Sex, and being physically disabled.

[Pinnochio]

I'll be honest, I look up porn on occasion and read erotic stories, even cyber sometimes. In all my meetings of people and pictures I see I notice many different subjects discussed. One thing I have never seen or heard much about is sex and romance with people that are physically or mentaly disabled. And when i mention to people of chatrooms that I am physically disabled i sense a bit of hesitation, like it is wrong, or taboo. It seems like disabled induviduals dont get the respet they deserve, or maybe their afraind to reveal their feelings about love and sex. Personally, I tell people straight out that I am disabled, I can tell a lot about them by their reaction. I am 24 male with CP and scholiosis of the spine. I know that when I have a relationship of any kind it will be based more on emotions and feelings rather than physical appearance. I guess one day I would like to have sex but it is not as important to m as having someone ho cares about me and has passion. I beleiv I am more of a gentlman because I am disabled and I dont let it hinder how i treat people. I guess i just feel the need to share my feelings with you, if anyone would like to chat with me about this or just get to know me better please feel free to email me at smartinpg@hotmail.com. Thank You

 

[Cipher]

Well i first want to say Welcum to Lit!! I hope u enjoy ur stay!!
U'll find here at lit that everyone is really nice and wether u are physically disabled or not people here don't discriminate, so relax, hang out and have a great time!! I hope to see u around the posts soon!!
~*~Cipher~*~

 

[Lady_Sam]

I'll be honest, I look up porn on occasion and read erotic stories, even cyber sometimes. In all my meetings of people and pictures I see I notice many different subjects discussed. One thing I have never seen or heard much about is sex and romance with people that are physically or mentaly disabled. And when i mention to people of chatrooms that I am physically disabled i sense a bit of hesitation, like it is wrong, or taboo. It seems like disabled induviduals dont get the respet they deserve, or maybe their afraind to reveal their feelings about love and sex. Personally, I tell people straight out that I am disabled, I can tell a lot about them by their reaction. I am 24 male with CP and scholiosis of the spine. I know that when I have a relationship of any kind it will be based more on emotions and feelings rather than physical appearance. I guess one day I would like to have sex but it is not as important to m as having someone ho cares about me and has passion. I beleiv I am more of a gentlman because I am disabled and I dont let it hinder how i treat people. I guess i just feel the need to share my feelings with you, if anyone would like to chat with me about this or just get to know me better please feel free to email me at smartinpg@hotmail.com. Thank You

Welcome hun, as in real life you'll find certain reactions on lit. But chances are you'll find more with the up front honesty than if you were to try to hide it. I wish you luck

 

[knightstalker]

hey bud whats up ..If ever there was a place that will make you feel welcumed this is it ...like Cipher said no discrimination here only kind hearted people ...Welcome aboard do some posting and before you know it you will have met so many wonderful people that it will make your head spin...Just be yourself and have some fun..hope to see you around ..Havea great evening

 

[Lady_Sam]

hey bud whats up ..If ever there was a place that will make you feel welcumed this is it ...like Cipher said no discrimination here only kind hearted people ...Welcome aboard do some posting and before you know it you will have met so many wonderful people that it will make your head spin...Just be yourself and have some fun..hope to see you around ..Havea great evening

*smoochies KnightSTalker*

 

[knightstalker]

*smoochies KnightSTalker*

*smoothes Lady back *..Umm thank you Lady ...See what I mean Pinnochio there are so many wonderful people here starting with Lady -Sam she is wonderful ...Go post in the newbie thread and recieve the best welcum around

 

[hatara]

Welcome to lit Pinnochio! I admire your character and honesty, you sound very interesting and I look forward to hearing a lot more from you on the boards.

http://wrweb.com/rothhaas-images/hugs.gif

 

[MarcSeven7]

Am There, Doing That

I sustained a spinal injury in a boating related accident in 1997. In 1999 I was a passenger in a bad car accident. More damage, years of therapy, physical and otherwise. I am in constant high-level pain taht requires a LOT of medication, some of which have "sexual side effects". My "girlfriend" of TEN YEARS left me because she couldn't handle how injured I was; she never really explained completely. THEREFORE... I haven't made love to a woman since sometime in early 2000. As it turns out, a man walking with the aid of a cane, even an Ex-Model like myself (sorry, a bit of vanity) doesn't seem to be in heavy demand. Sex was somewhat painful, but adaptations can be made. It's just difficult to meet someone who will try it with you when you look like you barely survived armagedon. I don't even know if everything still works! It's a problem for me, I just wondered if anyone else was in this position in life. What to do.......

