Sex and submission (not the site)

[Netzach]

Ok, I weirded myself out today.

I find the gulf between sex and scene to have widened exponentially for me the more I play, for a multitude of reasons, one of them just sheer limitations of energy levels. It seems I want to pour myself into play and then the sex is very refreshing and mutualistic, and I tend to take a more passive position of being done to or adored, or the sex is just like that. I'm probably a lot less sexually aggressive and violent than a lot of submissive women I've talked to.

Today I found myself getting very unbridled, biting, twisting things, slapping the face of a partner, and his response was right on target, he read me well, to get even more gentle, sensuous, and attuned to getting me off rather than ramping up his own passionate aggression at all. All very mindblowing.

And somewhat disconcerting. I've always hurt others from a calm and icy position of self control and this wasn't all that. Granted I wasn't going to do anything totally out of bounds, but I found myself thinking about quite out of bounds things and finding my sexual pleasure increasing exponentially.

Interestingly, this is someone I know could rein me in if need be. In a way, the control aspect was being left up to the bottom, which is very ass-backwards from how we're "supposed to be."

 

[catalina_francisco]

Sounds to me like you still had control (otherwise you would not have controlled going all out), but have made that magical step which is freedom to really let the feelings and body respond without overly thinking it through step by step on a logical and in advance ideal or concerning yourself with how it should be done. It is certainly a great step in the journey and one to be unashamedly enjoyed in all its raw beauty. Have fun Netzach.

Catalina

 

[Pure]

getting 'unbridled' sounds fine to me, and non dangerous as you have described it.

further, the 'control' you ascribe to the bottom, is, IMO, not a 'top-ish' thing to be concerned about. i think you are reacting to him, and making adjustments. were he to break down and curl up, quivering, you'd probably modify things a bit. his control is only in the cybernetic sense in which we say, "the road, as it is perceived, 'controls' one's steering."

such control is not incompatible with 'self control' in the driver, i.e., if frustrated by a pedestrian, such a driver does not necessarily run him down.

that said, were it someone other than you, sadistic or 'top' frenzy in them might be more worrisome. some lose touch with the impact of their acts.

 

[RJMasters]

Congratz on getting the chance to let your beast feed first hand. Finding someone whom you can trust and feel free enough to let the beast out is a rare thing.

I imagine being a ProDomme, your beast keeps well feed by meeting the masochistic needs of others. I draw this from what you said here - "I've always hurt others from a calm and icy position of self control"

However when the shift occurs from their need to your need, its the difference between feeding the beast bloody steaks or actually feeling the teeth sink into living flesh.

Weather it was calculated or happened naturaly on his part, his response lead to a level of established dominance. Rather than let his own passion agression become stimulated and shifting the focus back on himself, he yeilded more and more till you were satisfied beyond any doubt that he knew who was top dog here...in keeping with your views of female sexual dominance, I imagine that what ever happened after this point was indeed mindblowing. It allowed you to take a more passive position of being done to or adored without losing any position of dominance.

Just my thoughts and they could be off. Thanks for sharing the experience Netzach.

 

[Marquis]

I wonder how far you would've gone with a more diminutive partner. I've never intercoursed with a woman who could overpower me, and therefore have always had the responsibility of being the last line of defense against the beasts within. Playing both sides of the chessboard can be unfulfilling, to some degree I envy your position, although I'm not sure I'd trade in the responsibility for the knowledge that I could be "reeled in" if necessary.

Also, I ALWAYS ramp up in the face of agression. Sometimes I wish I was with a girl crazy enough to punch me in the face so I could slap her so hard her eyes would fuzz and her ears would ring. For better or for worse, my partners' reactions are similar to what you've described.

 

[RJMasters]

I wonder how far you would've gone with a more diminutive partner. I've never intercoursed with a woman who could overpower me, and therefore have always had the responsibility of being the last line of defense against the beasts within. Playing both sides of the chessboard can be unfulfilling, to some degree I envy your position, although I'm not sure I'd trade in the responsibility for the knowledge that I could be "reeled in" if necessary.

Also, I ALWAYS ramp up in the face of agression. Sometimes I wish I was with a girl crazy enough to punch me in the face so I could slap her so hard her eyes would fuzz and her ears would ring. For better or for worse, my partners' reactions are similar to what you've described.

Good chestboard analogy Marquis.

 

[Xelebes]

One's oak and the other is linen or silk?

 

[Netzach]

I imagine that what ever happened after this point was indeed mindblowing. It allowed you to take a more passive position of being done to or adored without losing any position of dominance.

That's the only part that was off target, that's normally how it plays out. I'm cmofortable enough in my position re: him to be passive ordinarily.

I'm not normally as comfortable in my position to be aggressive and inflict - probably because there is no reason to do so, there is no challenge or threat to me, there is no suggestion that this is required or sought - I just wanted to.

 

[Netzach]

I wonder how far you would've gone with a more diminutive partner.

Dunno, interesting thought.

 

[Netzach]

One's oak and the other is linen or silk?

Rock paper scissors kind of analogy.

 

[MechaBlade]

Ok, I weirded myself out today.

I find the gulf between sex and scene to have widened exponentially for me the more I play, for a multitude of reasons, one of them just sheer limitations of energy levels. It seems I want to pour myself into play and then the sex is very refreshing and mutualistic, and I tend to take a more passive position of being done to or adored, or the sex is just like that. I'm probably a lot less sexually aggressive and violent than a lot of submissive women I've talked to.

