Second Person

[cahab]

Pardon me for cracking what may be a very old chestnut, but despite all the comments, has anyone ever read a good story written in second person?

Can you imagine one, or is the style too inherently annoying?

I ask because the novel I am writing has a very short (about 300 words) second-person prologue, written that way as a dream sequence because it is so unusual. But is it just going to annoy, no matter how well I write it? Is everyone prejudiced beyond redemption?

 

[MathGirl]

Is everyone prejudiced beyond redemption?

I don't think it's prejudice. It's just that second person is so difficult to do well. It's really easy to be terrible in second person. In other words, you're taking a big chance. Is it necessary?
MG

Ps. I think I remember reading something of John Steinbeck's written in the second person. It was wonderful. But then he was John Steinbeck.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

cahab,

As MG indicated, 2nd person is so hard to do well, few writers can pull it off. And there is a chance some readers will notice your preamble is in 2nd person and hit the back button.

But this is a perfect place to take chances. Write your story in the way you feel is most effective. Don't sweat votes or approval.

Now for your question.

--

has anyone ever read a good story written in second person?

PROBABLY, BUT I'M NOT ONE OF THEM

--

Can you imagine one?

NO

--

is the style too inherently annoying?

IT MAY BE FOR SOME/MANY/MOST READERS

--

Good luck.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[Guest]

I, __, she

I had to wait until at least a couple smart people posted so that I wouldn't sound dopey.

2nd person is so beyond me I can hardly keep the concept of it in my mind. I've been reading for over 50 years and I can't think of a good example, but compared to what I've read what I haven't read is like comparing a galaxy to the universe.

But I would be very interested in what you've done, Cahab.

your fan, Perdita

 

[Croctden]

Seconded

I've written a few very short pieces in the second person. They were of varying quality. I didn't find overly hard to write that way, anymore than writing anything else truly great. I can't do it in any perspective.

 

[Guest]

Croc:

Why do you have a big blue square for an AV? Did you get censored?

Perdita

 

[Quasimodem]

The main problem with storytelling in the second person is finding a story which truly requires that structure.

In second person point of view, you are either inside the story, issuing orders to the character with whom your reader is supposed to identify . . .

Or else, you are in the unusual position of describing the situation, emotions, and reactions, of the focal character to that very same character.

Unless you have a plot which requires that point of view, your story will begin to feel stilted.

Finally, even if your plot requires the structure, you had better have a good hook that gets off the mark quickly, or else -- as Rumple has mentioned already -- the reader may identify the second person point of view, and exit.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Not to sound arrogant, but I wrote a good second person story. It can be done. Don't think that you can do it just because you want to. Don't think you can't do it just because most Lit writers royally suck at it. It all depends on your talent and your intended audience.

 

[peachykeen]

One of my stories here ("Your New Toys") is written in second person, and I have recieved some very complimentary comments from other authors here who have told me that it was done well.

When I started writing it, it frankly never consciously occurred to me that I was even writing it in this potentially awkward style - I was just, you know, writing, and it wasone of those stories that just sort of seemed to tumble out of me and onto the screen. I didn't even notice particularly that it was in second person until I got a very nice note form another author cangratulating me for pulling it off successfully.

So, it can be done. However I don't know that if I had been mindful of what I was doing the results would have been the same, perhaps I would have been too self conscious if I'd thought about it. Hmm.

 

[Couture]

I read a good Tom Robbins book recently. It was in second person.

As for me, I still get very positive feedback regarding Slave to Her Mistress. On the down side, I didn't get many views.

 

[Chicklet]

Not to sound arrogant, but I wrote a good second person story. It can be done. Don't think that you can do it just because you want to. Don't think you can't do it just because most Lit writers royally suck at it. It all depends on your talent and your intended audience.

agreed.

it *can* be done, it *has* been done. Personally, I'm not a good judge of whether it's good or not, because I simply don't like reading sexual things addressed to ME. If you write something in 2nd person I would be very careful to have a few people look at it first and make sure it's going to do well instead of being totally slammed by people who don't like the POV. Understand what I'm saying?

erg.

maybe i've stopped making sense.

Chicklet

 

[Quasimodem]

I read a good Tom Robbins book recently. It was in second person.

True! Tom Robbins did write at least one of his seven novels in the second person point of view, but then, Superman could fly. Neither are good reasons for emulation.

Just check it out, and decide for yourself.

THE NOVELS OF TOM ROBBINS

Another Roadside Attraction – 1971
Even Cowgirls Get the Blues – 1976
Still Life with Woodpecker – 1980
Jitterbug Perfume – 1984
Skinny Legs and All – 1990
Half Asleep in Frog Pajamas – 1994
Fierce Invalids Home from Hot Climates – 2000

 

[sirhugs]

normally I dislike second person ( I prefer my imagination to the authour's- who is HE to say what I did), but my chum bridgetkeeney writes sooooo well:

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=69156

second person works better included in a story as a section. see bridgetkeeney's Lauren's Masturbatory Musings

 

[patrick1]

You walk into the room
with a pencil in your hand
You see somebody naked and you say,
'Who is that man?'

...hey the occasional good lyric works in the second person. Interesting that Dylan's is a put-down. Something about the anger and disdain works well in the second person.

Lots of cyber-stories work well in the second person, don't they? Perhaps because they were originally written for one other person.

