Sex from behind....

[bioskaieros]

and also fast sex.The first seems scary because I wouldn't see my partner and the second seems to be abusive? I may just be scared it may be so... Any advice? I have no experience.

 

[silverwhisper]

i completely fail to understand:

1. how having sex doggy style (as it's more commonly known) is frightening. people don't suddenly spontaneously appear in a room or other setting in flagrante delecto in a mass of writhing arms, legs and other things. people generally proceed from a non-sexual context into a sexual context and presumably, they know who's there and whether anyone else is present.

2. how it's possible to think fast sex is abusive.

i'm utterly mystified by your questions. ?

ed

 

[Georgexnxx]

i completely fail to understand:


i'm utterly mystified by your questions. ?

ed

Ditto...

 

[Reba67]

Well, sex from behind, it's not like you don't know he's coming towards you. And, it's not entirely blind, you can turn your head a bit and see some.

Fast sex being abusive? I'm not sure I follow what you mean.

 

[pinkflames]

Sex from behind can be better because you can't see your partner.

 

[Vixandra]

and also fast sex.The first seems scary because I wouldn't see my partner and the second seems to be abusive? I may just be scared it may be so... Any advice? I have no experience.

On the off chance that this isn't a trolllet, I'll give a serious answer.

Sex from behind, ie Doggy Style sex, is a different set of sensations, but doesn't mean that you can't see or interact with your partner. Set yourselves up in front of a mirror if you like watching her face.

By fast sex do you mean rapid movements, hard thrusting and slamming into her? If so, as long as she's properly "warmed up" with foreplay and you're not huge, it shouldn't be a problem. Make sure she's wet, use some lube if she's not, no shame in that and have a great time.

Sex becomes abusive when its something one of the participants didn't want to do or they are harmed without their consent. Another example would be when it is done to mentally harm someone or to humiliate them without their consent.

Consent, to me, is a key defining issue of abuse in many cases. There are those people that are so psychologically mind-fucked by their partner that they'll agree to things they don't want or cannot take safely, but those are extreme examples and while more common then many of us would like, are hopefully the exception, not the rule.

If you ask if she wants it harder/faster/deeper and she says yes, go for it.

 

[bioskaieros]

Sorry,I am actually female and only 5ft.Am I worrying too much about this?

 

[bioskaieros]

Also,about the fast sex,I worry it's not loving and I'm being used.Is that just me?

 

[SophieUK]

Also,about the fast sex,I worry it's not loving and I'm being used.Is that just me?

if you feel you're being used (and you're not happy with that.. because some are!) then its obviously not right..

That's nothing to do with doggy or hard and fast...

 

[redgiantuk]

and also fast sex.The first seems scary because I wouldn't see my partner and the second seems to be abusive? I may just be scared it may be so... Any advice? I have no experience.

i think if thats all you're getting then it needs to be addressed but as part of the repertoire of love making then the more the merrier. Mix it up and enjoy it.

 

[pinkflames]

Sorry,I am actually female and only 5ft.Am I worrying too much about this?

I'm 5ft and really I've never had any issues with either doggy position or fast sex. I know I may have seemed a little flippant with my comment about not been able to see my partner in doggy position but that can be of some benefit if you're shy, although it's not very intimate.

Fast sex implies passion to me, not abuse. As for feeling used, I've felt that way a few times and honestly, it had nothing to do with the speed of his humping.

In the context of a trusting loving relationship, doggy or hard fast sex just add spice.

 

[cryforme1v]

no offense but, from what you have said in this thread alone, you dont sound old enough to be having sex much less considering it.
Just my opinion.

 

[bioskaieros]

I know about the passion;though I have yet to have sex,so...I will be 21 soon,perhaps it is too young anyway? I don't know how to discuss my fears.

 

[midwestyankee]

I know about the passion;though I have yet to have sex,so...I will be 21 soon,perhaps it is too young anyway? I don't know how to discuss my fears.

It's too soon to have sex if any of the following conditions exist:

• You are under age in your jurisdiction.
• You are unprepared for the potential consequences of disease, pregnancy, and emotional trauma.
• You know so little about the mechanics of the act that you are in danger of being hurt or damaged by an equally ill-informed partner.
• You have to ask if it's too soon to have sex.

 

[fire_breeze]

I know about the passion;though I have yet to have sex,so...I will be 21 soon,perhaps it is too young anyway? I don't know how to discuss my fears.

