Seeking BBW
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I don't smoke,but thought a few of you could sympathise with this lady 
Diary of a Quitting Smoker
Day 1: Shit.
Day 1 again, only the next day: Have tried to kill husband twice. Decide
against washing dishes as always have cigarette when done. Same for
cleaning the bathroom. Am suddenly thinking this has an upside. Eating
dried fruit, apricots, pears, and brown things that look like squished
roaches, which remind me of doobie roaches, which remind me of
cigarettes.
Watch husband light a cigarette; look at him pitifully.
Eat leftover beans from last night and entire head raw broccoli --
that'll show him. Asshole.
Walk by computer occasionally and wave. Can't sit and write or surf, as
this has been main smoking area. It's about four o' clock now. I could
have just one. I could have just one. I could have just one. Mr.
Nicotine. He lives with me. 'He' could be a 'she', but frankly, right
now, I don't give a shit. Decide to play fantasy game on Playstation.
Sp end next three hours breeding Chocobos so game hero can save world.
World fucking doomed in my opinion.
Day 2, morning: Woke up two hours earlier than usual. Great; two extra
hours of fencing practice with the RJ Reynolds Company and their demon
spawn. Seriously considering finding some hallucinogens, as never had
desire for nicotine during a really good walk through a brick wall.
Woke up six times during night to pee because I drank four gallons of
water "to assist my system flush poison." Am feeling unusually testy as
result of lack of sleep and deep-seated oral fixation fantasies. Decide
to either kill or have sex with mail carrier when post arrives. Probably
both. Who knows in which order.
Day 2, afternoon: See husband off to airport for business trip. Asshole.
Clean closets.
Nothing new in mail. Did all laundry out of necessity -- body of dead
mail carrier would not fit in dryer otherwise. Put in extra dryer< BR>sheets (biodegradable). Decide to take walk. Meet neighbor who asks if
mail came yet. She is smoking a cigarette. I tell her no out of sheer
spite.
Day 3, morning: Go through dead man's mail bag; keep catalogs for joyous
Christmas shopping. Feed rest down garbage disposal. Day 3, Afternoon:
Call garbage disposal repair. Day 4: Receive visitor. Police looking
for missing mail carrier. Seems they received a tip from the garbage
disposal repair person. Make coffee and offer fat-free cookies and dried
fruit. Arrange dried fruit to make smiley faces on plate. Police
officer asks if I mind if he smokes. Burst in to tears. Confess.
Day 472: Sentenced to death in murder of Postal Employee. (Federal
crime.)
Day 478: Beaten by seven large women in prison for having
no cigarettes to trade. Able to sing better now; make up prison blues
songs.
Day 552: Receive divorce papers: husband marrying tobacco heiress.
Cellmate off ers to have ex-husband whacked. Wants twelve cartons of
cigarettes and one pair Doc Marten boots. Decide husband will live
today, as price too steep.
Day 558: Secure two cartons of cigarettes for payment to cellmate to
have defense attorney whacked. Feel better.
Day 691: Served last meal. Minister asks if anything wanted
at last moments. Think back to how good cigarette after meals used to
be. Request one last smoke. Minister reluctant; no smoking in federal
building, but sneaks one in. Sit back, relax, smoke.
Ahhhhh. Feel slightly dizzy, giddy, euphoric. Warden enters cell
excitedly; Governor issues full pardon due to new Federal "It Takes a
Village" crimes statute: allows for defense appeal of insanity by reason
of severe nicotine withdrawal.
Diary of a Quitting Smoker
Day 1: Shit.
Day 1 again, only the next day: Have tried to kill husband twice. Decide
against washing dishes as always have cigarette when done. Same for
cleaning the bathroom. Am suddenly thinking this has an upside. Eating
dried fruit, apricots, pears, and brown things that look like squished
roaches, which remind me of doobie roaches, which remind me of
cigarettes.
Watch husband light a cigarette; look at him pitifully.
Eat leftover beans from last night and entire head raw broccoli --
that'll show him. Asshole.
Walk by computer occasionally and wave. Can't sit and write or surf, as
this has been main smoking area. It's about four o' clock now. I could
have just one. I could have just one. I could have just one. Mr.
Nicotine. He lives with me. 'He' could be a 'she', but frankly, right
now, I don't give a shit. Decide to play fantasy game on Playstation.
Sp end next three hours breeding Chocobos so game hero can save world.
World fucking doomed in my opinion.
Day 2, morning: Woke up two hours earlier than usual. Great; two extra
hours of fencing practice with the RJ Reynolds Company and their demon
spawn. Seriously considering finding some hallucinogens, as never had
desire for nicotine during a really good walk through a brick wall.
