sex education right or wrong?

[Jenne64]

This is gonna start a fight, I just know it is but here goes anyway.
My kids school has just begun reviewing it's sex education policies and in their infinite wisdom has decided that parents should have a say in it's format and formation.

I'll tell you what I went to a meeting the other night and nearly died at some of the ignorant remarks some of the parents made at that meeting. I though I was living in a sexually aware/enlightened society but that meeting changed my views on that one.
The big debate here in the Uk is one what age should we begin to teach our children about such sordid acts as sexual intercourse? Should we teach them about homosexuality and if so at what age? Should we teach only the mechanics of sex or deal with the emotional side of it as well?
My personal stance is I want my kids to be well educated in all aspects of life and sex is part of life nowadys. I'd rather have kids that actually understand the term Hommo and use it in it's correct context than ones that just think it's a cool word to use and have no idea what it really means. Love comes in all different shapes and forms, something that they forget to teach in schools, also parents forget as they try to cosset their little darlings from the evil influences that now pervade our multi media society.
I want my kids to learn and be informed by responsible adults not from reading penthouse beneath the bedclothes and the playground myths that abound.
I got sick of hearing at this highly emotive meeting that the school had a responsibilty to teach the kids but then the same parents would say," my Jonny won't be attending as we don't believe in it. God says..." Give me a fucking break here, those kids are gonna go out into the big bad world totally unprepared and when they come home pregnant at 17 or earlier mum will just say it's god will!! Somehow I doubt it.
I'm not saying that people aren't entitiled to their own beleifs etc, I just wish they would give their kids more credit sometimes. Kids nowadays are more informed than I ever was in my day but I don't think things have advanced that far.
The other day a survey showed that half the teenagers that fell pregnant in this country we're on the pill. They just didn't know how to take it properly or forgot. Is that ignorance or what? Put your girl on the pill but back it up with some information should have been the point but instead it was the local GP's fault for not explaining it properly.
Until society takes proper responsibility for the sexual education of our kids and that includes all us parents little will change in my view.
Sorry I got a little carried away here but it really gets up my nose as you may have already guessed.
I'd be interested to know what others on this board think.
regards,
Jenne64

 

[ShyGuy68]

Jenne

I agree with you, I do think that the school should teach the kids about sex, and all aspects of it. But it's important that the theachers are able to do it too, and are able to get through to the kids. I can remember when we had it in school, the kids in my class had a hard time not giggling and all, and the teacher were shy about it too. That way isn't very good either.

I got so tired of it, that I at a young age borrowed several books about it myself at the libarary and that way I learned it.

 

[Rosebud]

Apparently not many parents are taking the role of teaching thier kids about sex...teenage pregnancy is still very high. I think it would be okay to teach it in school as long as the parents who do care had a chance to oversee it and are kept updated. I don't have to worry about my kids...i cared enough to explain it to them, unlike my mother

 

[Xander]

Jenne64. I got to say, that I whole heartedly agree with you.
Kids today, have to have a good solid info about the facts of sex as well as a million other things.
Otherwise it's like give a kid a loaded gun, and tell them to go play. (mommy mommy, look at me, I put this end of the gun in my mouth and pulls this funny thing down there, what will hap.....BOOOM)
I think you got the picture.

But when that is said, I also believe that there's so many parents who simply can't comprehend the fact that their kids are gonna be sexually active.
The dads forget how it was like, at 14, when he got wood if the wind changed.
And mom forgets how many drool cups she had attached under her chin, when looking at Donnie Osmond.

So I firmly believe to acknowledge the situation instead of denying it. And give kids the info they need to get by in the big bad world. About sex, and all the other temptations there is, out there.

And before anyone comes and gives me some religious crap. Don't tell me that. Mommy and Daddy, is NOT gonna say, it was Gods will, when their 15 year old daughter comes home, and says she has been knocked up.
Or their 16 year old jock son, their pride and joy. Is caught banging his best friends 14 year old sister.