Today I found myself getting very unbridled, biting, twisting things, slapping the face of a partner, and his response was right on target, he read me well, to get even more gentle, sensuous, and attuned to getting me off rather than ramping up his own passionate aggression at all. All very mindblowing.

And somewhat disconcerting. I've always hurt others from a calm and icy position of self control and this wasn't all that. Granted I wasn't going to do anything totally out of bounds, but I found myself thinking about quite out of bounds things and finding my sexual pleasure increasing exponentially.

Interestingly, this is someone I know could rein me in if need be. In a way, the control aspect was being left up to the bottom, which is very ass-backwards from how we're "supposed to be."

I long not only to find someone who well let me be unbridled, but for the ability to get unbridled with someone. I'm sure it will happen eventually.

 

[John Doe]

Do you ever read your posts before you submit them?

 

[RJMasters]

That's the only part that was off target, that's normally how it plays out. I'm cmofortable enough in my position re: him to be passive ordinarily.

I'm not normally as comfortable in my position to be aggressive and inflict - probably because there is no reason to do so, there is no challenge or threat to me, there is no suggestion that this is required or sought - I just wanted to.

Understood and thanks

 

[Quint]

...........

 

[Netzach]

See what I mean? I've never spit in anyone's face while doing the nasty.

 

[DollieLlama]

Drools...

See what I mean? I've never spit in anyone's face while doing the nasty.

i love it when Daddy spits on me when He's taking me. Or slaps my face, and calls me His filthy little whore.

The feeling of being made into an object for His pleasure and entertainment is very freeing, yet i am secure in my wallowing with the safety net of His love and adoration. One without the other would be untenable.

Netzach, you've spoken eloquently about the high you experienced in releasing your beast, and for me, on the flip side, that's what this play is all about. The particular triggers of response, what makes the freedom possible and spurs it on, seem not so much a generic formula than the machinations of the individual minds at play.

i cannot conceive of doing as Quint says, and feeding fire back at Daddy in response to His heat. Nor do i believe it would fuel Him. But certainly, i infer it worked for Quint and T, and therein lies the magic. For me, faced with aggression and power, i want to feel free to give in, submit, surrender even more. To offer up myself for whatever He needs and desires. To fight back would mean i feel threatened.

This is how our dynamic works, but, it's only relevant in that it is ours. But to find what works for you, that is the treasure.

 

[Marquis]

I spit in T's face one time. Ramp up enough for you?

I might have to safeword.

 

[riverofshudder]

Though I may be a Dom and I may own my sub there are times when the levels of control blur slightly. Not the overall levels, we are set and know very well in our respective places, but within the scene there are times I can let my sub gain a foothold on me. In fact I may do it on purpose just to enjoy seeing what she does with it or it may happen when she is pleasing me and is being such a good girl and giving me such pleasure that I am incapable of playing god in that short moment. Alot of it depends on how (and what) the sub was trained for and how strong our connection is.

My current sub and I have a very strong and deep connection, stronger than I've had - dare I say - ever with a sub (and maybe even deeper than some vanilla relationships I've had). She is currently being trained but I've let the levels in two of our scenes dip to very new levels for me because of my trust in her and training her to be able to move around in the space of the scene. I wouldn't say it's a case of the sub controlling from the bottom...but we have had a few very intimate and passionate parts of scenes where if anything we were simply "making love" in a very meaningful way. In one of them specifically I was letting my mind wander into very calm areas and getting turned on all the more by it though moments later I was back in full control hurting her. That extreme contrast was very new two me and when we discussed it in the debrief I found she was going into the same place and enjoyed the sharp contrast of two very different moments on opposite ends of the spectrum within seconds of one another. Our last meeting wasn't even a scene in typical sense...we simple spent 4 hours together locked in a very intimate way with power levels at an alltime low. When discussing it after we found that we both enjoyed it for the same reasons though now crave a very dark control scene (which she has coming up for her this week).

My point is this...when you have a sub you trust and have a very deep connection with allowing the control levels to move around can be a wonderful in my experience...it's made all the better the deeper the connection is.

 

[indianPilot]

My point is this...when you have a sub you trust and have a very deep connection with allowing the control levels to move around can be a wonderful in my experience...it's made all the better the deeper the connection is.

I could not agree with you more. Your partner will learn a lot of good things about you because you are dropping your guard so to speak. They will see the trust you are placing in them, and in my experience giving trust often nurtures trust

 

[CharleyH]

Ok, I weirded myself out today.

I find the gulf between sex and scene to have widened exponentially for me the more I play, for a multitude of reasons, one of them just sheer limitations of energy levels. It seems I want to pour myself into play and then the sex is very refreshing and mutualistic, and I tend to take a more passive position of being done to or adored, or the sex is just like that. I'm probably a lot less sexually aggressive and violent than a lot of submissive women I've talked to.

Today I found myself getting very unbridled, biting, twisting things, slapping the face of a partner, and his response was right on target, he read me well, to get even more gentle, sensuous, and attuned to getting me off rather than ramping up his own passionate aggression at all. All very mindblowing.

And somewhat disconcerting. I've always hurt others from a calm and icy position of self control and this wasn't all that. Granted I wasn't going to do anything totally out of bounds, but I found myself thinking about quite out of bounds things and finding my sexual pleasure increasing exponentially.

Interestingly, this is someone I know could rein me in if need be. In a way, the control aspect was being left up to the bottom, which is very ass-backwards from how we're "supposed to be."

Hm, an interesting series of questions. I need to think before answering to you. Admireable, all the same.