Self injurers.

arienette said:
Tell me when? Because I feel so empty right now.

We are our own worst critics, babygirl.

Most look at me and see strong; I see myself as weak much of the time.

The strength I see in you is still there, you're just looking down instead of up. :heart:
 
arienette said:
Tell me when? Because I feel so empty right now.

you are so much stronger than you realize. ive seen it. im here for you. however long this goes on....
 
arienette said:
I never had this courage before. This "fuck it" attitude and I never did have the courage to actually push down and see the blood immediately start spilling in such a delicate area. I guess this means I've fallen off the wagon, huh? I've got a crazy, angry burlap-like wrist, didn't even bother to start a tic tac toe board so Abs won't be happy about that and I still seem to have this "fuck it and everything else and just let me sit here on idle" attitude.

:rolleyes: I'm the weakest person I know.
Abs understands more than you think.

YOU know what you need to do and only YOU can do it.
 
Someone sent me PM last night suggesting a technique that may help me try to discover why I do the things that I do and where I am and where I am going in life...

As she stated, what I see I may not particularly care for...and she was right.

It seems every time I think that I am happy I do something self-destructive and I don't know why. I still don't.

There have been numerous times in my life that I should have been content and satisfied. But for some reason I just can't accept it and seem to sabotage my life.

Some might call it an inability to control impulses and urges....some may call it sheer stupidity....some may call it fear....I just don't know.

There is a part of me that KNOWS what I am doing will only result in disaster, but I can't stop. I don't understand why I just can't say, "This is good, I am happy."

Maybe I am addicted to turmoil and chaos. I just don't know anymore. But I grow tired of the rollercoaster ride that I am on. I'm getting tired of always wondering what's over there that I have not tried.

My friends think I am nothing but fun and games and have often said they are envious of my life and the experiences I have had. What they do not understand is that I am envious of their "normal" and "mundane" lives.

I need stability. I need to accept stability. I need to stop seeking thrills.

I just don't get it, this thing called a happy life. Why is it so easy for some and impossible for me?
 
Yeh itni mushkil kyon hai? mujhe mere apni se darr lagdi. Mujhe maloomb hai ke jab me uss shower mein jaaongi ke ma kuch ghalat karongi.

:(
 
I've decided to talk to the HR dept. at work about the binging, purging/starving myself issue.
 
Something I wrote ages ago - I still go through phases when I sink down again, and I haven't been on the wagon for as long as I'd like, but TheEarl helps me get through, and most of my scars are really faint.

Cry for help
Sometimes she gets so choked up
With hate or despair
Or life
She gets scared it might drown her soul
And she has to let it out
Seep, trickle, pour
Away from her
Released by cold kind steel
But no matter what she does
It still broods inside
And all that changes
Is you can see it on the outside
If you look
People say it’s a cry for help
Well, then her soul must be screaming
But shame and secrecy hushes it
And she continues to drown in silence
 
hang in there, hislady.

by the way, do you think you are depressed?

:rose:
 
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