So, to those who chose to deny the situation. Give yourselfs a good kick in the ass, and take some fucking responsibility.

 

[teresafannin]

Rosebud, you are so correct. My philosophy is if a child is old enough to ask a question, he is old enough to have an answer. I talked very straight with my son about all areas of life. I am appalled at the lack of knowledge some of these kid have.Many of my son's friends came to me for advice & information. Far too many parents are not taking the responsibility to educate their kids. These days, it isn't just pregnancy to worry about, STD's among young people are on the rise. Parents need to turn off the tv, put away the nintendo & talk to their kids. My son was killed last year & I miss him so much. If more parents would understand how badly these kids want & need attention, we would see some changes in society. It is ultimately the parent's job to raise the child. I chose to have just one child so I could do more for him. He was growing into a responsible young man, who had made some very good decisions about his life, waiting until he felt ready for sex was one of them. Sorry this is so long.

 

[Cheyenne]

I'm not a parent, so my views may carry less weight on this one. BUT, I know people who have had kids when they were just kids themselves. And some of them had the sex ed classes in school, they just didn't listen well enough to the birth control section.

I think our schools have to have the information available to the kids. And they have to start YOUNG. The classic 5th grade movie on becoming a woman now is already too late. Sex ed should be taught continuously, just like Math and Science, every year. By the time kids need birth control in their lives, if they decide that they will be active, they should already know all about birth control and where to go for it. Ignoring the issue won't keep them from getting pregnant. Or from getting a STD. And what about throwing in some discussion about the emotional effects of sex, too? It is okay to tell teens that they should remain virgins until they feel they are ready for the emotions that come with having sex. There doesn't have to be a religious tone to the discussion.


Here's an idea- why not invite the parents to come to class WITH their children for the sex ed sections? Besides the parents maybe learning something themselves, wouldn't it be a great basis for discussion at home later on? Parents could reinforce what the teachers say, and put their own personal spin on anything they may disagree with or want to emphasize more.

As for the parents with the religious objections, I think we have to accomodate them, too. The children still belong to them, and if the parents want to educate them at home about sex rather than have the school do it, it is their right to do so. It may not be the choice that we would make, but we still need to understand the parents' right to make it.

 

[Jenne64]

"Here's an idea- why not invite the parents to come to class WITH their children for the sex ed sections? Besides the parents maybe learning something themselves, wouldn't it be a great basis for discussion at home later on? Parents could reinforce what the teachers say, and put their own personal spin on anything they may disagree with or want to emphasize more. "

Sounds like a good idea in theory but I don't thnk it would work for several reasons.
Most parents aren't comfortable with talking about sex in front of a group of adults let alone in front of their own offspring and peers. That meeting I mentioned being a good examle. Mention the words sex and intercourse and most parents can't cope-)) Throw in the words homosexual and a few will almost faint!
These same parents would probably learn a thing or two but I have a feeling that a lot would disagree with what was being taught and therefore undermine the whole lesson.Then again they maybe so embarressed that they will just sit dumbfounded.

Another answer might be classes where parents are taken through a programme of what the kids will learn in the classes. So when their liitle darlings come home they will be prepared for the questions that are bound to follow. In otehr words educate the parents and they in turn will be able to arm their kids with a positive message, one that will reinforce what they are taught in school.

Another piece of thought to fuel the fire,
regards,
Jenne

 

[Patryn]

I agree with you, Jenne. I'm not a parent, and as of right now, don't plan to be one, but I did have the unfortunate experience of having to explain "the birds and the bees" to my younger cousin when she was 13 and I was but 16.

You see, my aunt is a very devout Christian. My cousin grew up, and still does live, in a very very sheltered household. At 13 I assume she was naturally beginning to have sexual feelings, and had questions about it and other puberty-related issues. She did ask her mother once, I heard her, about "what a man and woman do". My aunt's reply was less than satisfactory, with "you don't need to worry about that for now".

