Sex Partners

[PacificBlue]

Do you ask about prior partners before you sleep with someone? Does it matter to you? How many is too many?

 

[SoftPeaches]

My husband was in the Navy, and he was stationed in Japan. He is a good looking man. I have no illusions. Besides, he is very good in bed (when he chooses to exercise those skills, of course), which hints toward his experience. He is also 9 years older than me, so he had more time to do his thing.
He doesn't really know how many he's been with, and told me so when I asked him. I did not pursue further.
Of course, I am no beacon of virtue either
I don't really have a number for how many is too many in my book. But good question, still.

 

[april-wine]

hmmmm i don't think i have a number, that is too many....as far as wondering i don't really....the past is the past, you can't change it....if you love someone, you love them for what they are now.....my 2 cents anyway

 

[lilminx]

Do you ask about prior partners before you sleep with someone? Does it matter to you? How many is too many?

I used to ask my partner when my numbers were still in the single digits, but now I just make sure that they are safe with me. I mean, someone can sleep with 1 person and still not be "clean". As a matter of fact, most of the guys who I know of that sleep around are SAFER than the guys who don't very often.
At this point, I would rather not know b/c I wouldn't want to have to tell a guy how many people I've been with.

 

[PacificBlue]

I'm back to my 2nd question I posted in the other thread. Define "Safe". Does being safe mean condoms during intercourse or no oral sex or STD testing before sex? How does being "safe" look?

Help out the confused Mermaid...

 

[SoftPeaches]

safe to me is a condom, and testing yourself every six months (if you are very active).

 

[Latina]

GODDDD, but I'm glad I don't have to worry about this shit anymore! Only one guy now, I'm his first, he's my third sex partner but hadn't had sex for 7 years before we met, and then only 6 times in 17 years with my FIRST husband (my first partner was only twice, and that was 27 years ago). We're about as safe as you can get. We save the wildness for EACH OTHER, no extra partners!

Sorry, don't mean to offend those with multiple partners, just that this works for US and I'm glad. I can rest easy, knowing I'm not likely to catch any sexual diseases, yet can and do have a great sex life.

-- Latina

 

[shadowsource]

What's Latina doing with MY penis?

Nah, just kidding....
I find out what my prospective partner's attitude is, which will subtly include questions of health. I am not concerned at all about numbers, save perhaps if someone seems too inexperienced.

 

[Calamity Jane]

I don't ask, I don't care. I'm married now, but in my sordid past, if I wanted to fuck someone, I did. Number of partners was never an issue... I preferred men who wouldn't get attached... condoms were used, though fellatio was given freely with no protection... i was tested every three months...

god, it was fun!

 

[Guest]

I have always asked potential partners about their sexual history, but I certainly don't judge.

 

[GuyJD]

I, personally, wouldn't want to know about my girlfriend's past relationships. However, I've heard some helluva stories though.

 

[nasty]

I never had the oppurtunity, but, her past sexual history wouldn't concern me, if I knew her well enough. Perhaps, I'd still ask her, just out of curiousity.

 

[Mensa]

How many is too many?

When she handed me the phone book, I thought that was a bit much!

 

[The Dipsomaniac]

yeh to me the number of previous partners isnt that important. Its loyalty to you while their with you that matters. And that doesnt mean being a prude - just being honest and up front. ie - some people have mu;tiple partners - but as long as each person knows about it and is comfortable - cool!

 

[MissTaken]

Safe

Safe equals condoms and testing for me. In the event that I have any reason to suspect someone has been exposed to HIV, flavored condoms work nicely for oral.

I do have lengthy discussions about sexual history, but not as interrogation. It generally comes up during the normal course of getting to know one another. At least, that is true for me.

The only safe sex is NO sex and I, for one, am not able to practice abstinence!

 

[CelestialBody]

I did ask

 

[Azwed]

CB if you are thinking of the pill then you need to read willing and unsure's thread about it. There is alot of good info in there that you can use.

 

[Willing and Unsure]

i've got a couple of them actually... the one i started yesterday most specifically about it (its 99.5% effective if you take it right so ya know).. and there's one about some of the other stuff that goes with it in the how-to section (mainly the gynecologist visit and all that stuff)... i just started taking the pill (this week actually) and so far i havent gotten any weird side effects... i'd definitely suggest it if you want to go without condoms to get something else for the whole birth control thing (my roomie will agree with me on that one)

 

[CelestialBody]

 

[Basia]

I've only been with one guy, and he was also a virgin before we started making love regurarly... So... I never had to worry about his former partners.

 

[cymbidia]

When i was looking, i'd always ask.. However, my questions didn't concern number of partners but the possibility of disease contraction.

I haven't been sexual with sexually inexperienced people in many, many years. The only people i've wanted to play with for the last 20 years have been very experienced Dom/mes, a skill for which i carefully selected. Even if i had the patience (and time) necessary to teach a wanna-be Dom/me how to play at my level, there would be no guarantee that an inexperienced person would *want* to go there. No, no, no, hesitant little almost-virgins haven't been of any interest to me at all for many years.

Therefore, since the only people i ever spoke with frankly and intimately about sexuality were those i *knew* were very sexually experienced, the subject was never of any importance at all.

"Safe", though. I know something about that.

To me, for me, safe means no sexual contact at all with someone you aren't sure isn't carrying an STD. It means *always* using condoms, looking at each other's bodies to be sure there are no open sores before beginning any kinda sexual touching, and both of you having AIDS/STD checks every 3-6 months until you can be sure that there is no danger of contracting anything ugly. It means no blood/other bodily fluid exchange beyond kissing, at all. It means care and caution until you are sure enough of your partner to bet your life, literally, that s/he is not out fucking around with someone who *is* infected with a nasty while you're off at work or visiting your grandmother.

 

[bi_theway]

i don't ask...to me its better that i don't know how many...but i do want to know if they ever had anything(STD)......i don't ask how many and i won't tell how many i had