Seeking Out Specific Races...

[bg23]

...to date.

I just came across an ad for a hookup - chick was looking for some kind of dom or whatnot. What interested me was that she repeated, several times, that she wanted a black man only - she was looking for a big black cock. This didn't particularly surprise me - lots of people post ads looking for specific stereotypes...submissive asian women, etc. But it got me thinking.

In person - I've been on dates where guys have told me, as if they're sharing a privileged secret I should be flattered to hear - that they've been looking specifically for an Asian girl.

How does this make you feel, either as one of the excluded or targeted races?

Personally, it makes me feel like a piece of meat. It makes me feel fetishized, like I am being seen only for the color of my skin and nothing else.

Let me clarify that I don't have a problem with people who are attracted only to a certain race, or type, etc. You can't manufacture an attraction that isn't there, and you can't help who you are or aren't attracted to. But I think that's something that people find only coincides with dating only a certain race or to the exclusion of a certain race. For example, as a rule, I'm not typically attracted to asian men - I've never dated an asian guy, because I've never been attracted to one. But to me, to pre-emptively exclude them before I've even met the guy to me, indicates if not racism then certainly some level of prejudice.

I'm mixing up two separate issues to some extent - both the definitive exclusion and targeting based on race is something I find distasteful. Has anyone else come across this? What have you thought about it, when encountering it either as an observer or party?

 

[WeedSmoke420]

good luck

 

[lovetoread]

I've heard the line about Asian women a time or two.

It doesn't bother me much. Unless its all they want. You know what I mean?

I also am not overly attracted to Asian men.

 

[Laurel]

If someone's looking for a specific physical attribute in a just-for-sex partner - big feet, long legs, broad shoulders, hair color, breast size, a specific ethnicity - I don't think that's bad necessarily because hookups are shallow, surface encounters. Sex in and of itself isn't a deep thing. It can be, but it doesn't have to be. That said, choosing a husband/soulmate/whatever based on a specific physical attribute is kinda lame IMO. But whatever floats one's boat...

 

[Disgustipated]

Race? Like NASCAR?

I've dated Hispanic girls and a white girl with really bad eczema.

 

[unregistered]

 

[bg23]

I've heard the line about Asian women a time or two.

It doesn't bother me much. Unless its all they want. You know what I mean?

I also am not overly attracted to Asian men.

That's true. I dislike it because it makes me feel like that's the only reason I caught their interest, and typically someone who is dumb enough to say that really is only interested in me for my skin color. So it might be a case of my only having encountered it from dumbasses so far that raises my ire so much.

I wonder what it is about Asian dudes that we tend to be so adverse to.

 

[bg23]

If someone's looking for a specific physical attribute in a just-for-sex partner - big feet, long legs, broad shoulders, hair color, breast size, a specific ethnicity - I don't think that's bad necessarily because hookups are shallow, surface encounters. Sex in and of itself isn't a deep thing. It can be, but it doesn't have to be. That said, choosing a husband/soulmate/whatever based on a specific physical attribute is kinda lame IMO. But whatever floats one's boat...

Yes, in retrospect hookups pretty much treat you like a piece of meat regardless, so the additional "big black cock" piece of meat part of it is just par for the course.

 

[rosco rathbone]

The problem is that attraction is as much mental-conceptual as anything. It might be douchey that I read a lot of anime in my mom's basement where I reside and as a consequence I'm totally into "submissive asian chicks", quotes included, ie a concept rather than a person but that's the level we men operate on. We are perfectly capable of getting off while fucking a concept.

 

[bg23]

Race? Like NASCAR?

I've dated Hispanic girls and a white girl with really bad eczema.

Did you seek out the white girl specifically for her really bad eczema?

Cos that's fetishizing, man.

 

[Disgustipated]

Did you seek out the white girl specifically for her really bad eczema?

Cos that's fetishizing, man.

No. But it was a strange thing. I had read her poetry years before we hooked up by chance then ran into her at a restaurant with my ex wife.

