Sex Sprains

[SierraNoel]

I have to ask, what is so humorous about sex injuries and sprains that makes those around the individual in pain giggle with glee?

I recently have been on vacation and have been *thinks of clever way to put it* buggering the living daylights out of a friend here.

Well, as I haven't been active in quite some time my legs have been rather boisterous in the complaint of the aforementioned vigorous activity.

So, last night I come home to where I am staying and my friends just sat and laughed at me each time I attempted to get up and move around without going, "OH MY GOODNESS THAT FUCKING HURTS!"

Needless to say I provided hours of endless giggles for them, and gave my partner in sex sprains quite the ego boost.

I hope you all are having a splendid day and I shall check back in later on.

Sierra

 

[OhMissScarlett]

After about a year of being fairly chaste and very lethargic, I had a session of sex on and off for about eighteen hours with a man who was, ahem, seven years younger than I. For two weeks after, I felt like I'd been in a car accident. It was a good feeling and I had been a trooper, but ouch.

Seems like the handful of friends I complained to were way too entertained by the whole thing. Mostly I think they were jealous, but also everyone's probably gone through something similar. All of us can remember discovering really good sex and waking up with stiff necks and sore parts.

 

[SummerMorning]

My calves are sore something awful. That's what going for a six hour hike in light snowfall and covering about 1300 metres of elevation and 21 km of distance does.

Oh... wait. Sex sprains...

yeah. Those too. I hate it when sensitive skin gets rubbed sore. Its sometimes a pain when you have to "adjust" your boxers every now and again.

 

[R. Richard]

After about a year of being fairly chaste and very lethargic, I had a session of sex on and off for about eighteen hours with a man who was, ahem, seven years younger than I. For two weeks after, I felt like I'd been in a car accident. It was a good feeling and I had been a trooper, but ouch.

Seems like the handful of friends I complained to were way too entertained by the whole thing. Mostly I think they were jealous, but also everyone's probably gone through something similar. All of us can remember discovering really good sex and waking up with stiff necks and sore parts.

Actually, no I can't. I play Kung-Fu and work out on a seven days a week basis. It is a lot of work and people I know ask me why I work so hard. There are several reasons, but the ability to have wild sex and wake up ready for more wild sex is one of the good reasons.

 

[neonlyte]

I've lost so much weight in the last twelve months that none of my boxers fit. So I've given up wearing them, this leaves Percy rubbing the inside of my jeans producing a red sore mark across half it's head making me appear like some kind of demented idiot waving a tiny flag when disrobed before the darling girl who for some reason, finds it all quite amusing. She taking me shopping next week.

 

[oggbashan]

It is embarrassing when you slip a disc during sex.

'Sorry, darling, I can't move.'

'What do you mean, you can't move?'

'I've slipped a disc.'

"You mean I'm stuck under you...?'

"Er... Yes.'

It does take the shine out of sex. It might be fatal with someone else's wife.

Og

 

[scheherazade_79]

Taking things to a more gruesome extreme - I have a male friend who trims his pubic hair. Probably not the wisest idea, because he can be quite careless and clumsy. To cut a long story short, he snipped his foreskin by accident and woke up on the bathroom tiles a couple of seconds later with blood everywhere.

 

[dreampilot79]

Just a proof that sex is good exercise and it pays to stay in shape.

I wonder if my Doctor would perscribe an hour of sex each day instead of a 20 minute walk?

I wonder if my significant other would be inclined to assist in my health kick

Dreampilot

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

I don't recall ever regretting any after-effects, nor feeling slighted by the humour it provided intimate friends (we're all laughing at the irony). I like that good sex can leave its mark.

Perdita

 

[LadyJeanne]

We giggle because it's funny to imagine all the perverted things you must have been doing to cause such soreness. Imagining people you know having sex is funny. It is.

 

[cantdog]

I like it that sex leaves its mark. --Perdita, prominent Mexiphilosopher
------

Beginners at the sport are especially prone to sex accidents. I had a bruised upper lip I could not acknowledge the cause of, as a very young man.