Woke up six times during night to pee because I drank four gallons of
water "to assist my system flush poison." Am feeling unusually testy as
result of lack of sleep and deep-seated oral fixation fantasies. Decide
to either kill or have sex with mail carrier when post arrives. Probably
both. Who knows in which order.
Day 2, afternoon: See husband off to airport for business trip. Asshole.
Clean closets.
Nothing new in mail. Did all laundry out of necessity -- body of dead
mail carrier would not fit in dryer otherwise. Put in extra dryer< BR>sheets (biodegradable). Decide to take walk. Meet neighbor who asks if
mail came yet. She is smoking a cigarette. I tell her no out of sheer
spite.
Day 3, morning: Go through dead man's mail bag; keep catalogs for joyous
Christmas shopping. Feed rest down garbage disposal. Day 3, Afternoon:
Call garbage disposal repair. Day 4: Receive visitor. Police looking
for missing mail carrier. Seems they received a tip from the garbage
disposal repair person. Make coffee and offer fat-free cookies and dried
fruit. Arrange dried fruit to make smiley faces on plate. Police
officer asks if I mind if he smokes. Burst in to tears. Confess.
Day 472: Sentenced to death in murder of Postal Employee. (Federal
crime.)
Day 478: Beaten by seven large women in prison for having
no cigarettes to trade. Able to sing better now; make up prison blues
songs.
Day 552: Receive divorce papers: husband marrying tobacco heiress.
Cellmate off ers to have ex-husband whacked. Wants twelve cartons of
cigarettes and one pair Doc Marten boots. Decide husband will live
today, as price too steep.
Day 558: Secure two cartons of cigarettes for payment to cellmate to
have defense attorney whacked. Feel better.
Day 691: Served last meal. Minister asks if anything wanted
at last moments. Think back to how good cigarette after meals used to
be. Request one last smoke. Minister reluctant; no smoking in federal
building, but sneaks one in. Sit back, relax, smoke.
Ahhhhh. Feel slightly dizzy, giddy, euphoric. Warden enters cell
excitedly; Governor issues full pardon due to new Federal "It Takes a
Village" crimes statute: allows for defense appeal of insanity by reason
of severe nicotine withdrawal.
Spicy Southern Belle
A Touch of Spice
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- Aug 5, 2004
- Posts
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Good Afternoon everyone!
Bama I loved that Diary of a Quitting Smoker. It was hilarious.
Thanks for sharing.
Bama I loved that Diary of a Quitting Smoker. It was hilarious.
Thanks for sharing.
Spicy Southern Belle
A Touch of Spice
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Re: hello all this is the first thread I am subscribing too as I am new here
Hey sexy! Glad you could join us. Hope you like it here.
Drowwolf said:
Hey sexy! Glad you could join us. Hope you like it here.
Spicy Southern Belle
A Touch of Spice
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Evening Harshaw. How's your evening going?
Spicy Southern Belle
A Touch of Spice
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My day was really nice also. Thanks.
marriedlooking
Experienced
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Good morning all you sexy ladies.... from sunny California
Spicy Southern Belle
A Touch of Spice
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Good morning everyone, or afternoon depending on where you are. I hope you are all having a wonderful day.
Bama, I look forward to reading some more of those jokes. Always can use a good laugh.
Bama, I look forward to reading some more of those jokes. Always can use a good laugh.
spankableBelle
His unruly kitten
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- Posts
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Simply peeking in to say Hi!
Belle
Belle
Spicy Southern Belle
A Touch of Spice
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Hello Belle. Hope you are having a good day.
spankableBelle
His unruly kitten
- Joined
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Spicy Southern Belle said:
Yes, I am having a peachy day. I hope that you are as well...smiles
olivia drake
~Poisoned Tea Maker~
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2003
- Posts
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Hello all! 
Spicy Southern Belle
A Touch of Spice
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Thanks Belle. It's been a deccent day.
Hi Olivia. Nice to see you around.
Harshaw I'm sorry I didn't see your post sooner. I don't think I've ever actually sat down and watched that show. Is it really any good?
Hi Olivia. Nice to see you around.
Harshaw I'm sorry I didn't see your post sooner. I don't think I've ever actually sat down and watched that show. Is it really any good?
olivia drake
~Poisoned Tea Maker~
- Joined
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Hey Belle!Spicy Southern Belle said:
olivia drake
~Poisoned Tea Maker~
- Joined
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- Posts
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Hahaha! Oh stop!!mrgeleven said:
Spicy Southern Belle
A Touch of Spice
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How are you doing tonight Olivia?
sxy_bi_horny_chick
*giggle* :)
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Sup everyone! Hope all is well.
's
's
