Second Story

[havsumfun1]

Hey, my second story has been approved! Thanks for any feedback you can provide and if you have anything you'd like me to read please post the link. Thank you!

http://www.literotica.com/s/nympho-club-slut

 

[JulieBlueBelle]

Read your second. Loved the plot. You have a great talent for telling stories. However, I could tell that commas are not really your strong suit in writing. If you're not sure whether a comma goes, see if there is another way you can word the sentence. Maybe break it up into parts or rearrange it.

There were some places early in your story where the flow was interrupted because I was figuring out what you were trying to say. Just constructive criticism, please understand. I majored in English, so things like that glare to me. Other than that, once again- great story!

As promised, my second chapter is finally approved. Link follows.

http://www.literotica.com/s/the-wanderer-ch-02

 

[havsumfun1]

Thanks Julie! You are right in your criticisms, I read it over once it was posted and saw some errors that made me cringe. I should have spent another day proofreading before submitting, but now I know for the next story. For some reason I tend to favor long descriptive sentences and your advice to chop them up is spot on, thank you!

I really like your story, all the characters are a turn on. Love the idea of a pleasure planet! I especially like how you keep things simple and straightforward, please let me know when Chapter 3 is ready!

I'm wondering if you know anything about how many views a story gets. Nympho Club Slut is up over 10,000 views in less than 3 days, is that normal?

 

[JulieBlueBelle]

I'm not sure actually. I'm fairly new here myself. If you ask me, though, it sounds pretty good.

 

[havsumfun1]

Yeah, I just wasn't sure!