It's too soon to have sex if any of the following conditions exist:

• <snip>
  
• You have to ask if it's too soon to have sex.

Echoed.

 

[BeingElly]

I would try fast sex from behind. I think you may be pleasantly surprised if you take the plunge. It hits the spot for a lot of women. And if you have a sense of object permanence (which most develop in infancy...) you'll know that just because you can't see him, he's still there. Your vagina is built to have babies and it's pretty hard to hurt it with a dick. This is all assuming you don't have underlying issues. A lost of women who express feeling "used" in a negative way (I personally, sometimes enjoying feeling like a boyfriend is just fucking me to fuck me because he enjoys it and I get off on knowing he's enjoying himself) can sometimes have abuse in their past or something like that. I'm not trying to insinuate anything, but that kind of thing can cause fears that other (like some here) deem irrational and silly. Good luck.

And if you're just a, what did someone say? trollet? then at least come around and start a sexy convo! :]

 

[Chuck_Anderson]

Love the Rear Entry Position.

Sorry,I am actually female and only 5ft.Am I worrying too much about this?

Sex is wonderful, slow or fast. It doesn't matter. Sex can be fast if your both so frustrated that you can't enjoy it. Premature ejaculation or orgasm. That is fast sex. Enjoy your partner, hold him, kiss him, feel him with your hands and body. Before you try full penetration, enjoy the feel of him. Let your self go. When he finaly enters you be relaxed, and enjoy the moment fully. As for rear entry, or doggie style, you don't have to get on your knees. It can be done while lying on your stomach and enjoy having your breasts rubbed by your partner. How ever you do it. Its wonderful and to be enjoyed the fullest. If you care to drop me a line and let me know how things worked out. Via PM. My ex was only 5' and we both loved the rear entry. And we also enjoyed anal sex. Both doggie style and laying flat on her stomach.

 

[Black_pantyhose]

Also,about the fast sex,I worry it's not loving and I'm being used.Is that just me?

I find that my partner being behind me can be a lot more intimate than when he's facing me. For starters I actually prefer my partner behind me but that's just me. But there are a variety of ways for you to have sex, with your partner behind you, without actually having to do it on all fours. For example, you can simply be on your knees and within reaching distance of some form of support (wall, chair etc). Or you can both be on your sides "spooning", or on your backs but with your leg stretched over him. All of these positions allow your partner to still touch you and kiss you while fulfilling the "doing it from behind" aspect.

If this is your first sexual partner and you find that you're still not comfortable with some experiences yet you must say to him. It may be a case that he's so excited that you are both having sex together that he's trying to do everything possible but if you aren't comfortable with some of the scenarios yet then you must say so. Doing something you're not comfortable with only compounds and worsens how you feel.

As a side note, there is nothing wrong with a bit of rough sex in a loving or mutually respectful relationship. There is nothing wrong with wanting to please or be pleased in a loving or mutually respectful relationship. It doesn't make you slutty to have sex doggy style. It doesn't make you a prude to not want to. But it is silly to do something you're not comfortable with or with someone you don't trust.

 

[NippleMuncher]

Sex is what you make of it. Both vaginal and anal can be painful, both can be abusive, both can make the woman feel used. It is the intent and attitude of the participants that make the outcome an enjoyable experience or forbidden act.

You're young and inexperienced, I recommend you have some long and frank discussions with your partner about sex in general as well as anal sex in particular. Set guidelines, boundaries, and have both lube and condoms available when you BOTH feel the timing is right. Having a "safe" word to halt proceedings wouldn't be a bad idea either.

The average male member is no larger than the average bowel movement, so there should be no problem or "training" required for you to accommodate your partner. Again, lube and condoms are a must, and absolutely NO vaginal penetration after anal sex without either changing the condom or a thorough cleaning of him with soap and water.

Good luck to you both, please report back with your progress.

 

[Vixandra]

My apologies for assuming you were male, bioskaieros. There really wasn't anything gender indicative in your initial post (or maybe I missed it due to being tired, not sure).

You're ready to have sex when you feel ready. I'd recommend it be with someone who loves you and cares about your feelings, both physical and emotional. Or, if love isn't an option, at least someone who understands that you're a virgin and won't harm you by intent or negligence. There are some really great guys out there, take the time to find one.