Right up front, our relationship is not strictly d/s. I didn’t mean to be cryptic. She is the one to be restrained if we try this.Maybe you could be a little bit less cryptic? Gender of the person that will be tied does matter
As well the goals that the two of you are trying to achieve. What is the sub looking for in terms of emotional/physical results? What is the Dom's goal in this?
I have always been a bit of a dom, even before I knew what the term meant. I guess by some people’s standards, I would be considered dom lite. I love orgasm control, spanking, punishment/reward, light bondage. Never real pain, humiliation, or forced anything. She doesn’t call me Sir, Master, or Daddy. I do call her Pet or Babygirl at play time.
She has a submissive side that she has never felt safe exploring. The wannabe doms she has encountered thought it was all about using her for their own gratification. No regard for her and no after care. That is abuse in my book. She is my Little because she chooses to be and she knows that taking care of her is my highest responsibility. The self-bondage idea came about because we are so far away. She wants to present herself to me in a way that completely shows vulnerability and trust.
I hope that answers your concerns. We appreciate your response.
Such great and well thought out advice. Thank you! Safety is our main concern, and you had some great tips. Choking/breath play are hard limits for both of us, so no worries there. The carabiner idea is perfect. We will definitely try that. One thing that caught my eye is you said you did it “for” him. We talked about that, and she assured me that she isn’t interested in this for me, it’s something we will share together. Would it be okay for her to pm you with any questions or concerns?I used to do this semi-regularly for my ex.
First things first--be very fucking careful. Nothing around the neck that can tighten on its own. A collar is fine because once it's buckled, it's not going anywhere, but no rope or anything like that.
I'm not good at tying knots, so I'm a big fan of buckling leather (or nylon or latex or whatever) cuffs, both for wrists and ankles. You can snap them together with a carabiner, and boom, bondage. Carabiners are also good for attaching ropes. If you tie a knot, you might get into a position where you have to cut yourself loose. If you use carabiners at the end of a rope to attach to rings on cuffs, then it's easy to just pop it open to get out. They're also cheap and come in pretty colors.
No suspension by yourself, please. That's a good way to get badly hurt.
Always leave yourself a quick escape route. What if the house catches on fire while you're tied up? You don't wanna have to go through a lot to get loose.
That's all I can think of for just general stuff off the top of my head. If you have any specific questions, or if I think of anything else, I'll come back and add more.
Sorry for the Homeresque post, and thanks again for taking the time to respond.
Noted. I wasn’t at all judging anyone else’s relationship. I just wanted to make sure my Little One was looking forward to this as much as I am. She is. Thanks, as always, for sharing your time and knowledge.
Eek! That’s scary. Did you pick up any safety tips from those experiences, if I may ask?
It doesn't hurt to have a backup plan. But, it takes some of the excitement away.
That is just all kinds of hot!
