sex frequency

[massage45678]

My boyfriend and I only have sex twice a month... is that normal?? were in our early 20's. how often do you guys have sex?

 

[Vixandra]

Wow- I'm married and in my early 20's and if we have sex less then twice a week there's a problem.

But every couple's differant- there's nothing wrong with how frequent you guys have sex as long as the both of you are happy with it.
And if you're not happy- talk to him about it.

 

[nycphoto]

I would say this

I would say that if you guys can only get together and have sex twice a month because that is when you have; for example the house free, a friends apartment free, etc.. Then having sex twice a month is normal. However if you guys have all the freedom and there is only sex twice a month and you want more and he does not then you have a problem.
If you wish to discuss this personally PM me and I will get back to you.

 

[darkangel85]

wow twice a month ive been havin sex at least 10 times a week although it dep one the reason your not havin sex i mean if u want it ask or do summat special some times it just takes that extra effort if you get what i mean if he stil dont wanna yeah talk to him.

 

[Bobmi357]

Ask any couple, the man would probably reply "Not often enough" and the woman would say "its just fine".

 

[darkangel85]

We went wrong then because i have a way higher sex drive than my bf. And can go for much longer...

 

[Anopheles]

Certainly SEEMS a little low for a young couple. When I was in my early 20's my wife and I were having sex on average 3-5 times per day. Now though, we've settled into maybe 3-4 times per week and it's very satisfying for both of us. But no matter what anyone tells you, "QUALITY outweighs QUANTITY"



Geez, never thought I'd hear myself say those words.....

Good luck!

 

[Eilan]

My husband and I have sex anywhere from two to five times a week, depending on his work schedule and what else is going on in our lives. Sometimes we'll go without for two or three days, and then fuck like bunnies every day for the next week or more!

My hubby and his first wife had sex once a month; this was, in his eyes, a problem, but it was by no means the only, or even the biggest, problem in their relationship.

I don't think that any of us can tell you what's normal for YOU. If you're happy with what you're doing, then great. If not, get those lines of communication open NOW before things get worse.

Hope that helps. . .

 

[done_got_old]

My boyfriend and I only have sex twice a month... is that normal?? were in our early 20's. how often do you guys have sex?

I'm 56 and I have sex more than that!

I agree that quality is more important than quantity, but..........

 

[Tat2mom]

I wish I got it more than twice a month. Unfortunatly for me my husband is having an affair with the TV.

 

[Chi-Guy31]

Sex frequency is tough to compare from couple to couple, because as was said, quality counts and if twice a month is quality sex for you guys then that is good enough. I have been dealing with this dilemma for awhile now, since 2000, when my wife and I were just dating, then living together and now married. I love her to death and she loves me, but we have rarely been able to get our frequency to exceed 2-3 times a month. There are some physical issues with her back and neck from an old car accident which affects her greatly. I am 32, still have a huge sex drive and after all this time of fighting for more frequency I pretty much resigned myself to enjoying sex by myself and whenever she is able to have sex with me, then we will get it on. Recently, we had a 3wk drought while she was ill and/or in pain, so I satisfied myself pretty well during this time until last Monday when we could finally make love again. And then I go back and forth on the quality issue. She is not a very demanding lover, never asks for anything specific or takes control during, so sometimes it can be a bit one-sided but she still enjoys herself.

So, yeah, it sounds odd, I can sympathize with you, but what can ya do? I mean, I really do love my wife and the topic has been discussed ad naseum since 2000 with little change so I must make my peace with the status quo.

 

[SweetErika]

Make sure you're putting this in perspective...most of us are here because we love sex and enjoy it regularly, so what's "normal" or "average" will likely be much higher in this group than the general public.

Our sex life ebbs and flows...sometimes we do it everyday, others it's a few times a month. It depends on how much time we have together and what's going on in our lives at the time. If it's a problem, we talk to eachother, and both make an effort to make it happen...clear our schedules, be more romantic, reduce stressors, etc. If you're unhappy with the frequency and/or quality, you need to talk to your partner and work together to eliminate problems and reach a compromise.

 

[DarkWizard?]

Only twice a month must be like hell.

 

[Usul2005]

Not that you haven't got enough two-cent pieces to start your own fucking bank, but here's one more. I'm in my late 20's and I work 250 miles away from my gf all week long, so when I get home it's time to get busy. But before I took this job we were having sex twice a week, which was no good for me.

So we talked about it, and come to find out she wasn't giving it up often because she was scared to get pregnant. She's allergic to birth control and I hate rubbers, but I had to make some sacrifices.

So what's the moral of this rambling diatribe by Usul? Talk to him, maybe he's scared of knocking you up, or scared that you'll knock him up (huh? nevermind) but whatever it is once you get it outta him, you'll get it into you.

Peace peoples!

 

[spike95]

3 wk drought....i'm going on almost 3 months...wifey has ZERO drive and quite frankly i've given up trying to get it. sad part is we're in our early 30s and its been this way since the wedding in 1999...we'll go several months (longest is 10) w/ out it. she's fine with it and it doesn't seem to matter that i'm not, because even on the rare occassion that she is into it, it generally ends up sucking. oh well...i guess if you want something done right, you've got to do it yourself.