 

[Cipher]

Sorry to hear about ur back to back accidents..and it really sucks that ur girlfriend of 10 years dissed u like that. The main thing is that ur here to talk about it..know what i'm sayin?? I can't begin to imagine the pain and the struggles ur going thru and have went thru. U need not apologize for ur vanity..however it goes to show that accidents and unfortunate circumstances can happen to the everyday joe or a model.
Welcome to lit btw!! Enjoy ur stay, and i'll see ya around the threads.
Take care,


~*~Cipher~*~

 

[Pinnochio]

Wow, lots of responses to my post, glad to know there is good people out there. Lady-Sam. I love that pic you have under your name. Who painted it? I love mythycal and dreamscape art and that is a great mythycal pic, looks like a faery or something.

 

[DevilBoy79]

Well i first want to say Welcum to Lit!! I hope u enjoy ur stay!!
U'll find here at lit that everyone is really nice and wether u are physically disabled or not people here don't discriminate, so relax, hang out and have a great time!! I hope to see u around the posts soon!!
~*~Cipher~*~

totally agree with the above quote, just be yourself with people and they will like and love you, also nothing is impossible, so who knows what might happen in your life or anybody elses

 

[Ladybird]

Big warm welcome hugs and love to Pinnochio and MarcSeven7. I know you will enjoy this site and the people who use it.

Here in Lit I have made some wonderful friends who now spill over into my real life. I've had the opportunity to talk to people from all over the world and from many different lifestyles. It's broadened my outlook a lot.

Perhaps that's why so many here are so caring... they have open minds. Not just about sexuality, but life in general.

So be yourselves here.. you will be welcomed and loved just as everyone else is. Don't be strangers, the more you post, the more people will know you.

So.. here's ya hugsss, one each.

http://www.ozemail.com.au/~stowie/hugsanimate.gif http://www.ozemail.com.au/~stowie/hugsanimate.gif

 

[prettygrneyes]

hello

and welcome to Lit Pinnochio!
enjoy yourself and have fun...there's alot of nice ppl here at Lit....

 

[ynattirb]

Hey guys!

First of all, let me wish you good luck. The quest for love is hard enough as it is. However, I think that the internet is ideal for people in your situation. Your disability will be much less of an issue, and people will get to know you, without being distracted by it. I've met someone online who has a minor abnormality. It's not a big deal at all, but if I had met him in person first, I'll be honest (probably too honest) , I would have been a little nervous about it. However, now I won't care. He did tell me about it very early in our relationship, but it has not been a focus or an issue because I'm not constantly noticing it and he's not constantly feeling self-concious about it. He's coming to see me in June, and while I can't promise that it won't be an issue, I honestly don't think I'll even notice it. But we have also talked about it a lot. He's explained it all to me, including the ugly side of it so I'll have no surprises. He's also told me how he feels about it - that he's self conscious and there are some things he can't do, etc.

So now let me ask you something. People may be put off by your disability - especially in person, but maybe online too. I think the main reason is not cruelty, but because they are afraid to hurt you, physically but especailly emotionally. So here's my question: how would you like people to treat you? Should they ignore your (probably) obvious disability? Should they ask you about it? Pretend that nothing is unusal? Can they tease you about it? Would you want to talk about it or does that make you uncomfotable? Do you want people to help you out when you are struggling? Or do you want them to not notice that you are having a hard time? And how would you want to be treated in intimate situations? There are many more questions, but you get the idea. Help us understand how to have relationships with you.

I hope I haven't offended anyone by being so cruely honest. That was not my intention at all. I wish both of you (and any others that are out there hiding) the best of luck!!!

Brittany

 

[Pinnochio]

Wow Britany, thats a great tale of luv, i wish u both the best. I have no problem with people asking about me, as long as there not stupid questions, and Ive heard many. I guess friends are fine with my dissaabiliy, but are a little reluctant to be romantic with me. In intimate situations. Id hope she would want to take it a little slower, and some position I may not be able to do, and Id hope she'd understand that.

Feel free to email with any questions at smartinpg@hotmail.com

 

[ShiningEyes]

Here's a BIG WARM WELCOME to Lit!!! You'll meet a lot of great people and have some wonderful conversations!! We all have our differences. They shouldn't slow us down. You'll get no different treatment here!! We pretty much consider ourselves equal with everyone else and love to have fun! Just jump right in! If it hasn't already, Lit will grow on you quickly!

 

[sxychick21]

Those are really good questions Brittany. I know that I would like to know the answers to all of them. How do I know its a stupid question if I know nothing about it? I think that I would be TOO careful in a situation like that. I think lots of communication would be neccesary and lots of understanding on both sides.