My dad noticed and told me the following sage advice: "Keep jabbing with your left and he'll be far enough away so you can duck those."

But it had been a she. She had bucked and mashed my lip. I am just as glad I never told him the story, though.

 

[Guest]

She had bucked and mashed my lip.

Good opening sentence for coming-of-age tale.

Mexifilosofista, Perdita

 

[Teenage Venus]

Sex sprains can have a bonus: One young Marine tried to impress me and ended up in sick bay. His medical documents stated "Strained left testicle whilst having intercourse in an upright position." That on his docs, plus having his balls in a sling was embarassing. More gratifying from his point of view was that he missed his draft to Iraq as a consequence.

 

[Guest]

More gratifying from his point of view was that he missed his draft to Iraq as a consequence.

So sex with you can save a person's life, or undermine national security depending on how you look at it. Wow.

A roommate fell out of bed during sex and sprained his ass muscle. The resulting spasms were so bad, he had be ambulanced to the hospital. He spend college finals and Christmas there.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Sex sprains can have a bonus: One young Marine tried to impress me and ended up in sick bay. His medical documents stated "Strained left testicle whilst having intercourse in an upright position." That on his docs, plus having his balls in a sling was embarassing. More gratifying from his point of view was that he missed his draft to Iraq as a consequence.

That's fucking great. Can;'t go to war because of sex-related injury.

I've often found my self thinking, after an extended session of being "on the bottom" in the lying-on-back-with-hips-tilted-up position, thinking it was like one twenty-minute-long abdominal crunch.

Man I hate it when sex is work.

 

[Guest]

after certain long time sex-sions
i sometimes feel like i have hip dysplasia


erm...
my SO doesnt think its funny, but i laugh pretty damn hard when i tell her that its time that i get
"put down"

 

[carsonshepherd]

after certain long time sex-sions
i sometimes feel like i have hip dysplasia

You too? I thought I was the only one, if I push that left leg too far it'll pop and give me one hell of a cramp. Ow.

 

[Guest]

You too? I thought I was the only one, if I push that left leg too far it'll pop and give me one hell of a cramp. Ow.

one of the many differences between you and me

is
that
I LIKE PAIN... *grin*

 

[carsonshepherd]

one of the many differences between you and me

is
that
I LIKE PAIN... *grin*

I don't mind inflicting it.... just hate HAVING it.

 

[impressive]

It is *THE* primary reason I work out. Slow, tender lovemaking is fine -- occasionally (like once a year or so) -- but give me a vigorous, sweaty romp anytime!

No one's yet mentioned a tongue sprain. I'm curious if that's been an issue for anyone.

 

[Guest]

I don't mind inflicting it.... just hate HAVING it.

*huge sappy grins*


~~~~~~
Imp, fast and furious.... oh god, squirm!
never had tongue injuries but i think i used to have more feeling in my fingers a while ago...

wont bore you with details...

 

[lucky-E-leven]

I think it's funny when others are sore after sex, simply because it means they worked their ass off and I begin to get images.

My own injuries are typical muscle soreness, scratches, temporary tattoos in the form of dental records, and the inevitable hip dislocation. None are permanent and I'm actually quite fond of them while they remain. Never been such a wimp that I thought to request being 'put down', though.

~lucky

p.s. I expect to be an absolute train wreck in mid-January.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Way back when, "Honeymoon Elbow" was a common condition for new husbands after spending the wedding night with his arm around his new bride. And any newly married guy who complains about a back ache is begging for a lot of teasing.

Pulling a charley horse (muscle cramp) in the middle of sex probably isn't as catastrophic as Og's slipped disc, but believe me, it sure can break the mood.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[The_old_man]

My wife and I occasionally get a bit carried away in "The Heat" and one of us will cramp up a thigh or jaw muscle. I often cramp a calf muscle if on top. Calls to the chiropractor are not uncommon the next day.



Eddited for spelling T.O.M.