 

[Bobmi357]

I'm jealous of the people claiming its happening daily for them. I'd settle for a couple times a week.

For those going through dry periods. TALK TO YOUR SPOUSES!!! There's more going on here than just a general lack of sex. If you don't make your unhappiness known, its only going to get worse. Sex isn't the most important thing in your relationship, but its right up there in the top five. Lack of desire can be the result of anything from health related issues, to relationship problems and if you don't get it out into the open. For both of you to deal with. You're heading for the big D.

TALK AND LISTEN PEOPLE. Or be prepared to talk to a lawyer.

 

[Lynxie]

I'm jealous of the people claiming its happening daily for them. I'd settle for a couple times a week.

For those going through dry periods. TALK TO YOUR SPOUSES!!! There's more going on here than just a general lack of sex. If you don't make your unhappiness known, its only going to get worse. Sex isn't the most important thing in your relationship, but its right up there in the top five. Lack of desire can be the result of anything from health related issues, to relationship problems and if you don't get it out into the open. For both of you to deal with. You're heading for the big D.

TALK AND LISTEN PEOPLE. Or be prepared to talk to a lawyer.

Once again, Bob beat me to what I wanted to say. But I'll keep typing anyway, since redundancy is becoming my specialty...

Communication is key to maintaining a healthy, happy, lasting relationship. If you and your partner have always had mismatched sex drives, it's one thing. But if you used to have sex a lot more frequently and find yourself wondering what happened, it's probably time to have a good long talk and figure out why. It's generally a good idea to know what's going on with your own sex life.

When my husband and I first started dating, we used to have sex as often as we could see each other. About four years into our relationship, I developed some health issues that dramatically reduced the frequency of our lovemaking. We still had sex, but instead of a five times a week we were lucky to have sex a few times a month. It went on like this for four and a half long years (though once in a while I'd have a good week here and there and we'd hump like bunnies all week). I had surgery this past fall to fix my issue, and I'm almost back in working order - already our sex drive is starting to heat up again. We're having sex at least once a week now. I doubt we'll ever go back to fucking every day for any long period of time, but the quality has improved so much since we started dating that we're both quite fine with that. The most important thing is that we talk about it, and we both know we're happy with our sex lives.

Without communication, relationships are doomed to fail. If you're not having sex as often as you think you should be, you should at least know why.

 

[Rigger100]

Hi Massage

If the sex you and your b/f have is good don’t worry as its not really a numbers game, as you develop your own sexuality along with your partner, frequency should increase naturally and freely.

Andy

 

[Anopheles]

I'm jealous of the people claiming its happening daily for them. I'd settle for a couple times a week.

For those going through dry periods. TALK TO YOUR SPOUSES!!! There's more going on here than just a general lack of sex. If you don't make your unhappiness known, its only going to get worse. Sex isn't the most important thing in your relationship, but its right up there in the top five. Lack of desire can be the result of anything from health related issues, to relationship problems and if you don't get it out into the open. For both of you to deal with. You're heading for the big D.

TALK AND LISTEN PEOPLE. Or be prepared to talk to a lawyer.

I've gotta definitely agree with Bobmi357 on this one. It will only get worse, because sex, you have to admit is a very personal and intimate thing to share with your partner. If one crack develops in that intimacy, other cracks will likely follow, unless both people are content with just subsisting with an unfulfilled life. Not fair to either person. Being in a relationship with someone who has a vastly different sex drive than yours is naturally frustrating, and frustration leads people to satisfy themselves anyway they can. A lot of people satisfy their frustations by coming to Lit and reading stories and interacting with other people, but a lot of people go out there in the real world and get what they need from someone else, and that's when people end up getting hurt. It's hard enough to stay married these days, sitting on these issues only make it that much harder.

 

[Anopheles]

Quote from earlier....

So what's the moral of this rambling diatribe by Usul? Talk to him, maybe he's scared of knocking you up, or scared that you'll knock him up (huh? nevermind) but whatever it is once you get it outta him, you'll get it into you.


Truer words have never been spoken...

The only time that men don't want to poke something is when something is bugging them. They may not even know what's bothering them at the time. We rely on our women to make us understand ourselves. Otherwise, we'd just sit around drinking beer and jerking off all day

 

[luckyseven]

Once a week if I'm lucky.

 

[jupiter lilly]

I'd say an average of 2 or 3 times a week...which isn't quite as much as I would like. I can't complain though.

I agree with the above stated "communication is the key". My first long term boyfriend and I had about the same average...once or twice a month. He was also unwilling to go down on me...which led to some serious issues about my own body. I wish I would have talked to him about it more...but I was young and scared to assert myself in that way. I think looking back on it, several years since we broke up, that there were a lot of underlying issues that lead to it.

It's not always pleasant to talk about relationship issues, but it has to be done.

 

[sinkist2004]

daaamn, I guess I'm lucky to be getting it twice a day

but we make up for it by going to school 300 miles apart, so we only get the sex for a weekend or 2 per month, but it's always a lot.

BTW, we're both 19