going through. I feel sorry for those who do not have real friends and have to resort to therapy, where you have to pay someone to be your friend, how sad is that.
The advantage of being amongst Scots is, that even if you do not know each other, you can tell each other your problems and not be judged, but instead receive a sympathetic ear and advice that comes from the heart and is not motivated by what can be gained from a situation. i.e. money charged by therapists.
By the way have you ever noticed that therapist is made up of 2 words, The and Rapist, not the sort of person I would want to spill my secrets too.

 

[Texguy84]

What I was implying is that as she is Scottish she should know that therapy is a racket dreamt up by people that want to make money out of people who don't know any better or who have no friends and don't know how to open up to each other.
I am Scottish and know from experience that true friends are there for you no matter what you are going through. I feel sorry for those who do not have real friends and have to resort to therapy, where you have to pay someone to be your friend, how sad is that.
The advantage of being amongst Scots is, that even if you do not know each other, you can tell each other your problems and not be judged, but instead receive a sympathetic ear and advice that comes from the heart and is not motivated by what can be gained from a situation. i.e. money charged by therapists.
By the way have you ever noticed that therapist is made up of 2 words, The and Rapist, not the sort of person I would want to spill my secrets too.

The difference between good friends and a professional therapist is that one of them is professionally trained to deal with issues, and I'm guessing it's not any of your good friends. You're not exactly giving off a vibe of knowing what you're talking about when you can't figure out the root of the word "therapist" either. English as a second language?

 

[satindesire]

What I was implying is that as she is Scottish she should know that therapy is a racket dreamt up by people that want to make money out of people who don't know any better or who have no friends and don't know how to open up to each other.
I am Scottish and know from experience that true friends are there for you no matter what you are going through. I feel sorry for those who do not have real friends and have to resort to therapy, where you have to pay someone to be your friend, how sad is that.
The advantage of being amongst Scots is, that even if you do not know each other, you can tell each other your problems and not be judged, but instead receive a sympathetic ear and advice that comes from the heart and is not motivated by what can be gained from a situation. i.e. money charged by therapists.
By the way have you ever noticed that therapist is made up of 2 words, The and Rapist, not the sort of person I would want to spill my secrets too.

Yeah, I'm just going to tell you right off the bat that you honestly have no idea what you're talking about.

When I was a little girl, I was brutally raped by a man that I thought was my -friend-, and I loved him like a brother. My friends couldn't help me through that, I was suicidal and they were teenagers who had no life experience or actual training in counseling. And it wasn't because my friends were American instead of Scottish. I'm sure that yankee teens are NO different than scottish ones, for Chrissakes, and to say that an entire country full of people is ALL ONE WAY (I.E. not judgmental) is patently ridiculous. The fact that you're sitting here judging people who need therapy, AND judging therapists, makes your comment completely contradictory.

The fact that I went to therapy saved my life. If I had listened to people like YOU, I would be dead right now, by my own hand.

So before you go off spouting B.S. like this, you need to take a hard look in the mirror and realize that the universe does not revolve around your opinions.

 

[mythtrav16]

What I was implying is that as she is Scottish she should know that therapy is a racket dreamt up by people that want to make money out of people who don't know any better or who have no friends and don't know how to open up to each other.
I am Scottish and know from experience that true friends are there for you no matter what you are going through. I feel sorry for those who do not have real friends and have to resort to therapy, where you have to pay someone to be your friend, how sad is that.
The advantage of being amongst Scots is, that even if you do not know each other, you can tell each other your problems and not be judged, but instead receive a sympathetic ear and advice that comes from the heart and is not motivated by what can be gained from a situation. i.e. money charged by therapists.
By the way have you ever noticed that therapist is made up of 2 words, The and Rapist, not the sort of person I would want to spill my secrets too.

Without entering in to the racial side of this statement regarding the nature of Scots compared to the rest of the world, I'd just like to say that there is wisdom in your words.

I agree with what you say about the value of true friends. I would gladly trade the pro bono services of the most prestigious therapist for a heart-to-heart with a true friend any day of the week. Not only do true friends know you better than some anonymous business person you contract to advise you on personal matters, but as you say, you can also trust that their motives aren't financially motivated.

But the trap is that you never truly know who your true friends are and who are just fairweather friends, until you really need them.

satindesire, I'm delighted that you were able to find a good therapist to turn to in an hour of need that most of us will never truly understand. It is obvious from your example that there are good therapists out there who really do help their patients.

But as I mentioned earlier, I myself was driven to therapy by my own troubles and I honestly believe the therapists I've seen have done me more harm than good. One in particular, I know is motivated primarily by greed as she keeps letting slip that she can't wait to be rich enough to be able to stay home all day and watch television(???).

I guess what I have to say is that one should be careful, because in the world of psychiatry, as in the rest of the world, there are sharks in the water. And in many cases, a good, genuine friend is far more valuable than anybody you can hire. But in other cases, a therapist might be the best way to go.

 

[Sam1888]

Apology

I really didn't mean to cause offence with my remarks which were meant to be light hearted as the problem we were dealing with was not of a life threatening nature. i.e. Someone trying to gain the confidence to be naked with a new person.
I meant that for this type of problem your friends and sometimes strangers should be able to help you.
I am truly sorry for what you have experienced and cannot pretend to know what you have been through. I am sure that professional help was invaluable in your case and in other similarly serious cases.
I would ask that you forgive my insensitivity, I was purely thinking about the post I was replying too and did not think of the bigger picture.
I think too that you have been overly sensitive to what was just a bit of fun, although I fully understand why.
I did not mean to come across judgemental I just wanted to encourage the original poster to confide in friends and seek their support as a means to conquering her fears.
Again I apologise for upsetting you.

Sam

Yeah, I'm just going to tell you right off the bat that you honestly have no idea what you're talking about.

When I was a little girl, I was brutally raped by a man that I thought was my -friend-, and I loved him like a brother. My friends couldn't help me through that, I was suicidal and they were teenagers who had no life experience or actual training in counseling. And it wasn't because my friends were American instead of Scottish. I'm sure that yankee teens are NO different than scottish ones, for Chrissakes, and to say that an entire country full of people is ALL ONE WAY (I.E. not judgmental) is patently ridiculous. The fact that you're sitting here judging people who need therapy, AND judging therapists, makes your comment completely contradictory.

The fact that I went to therapy saved my life. If I had listened to people like YOU, I would be dead right now, by my own hand.

So before you go off spouting B.S. like this, you need to take a hard look in the mirror and realize that the universe does not revolve around your opinions.

 

[Icarus_Fallen]

I'm going to join the boat saying therapy is a great way to go. I had a therapist when I was in deep depression during college and he helped turn my life around. It was nice to have someone who was so objective, and who honestly could confirm my suspicions, that I wasn't just lazy or stupid, that I was actually depressed. It made a different in my life and it can't hurt to give it a try. Of course, that wasn't the only thing that helped, I began to be more honest and open with my friends and family, and it made a difference too. What therapy ultimately gave me was a way to be honest with myself.

 

[scotgirl]

Ho my i seem to have caused a rift in lit with this thread.. thank you for all ur comments .. i believe that no matter where u originate from people are all the same ... i'm proud to be scots but that does not mean that anyone else should be less valued xx i have found a few people here to chat to about my feelings and for that i am extremely grateful xx all my friends are in Scotland and me in England so not easy to talk to them and they are too close to be objective too xx so a great big thank you from me to the lit community xx