 

[zetacon4]

yes, lots of good, open communications...

That is the only way we are going to be able to relate adequately to anyone, handicapped or not. And remember, some of us have hidden handicaps. Inside our brains! So, kind, considerate frank and open talk is what we should do.

I too, would love to know the answers to some of those questions. I have had several friends confined to wheelchairs. And most I just treated normally, and always helped to push or get things for them without them asking.

I would guess that teasing about one's dissability would have to be done very delicately. After all, it is a point that limits to some degree, that person's freedom and pursuit of their life ambitions.
So, will always be a bit of a sore point.

I have a bad back, osteo-arthritis. And know about pain and limiting activity. So I can really feel for those with other limits.
Kudos to both of you for stepping forward and letting us get to know you better....Hope to run into you often here on Lit.
Frank

 

[hatara]

MarcSeven and Pinnochio forgive me I am going to be somewhat blunt. Sorry but I have a habit of doing that.

Gentlemen, the first thing I honestly thought about when you described your particular disabilities was oral sex. Lets face it women love to be eaten! I thought of scenarios with you laying down and her lowering herself to your face. I thought of you on the bottom in a 69. Then I thought of someone giving you head while you where either sitting in a chair or laying down.

Yes I do certainly enjoy vaginal sex where a man is inside me. But if I read what your saying right that is not out of the question. There would certainly be some positions that weren't possible. So what! I mean lets face it, even if only your lips and tongue worked she could still be in heaven.

I hope you both meet a woman that will recognize what strong and caring individuals you are and love you for that. You both deserve the best!

 

[LoveMeHateMe]

Well, Hi y'all.....welcome to Lit!

Can I just say.....you guys are all great. I'm sorry some bad things have happened to y'all....and good things will come. Eventually!! And what a better place to start lookin' for some good thing but on Lit! This place is great.....everyone is very accepting and open and ....very important....honest.

Being in the medical profession....I know as well as you guys that things can happen sexually for someone with a disability. It's all about finding the right person to take the time and care to find what works for both of y'all. Might take a bit of creativity too. I've always been taught that before someone leaves my care we should in some way their sexual abilities and any problems they may experience...it goes with the founding principle of my profession....we treat the whole person. And let's face it....a person's sexuality and sensuality is a big part of their life and can greatly impact their quality of life. Anywho...I always thought it was as equally important to provide that support for the significant others.....because a lot of the times (in my experience) they significant others are the ones with the biggest hangups about a disability.

I don't if any of that makes any sense....or if anyone really gives a care about what I think, but that's the wonder of this whole bulletin board thing...LOL...you can't stop me....you can only ignore me.

.....We are out there guys....don't give up. And take care of yourselves...

 

[Pinnochio]

Wow, Im getting tons of replys, that is so cool. Thank you everyonefor al you great thoughts. I look forard to reading more.

 

[will.oh]

Disability still has the word ability in iit.

I cannot imagine what some people cope with on a moment to moment basis although I have seen penty as a medical worker in a trauma and cancer hospittal. I have Parkinson's Desease which makes me stiff in all the wrong places, Thankfully I am in a long term committed relatioinship and the disablility has caused me to; reach out more sensitively and caringly to try whatever works to please my partner. Almost anythhing which we both agree to enthusiastecally works for us. With committment, curiosity and imagination our sex life is phenomenal. Love is the eruption of joy arising out of commitment, communication and thoughtfulness toward the other. Love takes work just as good sex takes all of the above oncluding a seense of humor. I say welcome to each person including their disabilities.

 

[TeenSub]

Oh will.oh!
How literally touching!
It's an interesting subject for me, I have recently been working on a screenplay involving a relationship between a young woman and an autistic man, I'd love to get feedback
TeenSub

 

[Guest]

From more than 20 year living with a spinal chord injury and now a closed head injury I know that you have something to offer women. My suggestion to you is to look to a mature woman insead of the girls your age. Now that I am 39 ther are plenty of ladies that want a younger man that knows how to go slow and last all night. I think that the same will happen for you.

 

[TIGEREYES]

Been there done that

Know just how you feel spinal injury took close to four years to recover still have some damage but working on that also. Wife of 12 years said i couldn't enhance her life and decided to end marriage. Only advise i can give is don't let the people who are truly disabled ever let you feel like you are less of a person and a bit of advise to the ladies the men that will treat you the best and never leave you are the ones you sometimes over-look were the shy ones. the flashy one will almost always treat you like crap so take a closer look you won't be sorry and most of the ladies i've talked to on lit are great. Dave