So... maybe?

 

[bg23]

The problem is that attraction is as much mental-conceptual as anything. It might be douchey that I read a lot of anime in my mom's basement where I reside and as a consequence I'm totally into "submissive asian chicks", quotes included, ie a concept rather than a person but that's the level we men operate on. We are perfectly capable of getting off while fucking a concept.

Terrible. Just terrible. You should be ashamed, etc.





In seriousness, I think my objection is less towards having a particular attraction towards a concept as it is towards...I guess, broadcasting them. I'm not sure how to explain it - it's sort of like, when a guy tells me, "Oh man I've been looking for a submissive asian chick" all of a sudden I'm reduced to nothing more than that concept. It's like I'm OK with it in theory, while it's in your head, as long as I don't know about it. That probably doesn't make sense.

 

[kotori]

Terrible. Just terrible. You should be ashamed, etc.





In seriousness, I think my objection is less towards having a particular attraction towards a concept as it is towards...I guess, broadcasting them. I'm not sure how to explain it - it's sort of like, when a guy tells me, "Oh man I've been looking for a submissive asian chick" all of a sudden I'm reduced to nothing more than that concept. It's like I'm OK with it in theory, while it's in your head, as long as I don't know about it. That probably doesn't make sense.

It does make sense. Whatever physical attribute there might be that causes any two people to be attracted to each other, when that attraction leads to a date (or even just a hook up) we all want to be treated as an individual, not a sum of our attributes.

 

[richard_daily]

I think this sort of thing is steeped in racism.

Granted, it's more of a "taboo" racism than an over or malicious type, but anyone who places preference on skin color is ultimately engaging in a racist practice. I'm not saying that inherently makes someone a horrible person, but it certainly doesn't help their case.

The act itself has varying degrees of grossness.

I had a post some time ago on here about people who only wanted to date within their race, and of course, the usual suspects who clearly have racist tendencies were all defending the practice.

Racial preference is racism. That's pretty much the definition of racism. You can duck and dodge and weave anyway that you want on the subject, but the definition is still the definition.

I think that the whole BBC thing is kind of hilarious, but the whole notion is that most of these women want to "be savaged" and they see someone who's black as a savage, on the most basic level.

I don't think that's always the case, and there are certainly exceptions to that, but when someone searches that out over and over, it makes you realize that they have very specific motivations.

...to date.

I just came across an ad for a hookup - chick was looking for some kind of dom or whatnot. What interested me was that she repeated, several times, that she wanted a black man only - she was looking for a big black cock. This didn't particularly surprise me - lots of people post ads looking for specific stereotypes...submissive asian women, etc. But it got me thinking.

In person - I've been on dates where guys have told me, as if they're sharing a privileged secret I should be flattered to hear - that they've been looking specifically for an Asian girl.

How does this make you feel, either as one of the excluded or targeted races?

Personally, it makes me feel like a piece of meat. It makes me feel fetishized, like I am being seen only for the color of my skin and nothing else.

Let me clarify that I don't have a problem with people who are attracted only to a certain race, or type, etc. You can't manufacture an attraction that isn't there, and you can't help who you are or aren't attracted to. But I think that's something that people find only coincides with dating only a certain race or to the exclusion of a certain race. For example, as a rule, I'm not typically attracted to asian men - I've never dated an asian guy, because I've never been attracted to one. But to me, to pre-emptively exclude them before I've even met the guy to me, indicates if not racism then certainly some level of prejudice.

I'm mixing up two separate issues to some extent - both the definitive exclusion and targeting based on race is something I find distasteful. Has anyone else come across this? What have you thought about it, when encountering it either as an observer or party?

 

[rosco rathbone]

Terrible. Just terrible. You should be ashamed, etc.





In seriousness, I think my objection is less towards having a particular attraction towards a concept as it is towards...I guess, broadcasting them. I'm not sure how to explain it - it's sort of like, when a guy tells me, "Oh man I've been looking for a submissive asian chick" all of a sudden I'm reduced to nothing more than that concept. It's like I'm OK with it in theory, while it's in your head, as long as I don't know about it. That probably doesn't make sense.

