Self Esteem

[ewopper]

Unfortunately, I know some of my self esteem is linked to how I look. In junior high I had a couple of extra pounds and to hear my fellow students' cruel comments really gave me a hard time believing I was more than my looks. Even today I struggle with that, though in a lesser degree than I did (I used to not go out at all - for classes, work or even buy milk - if I didn't look perfect).

I second Bi as president for a self esteem reinforcing support group

If we're honest, all of us has some insecurities that date back to past events in our lives. I wasn't always confident, sadly the the early years after each of my marriages. I felt so low I had to look up to see my feet. Also it seemed every one that I thought were my friends had nothing but negative things to say... their assumptions.Finally I had to assess what they were saying versus what I knew happened, in almost every case they didn't know what the heck they were talking about. Realizing that I was able to build my self esteem over time ;but I must warn at vulnerable moments I still fall prey to some of their venemous statements but so far I've been able to shake it off and move forward

 

[ewopper]

I had two undergraduate majors--one was math. And while I've forgotten a lot of it, I don't need to know jack about elementary statistics to be able to make fun of a damn picture. God, but that was a fun thread.

Define pretty.

I can define pretty in three letters.... y-o-u

 

[M's girl]

wow do I know how you feel........ I've always been overweight, always will be (genetics). Cruel fellow students, cruel adults, men making you feel like they're doing you a favor by dating you, even cruel family members.
Low self-esteem... heh... most days I think I'm doing pretty good, some days (like tonight), I feel at my lowest.

Bi has my third vote, lol.

Ah... but from what I can see (several AV pics) and read you have a nice and friendly face and you are an intelligent and fun person. People who can't SEE that are only skindeep... you shouldn't even want to be with them.

Beauty is a personal matter of taste. Maybe the wrong expression but you know what I mean. Some people like looking at Van Gogh, others like Monet (or Rubens is a better example in this case, haha). They're both art, they're both beautiful.... hated by one, adored by the other.

I like compliments about how I look, surely... but I like the compliments for who and what I am far better!

Ohja, and Bi has my (is it?) fourth vote!

 

[bisexplicit]

wow do I know how you feel........ I've always been overweight, always will be (genetics). Cruel fellow students, cruel adults, men making you feel like they're doing you a favor by dating you, even cruel family members.
Low self-esteem... heh... most days I think I'm doing pretty good, some days (like tonight), I feel at my lowest.

Bi has my third vote, lol.

Thanks for the vote, hehe.

And I know a thing or two about cruel genetics, I have to work three times as hard to be normal - and anytime I slip up (like last year at school), well, I'm still working to get that weight off.
But, it is hard - especially when you have a mother that tells you things like "People don't like people who are overweight, they're going to look at you differently, and its going to be harder to make friends. They're going to judge you right away."

 

[babydoll2u]

Thanks for the vote, hehe.

And I know a thing or two about cruel genetics, I have to work three times as hard to be normal - and anytime I slip up (like last year at school), well, I'm still working to get that weight off.
But, it is hard - especially when you have a mother that tells you things like "People don't like people who are overweight, they're going to look at you differently, and its going to be harder to make friends. They're going to judge you right away."

or a mother who told you all your life "you'll never amount to anything, so why try? OR "No man's going to love you for you, so you'd better just get used to the idea of living your life alone" ?

I'm not all that worried about my weight... I'll just always be a BBW... and I'm getting to be pretty comfortable with that.
My problem is... I'm afraid to let someone, especially a man, get too close to me, because almost as soon as they do, and get to know me... they leave. So I hold them at arms length out of fear... and they leave anyway, lol... vicious cycle.

 

[boston_bbw]

Surround your self with people who will praise you and lift you up. Do not associate with those who will bring you down.

I agree with this however I am in an interesting situation now. I have a good friend who does constantly compliment me, wants to spend time with me, thinks I am funny etc.. However he never has anything good to say about himself. His nose is too big, he is ugly, then complains nonstop about being miserable with his girlfriend yet won't do a damn thing about it. I have recently backed off in making myself available to him, calling him etc.. do I tell him why? No one can be as miserable 24/7 as he seems and frankly I don't care to be around someone who never has anything good to say, yet at other times he brags about his artistic ability, his car, his band etc... I just don't get it