She asked me a few weeks later what it was like to have sex. At that time, I didn't know. I had been with one guy only one time, so I didn't exactly have a good knowledge base of what it was all about, so to speak, but I did my best to explain to her how she'll know she's ready, the consequences and possible outcomes, and what an important decision it is. She asked some things that I didn't know about or know how to explain, so I went to the library and got her a book. My aunt was livid.

I don't know what she thought. Did she genuinely believe that not acknowledging or explaining what happens when you hit puberty, or talking about sexuality would prevent any of it from happening to her little snooky wookums?

As for the God argument, I don't practice a religion or really believe in a supreme being in the sense that he guides us, but IF there is one, he created us and our biology, and with that comes sexuality. As for telling kids about homosexuality, I have several gay friends, and they knew they were gay from a very early age. It happens, whether we like it or not. Not educating our kids, whether it be in school or in the family, is just idiotic.

 

[Cheri]

I agree whole heartedly that education about all things is fundamental in raising smart well-adjusted kids and I am trying to do just that. I do hesitate in what knowledge is given and when. And I must admit that allowing any government (be it the state, federal or even local school board) teach my children all they need to know about sex is a frightening thought. I say that not because I am some kinda of religious zealot but because I am afraid that most programs don't work out the way they were intented to and a child's view of sexuality is too important to be left to chance. So what is the answer, I don't know. I do know that every kid, teen and adult in my life know that they can ask me any question they want. And in most cases I'll even bring up the subject if it's warranted such as when the next door neighbor started dating or when my younger cousins when off to college.

 

[Skitten]

I agree with you that the schools should teach the students about sex education. But it should also involve their parents. They need to get involved with the schools and see what they are teaching their children. And also be helping them to understand what they are being taught in the schools. Also parents need to teach their children as well.

There are too many disease and teenage pregnancies out there now, and I for one am not willing to risk my kids lives because I was shy about talking about it. I feel that you should let them know when you feel they are mature enough to understand and as they get older go into more details. Because you don't want them to be overwhelmed with what you are saying.

The schools mainly go over the anatomy and how it works as parents you have to go over the feelings and what love means and what can happen. Yes the schools go over the diseases and how to protect themselves, but you must reinforce that so they can truly understand where you are coming from. And your feelings about certain points.

 

[FlamingoBlue]

In my opinion, it has nothing to do with right or wrong. Sex education is just plain necessary.

blue

 

[Whispersecret]

I think that teen pregnancy can't really be blamed on lack of education. As a teen, remember how you felt you knew everything? How you felt invincible? It's human nature to take risks like that with sex and with anything else of which their parents might not approve, but that they want to do anyway. And that has nothing to do with whether your parents or the school explained sex to you.

Of course it's necessary that we talk to our children about sex and all it's rewards and ramifications, but the fact is hormones are raging. Sex feels good. Kids are going to do it, whether they have the knowledge or not. They always have and they always will.

 

[dancinvixen]

I have to say that as a mother of two girls, and a child who learned about sex the really old fashioned way (try and see method) that I want my girls to know about sex. I want them to know the mechanics of it, I want them to know about the emotional aspects, and I want them to know about the various kinds of sex (i.e. homosexuality, bisexuality). I will not let my children find out the hard way. It was hard enough for me when I became pregnant at 19. Too many parents think that they are so sexually aware, and yet, they cringe or blush, or even worse, deny that sex is a part of everyone's daily lives. Heck, I've seen nuns with more to say about sex, (who really knew what they were talking about) than some parents. Now that has to be a statement considering these people have taken a vow of chastity for the rest of their lives. I also refuse to believe that getting pregnant, of finding out about someone else's sexuality is the will of God. Sorry, doesn't cut for me, it's a cop out. They just don't want to deal with it. Heck, if and when my daughters hit the age for a sex talk, I plan on giving them one, I also plan on talking to the schools they will be attending to find out about classes. I have absolutely no qualms about talking to anyone about sex. For me it is a natural part of everyone's life, and we need to learn about it earlier that way, we know what to expect, and also, how to prevent it.