Self Doubt

[Netzach]

pic:


BWAHAHAHAA!

I mean I know it's someone's style, I just know it's not you.

And congrats.














http://images.fetlife.com/83/83853/ido_20090106193054_510.jpg[/QUOTE]

 

[intothewoods]

I don't know, I kinda liked it. But I bought this pattern for my wedding dress that I absolutely loved, and I eloped the first time so didn't get to make it, so when the time comes that I get marrried again, I'll be damned if I'm not going to get my dream dress!

The castle setting I'll nudge on, but nto the dress

Go for it, girly!

This is why the Dick Cavett interview with Katherine Hepburn still lights my fire. She called it "living like a man" and I suddenly felt like there were others like me again.

Maybe it's just because I'm an only child, but I've neither understood nor always been the most patient with this kind of personality.

Oy, only children as partners. Ahh the memories. *zips lips*

Really?! I've been going through a girl phase as well. A chubby girl phase, as a matter of fact.

PM me with your Yahoo ID or an email I can send them to.

Are you calling me fat?

pic:


BWAHAHAHAA!

I mean I know it's someone's style, I just know it's not you.

And congrats.

Thanks! I have had a few male gender queer friends of mine beg to wear a pink bridesmaid dress! What is it with that drag fantasy?

 

[Netzach]

Oy, only children as partners. Ahh the memories. *zips lips*

Add in martyr mother who called herself Stella Dallas TO ME and you get someone who refuses to reproduce.

 

[Homburg]

Add in martyr mother who called herself Stella Dallas TO ME and you get someone who refuses to reproduce.

Stella Dallas? That's a wee bit dramatic.

 

[satindesire]

Are you calling me fat?

No baby, I have no idea what you look like. You could be Kate Moss for all I know.

Of course, if you are fat, that makes it ten times hotter.

I don't have anything against skinny girls per say, I used to be one you know, but thick girls are my thing these days. Blame the hormones.

 

[Shankara20]

Thanks! I have had a few male gender queer friends of mine beg to wear a pink bridesmaid dress!

hot hot hot HOT

 

[Shankara20]

No baby, I have no idea what you look like. You could be Kate Moss for all I know.

I know what ITW looks like - ohmygoodnesshotindeed.....

 

[intothewoods]

Add in martyr mother who called herself Stella Dallas TO ME and you get someone who refuses to reproduce.

Ha ha ha.

No baby, I have no idea what you look like. You could be Kate Moss for all I know.

Of course, if you are fat, that makes it ten times hotter.

I don't have anything against skinny girls per say, I used to be one you know, but thick girls are my thing these days. Blame the hormones.

I certainly would not call myself skinny! I think I'm legitimately hanging on to "curvy" though. Speaking of which, wow I miss bad carbs. Cake. Mmm. I think after the conclusion of February and a little over 2 months with no bad carbs, I should work back in a weekly cheat. Hmm.

hot hot hot HOT

It's funny how most women dread being a bridesmaid, and it's every gender queer girl's fantasy! Ok, not every, but still.

I know what ITW looks like - ohmygoodnesshotindeed.....

Thank you. I swear I need a little Stuart Smalley moment now and again.

 

[Shankara20]

Thank you. I swear I need a little Stuart Smalley moment now and again.

Stuart Smalley: Right. Well, ITW, those negative thoughts are your critical inner thoughts saying those things to you, and I want you to replace those negative thoughts with something positive - a daily affirmation.


Stuart Smalley: "Because all I have to do is be the best ITW I can be."

ITW (you say out loud right now): "All I have to do is be the best ITW I can be."

Stuart Smalley: "Because I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggonit, people like me!"

ITW (you say out loud right now): "Because I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggonit, people like me!"

Stuart Smalley: Thank you, ITW.




and, ITW, just know that Shank is going to go home tonight, open the file with your photos in it and do things while looking at it that just could be posted to his thread.....

 

[satindesire]

I know what ITW looks like - ohmygoodnesshotindeed.....

Ugh! *jeaaaaalllooooous!*

I certainly would not call myself skinny! I think I'm legitimately hanging on to "curvy" though. Speaking of which, wow I miss bad carbs. Cake. Mmm. I think after the conclusion of February and a little over 2 months with no bad carbs, I should work back in a weekly cheat. Hmm.

It's funny how most women dread being a bridesmaid, and it's every gender queer girl's fantasy! Ok, not every, but still.

I love cake, it's my favorite dessert!

I've never been to a wedding before. I've always wanted to be in a wedding and eat wedding cake. Being a Bridesmaid, to me, I dunno. I think it'd be fun!

 

[Homburg]

Ugh! *jeaaaaalllooooous!*

She posted a shoulder-down shot of herself in a latex dress a while back. Did you not see it?

 

[satindesire]

She posted a shoulder-down shot of herself in a latex dress a while back. Did you not see it?