I think part of it is that advertising your specifications verbally is now how things are done, with the internet having taken over dating. Internet dating used to be geeks only, then it became something normals did shame-facedly, and now it's just the way everyone meets people of the opposite sex. Even "pickup artists" offer seminars on "text game" or "OKCupid game" or whatever.

So where once a person might have just had a preference and would always been seen with the same type of person, now it's explicitly spelled out, because it has to be, in a dating/hookup profile. This then has a circular effect back to the consciousness of the person who is conceptualizing their attractions. Some women have always liked African-American men with a lot of penile longitude, but now it's a "thing", denoted "BBC" "I'm into BBC", person says to themselves or "BDSM" or whatever.

 

[Sean]

There are submissive Asian chicks? I'm obviously surfing the wrong websites.

 

[neci]

as a blonde with big tits and a big ass, i find stereotypes of my kind rather demeaning.

 

[lovetoread]

There are submissive Asian chicks? I'm obviously surfing the wrong websites.

 

[Killswitch]

I think this sort of thing is steeped in racism.

Granted, it's more of a "taboo" racism than an over or malicious type, but anyone who places preference on skin color is ultimately engaging in a racist practice. I'm not saying that inherently makes someone a horrible person, but it certainly doesn't help their case.

The act itself has varying degrees of grossness.

I had a post some time ago on here about people who only wanted to date within their race, and of course, the usual suspects who clearly have racist tendencies were all defending the practice.

Racial preference is racism. That's pretty much the definition of racism. You can duck and dodge and weave anyway that you want on the subject, but the definition is still the definition.

I think that the whole BBC thing is kind of hilarious, but the whole notion is that most of these women want to "be savaged" and they see someone who's black as a savage, on the most basic level.

I don't think that's always the case, and there are certainly exceptions to that, but when someone searches that out over and over, it makes you realize that they have very specific motivations.

Honestly dude. I have never heard a bigger load of bullshit in a long time.

You get here from some guy wants some asian vag?

 

[richard_daily]

Honestly dude. I have never heard a bigger load of bullshit in a long time.

Maybe, but you fuck your dog.

 

[Killswitch]

Maybe, but you fuck your dog.

oh...good come back, Potsie.

Seriously....I just don't see how you can come to the conclusion that it's some racist deal when a guy or gal prefers some strange from a particular brand or look or what have you.

Or a long term relationship for that matter.

Whats racist about that?

 

[Laurel]

"I find black men to be very attractive."
versus
"I'm really into BBC."

or

"Asian women are very sexy and appealing."
versus
"It's hot that Asian girls are so cute and submissive."

or

"I'm always fall for busty blondes."
versus
"Big-breasted blonde chicks are nasty in the sack."

Very different statements.

Or are they?

 

[rosco rathbone]

"I find black men to be very attractive."
versus
"I'm really into BBC."

or

"Asian women are very sexy and appealing."
versus
"It's hot that Asian girls are so cute and submissive."

or

"I'm always fall for busty blondes."
versus
"Big-breasted blonde chicks are nasty in the sack."

Very different statements.

Or are they?

Grey areas abound. You could speculate all day about whether the guy who makes acceptable statement A "asian women are cute and appealing" really "means" unacceptable crypto-racist statement B "it's hot that asian girls are cute and submissive".

In the end, it's probably better to observe the overall behaviour of a person and judge them by their actions. Dodginess will out.

 

[Laurel]

Grey areas abound. You could speculate all day about whether the guy who makes acceptable statement A "asian women are cute and appealing" really "means" unacceptable crypto-racist statement B "it's hot that asian girls are cute and submissive".

In the end, it's probably better to observe the overall behaviour of a person and judge them by their actions. Dodginess will out.

Agreed. Like most things people say or do, context is everything.

 

[Killswitch]

You guys are confusing racism with respect.

Or something...