Sex and the coach

[TonyG]

Making a long story short...
A friend called last night to explain that one of the high school girls he coaches has been sending him love letters and songs via email for about a month. Then yesterday she sent him some sexual pictures. He has been ignoring her mail but now he thinks it has gone too far. His dilemma is that he wants to confront the girl to tell her to stop but is afraid that she might make up some accusation in retaliation. He has the same fear if he tells her parents. He is thinking of quiting as a way out.

He is 45, she is 17.

Ladies, what do you think are the chances the girl would make up accusations?

Guys, what would you do, (and don't say jump the girl).

 

[Expertise]

Full fucking panic, contact a lawyer, the police and her parents in that order.

Then talk to her.

It would be nice if he could put the girls feelings first and simply have a heart to heart with her. But in todays day, age and climate he really has to protect himself first. Sadly.

 

[Guru]

 

[Sammyjo]

OMG!!!

How fucking scary...

Get a lawyer fast.

 

[CreamyLady]

He does NOT contact the girl or her parents directly. The lawyer is a good idea.

Grown up actions have grown up consequences. It is a sad thing that the girl in question will be learning this the hard way, but your friend has to protect himself.

 

[miles]

Call Kevin Spacey. Been there, done that.

 

[Purple Haze]

What's the deal with lawyers here. If the coach is truly innocent of any wrongdoing, he doesn't need one. He can't outwit a teenage troublemaker? This is a teacher?

On the other hand, if he is guilty of some impropriety, he's already lost this one. A plane ticket is what he needs.

 

[Expertise]

Unfortunately PH, guilty or not, the mere hint of impropriety could cost the guy everything. His job, his family, his life.

Something else they teach you in coaching clinics now. Its not just about X's and O's and first aid anymore.

 

[Sammyjo]

He needs a lawyer to give him advice on where to go from here. She will likely convince someone that it is his fault and he will need one anyway..why not plan ahead?

Do you have any idea what a teenage nutcase on hormones will do? Did you see "The Crush"?

He needs to make sure that anything he does doesn't land his ass in jail.

Now, upon thinking about this...he definitely should contact the school authorities because they can change his e-mail to something else, and have it unlisted...you do NOT need to give your students your e-mail. And I, personally, do not think that a teacher's e-mail should be listed in a public forum so that students can get to it.

Now then...he may very well be innocent of any wrongdoing, but that does not mean that he shouldn't cover his butt, so that little trollop can't get to him.

And...he should not worry about embarrassing this little harlot, he should put her through the wringer...make her regret ever doing it. She should be severely punished...oh...I hope that isn't turning anyone on...LOL

 

[TonyG]

Thanks everyone for your opinions. I also felt he should talk with a lawyer. I'll keep you updated.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Addressing the question what are the chances of this girl manufacturing accusations? Damned high. Teenaged girls are capable of doing the most horrible things to guys they see as "scorning them." He isn't playing to her fantasy, and now he is in the indefensible position of having to prove innocence. That is the bad thing, nowdays teachers are automatically guilty until proven innocent, and after that there is still the question. The "well, he was accused of..." will always linger.

The lawyer, particularly one that specializes in law regarding sexual offenders, teachers, and defamation of character.

 

[#1derfulGuy]

LET'S NOT FORGET SOMEONE ELSE

I agree with notifying the police, his lawyer, the girl and her parents. But in addition and to cover his ass, he should show all the evidence to the principal first so that the school can back him and not claim otherwise.

 

[Patryn]

Something somewhat similar happened at my U a couple of years ago. The ages were a little different, the prof was 35 and student was a non trad of 28. Age wasn't so much a factor in this one, but her actions were inappropriate. She sent him flowers at work, which in itself would be fine. He may not have reciprocated, but the action itself wasn't wrong. Only thing is, she didn't do it once. She did every day for over a week.

The prof confronted her and said that though he found it flattering to be liked, he was married and had no plans of seeing anyone outside of marriage. Guess what the girl did? That's right...told the Dean the prof made advances on her. So it's not just teenagers.

I would tell him to speak to the principal first, showing him the evidence. Hopefully this can be handled inside the school. If that doesn't work, go the lawyer route.

 

[Wizard]

I just caught up with this thread and WOW ........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..............................I think Expertise said it best..........This could be real bad .......................

 

[Cheyenne]

A lawyer? But he has the email records to prove that she is going after him, right? Not to mention pictures sent to him. If she can't produce proof of even one response from him, seems hard to believe he would have a problem talking to the parents to get this straightened out.

At 17, if a 45 year old teacher contacted my mom and dad to show them emails and pics I'd sent, I'd have been mortified.