sex... when is right?

[Monkey_man_99]

Hello all!
I am still fairly new to the wonderful boards and people here, but when I do post, I always get wonderful replies.

This post will be the shorted story and a question.
my questioin: when is the right time? or How do you know the right time has approached you?

the story: I have been in a long distance relationship with my current girlfriend for about 4 months now, I see her about once a month, with any luck a little bit more then that. I will be seeing her next weekend, on saturday and maybe sunday also. the topic of sex came up in one of our nightly converstaions. We talk on the phone for about 2 hours or more every night. Both of us are still virgins.
There has been some forplay before this, but both of us decided to wait a little bit longer.
Also, this won't be at my house but my grandmothers house... so...
what does anyone think?

 

[Falkieri]

The only real answer to that is that it is right when it is right. When you both are ready and the time is right you'll likely know it. There's no real way to quantify it otherwise.

 

[midwestyankee]

It seems to me that there is a natural progression within each relationship as it develops. At various points along the way, differing levels of intimacy feel right to the partners. This is completely dependent on the individuals involved.

My response to your question is a bit like the old joke about buying a yacht: if you have to ask the price, you can't afford it. In this case, since you are asking, chances are your relationship isn't ready yet.

Enjoy getting to know each other in person. It should be a lot of fun simply to discover each other's worlds that way. Let the sex take care of itself.

 

[sheath]

It seems to me that there is a natural progression within each relationship as it develops. At various points along the way, differing levels of intimacy feel right to the partners. This is completely dependent on the individuals involved.

My response to your question is a bit like the old joke about buying a yacht: if you have to ask the price, you can't afford it. In this case, since you are asking, chances are your relationship isn't ready yet.

Enjoy getting to know each other in person. It should be a lot of fun simply to discover each other's worlds that way. Let the sex take care of itself.

What he said.

Bottom line for me...when I'm ready to be with a man, I know. I know it in my heart and my soul. There are no questions. I just know what I want, know what he wants...and it just happens.

And without all those questions, it's a magical thing.

S.

 

[CelticFrog]

Okay, I'm jumping on the 'you'll know' bandwagon here.

I'd like to point out that in every single one of my relationships that turned sexual, that 'knowing' came at different points in each. And felt differently each time, as well. It's a different feeling/sensation/soulshock for each person.

My three.
Ang

 

[firefighter02]

Maybe it is just me, but I'm not sure that sex at Grandma's house is ever right for the "first time"

I just wouldn't want to associate that wonderful experience with the smell of muscle rub, vicks and lillac beauty powder.

 

[Monkey_man_99]

Maybe it is just me, but I'm not sure that sex at Grandma's house is ever right for the "first time"

This was my first thought also, this is the main reason that we were having any second thoughts.

And we both agreed, that grandmas house just istn't the place for the first time. although I do spend a fair amount of time there that I do consider it on of my homes...
thank you everyone!
MM

 

[SensualCealy]

This may be way off but, have the two of you had phone sex?
If you havent its a good way to be ready for the actual time you do have intercourse.
By having her tell you what she would like you to do to her as she masterbates will give you an idea of what she would like when you are together.
This way you can also feel out what she would be willing to do for you, which can help if she is or isnt into giving BJ's ect.
Other wise Id leave it for a time when you arent at Grandmas house, you want to make a good impression with Grandma, and hearing moaning and groaning in the middle of the night isnt a way to do it.
Good luck,
Cealy

 

[Vixandra]

Monkey Man- I understand where you're coming from. My first lover (now hubby) and I were like that, though it was only an hour apart but both of us were in school, me a sr in HS and him in collage, with part time jobs that kept us hopping. So time together intematly was few and far between sometimes.
I agree with the current band wagon- you'll know when you're ready. Like your first kiss, it'll happen when its supposed to.
Note of caution- be safe. Try to get her on birth control pills (if anyone asks, they also do wonders for acne, regulating one's periods and other nifty tricks) at least two weeks if not a month before sex and use condoms to be doubly sure. Being a parant at a young age is not an easy task, especially if you could have avoided it with some foresight and planning.
Have fun, be gentle with her and make sure you tell her you love her afterward.

 

[jupiter lilly]

It's weird, but this is one of those things that I think you just "know". When the time is right there won't be any hesitation or questioning...you'll just know it is right.

I think it's best to be prepared...have condoms or whatever protection you decide to use, but try to resist choreographing the whole event. You'll be stressed enough as it is when the time comes...no need to pile on extra expectations.