jeff_is_smiling
Flirtin' an' stalkin'
- Joined
- Nov 7, 2002
- Posts
- 105,291
I was on a trip and traveling thru Seattle airport wearing my "traveling clothes." My traveling clothes are basically jeans and some sort of t-shirt with a strange design or quote on it. I wear it to get a reaction out of people...usually displaying it proudly as I walk....
In this case, the "t-shirt flavor of the day" was my shirt showing the famous picture on the ceiling of the Sistene Chapel...of God reaching down to man....only my shirt has the added caption, "Pull my finger!" by God in the drawing, and the additional statement, "And on the 8th day He created the winds...." under the picture. I am VERY proud of this shirt as you can tell....
Anyways, as I go thru the metal detector, my shoes set the alarm off and this african-american woman guard grabs my arm quickly...then looks directly at my shirt, then up to my eyes as she says,
"My...those white boys sure have small penises!"....then she pauses to let that sink in before adding, "You aren't wearing that shirt to advertise, are you?"
OK, so I am stunned and unable to communicate at first. While I am sitting down putting my now-examined shoes back on, I try to think of a comeback statement....but the time is moving fast and I am left with nothing...and then she strikes again.
Her next door neighbor asks her, "What did you tell that man?" To which she replies, "He's wearing that shirt that has the picture of God pointing down...you know the one from that church? Anyways, I was looking at it and saw that those white boys sure had small penises."
The other woman just nods her head and goes back about her business...leaving myself and the other 40 or so people to stand about and wonder...
I was torn between laughing loudly...or trying to defend God's honor with some statement like, "God does NOT have a small penis!" or perhaps, "If penis size was that important, God would have a monster schlong!".....but I just kept my cool and walked on....clutching my jacket to my front to prevent anyone else from seeing my "penis-envy" shirt...
In this case, the "t-shirt flavor of the day" was my shirt showing the famous picture on the ceiling of the Sistene Chapel...of God reaching down to man....only my shirt has the added caption, "Pull my finger!" by God in the drawing, and the additional statement, "And on the 8th day He created the winds...." under the picture. I am VERY proud of this shirt as you can tell....
Anyways, as I go thru the metal detector, my shoes set the alarm off and this african-american woman guard grabs my arm quickly...then looks directly at my shirt, then up to my eyes as she says,
"My...those white boys sure have small penises!"....then she pauses to let that sink in before adding, "You aren't wearing that shirt to advertise, are you?"
OK, so I am stunned and unable to communicate at first. While I am sitting down putting my now-examined shoes back on, I try to think of a comeback statement....but the time is moving fast and I am left with nothing...and then she strikes again.
Her next door neighbor asks her, "What did you tell that man?" To which she replies, "He's wearing that shirt that has the picture of God pointing down...you know the one from that church? Anyways, I was looking at it and saw that those white boys sure had small penises."
The other woman just nods her head and goes back about her business...leaving myself and the other 40 or so people to stand about and wonder...
I was torn between laughing loudly...or trying to defend God's honor with some statement like, "God does NOT have a small penis!" or perhaps, "If penis size was that important, God would have a monster schlong!".....but I just kept my cool and walked on....clutching my jacket to my front to prevent anyone else from seeing my "penis-envy" shirt...