I've just been reading a brilliant crime novel called 'The Athenian Murders' by a man called Somoza that occasionally veers into the second person, but that's a device justified by context (the fictional translator gets enmeshed in the novel).

P

 

[pop_54]

Ok

Just reading through some of the replies here, hold on a minute.

Right:

So a lot of folks can't write in second person style with ease and or make it work, count me in there, but then these folks develope a hate for second person writings and always hit the back button.

WHY???

What's wrong with this style of story telling if it's done reasonably well, why say all Lit readers hit the back button as soon as they see second person stuff so it's a waste of time writing it.

HOW DO WE KNOW THEY ALL HIT THE BACK BUTTON???

Give it a chance, read it, then if it's crap vote and comment appropriately, not just hit the back button as soon as it turns second person.

Write it friend, then read it aloud to yourself, does it make sense, does it sound right, do you like being spoken to like this. 'Yes' Post it here. 'No' Scrap it and try again or something else.

pops..........

 

[gauchecritic]

Just to second Patrick "Once In A Lifetime" by Talking Heads. I'm at the supposed age where it refers to me.

Gauche

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Patrick got me to thinking (no easy task) about song lyrics in second person and I remembered another one.

"You walk into the party,
Like you were walking onto a yacht.
Your hat strategically tipped below one eye,
Your scarf it was apricot.
You've got one on the mirror and
You watch yourself a lot."

Carly Simon "You're So Vain"

Rumple Foreskin "Who's Not Vain"

 

[Guest]

You may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile..

Just to second Patrick "Once In A Lifetime" by Talking Heads. I'm at the supposed age where it refers to me.

Gauche

Same as it ever was
Same as it ever was
Same as it ever was
Same as it ever was

I knew I loved you for a reason, gauche.

SH-


You are too sweet.

I enjoy writing second person, as I have stated on other threads. It lends an intimacy that I like.

It is not for everyone, but I think it can work.

b

 

[DVS]

The main problem with storytelling in the second person is finding a story which truly requires that structure.

I think that is it, in a nutshell. Second person isn't for every story. But, if you have something to say that requires second POV, it works.

Not to toot my own horn, but I have a second person story. I don't normally mention my own writing, because it isn't me to do so.

I am only offering this as an example of how a story might require and then use second person. How well this is accomplished is totally up to the reader. I am satisfied with it.

So, if you want to read it, the link is below. In eight chapters, but it was intended to be one story. I won't go into why it is eight chapters, just don't plan on each chapter standing on its own.

It is a BDSM story, so be forewarned. It isn't Erotic Coupling!

www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=47214

 

[sirhugs]

talking heads aside, stories aren't pop songs- I suspect that its the assumed intimacy of second person that is the turn off. Only masters of intimacy can hold the balance without losing the illusion. in a pop song, the brevity and tune carry you along....

" My House ...is a very fine house..."

 

[Quasimodem]

If, into this discussion of second person pov, we are going to allow poetry, and especially song lyrics, we are truly lost!

While song writing CAN be storytelling - especially in Nashville - that is not required.
Simply sharing an emotion may be enough.
Making sense, is sometimes more than song writing demands.*
I cry ‘Apples’ and ‘ Oranges.’


*
Who put the bomp, in the bomp-de-bomp-de-bomp?
Who put the ram in the rama-lama ding dong?

I can just see Agatha Christie using that as the theme for one of her Miss Marple stories.

 

[Rainbow Skin]

The main problem I have with second-person stories is that most writers make them generic. I have the same problem with stories that are about a generic Him and Her.

Characterization is excluded, as are external details. The story is just a primal sex scene. They're trying to get you the reader to identify with the you of the addressee, and so leave out anything that individuates the addressee. In this case, 'you feel...' provokes the reader's annoyed reaction 'no I blimmin' well don't'.

I haven't tried one, but I think the technique would be to individuate as much as possible. Then it would be more like the reader overhearing the narrator, voyeuring into the intimacy.

[deleted attempted paragraph...]

 

[Guest]

perzactly

Then it would be more like the reader overhearing the narrator, voyeuring into the intimacy.

That's what I like about 2nd. It is basically a 1st person story with the intimacy of "overhearing" all the narrators thoughts and words for the addressee without the continual interruptions of dialogue/thought tags.

And I get hot from reading ones written to men as well as women. The voyeur part is hot, but also taking the persona of the 1st of the story is fun.

b

 

[sirhugs]

I haven't tried one, but I think the technique would be to individuate as much as possible. Then it would be more like the reader overhearing the narrator, voyeuring into the intimacy.

[deleted attempted paragraph...]

perhaps though this is what limits the appeal- only the segment of readers who indentify with the individualization get it.

 

[Rainbow Skin]

I was thinking that individuating would avoid the identification problem. What I mean is, if you read:-

You are taken by surprise. You squirm, you are shocked, your body involuntarily reacts.

- then the reader is thinking, 'you're trying to do this to me, and sorry, no, I'm not doing that'.

But if you read:-

You are in your thirties, bored, with red hair cut in an unruly fringe; you are stuck in that advertising job, you want to meet more intelligent people, you miss Simon who made you laugh so much even though he teased you about your freckles.

- then the reader might think, 'well, that's obviously not me, bit I'm interested in this well-rounded character the narrator is talking to: I might eavesdrop a little more.'