*shakes head*

 

[Homburg]

*shakes head*

It was rather nice. Made me want to find a handy stickpin

 

[Shankara20]

It was rather nice. Made me want to find a handy stickpin

that photo made me want to do something else, but - different strokes for different whatever.....

 

[intothewoods]

What a nice return to this thread! My ego is all a flutter!

Stuart Smalley: Right. Well, ITW, those negative thoughts are your critical inner thoughts saying those things to you, and I want you to replace those negative thoughts with something positive - a daily affirmation.


Stuart Smalley: "Because all I have to do is be the best ITW I can be."

ITW (you say out loud right now): "All I have to do is be the best ITW I can be."

Stuart Smalley: "Because I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggonit, people like me!"

ITW (you say out loud right now): "Because I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggonit, people like me!"

Stuart Smalley: Thank you, ITW.

Ok, I promise to work on it!


and, ITW, just know that Shank is going to go home tonight, open the file with your photos in it and do things while looking at it that just could be posted to his thread.....[/QUOTE]

Tee hee! Naughty!

It was rather nice. Made me want to find a handy stickpin

Well, danke! Um, I think.

that photo made me want to do something else, but - different strokes for different whatever.....

Ha ha ha.

Ugh! *jeaaaaalllooooous!*

I'll try and dig it up for you.

 

[Shankara20]

Tee hee! Naughty!

now I all shot for the weekend - 3 times will take it out of you, let me tell you...

 

[satindesire]

I'll try and dig it up for you.

Go Team Venture!!

 

[LilyBart]

A friend sent this to me today and I thought it was worth sharing here, since self-doubt is a central theme. I'm posting from my phone so I can't do a real link. Go to ted.com and click on the link for Elizabeth Gilbert's talk. She is the author of Eat, Pray, Love and her talk was really extraordinary.

 

[lingersold]

I'd like to add some thoughts to the gender-related discussion of self-doubt, if I may. First off, I'd like to say that I was also stymied when it came to answering the question and I immediately wondered whether it was related to my masculinity. If there is a difference between gender tendencies, I think it is related to "doubt"'s implication that some wondering is going on. I don't generally wonder if I'm good or bad at something. I tend to think I know either way.

I mean I am the farthest thing from supremely confident....it's just that I tend to know what I know and what I don't know, and that is usually enough for me. I guess I fall under that stereotype of the guy who fixes things (been my career for a long time), and that seems like a good analogy.

I like to boil things down to their simplest components and weigh them against each other. If you tell me something is broken, I look at it and decide whether I can fix it. I'll say, "Do you want me to fix that?" or "I don't think I can fix it." Once I get past that binary choice, the obsession is over for me. I'm perfectly happy with the knowledge that sometimes I'm wrong, that sometimes maybe I could have fixed it and didn't try--or (rarely) I thought I could fix it and ended up making it worse. In the end, there doesn't seem to be much purpose in beating myself up for being wrong. I came to the problem in good faith, gave it a best effort and then moved on.

Whenever I've suggested this kind of reasoning to my female friends and family, it doesn't seem like a satisfying solution to them. Maybe that's overstated--I would say they tend to like the reasoning; it's just that there is more to it for them. I'm sitting there thinking, "Great! Glad that was so easy to solve," but then we're still talking about it. Like it's not good enough to know that you made the best choice, and now we need to work on getting you to feel that you made the best choice as well. For me, the two are one in the same. Is this at all close to the mark, girls and/or others who feel more self-doubt?

Maybe in some cases, more self-doubt could be a good thing for me. Maybe I'd put more thought in to trying all those things I've decided I probably can't do. I do tend to look back at my mistakes and learn from them, but if there's one thing in life I can say I've done wrong, it's not making enough mistakes.

 

[lingersold]

I'm such a hypocrite!

I can't believe I missed the big one: physical appearance. Without getting incredibly narcissistic, I'll just admit that I am never sure how good-looking I am, or how much it even matters. I try very hard not to think about it because I can honestly say it spins my head around--and not much does. Sometimes I look in a mirror and see someone I'd think I'd be proud to be with if I were a woman, other times I just see a freak with a big giant head who never smiles.

 

[Homburg]

I can't think of anyone that is perfectly satisfied with their appearance.

 

[the captians wench]

I can't think of anyone that is perfectly satisfied with their appearance.

not 100% of the time anyway, but some days I wake up, look in the mirror and go "damn, he's right, I am fucking hot"

I tend to be at one extreme or the other though. Either over confident, or none at all.

 

[lingersold]

I can't think of anyone that is perfectly satisfied with their appearance.

It's not a question of dissatisfaction, but an inability to put the question to rest as I seem able to do with just about any other topic. I just thought it was an incredibly odd thing for me to be obsessing about, considering how little relevance the answer (if there is one) would have on my life.

 

[ultramarineblue]

I'm in a perpetual state of self-doubt so I decided to camp out here for a while.